This Week in Milford

November 15, 2017

Sing Some Spanish

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Uncle Gary came so close to touching his face and springing me from having to write today’s post…

Panel 1: Great, so we’re adding in some racial condescension to Uncle Gary’s shtick. That’s just what we needed.

Panel 2: I’ll say it again, Ricky is being awfully tolerant of his uncle’s delusional maneuvering. As has been suggested by others, it seems we’re well past the point where he would’ve told UG to stuff it.

Panel 3: Worst episode of Entourage ever. (I dunno; I never saw the movie.)

Please note that posts from me next week will be delayed as, instead of rehashing this dreck, I will hopefully be taking in views from the Tortolita mountains.

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November 10, 2017

Much Adou about nothing

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 7:00 pm

We finally have the finished product of Uncle (or Grampa ) Garys efforts to sensationalize his grandson (or nephew) and his enormous singing ability. And its just a website of people singing. If you didnt know where to find it you’d never see Rick in all his glory crooning about Old Glory. Now that the whole team has seen it can we move on to other things, like a video of Gary being shot out of a cannon, removing him once and for all from this planet?  Now THAT would be viral in a heartbeat.

What are you doing online? The same thing all you losers are doing – posting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Photobucket, and Google Plus. Hey, I even saw a video of Marjie Ducey doing a striptease. Pass me the phone please!

October 27, 2017

The .. whaaaaat???

So now that Gil has all these plans to overhaul the offense and put in the veer, which I’m sure requires him to be on the job almost 24/7, he suddenly worries about … Rick singing the national anthem before the game??

WTF? why the hell does Gil give a flying fuck who sings the national anthem before the game?? He’s got plays to teach, Players to teach them to, practices to run, and now he gets emails about this distraction? Every week its something else thats more hair-brained then the last week. Its as if they cant get enough to do before they have to worry about something else thats 10 times as trivial. They take 2 months to play 2 games then decide they need a new offense after the defense gets its doors blown off. Now its this crap.

And all because Rick sang a song at the cafeteria last month! That he didnt want to sing anyway. Now he’s turned into Wayne Messmer overnight. (He’s an anthem singer in my hometown)

P3 – Dr. Pearl wrote the note; and she sounds like a fan, but again, doesnt she have better things to do? I already ranted in my metapost last Monday  (hope y’all had time to read it, I had too many thoughts to just comment)  about them farting away the summer on Jaquan Cases football dreams instead of delving into this sexy new offense that’ll debut just in time for snowflakes on the ground.

Well, after saying all that, I’ve decided who should really sing the anthem at the next game. Its someone they truly deserve, and couldnt be more fitting for the meatheads in charge of this school:……………

Roseanne Barr.

October 24, 2017

Spring It On Tilden – Probably

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense — timbuys @ 7:04 am

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Panel 1: Oh, Uncle Malaprop, you so wacky! Credit to Rick for doggedly continuing to play this straight.

Panel 2: Did you read up on the Veer offense at the link Ned so helpfully provided yesterday? If so, I’m sorry to say that you wasted your time, because Ricky can lay down the 411 on the Veer in a succinct 18 words. Take that, Wikipedia writers and editors!

Panel 3: If I walked into a room and someone who looked like Uncle Malaprop whirled around with their laptop and said those words to me, I would immediately shy away in terror before taking any chance of being exposed to whatever horrible prurient internet novelty he had just discovered.

Minus points: I’ve never been so uncomfortable with the extremely awkward mid-panel close-up format than today. What is that schmutz in his goatee?

TWIM Commenter Challenge: Identify the two icons and window displayed on Ol’ Unca Gary’s laptop in panel one. (Bonus points if you can also identify the OS.)

October 13, 2017

Trust me, you’re full of c**p

When I was in high school we had a thing called Career Day where various reps from careers ranging from artist to zookeeper would come in and we would gravitate toward the field(s) of our interest and hopefully get a taste of the field before we decided to either pursue it as a major in college or as a future job etc. I cant recall who I visited but rest assured it was nothing of the sort of work I wound up doing, which I’m sure is the case for most people.

Some years later in my school newsletter I got as an alumni they had a blurb about the upcoming Career Day and a short list of which fields they needed to fill for the event. On the list:  Singer. My eyes froze.

Really!  Someone in a high school that was 90% college prep was gonna take all that algebra, world history, calculus, and physics education he/she was getting and turn it into a career that is mostly self-employed and mainly requires long hair, tattoos, and drugs as well as late-night gigs with a band and no guarantees of anything financially secure plus you need to hire (and pay) an agent to promote your sound and schedule gigs. Its a hard and mostly difficult life and all but the very few who actually make a profit are soon left with nothing but debts and sore throats. Plus some cool tats. But I digress. I was imagining someone from Twisted Sister (like Dee Snyder) coming to the school and everyone dropping who they were visiting to see him. Too funny.

The strip basically is about Garys pipe dream that Katie should be a singer; I thought Rick was the one singing. And who’s Connie?? Who’s he pointing at in P3? Somebodys mom? Whos mom?? When are they gonna play another game? Whens the bonfire? What does Millard West high school have to do with any of this??

And how  the fuck does being in LA for 20 years qualify you to determine that a dude singing 1 song in a high school cafeteria should be a professional singer??

 

October 11, 2017

For Those Of You Curious About The Milford Fight Song…

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I’m afraid I have bad news.

Panel 1: Gary’s pop star aspirations for Ricky might take a hit if that is Milford Pattern Balding syndrome that we’re seeing here. Also, too, spoon? WTH?

Panel 2: Idiots or Weirdos? Idiots it is.

Panel 3: I wouldn’t even know who Ed Sheeran is if not for online discussion of his recent appearance in a certain popular fantasy TV show. That aside, I have absolutely no clue who these two young Lady Mudlarks are, but their appearance today does lend support to my theory that Alison Bechdel really ticked Rubin off at some point.

September 19, 2017

No More Awkward Middle Panel Extreme Close Ups For Mike Anytime Soon

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 9:49 am

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We don’t have a tag for it but, jeeze, that is a hell of a mug on Mike. I recognize it’s hard to draw differentiated characters absent giving them wildly varying hairstyles – befitting the spirit of youthful experiemntation – but I’m not sure just what the heck Whigham is going for here.

September 12, 2017

Establishing The Baseline

Filed under: big arms, Coach Kaz, freak hands, general nonsense, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 6:02 am

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Hey it’s a lineman who wants to be something else. No, wait. It’s his uncle who wants him to be something else.

Bonus point: If you like sideburns, today’s strip is for you.

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