Blind mans bluff

A quick review of the weeks strips ( I was out in Tucson all week on a golf /swimming / sightseeing / spring break vacation) and its astonishing how Gregg Hamm is getting through life the way he is.

I had terrible eyesight as a kid too, and wound up getting Lasik in 2001 with corrrection to 20/30 thats now about 20/40. But I merely had astigmatism, and it seems Gregg here is basically half blind even WITH glasses. One of the many things I learned out in the valley of the sun was that bats arent blind– they actually see very well, and also listen to vibrations in the air to detect predators.

As I said before, I cant imagine how Gregg is a pitcher even with a catcher who knows him, as part of the duty of pitching is defending your own position, and hey, if a rocket comes back at him, how can he see it fast enough? Ok, maybe it doesnt matter how well you see sometimes; as we’ve all seen pitchers knocked down by batted balls. But he has many other things to do besides pitch every 4 days in spring. You need your eyes 365 days a year.

No idea what the hell that is on P1, (just figured it out, I thought it was something they had at the field to make noise, and the girl was the DJ)

Then there’s P3. A pink clad pitcher, throwing to a pink clad batter, with a red clad catcher, and there’s Gregg standing right behind the batter thinking about his fastball that may come right back at him in a millisecond. I need help here– and just getting back home I’m not ready to think that much. Have at it gang!

Taking all the credit huh?

Oh we just Knew that Spiller was gonna take all the credit for the last 2 football victories, even though as far as I could tell he wasnt even on the field. Whats he gonna say when they inevitably lose a game?

When I was a baseball coach, I told the kids up front ” You guys get all the credit for the victories, and I’ll take all the blame for the losses.” I’m sure Spiller never heard that one from Gil.

At least in P2 they infer that everyone knows who he is, and they’ll let his talk fall off them like water off a rock. Whats the harm? When something negative happens, and it will, mark my words.

And in P3 we have more hypnotism ahead as one of the players needs a B on a test to be eligible for football. Huh? Arent we a bit late for this statement? I thought once the season started you were good to go, but I never played high school football so I dont know this answer very well.

But what I DO know is one freakin test result isnt gonna skew your GPA that much. Grades are quarterly, and are based on an average of ALL tests, not one. And he infers that he needs a B– that means he must be lower then standard to start with, so why the hell is he eligible NOW, by his logic?? I always thought a C average for athletes was good enough, but again, I didnt play on any teams in high school, plus maybe its different now, but a B is still a B, which is still above average.

But this strip has to simplify matters to a fault, so they come up with this ridiculous premise. I’m figuring this player will either develop eye problems or get an F on his test and then blame Spiller for the whole thing, which is the whole point of the storyline:

If you’re gonna take the cheers you gotta handle the boos. Lets see how Spiller does when his magic runs out.

In honor of the student in P1 wearing a shirt with a lightning bolt on it, here’s a clip from SHAZAM! an old TV show I used to watch on Saturday mornings. I’m sure some of you remember it.

Idiots 101

Boy if we had any notions that Rubin knew squat about golf, this summer storyline proved it. We’ve gone over the ludicrous dialogue enough already; suffice it to say all todays panels are are the cherry on the horseshit sundae.

P1 – Nobody puts their clubs in the car like that– you put the club end in first, then the bottom of the bag is the last part in. And for gods sakes– Hendricks knows the way out! Did he just go blind? I know his eyes are shut as he dutifully deposits his bag in his trunk ( as everyone does after every round Ive ever played) but jesus, has he been fuckin LIVING at the course?? Did he forget where the door was?! Imagine living with these douchbags for 3 months. I’d rather live in that cornfield where his ball was, along with a thousand others. I havent gotten over Gil searching a cornfield for what MAY be Carters ball– any goddamn golfer with any time in the game knows no matter how good you are you can still yank one into the cornfield. Scratch or no scratch. And the cost of the ball– I dont belong to a country club but the pro CARING about the difference between a $4 ball and a $1.50 ball, when dues for these places are thousands of dollars… is just lunacy. Who the hell buys balls one at a time anyway??

I’ve been playing golf since 1978, and not one of these statements made in this storyline has ever been made by me or anyone I’ve either played with, or come in contact with, or said on a TV broadcast of a tournament.

P2– Well gee, Heather needed the lowest possible course in college to do research that any 12 year old could do. So all the pro did was bring Carter into the room and BS him about pressing charges and writing a check. I really found a couple things hard to believe– that 15 years later he looked that similar that Heather knew it was him– I’ve seen what 15 years does to some people. Next, why would Carter keep THE SAME raincoat in his bag for 15 years? You play golf a lot your bag wears out too, and getting a new bag means tossing the old junk in the old one out. And my old raincoat literally made me wetter after so long, so I got another one. AND WHY KEEP A COLLEGE RAINCOAT ANYWAY? I keep an old winter hat from my college– in my closet so it doesnt get worn out. Who cares about raincoats??

P3– so the pro was just BS-ing Carter– well, so much for any credibility HE has. If I’m Carter I dont send him shit– I move on to the next club where everyone there has a goddamn brain and an IQ above 65. And I go about my business and keep on raking in the dough, and nobody will give a fuck about my $1.50 balls or my damn raincoat or my handicap. Getting away from these morons is the best thing thats happened to Carter. As Green Day sang— Good Riddance!

The race is on. Oh my.

So Marjie Ducey decides to call Zane and ask him about the library board race?! Didnt we go over this before, where she interviewed a player without parental permission? I cant believe this ‘race’ between a student and an adult for a position on the library board warrants her attention first of all, and secondly calling both him and Brito to ask about their opinions of the other person! When did she become the political reporter here? Sports Marjie, sports. Stick to that stuff. But its a comic strip, which always explains everything.

Zanes girlfriend is looking like Moe Howard with that hairdo.

Then just like that its printed in the paper for all to see. Does Gil even KNOW one of his own players is gonna be distracted by running for an office, then if he wins, by being on the board while playing baseball? Talk about a can of worms. And summers right around the corner; does this position take effect next school year? Or immediately?

Dick Enberg just turned over in his grave. Oh my!

And their arguments about each other are both hooey. Marjie just took their word for it? Are there any editors at that paper or what?

Dumb and Dumber (questions)

So the final damages were 57-13. Folks, I’ve been to many high school football games. And a game like this, where you know who’s gonna win 5 minutes into the game, and almost all the fans leave after the halftime show, is not a good show. 1 game I saw 2 people leaving in the First quarter after the home team was ahead 28-0. Joliet Catholic once beat St. Joseph 84-0, after leading 52-0 at halftime. They finally put in a running clock in my state after a team is ahead by more then 35 points in the second half. A QB who played for both Illinois and Iowa named Jon Beutcher had a running clock almost every game his senior year for Wheaton- Warrenville South. But he was worth the price of admission he was so good.

A good show is a 13-12 nailbiter or a 45-42 shootout, close to the end. Not a steamroller annihilating the downtrodden opposition, who usually barely have enough players to keep 11 bodies on the field, and who are just trying to get out of there in 1 piece.

Yet Gil calls passes for the 3rd stringer after calling only runs for the 2nd guy. Hmmmm. Yeah Marty its a dumb question – who the hell cares how you finish a game like this, but you needed to ask Gil where those calls were last week when your backup disobeyed you. And if you’re so good, you should be able to get through the season with 2 qb’s. Again, I watched high school football for decades, and can barely remember any injuries to the qb during the game. They generally played the whole game, lifted only to let the backup hand off a few times. I dont recall a single 3rd stringer playing a down. So Gils logic is pretty weak. If anything the SECOND stringer should get the reps here.

Finally we have the sulking Corinna in the hallways – why the fuck should she explain why she wasnt at that yawner? Kick his ass CK and stuff him in a locker to boot.

Bonfire?

These are the two quarterbacks, right? I don’t remember what they look like. Let’s say they’re Rapson and Thayer, but I’m not gonna swear I know which is which. The point is that one of them has now caught a glimpse of Corina and he’s interested. The other one wonders if he might get a leg up on the QB competition if his rival is smitten by the Milford “it girl”.

It’s all about Corina, friends. We’d better just get used to it. She’s sassy and brassy, she’s a catcher, she’s a prospective volleyball player, everybody’s talking about her and she’s just getting warmed up at Milford High School.

So could we tear our attention away from Corina for one panel so we can show this flippin’ bonfire? We can cut back to Corina afterwards as she stares into the flames, consumed with impulses to make the world BURN!

ETA: I just read of the sudden passing of Bill Bickel, aka CIDU Bill, who wrote the Comics I Don’t Understand blog. (It’s been over there among the Comics Mockage Posse links since the early days of TWIM.) I was not a regular reader, but I dipped in from time to time and enjoyed Bill’s unique angle on comics blogging. RIP CIDU Bill.

Will & Charlie At It Again.

The perspective is bouncing all over the place, so I’m not getting much of a solid grounding on who these people are. We have Will Thayer and Charlie Rapson leading calisthenics. Someone is looking on with a pissy face in Panel One. Is that Charlie or Will with the pissy face? They were set apart from the rest of the team in the last strip, so how could someboby else have gotten that close? But the pissy face doesn’t fit because they seemed pretty aligned in their approach. Who cares?

Now who is #70? Yelling out, That’s Leadership? What a suck up. What about #75? He thinks Rapson is full of crap and that Will should drill him. Is there a Will and Charlie backstory? Maybe we’ll find out, but I’d just assume find out what’s happening in volleyball.

Do you feel like I do??

Yes I’m posting almost a day late, but my main problem was I couldnt copy or find the strip anywhere for some reason. Now it works, so I’ll do a quick post.

So in the end as always, all is forgiven. Gil tells the dopes at State about the farce that was the head to head matchup of the century, which turned into a picnic. And THAT was what sealed the deal for the Mayor to get into this joint they call a college?? Sheesh.

Time for a song:\