Hey its football

We wanted football, I wanted football, and gosh darn it, we HAVE football. Or had, as this is an old game from 1987. Seems like we’ve waited 35 years for this anyway..

We first got a VCR in 1986; it was for my moms birthday, and I still remember how cool it was to put in a tape and record stuff, then watch it again. The first movie we watched? Terms of Endearment with Jack Nicholson. Not a bad start, and I started recording many things, sports, movies, TV shows, overnight stuff I never could stay up for, (one movie was The Paper Chase which was on at 2 am on Channel 9 and had a scene that was unviewable due to temporary loss of the cable signal and I didnt see it until years later) and over the years compiled about 170 tapes which I still have mostly in a box in the basement and others in a nice 2-doored pullout furniture piece designed for VHS tapes that is in my bedroom. I labeled them as I went and thank goodness I was so fastidious because 170 tapes would be a lot of work to detail all the programming on them at this point. I quit recording stuff when I finally decided I had so many tapes I would never have the time to watch them all, plus the space they took up was getting to the point that enough was enough, and of course I had also acquired a number of prerecorded tapes which took up more room, and at that time DVDs were more common, so I collected a few of those, which were quite slimmer as you know. Now I rarely add to my collection except in rare cases, as most stuff is either on Youtube or now that I have a DVR which came with my conversion to satellite a few years back, I can merely record anything I want and its stored within the confines of the TV, not adding to the finite space of the house.

So every so often I pull out a tape and watch it, (yes I still have a VCR, its a DVD?VCR combo that serves my needs well) and yes I have a few games from 1987 too. Most of my tapes have held up pretty well and its cool to watch the old commercials and the hairstyles from the 80’s and 90’s whenever the mood strikes. ( I always thought Joan London’s hair was gorgeous back in the day with her big perm on Good Morning America)

So anyhoo, Gil is coaching a game in which Luke Martinez is on his opposition. And young Marty Moon is on the mike. But we have a cliffhanger during the broadcast. Unless this is a Batman episode, a football game doesnt take a break in the middle of a play. So we must stay tuned until tomorrow for the result of ONE PLAY. Marty wouldnt take a break mid-play in real life. Not in 1987, not now.

But this is a comic strip. And Barajas is writing it. So we wait.

Friday night fever

Going camping this weekend to Coloma Michigan, so back in our old writers stomping grounds again. Thorp is really gonna sub for a French teacher?? Bou jour is about all I know, I took 3 years of Spanish.

Mon deu means My God. Dr. Pearl doesnt even wait for his answer, just throws it at him. My Spanish teachers never called in sick, but if they did, no way in hell could I look at my gym teacher who also coached football with a straight face.

Just have em study the next lesson on their laptops Gil, and the 45 minutes will be up before you can say Bon Vivant!

Its the Curly Shuffle (Thorp Special)

I have a feeling the Thorp Special is another reference to a long-ago play used before any of us were following the strip, and if not, I forgot about it. We may need a special (there’s that word!) category and/or department for old references from the archives. Perhaps our resident blogger who reports after the end of every season with the updated record book can assist us in this matter.

That all being said, the dialogue is ludicrous. Some kid who only learned the plays maybe a month ago is questioning the coaches instruction. “Do the Thorp Special”? Does that mean throw, catch, run, dance? All of the above??

Is Elias the passer or receiver? It merely looks like a pass play. Why give it such an official moniker? Evidently the play worked but its only the first half kids. Better concentrate on halftime adjustments. Every trick play only works once you know.

And obviously Marty knows what it is before the ball is snapped. How? Maybe the receiver signals to the QB? For what? Ive watched football for 45 years and I doubt this play is any different then the number of flea – flickers Ive seen in my day. My absolute favorite had to be the Dolphins-Chargers playoff game in 1981 when the Fins scored on the last play of the half on a sensational hook-and-ladder play after being down big early, then they carried the momentum into the 2nd half to tie the game and eventually lost in overtime on a field goal. Chargers TE Kellen Winslow turned into a folk hero for his performance in that game. Being a big Chargers fan I was thrilled at the outcome and I knew it was the best game I ever would see in my life that day. Nobody who saw that play will ever forget it.

I tried to upload the video of the play but the NFL wont let me. But here’s the Curly Shuffle.

Worlds Biggest Rag

We finally get the long awaited interview with Gregg (of course in uniform and not sitting at a coffeehouse relaxing.) Heather even talks to the catcher with his full equipment on. Hey isnt it summer yet? Today should be day 4. The planets are all in allignment for the next few days and we still are stuck with this dreadful storyline that like the Rolling Stones refuses to just go away.

Everyone else has checked out for 3 months and the Larks are still hanging on to Greggs final days as a pitcher, before he starts the rest of his life as a semi-blind man. At what cost is all this? Love how the supporting player justifies the scam theyre pulling on the rest of the league. Hey, let them figure it out while we live with this distraction that didnt need to be at all if the coaches had any sense. The other characters on the team have barely been developed while we drag out the inevitable runner-up finish for Milford and Greggs retirement from a game he had no business playing for at least 2 years. The fathers issues are still murky in relation to Greggs eyesight. Who cares how that turns out. If Mom files for divorce tomorrow she’ll be a better woman. Take your son to the best eye surgeon you can afford and pray its not too late. If the doc says — “What the hell was this kid doing pitching in high school?” , well, as one of my favorite sayings goes– all bad habits you have will rear their ugly head at some point. And for 3 months of baseball, your son wont be able to see for 50 years.

P3– accurate to a T. I think Kaz may be referring to the connection to his dad again, since Pops is trying to keep some secret. Also shows how putrid a town Milford is, since part of any newspapers goal is to reach as many people as possible. And they all have online editions these days so some jamoke from Africa can read it if he has a decent broadband connection. Kaz forgot about that.

Hey Blue are you blind?? No, your pitcher is.

All the umpires in history who’ve had to put up with various themes on the taunts they receive from fans about being blind have to love this strip, where the ump finally gets his revenge! This time its the pitcher who is blind. And the ump calls him out on it, and damn it, he’s right.

Yeah Gil no rule says Blue HAS to toss your man from the game, but guess what smartypants. The ump is in charge of the game, not you. He can remove anyone from the game that he believes is a safety hazard to the other players. And if you cant figure that out by now you’re a moron. He can eject fans too. How many years have you been coaching and not know that? I coached baseball for 5 years and had several arguments with the blue man group. But I never crossed the line. If an ump told me my player couldnt see, by god I’d have him out ASAP. Not Gildo.

My catcher once got tossed for accidently bumping the ump walking off the field after an inning late in a road game, and the players mom went berserk, understandably. I thought Blue was gonna run her as well, and he had a right to. I found out I had no catcher after I heard her screaming at him. (We lost the game in the next half inning anyway so I didnt need to replace my only catcher. But it was still a BS call.)

And what is Gils insistence on PLAYING this guy anyway?? Jesus, put someone else in already! Dont you have 4 other pitchers at least?? I’m starting to think Gil is in cahoots with Mr. Hamm, secretly giving Gregg more PT to help some unknown cause that we dont even have privy to yet.

Because this makes less sense every day. Thank god the ump sees right through this charade. Throw em all out Blue!!

Oh yeah, Heather is transcribing the action. Whats her take on this?

Ryne Duren? What a quack.

This guy Gregg Hamm just wont give up will he? Its now June 3, folks. Graduation has come and gone, and at this rate we’ll be blowing off fireworks before this dude figures out his pitching days are over. Just give it up already and get help for your eyes while you can still read the E on the eye chart.

And did he forget he only pitches every 4th or 5th game anyway? This whole storyline has fallen off the tracks, and we still havent gotten to the bottom of the Dad Scared to be in Photos mystery, and the dual wives (hey I’ll take the blond in a heartbeat) plus the softball season. I knew they wernt gonna cover tennis. All for dicking around about playing with bad eyes.

Ryne Duren https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryne_Duren

was a borderline major league pitcher who wore thick glasses (like I used to) to help him see. Well Gregg already wears glasses so we crossed that off the list. Ryne apparently saw better with frames then Gregg, because he got to the big leagues. I have no idea what Cloris has in mind fixing Greggs problem with Ryne Duren, since Ryne went to the grave in 2011. Is she saying throw so wild that the opposition gets scared to face him? Again, we dance around the real problem. The ducks in P1 are leaving the scene of this storyline in search of smarter humans.

Blind mans bluff

A quick review of the weeks strips ( I was out in Tucson all week on a golf /swimming / sightseeing / spring break vacation) and its astonishing how Gregg Hamm is getting through life the way he is.

I had terrible eyesight as a kid too, and wound up getting Lasik in 2001 with corrrection to 20/30 thats now about 20/40. But I merely had astigmatism, and it seems Gregg here is basically half blind even WITH glasses. One of the many things I learned out in the valley of the sun was that bats arent blind– they actually see very well, and also listen to vibrations in the air to detect predators.

As I said before, I cant imagine how Gregg is a pitcher even with a catcher who knows him, as part of the duty of pitching is defending your own position, and hey, if a rocket comes back at him, how can he see it fast enough? Ok, maybe it doesnt matter how well you see sometimes; as we’ve all seen pitchers knocked down by batted balls. But he has many other things to do besides pitch every 4 days in spring. You need your eyes 365 days a year.

No idea what the hell that is on P1, (just figured it out, I thought it was something they had at the field to make noise, and the girl was the DJ)

Then there’s P3. A pink clad pitcher, throwing to a pink clad batter, with a red clad catcher, and there’s Gregg standing right behind the batter thinking about his fastball that may come right back at him in a millisecond. I need help here– and just getting back home I’m not ready to think that much. Have at it gang!

Taking all the credit huh?

Oh we just Knew that Spiller was gonna take all the credit for the last 2 football victories, even though as far as I could tell he wasnt even on the field. Whats he gonna say when they inevitably lose a game?

When I was a baseball coach, I told the kids up front ” You guys get all the credit for the victories, and I’ll take all the blame for the losses.” I’m sure Spiller never heard that one from Gil.

At least in P2 they infer that everyone knows who he is, and they’ll let his talk fall off them like water off a rock. Whats the harm? When something negative happens, and it will, mark my words.

And in P3 we have more hypnotism ahead as one of the players needs a B on a test to be eligible for football. Huh? Arent we a bit late for this statement? I thought once the season started you were good to go, but I never played high school football so I dont know this answer very well.

But what I DO know is one freakin test result isnt gonna skew your GPA that much. Grades are quarterly, and are based on an average of ALL tests, not one. And he infers that he needs a B– that means he must be lower then standard to start with, so why the hell is he eligible NOW, by his logic?? I always thought a C average for athletes was good enough, but again, I didnt play on any teams in high school, plus maybe its different now, but a B is still a B, which is still above average.

But this strip has to simplify matters to a fault, so they come up with this ridiculous premise. I’m figuring this player will either develop eye problems or get an F on his test and then blame Spiller for the whole thing, which is the whole point of the storyline:

If you’re gonna take the cheers you gotta handle the boos. Lets see how Spiller does when his magic runs out.

In honor of the student in P1 wearing a shirt with a lightning bolt on it, here’s a clip from SHAZAM! an old TV show I used to watch on Saturday mornings. I’m sure some of you remember it.