The race is on. Oh my.

So Marjie Ducey decides to call Zane and ask him about the library board race?! Didnt we go over this before, where she interviewed a player without parental permission? I cant believe this ‘race’ between a student and an adult for a position on the library board warrants her attention first of all, and secondly calling both him and Brito to ask about their opinions of the other person! When did she become the political reporter here? Sports Marjie, sports. Stick to that stuff. But its a comic strip, which always explains everything.

Zanes girlfriend is looking like Moe Howard with that hairdo.

Then just like that its printed in the paper for all to see. Does Gil even KNOW one of his own players is gonna be distracted by running for an office, then if he wins, by being on the board while playing baseball? Talk about a can of worms. And summers right around the corner; does this position take effect next school year? Or immediately?

Dick Enberg just turned over in his grave. Oh my!

And their arguments about each other are both hooey. Marjie just took their word for it? Are there any editors at that paper or what?

Dumb and Dumber (questions)

So the final damages were 57-13. Folks, I’ve been to many high school football games. And a game like this, where you know who’s gonna win 5 minutes into the game, and almost all the fans leave after the halftime show, is not a good show. 1 game I saw 2 people leaving in the First quarter after the home team was ahead 28-0. Joliet Catholic once beat St. Joseph 84-0, after leading 52-0 at halftime. They finally put in a running clock in my state after a team is ahead by more then 35 points in the second half. A QB who played for both Illinois and Iowa named Jon Beutcher had a running clock almost every game his senior year for Wheaton- Warrenville South. But he was worth the price of admission he was so good.

A good show is a 13-12 nailbiter or a 45-42 shootout, close to the end. Not a steamroller annihilating the downtrodden opposition, who usually barely have enough players to keep 11 bodies on the field, and who are just trying to get out of there in 1 piece.

Yet Gil calls passes for the 3rd stringer after calling only runs for the 2nd guy. Hmmmm. Yeah Marty its a dumb question – who the hell cares how you finish a game like this, but you needed to ask Gil where those calls were last week when your backup disobeyed you. And if you’re so good, you should be able to get through the season with 2 qb’s. Again, I watched high school football for decades, and can barely remember any injuries to the qb during the game. They generally played the whole game, lifted only to let the backup hand off a few times. I dont recall a single 3rd stringer playing a down. So Gils logic is pretty weak. If anything the SECOND stringer should get the reps here.

Finally we have the sulking Corinna in the hallways – why the fuck should she explain why she wasnt at that yawner? Kick his ass CK and stuff him in a locker to boot.

Bonfire?

These are the two quarterbacks, right? I don’t remember what they look like. Let’s say they’re Rapson and Thayer, but I’m not gonna swear I know which is which. The point is that one of them has now caught a glimpse of Corina and he’s interested. The other one wonders if he might get a leg up on the QB competition if his rival is smitten by the Milford “it girl”.

It’s all about Corina, friends. We’d better just get used to it. She’s sassy and brassy, she’s a catcher, she’s a prospective volleyball player, everybody’s talking about her and she’s just getting warmed up at Milford High School.

So could we tear our attention away from Corina for one panel so we can show this flippin’ bonfire? We can cut back to Corina afterwards as she stares into the flames, consumed with impulses to make the world BURN!

ETA: I just read of the sudden passing of Bill Bickel, aka CIDU Bill, who wrote the Comics I Don’t Understand blog. (It’s been over there among the Comics Mockage Posse links since the early days of TWIM.) I was not a regular reader, but I dipped in from time to time and enjoyed Bill’s unique angle on comics blogging. RIP CIDU Bill.

Will & Charlie At It Again.

The perspective is bouncing all over the place, so I’m not getting much of a solid grounding on who these people are. We have Will Thayer and Charlie Rapson leading calisthenics. Someone is looking on with a pissy face in Panel One. Is that Charlie or Will with the pissy face? They were set apart from the rest of the team in the last strip, so how could someboby else have gotten that close? But the pissy face doesn’t fit because they seemed pretty aligned in their approach. Who cares?

Now who is #70? Yelling out, That’s Leadership? What a suck up. What about #75? He thinks Rapson is full of crap and that Will should drill him. Is there a Will and Charlie backstory? Maybe we’ll find out, but I’d just assume find out what’s happening in volleyball.

Do you feel like I do??

Yes I’m posting almost a day late, but my main problem was I couldnt copy or find the strip anywhere for some reason. Now it works, so I’ll do a quick post.

So in the end as always, all is forgiven. Gil tells the dopes at State about the farce that was the head to head matchup of the century, which turned into a picnic. And THAT was what sealed the deal for the Mayor to get into this joint they call a college?? Sheesh.

Time for a song:\

Baseball, pizza, apple subs, and… Ice Cream??

As much as we all wish our colleague Teenchy a swift recovery from whatever is ailing him, the first thought that crossed my mind when I heard about his condition was.. the strip was finally so far off the tracks that it made him physically ill.

And I’m sure thats not far off for the rest of us.

How on Gods green earth is this happening? We start off with the promise of a possibly exciting matchup thats so unknown that we dream of a memorable conclusion that will have the Milfordites talking about it the rest of the summer.

What we got is…not even close. How much food can these players eat in the first place to be able to play at any level resembling competitive when its already 90 degrees or so out (Yes its summer, we knew that before the game started)? I mean, really. During a normal athletic event most players are happy enough with water or Gatorade. This is like a Thanksgiving dinner for chrissake. And these kids are supposed to play with all these carbs and calories and sweets laid out for them?

I had already mentioned the umpire and the fans– did they know what was coming? Nope. Whoever planned this foodfest has shit for brains. And thats putting it mildly.

So I wont belabor their noble efforts to keep observing the constant interruptions in their job (ump) and their free time (fans). Which in any world beside ours would lead to downright mutiny.

Thank God they didnt charge admission for this or they’d be storming the Basilica.

Wherever this storyline is headed from here, somebodys got some major explaining to do. And I cant believe they have a rational one.

Get well soon Teenchy!!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Valley Modified Freakazoids!

Somehow the worst kept secret in the Valley is out and everyone with nothing better to do has come come out in full force in anticipation of a pummeling. Gaze in wide wonder at the pantheon of headgear on display: a Kangol cap, a pith helmet, some kind of biker cap along with your usual flatbills. Imagine why pith helmet lady feels the need to record this event. Marvel at the number of baby bottles being held by grown-ass adults. Question about those sketchy figures in the background on the grassy knoll. Try your hardest not the meet the gaze of the child of the corn down in front, who is as incredulous that this has drawn a crowd as you are.

The ex-Mayor of Milford High, ever the attention whore, shows up with team t-shirts, clearly inspired by a cartoon that aired about five years before they were born. (Or not; there could be twentysomethings on that Valley Mod team.)

 

 

 

Who sprung for those shirts? Were they a Valley Mod graphic arts project? Did somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody call in a favor? Talk amongst yourselves.

We know the Mudlarks’ motivation for playing this game, but what was Gil and Kaz’s for letting them play it? Taking Hiawatha James’ “more baseball is better than less baseball” statement as a hint, it could be that the ‘Larks are either already done with their season or have already been eliminated from playdown contention. This really feels like a lose-lose for Milford, no matter whether the team follows the catcher with his H.R. Giger-inspired headgear’s advice or not. At this point, all we can do is sit back, watch the wackiness ensue, and hope for the best that we only have three more strips of this nonsense (my bet is on nine).

That Peanut Butter Isn’t the Only Thing Nutso Around Here

Looks like Gil Thorp has a new sponsor, Nutso Peanut Butter. Wonder if Nutso’s from the same people who brought you Nutboy. Either the Nutso mascot is foreshadowing Phoebe and The Mayor’s next encounter by making his O face or else he’s reenacting Mr. Peanut’s fall to his death.

Other random observations:

1. Peanut butter on a bagel is not that unusual. Then again this is Milford, home of Schultz’s Polynesian Garden, so anything beyond white bread might be scandalous.
2. Dunno about La Bus, but Le Bus is a Philadelphia bakery of long standing that’s facing the same troubles many small businesses in this country are right now.
3. Where is that bagel, exactly? They’re not that hard to draw.
4. What kind of idiot brings peanut butter into a classroom in this century? (Don’t answer that.)
5. What kind of idiot brings a knife into a classroom in this century? Not one who’s in the class with Chance Macy.
6. Either that’s an awkward facepalm* or Phoebe’s fixin’ to break into an awkward Batusi.
7. Is that the late Kenny Rogers or Dr. Krieger from Archer teaching this Southern Gothic Literature course?
8. If Flannery O’Connor’s name is invoked, can peacocks be far behind?
9. If peacocks are involved, can rally hippos be far behind? (Considering Jamila’s still on the team, I’d give it even odds.)

 

*”Facepalm” might be a good tag to add to our “Categories & Tags” list. Will give it some thought.