This Week in Milford

November 18, 2017

Life-Changing Foreshadowing

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Wow. Take away the dialogue from today’s first panel and you’d be hard pressed not to think Uncle Gary was fixing to slap the hell out of his sister Connie. I’m sure it’s really meant to be more of a “talk to the hand” gesture, as in “What Rick thinks (or you think) of my grand scheme to make him famous is of no consequence to me.” Or, in the words of someone I alluded to in my last post:

The only person’s life in need of obvious change here is Uncle Gary, but not in the way he thinks.  What does dad in Dubai think of this? Why haven’t we seen or heard diddly from him? Wouldn’t Connie or Rick have mentioned Gary’s scheme to him already? Wouldn’t he be back on the next Emirates nonstop into Milford International Airport to beat creepy uncle to a pulp? Meanwhile…

“We’re here at Milford High School, where we’ve secretly replaced Rick Soto’s head with one off a broken Rock’em Sock’em Robot. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!”

Rick is not getting the gist of veer blocking from Coach Steve Boone. Maybe Uncle Gary’s little scheme is proving too much of a distraction. Maybe the fake concussion Uncle Gary claimed Rick had will turn into a real concussion next week. Then the real life changing may begin.

 

 

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November 16, 2017

Football Season! Music Season!

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Ricky Ricardo Soto: Would you like me to sing now or wait till football season’s over?

Uncle Gary: Sing now! Sing now!

RRS: You keep outta this! You don’t have to sing now!

UG: I do so have to sing now!

I demand that you let me sing now!

Let’s run through that again.

RRS: Okay. Would you like me to sing now or wait till football season’s over.

UG: Sing now. Sing now.

RRS: You keep outta this. You don’t have to sing now.

UG: Ha! That’s it! Hold it right there!

<Pronoun trouble.>

It’s not: “*You* don’t have to sing now.” It’s: “*I* don’t have to sing now.”  Well, I say I do have to sing now!

TWIM bloggers and readers: So shoot me now!

***

Andre “Hands of Stone” Ruffin, erstwhile backup tight end, has a name ripped from the police blotter.

Recycled art tag: Casa del Soto.

November 9, 2017

Nice to Know Somebody Likes Something About All of This

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There’s an underlying aura of creepiness that I can’t exactly put my finger on about today’s strip. Is it Trainer Rick Scott’s “I like what I see here” as he lovingly cradles Rick’s bare foot and calf? Is it that Uncle Gary (and his enormously oversized Bluetooth earbud) has a posse of the equally underemployed to roll out YouTube videos at his command? Is it Rick waving his arm like Evita Peron* as he sings the national anthem? Or is it the idea of rando Milfordian’s grandpa’s browser history that led him to Rick’s performance?

*It doesn’t take much to imagine Rick singing “Don’t cry for me, Milford High School…”

metapost: Weird double post this morning. Hopefully I fixed it.

November 7, 2017

Oh Goody. More Waiting.

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Amazing. So, Gil’s brilliant strategy of implementing a new offense mid-season was based on, among other very dubious assumptions, the notion that it keys entirely off of one and only one player. That’s some coaching.

Panel 1: I had a job with a guy from the midwest who used ‘gents’ frequently. A recent development was that I had to work with/for him a lot more. I don’t work at that job anymore.

Panel 2: Should I recognize this guy? I sure should. He’s the dynamo who is driving the plot, Andre! Here he is as part of the crowd and here is where we confirm his name. We also see him here being kind of a jerk about supporting Little Ricky’s fledgling singing career. Way to go, Andre! That can-do spirit is exactly what the team will need while they are getting pounded into the turf at Tilden.

Panel 3: Speaking of jerks… Jeeze guys. Maybe save that talk for after practice. Are coaches Shaw and Boone the shadowy figures lurking in panel two? Guys! Gil and Andre can totally hear you.

Bonus Question: What is the purpose of that card Steve is holding? I checked the color version of the strip which shows that it’s a white, blank card.

Bonus Bonus Question: Speaking of, by what means is Steve’s towel suspended?

November 4, 2017

The Easily Swayed Dr. Pearl

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….Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re right back where we were last Saturday. Gil can resist Uncle Gary’s relentless Astroturfing, but Dr. Pearl apparently cannot. One might think that the administrator, with her fancy book-learnin’ and cushy desk job, would cast a more jaundiced eye toward the email campaign – starting with finding out who is sending them.

Makes me wonder what Uncle Gary’s firing off in those missives on his teeny tiny laptop with his freaky deaky hands:

Pearl, Pearl, Pearl,

Come be my lovin’ girl

Don’t you marry Lester Flatt

He slicks his hair with possum fat…

 

November 3, 2017

Just when you thought it was safe….

….to miss Rick singing at a game, here it comes. But first we have to look at his foot with a pumpkin on top of it. Oh yeah, that supposed to be an icebag. Last time I was that close to a foot I walked into the tiny  pro shop at a golf course and the female employee was standing on a chair barefoot dusting the ceiling fan. I told her I almost ran into her feet, and resisted a sudden urge to tickle them. Lol. If I ever write about my golf career this story would definitely make the list. Life has those unique moments you always remember.

P2 – really, how many trainers at a high school have pictures of leg bones on their wall? This isnt a doctors office for chrissake. And the diagrams have boxes pointing to them containing 4 straight lines, which are supposed to be words but shit they dont even look close to it. And no way is anyones kneecap THAT big compared to their leg bones. Jeez. F for artwork today.

And in P3 we have Uncle Dickwad on his PC lining up Ricks singing gig in front of millions of YouTube fans. I have a feeling now its not before a game, but somewhere else. Hey, as long as its not on this strip I’m fine with it.

November 2, 2017

I Was Hoping It Was His Gary, Too

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Milford was up 10 on Madison day before yesterday. Did they score to make it closer? We’ll never know. We’ll miss out on a trip to The Bucket too since we have to ride home with Rick Soto’s mom and Uncle Astroturf. Fill in the blank: what was Uncle Gary’s glad it’s not his? Talk amongst yourselves.

Rick will get his big chance to sing the national anthem at next week’s game since he can’t play in it. (Nice cameo today by the late Bernie Casey as Rick’s real doctor.) Hopefully it’s a home game or else Gil, Dr. Pearl & co. will have to go through more machinations to help Rick pull that off. Such suspense!

October 30, 2017

Monday Morning Stretching

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp — nedryerson @ 5:46 am

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Folks, it’s very important to stretch. In my experience, stretching is instrumental in exercise because it makes something time consuming and tedious even more time consuming and tedious. It can also be painful, especially if you’re not doing it right. That brings us to today’s exercise in story telling.

Did you hear that there’s some sort of email campaign (and some passing of notes) to have Rick Soto sing the national anthem before the next football game? Well, if you haven’t heard, Gil and Mimi will fill you in via their patented “jog and chat” routine. (This is some sort of trope, I guess. I’ve seen many Funky Winkerbeans with Les and his buddy jogging and malapropping. I think the show The West Wing was known for the “walk and talk”. My favorite variation is from television of my youth on the show CHiPs when Ponch and Jon would do “Roar Down The Freeway on Massive Motorcycles, Patrolling Los Angeles For All Manner of Crimes and Chat”….good times.)

Who is behind this electronic communication whisper campaign? Oh Uncle Gary, you’re such a scamp! I do like Panel 3, as telegraphed as it is. Oh that Uncle Gary. I hate him, he’s just so smug.

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