But the cast of Friends have..

The scene today is in Gils car on the ride home from the arcade, and father and son are having a talk about things. The car is a good place to have such talks, as there is no escape and people are close enough together that they can discuss topics that otherwise would be awkward in a normal setting. They also dont have to make eye contact, so it lends itself to more intimate thoughts. I remember having many talks with my dad in the car as we rode together to the golf course, my college, the gym, back home after high school, and anywhere else we had to go. After I learned to drive myself, we still had those talks, and it was a nice time to really enjoy each others company. Of course he was the one who taught me how to drive, and many fathers do that job before their kid actually goes to drivers training and gets their license. Its the essential practice time that we all need. So I remember the thrill of driving on a highway for the first time, and my dad was with me for it, in the front seat.

Jami is now old enough to sit in the front, which makes the dynamic easier. When my sister and I were little kids we sat in back and my mom would be in front with dad most of the time, but little kids dont have the thoughts at that age anyway. Sitting up front is like a rite of passage, as its a way of your parents saying, now your almost a man, so we can have more man to man talks.

So Gil is expounding on parenting and how he hasnt always been the best parent. We know that to be true from the past 6 months or so. Im sure some of you who are parents (as I’m not) agree there is no right or wrong way to raise kids, it really depends on the individual child. Their needs and personalities are different; so I think the best way, just speaking from the experience of watching my parents raise me and my sister, is to set some general guidelines for behavior, and within those guidelines, the kids can do whatever they want. Thats how my parents raised us. And they were good role models, but in such a way that neither of us kids felt like we had to be like them. Just be ourselves, and the rest will take care of itself.

So its good that Gil recognizes his shortcomings and wants to improve on them Thats all he can do anyway.

Of course in P3 we have a little drama as a car flies past them; I suppose we’ll get into what that was all about tomorrow.

No, call me Moron.

Pretty sad that after a kid misses ONE shot in a Pop-A-Shot game where you normally get a bunch of shots and try to make as many as possible in 30 seconds or so, Gil has to step in and instruct him on proper form. Hey Gil, your 2 feet taller at least, so your perspective on the rim is quite different. Its kinda like me teaching a little kid how to dunk a basketball on a 4 foot rim. Im 6’3. Dont even have to jump for that. And little kids cant hold a ball like that – they need to push the ball with 2 hands or else it wont make it to the basket. Doh.

Then we have P2 where the ball is suddenly smaller then the beach ball drawn yesterday. Great Gil you made ONE shot. The object is to grab the ball again and make MORE shots. One is shit in that game. A line drive style works best in Pop A Shot, as the ball come back faster after it goes through. Gil wants him to shoot moonballs. The way Gildo is shooting, the ball will hit the fuckin ceiling before the net.

P3 – Little Luke thanks Gil the way a kid addresses an adult, but ol Gil wants him to pretend he’s an adult already. As a kid I only called adults by their first name when they were my relatives (Aunt Murial, Uncle Ben). What happened to “Coach Thorp”? You mean to tell me all the kids Thorp coaches call him Coach Thorp and this tike already is on a freakin first name basis with him??

Nobody reading this will argue with P3. Generations come and go, but familiarity rules are timeless.

And Gil just broke them.

I’ve Got That Feeling, That Beet Boy Feeling

So many random words. Such colorful produce (well, except for the ones explicitly named). So many opportunities to make beet puns.

If there’s any major takeaway from today’s strip, it’s Gil’s admission as to why all of his shitty coaching decisions have never landed him in the unemployment line. A marathon fundraising event that exposes his student athletes to the risk of serious injury has to rank near the top, right alongside trotting a kid going blind out to the pitcher’s mound for every other start.

I’m getting a serious Dick Butkus/Alex Karras vibe from Andres there, especially when he takes off his glove to give an encouraging pat on the shoulder. That massive paw of his could crush Kaiser Gilhelm’s scapula and truly wither his arm. Why isn’t this dude participating in the Lift-a-thon? For that matter, why aren’t the adults of Milford out there doing this fundraising?

Talk amongst yourselves. I’m sure you won’t miss a beet.

Mele Kalikimaka ‘n stuff

Season’s greetings, gentle readers. I’m here from another hemisphere to take us into the transition out of football and into whatever comes next. Let’s check in with the Thorps to see what’s been going on off the field. I’m not gonna attempt to touch Festivus but I recommend that you check out the Mopped Up Thorp Festivus post; it’s awesome.

December 23, 2022

Oh my goodness this is getting sad fast. Meemaw appears to have left the nursing home to be in home hospice care. A detached-looking Gil stands in the doorway. I wonder if he ever knew how much Meemaw wanted Mimi to divorce him and try to revive a golf career we never knew she had. At least the Thorp kids are providing us the look at a Milford bonfire we didn’t get during football season.

KXCI is a community radio station in Tucson. It also streams online. There’s no reason to wonder, then, whether Milford has moved west of the Mississippi, or get into the matter of those stations east of the Mississippi beginning with K (e.g., KDKA in Pittsburgh, KYW in Philly) or those west of the Mississippi beginning with W (e.g., WHO in Des Moines).

In case you were wondering, The Both was a duo consisting of Aimee Mann and Ted Leo (but no Pharmacists). They’ve recorded a single , self-titled album to date, in 2014. The lyrics are from their song “Nothing Left To Do (Let’s Make This Christmas Blue).”

December 24, 2022

Now we get the triple-header Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa strip. I am not a member of the tribe so I did not know that ugly Hanukkah sweaters are a thing. I did, however, know that Hanukkah menorahs have nine candles, not seven as appear on Rachel’s sweater. I also did not know that Tobias and Mel were canonically Jewish. Kaz is looking a little distracted tbh. Probably thinking about his upcoming bris.

The Thorps manage to smile for their family photo save for Keri, who’s showing off her knuckle dusters and the reason Pedro Martinez has been hanging around. (meta: Moon Mullins points out Keri is flashing the universal symbol for eating at the Y, so not completely out of character.)

Finally we have… who? I honestly do not know and I feel guilty for not knowing. This isn’t the Brown-Hiatt family from a few years bock.* Is it one of Keri’s volleyball teammates? Help me out here, please.

It is now after midnight where I am and so, while you may have several hours to go, it is already Christmas Day here. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and we’ll see you again on Boxing Day.

*This should read “a few years back,” but I’m leaving this typo in since that’s what I was drinking on Christmas Eve.

“How not to advance the plot” for dummies

I really thought today was gonna reveal something about Keri’s odd personality but no– we flip back to last Tuesday. The only problem with that is we dont even know what today is. I thought we had Marjie D AND football back too, but it was too good to be true. Back to the uneven nonsense that this new plot has become. I forgot all about the Linda Lindas until today. Their need to be in this strip is next to zero. Didnt we just look at 2 newspaper issues back to back, 1 telling a blatant lie and the next exagerating a high school football matchup before it happens? When did games have previews that warranted front page headlines, even in a rag like this one?

One thing that hasnt changed is this late season football. Its Veterans Day and we’re still in mid-season form. Get on the stick or we’ll have Frosty saying “Happy Birthday!” before the final gun is fired.

Hard to believe the Linda Lindas were at the school library so late that Keri cant get up the next morning. Cant they schedule this hoo-ha on a Friday or Saturday night?? Check another ‘makes no sense’ box.

In honor of Hurricane Nicole thats currently ravaging Florida our song today will be this rarely heard gem from Point Blank in 1983. I swear I’ve had Sirius radio for 12 years and havent heard this played once. Its way too good to be so off the map. Of course in high school I heard it all the time.

A lot of noise signifying nothing

The fake drill winds down with plenty of noise and thank god its over and nobody got hurt. But Keri is crying of course. Now we add mental health issues and grief counseling to our laundry list of topics and storylines.

Hope Dr. Pearl heard that the drill is really over. Doesnt sound like it. Hope she doesnt need paramedics after all that excitement. Lord knows in 40 years at that school she more or less slept through the school years. Now its action time with a new sheriff writing the strip.

Heading to Dallas tomorrow for the Bears -Cowboys game Sunday and hope to bring home another win as they havent lost in front of me since 2017.

Football seems far away right now in this strip as we havent even scheduled the annual bonfire.

A Mudlark Victory, Both Literal and Symbolic

Milford, having dropped its opener due to a Kaz spaz playcalling error, came into the Goshen game as rare underdogs (right? Hasn’t Goshen been historically a bottom dweller in the Valley?). The Mudlarks pulled off the upset win thanks to a play obvious to Marty in the press box but not to Goshen and the toe of new kicker Tobias Gordon. Now for a rare look into the stands post-game, pre-Bucket.

The entire Thorp family is in the stands in a rare show of support – but for whom? Apparently less so for Gil than for Toby and his mom, Mel. The current incarnation of Mel Gordon has been known for wearing t-shirts of metal bands, which makes her choice to wear the AC/DC shirt again bit less fraught with meaning. Keri’s choice – that of a vigilante anti-hero embraced by the military, the police and the far right – is a bit more confusing…

… but no more confusing than Keri flashing the love hands to Tobias. Is it her way of saying “I’ve been supporting you since I was a kid and you were a fetus“? We’ve already seen a bit of awkwardness on Keri’s part where Toby is concerned. Why encourage it, especially now that she’s been shown to be moist for Pedro Martinez?

Maybe we could ask Henry Barajas himself, as Whigham appears to have drawn him into the stands in front of Keri. When the snarkers suggested that Barajas should actually watch a couple of football games before he starts writing about them, I don’t think this is what they had in mind.

גמר חתימה טוב

“G’mar chatima tova (גמר חתימ טובה)” is, of course, the traditional Hebrew greeting given on Yom Kippur, which began at sunset yesterday evening. It translates roughly as “a good final sealing,” as in the Book of Life, in which observant Jews are inscribed on Rosh Hashanah and sealed on Yom Kippur.

The Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur is, among other things, a day of fasting. Before starting the fast at sunset, a meal called seudah hamafseket is served. Seudah hamafseket is considered festive and may include meat. So there, Keri.

We were getting set up for this for the past two days, what with the bagels for dinner and Kaz’s new SO being named Rachel. This strip has been serving up Christmas Day strips since forever, and the David Greene arc in fall 2001, hinging largely on Greene’s Jewish faith, woke up echoes of Hank Greenberg.

A strip involving Judaism, then, is in relative keeping with the history of Gil Thorp. I can’t think of any other strips that wove Judaism into its fabric beyond the departed Edge City, but I am welcome to have my memory jogged.

G’mar chatima tova to all you gentle readers who observe.