This Week in Milford

March 18, 2017

In Like a (Home)wrecking Ball

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces, Just plain sad — teenchy @ 11:09 am

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Yesterday we finally found out what Gil’s been feeding Aaron – Purina Rat Chow. Today Gildeaux, the one-man crisis intervention squad, keeps moving the chains forward.* But to get to the goal of a healthy life for young Aaron, he seems determined to drive through the red zone of breaking up the Aagard nuclear family.

What next then for Aaron? Does he become the Thorps’ replacement child? Does Gil have a seven-day plan for him? Does this arc drag out into baseball season? Let’s hope not!

Show of hands: How many of you looked at P2 – especially the B&W version – and thought Tina Aagard was looking through her glasses through her hair a la Cousin Itt? Thought so.

*Yeah, I know football metaphor, so sue me.

March 16, 2017

If Gil Only Had the Nerve

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Yeah, you called me on it, Tina
I’m just a Milford wiener
Don’t coach, I just observe

But now I’ve started meddlin’
Someone’s got some Oxy’s peddlin’
Yeah, I got a lot of nerve

Phallic trophies I may brandish
Thanks to golden boy True Standish
Honors that I don’t deserve

But my team’s been gettin’ beaten
‘Cause your Aaron ain’t been eatin’
But I got a lotta nerve?

Now don’t be getting nervous
I’ll be calling Social Service(s)
‘Cause they’re only there to serve us
And we don’t all always get what we deserve…

Then you’re sure to lose your jobs,
Your car, your son. Some nerve!

(apologies Bert Lahr)

***

Reason I like the color version of the strip today: without it, I’d have thought the furniture was made of the same plaster as the walls.

Reason I don’t like the color version of the strip today: Who has skintone teeth outside of a low-budget Hanna-Barbera cartoon?* Maybe I’m wrong and those are just Tina’s badly cracked lips.

*Speaking of meddlin’

March 11, 2017

Come for the Gun Show, Stay for the Hypotheticals

Filed under: big arms, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 12:02 pm

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I know Kaz is on record as regretting getting his tat, but if it has the power to migrate from one arm to the other, it must be pretty special. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t had it removed. Not sure what’s got Gil lathered up more: Kaz’s gun show, his own puny bicep curls, or memories of Hobart, Bill “Wildcat” Maris or some other pains in the ass on the Booster Club/School Board who’ll try to meddle in his efforts to help Aaron get those three squares he so desperately needs.

After the workout it’s off to the shiny halls of Milford High, where Gil and the COUNSELOR continue to speak obtusely past each other about Tina Aagard. Maybe Tina’ll get some dinner (if not some jail time) out of the deal, too.

February 18, 2017

Ain’t No Answer in Me

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As expected, today’s installment reveals nothing except a potential physiological cause for Aaron’s inconsistent play: his horrible, horrible hip dysplasia.

What else to highlight? EES from some Milford rando, the usual shiny floors and Prairie Style windows, a couple other Milford randos shrinking back in fear from Raging Aaron? I’m going for Ken Brown’s nasty Gillette Fusion cut while maintaining his sideburns. Y’know, I’d kinda like to examine what Rubin’s done with Big Ken’s character over the past couple of seasons but I think that could get touchy. I think for now we can all agree that he’s been given feet of clay.

Post title came to me before anything else this morning. Rather than the more obvious invitation of comparisons between Gwen’s cover and the original, I thought of a more confrontational response.

November 21, 2016

D To The Uh

Filed under: Coach Shaw, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:19 am

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Heather Burns is a genius. Too bad Gil and Kaz didn’t stick around to hear the reveal.

The solution to this problem is to remember who your second and third string TEs were and maybe use them.

Who operates the camera to capture the video? They need some work on general camera pointing skills.

September 29, 2016

Beef on (Pel)weck(i)

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I don’t recall seeing the panel where The Secret Pelwecki told Gil he owed him a shot at QB just because he caused the fumble that gave the Mudlarks a shot to win the Oakwood game. I’m not gonna even try to come up with an analogy for that logic.

If Gil only knew that the new assistant trainer fancies herself The Quarterback Whisperer. He could let her work her magic on Kevin and help him realize his potential to come up big when it’s least expected. Gil needs to realize that his team’s winning the state championship two seasons ago rested entirely on the fluke of Art Standish finding a job in the Valley and Art’s son feeling most comfortable under Gil’s laissez-faire guidance. Maybe the fluke (or is that flake?) that is Pelwecki can lead his team back to the playdowns.

Speaking of flukes, as I write Wake Forest is 4-0!

metapost: I’m going to be traveling on Saturday morning and would be grateful if one of my fellow bloggers could step in for me. If not, it’ll be late in the day before I get a chance to post. Okay? Okay!

August 31, 2016

Ten ‘Libraries’ Filled With Remaindered Copies Of Go Set A Watchman…

Filed under: hideous scar faces, Just plain sad — timbuys @ 7:50 am

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I love how Ken and Bobby have just completely tuned True out while he rambles on about what’s her name in favor of talking smack about Barry and re-stating information already known to us.

Meanwhile, it seems that Tulane is getting 17 points against Wake tomorrow night. I like those odds!

August 13, 2016

Not Somebody Else’s Best Work, Either

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“Some of your teammates” = True Standish, the only one of your teammates I can be bothered to talk to.

I’m sure alert TWIMers have noticed during this arc that True has been periodically breaking the fourth wall with side eye, most recently yesterday.  It’s almost as if he’s begging to be taken away from Milford so he can get on with his life.  Now it’s Gil’s turn to break the fourth wall with a veiled cry for help: “Not my best work.”  Prisoner to this five-month-long baseball/softball/death and DUI arc, with not even so much as single pool- or patioside adult beverage break with Mimi?  Is Gil’s statement a reference to his usual lack of coaching coaching job, or the seeming inability of his creator to move things forward in this strip?  Talk amongst yourselves.

From the Pantheon of Mysterious Objects Dept.: Have we seen Kaz’s “BOB” mug before? Or is that a “BOO” Radley memorial mug? Is he playing blackjack with Gil, or guzzling moo shu pork straight from the takeout box without pancakes?

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