This Week in Milford

April 4, 2018

It Could Happen To You

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P1: Thanks for the exposition, Kaz. How much gel does Kaz have to use to get all of his sideburn hairs in parallel do y’all reckon?

P2: Is that even Paloma in the foreground hug with, uh, Karina I guess? Because the brunette in mid-panel looks closer to Paloma. Also, too, wasn’t this whole thing pretty much a Karina/Duncan joint with Jarrell ‘Spielberg’ Atkins directing?

P3: Jeeze, Mimi with a devastating toting the laundry walk by zinger. Meanwhile, Gil looks incredibly constipated as he just cannot deal with it that people keep bringing up this Marty Moon bullshit to him. It’s bad enough he has to show up at the games but he sure as hell didn’t sign up for talking about them for days afterwards.

Minus point: Karina has a terribly advanced case of trigger finger there in P2. Perhaps the Spring arc could help inform us about this potentially crippling condition and the plight of so afflicted high school athletes.

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March 28, 2018

I Had No Idea It Was Sweeps Week In Milford

Filed under: freak hands, huge earrings, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots, premature baldness — timbuys @ 9:43 am

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I feel duty bound to remark on behalf of my esteemed colleague, Rob, that any strip that has two mentions of the Milford Star without a drawing of Marjie Ducey is bullshit. Full stop.

That said, it would seem that, as improbably as we’ve all noted that it would be, the Milford Pirate Network has gone ‘viral’. And, you know what? Props to Pocket Square Sporting Radio Station Manager for being on the ball! This guy sees the needle moving in the wrong direction in the coveted Madison 13-18 year old demographic and he is on top of it.

Minus points: I wrote those last two sentences and then realized that the only reason Pocket Square is vaguely aware of this shit is because he is literally reading about it in a print newspaper… What in the name of Andy Travis is going on around here?

 

March 15, 2018

Why Does Dr. Pearl Hate Freedom?

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I don’t have bluebonnets to frolic through – maybe a crocus or two poking through the snow – but I can’t bring myself to analyze today’s strip. Seriously, what is this bullshit? Since when does a school need its sporting events broadcast? We already know that need is not universal. Does Marty have a pee tape of Dr. Pearl stashed somewhere? Or could there still be ramifications from that time Dr. Pearl had Marty’s sister shitcanned as the school counselor to settle a lawsuit that arose from Marty’s sister giving Marty fake news that he used to derail a coach’s career?

Something tells me Dr. Pearl refers to the Civil War as “the late unpleasantness” and would be one of those school officials who would threaten disciplinary action for school protesters, no matter how peaceful. She treats the students like second-class citizens, not unlike Puerto Ricans. (Yeah, I went there.) I’m going to hold out the tiniest thread of hope that Gil’s “But what if…” cliffhanger will give the kids an out to continue protesting Marty. Probably with posters, knowing that just like raised fists they can’t be heard on the radio.

March 14, 2018

Ad Guys, Plural?

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I’m off to go frolic amongst bluebonnets in the Texas Hill Country. I’ll leave y’all to parse the rest of this.

March 10, 2018

Goodnight Moon*

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Goodnight room
Goodnight Moon
Goodnight fans shouting over the Moon
Goodnight light
And the racist goon
Goodnight game
“Goodnight”? Lame
Goodnight Padillas
Oh, goodnight? See ya!
Goodnight job
And goodnight slob
Goodnight little house
And goodnight souse
Goodnight Gil
And goodnight (W)DIG
Goodnight nobody
Goodnight pig
And goodnight to your shot at another gig
Goodnight scars
Goodnight hair
Good night Mudlarks everywhere

*apologies M. W. Brown

 

 

March 8, 2018

Join In the Chant

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I love it that Paloma’s all up in Marty’s grill; too bad Exploding Spittle Syndrome is not a thing. Still I’m a little disappointed in the chant. “Muzzle Marty” is a four-syllable phrase. Why aren’t the protesters using the “clap clap clap-clap-clap” cadence? You’d think they know it since “Mudlarks” is a two-syllable nickname.

Raised fists make for good visuals but they can’t be heard on the radio. Maybe since they’re not in the cheap seats they think they can just rattle their jewelry.

What four-syllable chant would you have the Milford crowd do? Keeping it clean so WDIG doesn’t pull the plug (although Marty’s think-skinned ass may just do it for spite, the station manager may think any ratings are good ratings). “Fuck you Marty” or “Un pendejo” are right out.

Inspiration for today’s post title:

 

March 5, 2018

15 Fans And What Do You Get?

Filed under: basketball, huge earrings — nedryerson @ 6:46 am

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Well, I don’t know about you, but today’s strip has inspired me. I am ready to rock!

The first panel is actually visually arresting. I don’t know if it’s the geometrical precision or the use of negative space or what, but it sets the tone nicely. I would like to point out that the rise of the bleachers seems a bit too gradual for your standard high school gymnasium. It’s a shame, because given where we’re headed here, the closer we have multiple rows of people packed behind the scorer’s table, the more this scenario could turn into Thunderdome.

Duncan Levin seems to be leading the way. Good work saving seats (that nobody seems interested in to begin with) Duncan. He managed to shoo everybody away from those primo seats until tip off, so Paloma and Karina just shuffle in and take their places. Seems a little casual, but that’s why they keep Duncan around.

Milford is up early and the game begins! I’d love to go back to that wide perspective of the first panel and see all seats empty except for a cluster of people behind Marty breathing down his neck and listening intently to see what he’s saying.

 

March 3, 2018

Mo’ Better Lady Mudlarks

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And what happened, then? Well, in Milford they say – that Karina’s small nose grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Milford came through, and Karina found strength of *ten* Marties, plus two!

Come on, Chief, stay on model! Saturday’s cliffhanger leaves us wondering how the Lady Mudlarks will protest Marty Moon at the Milford boys’ game and how of-of-sync with today’s realities that protest will be. Rather than speculate on that, I’ll focus on the little details that keep us coming back for more:

P1: Paloma’s super freaky giant left hand (no wonder that phone looked so tiny when she held it) is par for the course, but I must say I appreciate how Whigham has drawn the girls’ hair. Such shine and volume! Breck Girl Darwin would be proud.

P2: Karina comes not only with a giant schnozz but also with pre-skinned knuckles.

P3: We never saw the end of the Milford @ Jefferson game but we know now that the Mudlarks lost. No burritos for Jorge, then?  That might explain the fridge raid and the fridge-side pizza menu.

PP2-3: Karina’s and Paloma’s upper lips remind me of the top half of the old Hartford Whalers logo. Gives me a great excuse to fire up some “Brass Bonanza.”

†Happy belated birthday T. S. Geisel!

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