This Week in Milford

June 21, 2018

Poor Poor Pitiful Del

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Abandoning analysis of the absurdities that let a high school student have a conjugal visit with meet and interview an inmate to whom she is not related, let’s focus on what’s being said instead.  Dafne’s casual side eye can only mean one thing: “Now I know where Barry gets it from.”  Nothing is ever the fault of Bader père et fils.

Del’s prison ‘do reminds me of someone else’s but I’m not sure whose. Anyone?  He started sporting a variation of it while he was in county lockup awaiting sentencing.  Del’s lawyer pretty much sucked there, but did clue Del in that he was most certainly not the victim.  So just what kind of bad publicity has Del been getting?  Has anyone else written about him in the Trumpet, the Milford Star, or the Industrial Solvent Sales Monthly?  Sandra Bader been badmouthing him in her Tinder profile?

Since Thursdays have become Rock ‘n Roll Thursdays here in TWIM land, the commentariat will appreciate the inspiration for today’s post.

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June 13, 2018

Coaches Want Travelers And Campers

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 6:12 am

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P1: About College ball… You’ve never come across as the scholarly type, so why not try out for the Central City Boxmakers? They play exhibition games for beer money and seem about on your level. Last I heard, Slim Chance was picking up cleanup innings in between gigs at local county fairs.

P2: Besides, coaches want kids who have enriched them over the years through the provision of free (amateur) labor and camp tuition. They especially like it when they’ve had the chance to groom these kids away from their parents. Then again, if anyone on the team could use some groomin’… Maybe at least buy you a scrunchy or something.

P3: And after an almost interminable lecture on the walk from the locker room to the field, none of this gets through to Kevin. I’m going to have to assume that Kaz has some bluetooth buds plugged in and is jamming out to the greatest hits the early twenty-first century has to offer.

Bonus Points: I award none today.

June 6, 2018

Frost/Nixon This Isn’t

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Barry probably should’ve taken one of his mom’s Ativans before this interview.

Speaking of, did Ma Bader ever even come back with DD’s diet soda, er, ice water? The depictions of single moms in this strip, with the possible exception of Judge Hiatt,* are almost uniformly negative. What gives I wonder?

That said, I question why DD is leaning in in panel two and then throws BB a lifeline.

Bonus points:

P1: Rare double exploding eyeballs.

P2: Do the kids these days still use notebooks? Do the reporters?

P3: “Everyone thinks you’re a jerk. Do you think you’ve become more of a jerk?”

* As Billy points out Judge Hiatt is not actually single, which I think bolsters my point.

May 30, 2018

Making Things Worse

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I’m struggling to grasp anyone’s motivations here other than, perhaps, Ma Bader’s. Well, I suppose Barry’s motivation is that he’s a hot headed moron* with self esteem issues but that doesn’t make for the most compelling protagonist. At least not as written here…

Bonus points:

P1: Ah, the rare ANDS brand laptop, disfavored by Milford teens who prefer |||| brand computers. I’ll leave speculation as to the nature of the mysterious foreground display to our wonderful commenters.

P2: I’m digging the Bader’s mismatched chairs at their tiny kitchen table underneath the chandelier they stole from a TGI Friday’s. Also, Steve Luhm has clearly been moonlighting.

P3: I’m sure I’ve floated some truly idiotic ideas in front of my mom over the years but I don’t think I’ve ever given her occasion to give me such an exaggerated (and presumably genuine) stinkeye.

* Seriously, ‘enoblers’?

Metapost: As this year’s Memorial Day celebrations recede into memory, please bear in mind the veterans who surely number amongst this count.

May 2, 2018

Another Strip, Another 20 More Just Like It

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P1: So, wait, Gil is not only sold on the launch angles thing, he’s taking time away from drinking to help Kevin practice? Not believable.

P2: Pics or it didn’t happen, Gil.

P3: Who is shagging these balls? Kaz? Coach Shaw? Jaquan Case after his team was eliminated in the playoffs?

Questionable Points: What’s with the hankie hanging off Kevin’s trousers in P1? Is that a thing these days of which I am blessedly unaware?

Seriously, I know what all of those words in P2 mean, but it sure comes across as mumbo jumbo for a high school senior who hasn’t really featured much on the team to this point.

20? Sure, why not 30? Oh yeah, Happy Hour ends at five.

April 25, 2018

Doing It Wrong, Unfortunately

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P1: No offense to his real world namesake intended, but I did not realize that we were really signing up for another tour with the Secret. Originally, I didn’t mind him too much but now it seems he’s gunning to be another Milford High huckster with this launch angle foolishness. How a calculator would figure into his scheme is beyond me.

P2: Nothing like sitting around talking about what people said for excitement and adventure. Are the two young women in back having to share a milk shake?

P3: Is there some sort of corollary to the Bechdel test where the female characters just sit there and watch the male characters talk? I know we keep hammering on that point but, c’mon, Whigrub didn’t even give them their own drinks nevermind dialogue. Regardless, I like that Freckles here answers the question of what is Barry’s story by telling Spike McWidow’s Peak* about his story and not, oh say, the story iteself. Oh well, tune in tomorrow when we revisit one of the more distasteful story arcs in some time.

* Wait, I just realized that’s supposed to be Jorge…

April 22, 2018

Vaya con carne, Martín Luna

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This has to have gone down as the Gil Thorp arc with the least amount of actual sports action ever. It also has to be near the top of arcs requiring the greatest suspension of disbelief. On top of all we’ve had to choke down around Marty, Pirate Boy and the Milford Pirate Network (does one station constitute a network?), now we’re supposed to believe that WDIG has at least three studios? Couldn’t at least one of them held Marty’s substitute, re-creating the basketball games Ronald Reagan style while Marty was suspended?

Marty played his traditional role of designated heel, between making light of the Padillas’ life situation, the gratuitous Mexican food references (intended to woo a potential sponsor but interpreted as “Puerto Ricans/Mexicans are all alike and their cultures all the same”) and the mispronunciation/pissy over-pronunciation in response to criticism. But really, Gil doesn’t come off as much less of a schmuck either. True, he couldn’t have anticipated the tack the MPN took on covering Milford hoops – nor Marty’s blue response to them – but he did in effect goad them on to goad Marty on. His ham-handed efforts at negotiation showed how little he thinks of Milford girls’ basketball and required us to connect the dots and assume Marty’s suspension would turn into termination if Marty didn’t accede.

Finally, Gil’s little dig at Marty in the last panel (yet another in which characters depart via a doorway), meant to remind Marty of the Boricua culture of which he is so ignorant, comes off a bit dickish as well. I’ll admit I like the idea of Marty as Scooby-Doo villain, but wouldn’t that mean he’s actually somebody else under a rubber mask? My money’s on Dr. Pearl.

April 18, 2018

Why Is Paloma Standing Behind Gil’s Desk?

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I mean, other than to gratuitously fit her in the frame. Really, Panel Three concisely symbolizes the whole approach of this arc. I’m not even entirely sure what the heck Jorge is talking about when he says Gil ‘might’ be right.

Fortunately, Gil’s not really listening as he strains his neck to make sure Paloma doesn’t clock him with her standard Milford High issue stack of text books.

Minus points: Sartorially, things seem out of whack. We have Mimi in a skirt (!) and long scarf, Gil going from wearing a jacket to short sleeves, and I don’t even want to begin to figure out all the ways Paloma is not dressed like a teenager.

 

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