This Week in Milford

October 10, 2018

Kaz Has More Balls Than Joe…

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… and that’s all I have to say about that.

Seriously, what kind of bullshit rationale is that for joining the team?  What can Kaz and Gil expect out of this kid Joe?  With such a short attention span, who’s to say Bolek won’t wander off just when the Mudlarks need him to punt a ball away? He can’t even be bothered to stick around to see the end of the game. (Here’s where I break the fourth wall for a moment to ask TWIM‘s unofficial SID billytheskink how many times we’ve been shown a Milford football game without knowing who won.)

I could be bothered to supply a rationale for Joe – for example, he’d seen enough of Milford’s bad, non-Sam Finn punting to know that the team needed him – but why should I come up with an excuse for him? He’s gonna need enough excuses for himself when his teammates stuff him in a locker for not coming out and busting his hump in practice from the beginning of the season.

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October 3, 2018

I came here to snark on bad coaching, not to become a cineaste!

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Kaz and Joe stood there and looked at each other in silence for five minutes?  That settles it: Kaz is not salaried faculty or staff but hourly contingent labor. In any universe even remotely based in reality a coach might have given a student 5 seconds – okay, 10 seconds if we’re being generous – to answer before telling them to get out of their office the hallway and go to their next period class, or catch a school bus, or whatever.

As with The Legend of Bagger Vance, I’m not going to rehash the plot of Rififi here. The Wikipedia entry for the film states that “[a]fter he was blacklisted from Hollywood, [Director Jules] Dassin found work in France where he was asked to direct Rififi. Despite his distaste for parts of the original novel, Dassin agreed to direct the film. He shot Rififi while working with a low budget, without a star cast, and with the production staff working for low wages.” Low budget? No stars? Staff working for low wages? We could be talking about the Mudlark football team and its coaching staff.

I’d be okay with the next 28 panels of this strip having no dialogue and just action. You?

 

metapost: Do any of you loyal readers read TWIM on a smartphone?  I compose it on a Dell laptop with AdBlock Plus installed, but usually read comments during the day on an Android phone. Often when I do, I get spammy popup ads telling “Dear Andriod User” that I have won something or other and which I cannot close or navigate away from without closing my browser.  If anyone else is having those problems, please comment (I mean, in addition to any snark) so we can get to the bottom of this. Thanks.

September 29, 2018

If Joe Is Rannulph, Then Who Is Bagger?

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Well, that’s not the movie I expected Joe Bolek to be talking about.

I honestly struggled with this post for a couple of hours, as Rubin’s analogy – or, rather, my interpretation of Rubin’s analogy – has made me a little uncomfortable.  Without rehashing the entire plot of The Legend of Bagger Vance (or The Mahabharata) here, suffice it to say that the film was roundly criticized for its reliance on the stereotype of The Magical Negro.  If Joe sees himself in the Rannulph Junuh/Arjuna role, who does he see as his Bagger Vance?

Andre Ruffin, who told him that the Mudlarks need a punter? Andre’s the only identifiably black player we’ve seen in the arc thus far, but his role has been more a conduit of information rather than a guy who makes things happen or a stern member of the judiciary.  Kaz, who’s trying to convince him to come punt for them?  Since Joe calls Kaz “Mr. K” and not “Coach K,” I don’t think Joe can go for Kaz being his mentor. Besides, Joe’s already been clued in about the Mudlarks’ punting woes and has probably concluded that no one on the Milford coaching staff can properly coach a punter.

Maybe, then, it’s Joe who sees himself as Bagger Vance: a godlike sage who will teach some hapless Mudlark the fine art of punting, asking for nothing in return but the opportunity to analyze game film. Next thing you know, we’ll see him down by Rosemary and Cameron, handing out The Bhagavad Gita.

September 26, 2018

Save Filion

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Today’s missing panel 4:

Kaz (chasing Andre Ruffin down the hall because, unlike Gil, he doesn’t have the power to pull kids out of class): Who’s this punter Mike Filion told me you know about?

Andre Ruffin: Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw him pass out at Schultz’s Polynesian Garden last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Who is this imposter claiming to be Mike Filion, anyway? Whigham needs to find a model for Filion and stick with it.  No matter how he looks, Filion has smarts enough to throw Kaz off his scent.  He saw that shitshow unfold in Oakwood and wants no part of it. Maybe he’s no unicorn in football cleats but he knows that one roughing the kicker call (and I wouldn’t put it past Valley Tech to try it) and Milford’s out a starting QB.

Anyone wanna bet that the kid who used to be pretty good at punting is movie buff Joe Bolek? Yeah, didn’t think so.

 

July 11, 2008

Smell ya later…

Filed under: kaz-bot, metapost — jasbeattie @ 9:30 am

Jason is away for the weekend…and KAZ-BOT is too damned lazy to write anything. So if you’re so inclined, just mosey on over to check out the latest comic, and then write a little something about what ya read. Or just come back Tuesday, if you’re the lazy type too. Smell ya later, folks.

April 26, 2008

KAZ-BOT’s alright for fighting

Filed under: kaz-bot — jasbeattie @ 10:00 am

Jason has left the safe confines of the blog-o-sphere for a few days. In his absence the recently paroled automatic Gil Thorp blogging robot KAZ-BOT will be filling in! 

KAZ-BOT works even harder at not working on Saturdays.

April 25, 2008

KAZ-BOT is running low on schnapps

Filed under: kaz-bot — jasbeattie @ 8:30 am

Jason has left the safe confines of the blog-o-sphere for a few days. In his absence the recently paroled automatic Gil Thorp blogging robot KAZ-BOT will be filling in! 

KAZ-BOT would be concerned that Jason has yet to return, but then KAZ-BOT remembered…KAZ-BOT doesn’t mind mooching all Jason’s booze while he’s gone. Also, KAZ-BOT’s parole stipulated not leaving the country with Jason on his fact-finding mission to Ecuador.

April 24, 2008

KAZ-BOT has a posse

Filed under: google nonsense, kaz-bot — jasbeattie @ 8:30 am

Jason has left the safe confines of the blog-o-sphere for a few days. In his absence the recently paroled automatic Gil Thorp blogging robot KAZ-BOT will be filling in! 

KAZ-BOT just googled “KAZ-BOT” and discovered there are eerily other KAZ-BOTs out there. Including MySpace KAZ-BOT and reading KAZ-BOT. At least all KAZ-BOTs share similar interests, such as beer, global conflict and track jackets.

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