This Week in Milford

December 7, 2018

Long way to go to see a movie eh?

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Kelly Krystek — robmize2013 @ 9:27 pm

This has to be Kaz’s girlfriend Kelly Krystek. She appears to have gained a bit of weight since we saw her last ( at least 2 Christmases ago). Guess shes a good cook. Is that the sun behind her? Or some random poster of a foreign country?

I was in the Greek Islands in 2012 on a 10-day cruise of 3 countries, and we started in Venice, Italy. I recall taking a picture of a menu at one of the many outdoor dining establishments in the city, and the owner ratting me out for ‘stealing’ his menu, even though I made it clear I was only a tourist and not trying to take his business away. But he basically said, if your gonna take a pic of my menu, eat here too. He said it in Italian but I got the message. Next time we walked by his place we made it a point to walk on the other side of the river (that runs through the whole city). I saw him outside, gazing around for more cameras to yell about. I felt like riding a gondola and yelling ‘Hey mister! Smile!’

So now Kelly enters the fray, and …dont we have 2 more football games to play before Christmas? Rubin goes off on a tangent all the time and forgets about sports for 2 weeks; thats why the seasons last longer then War and Peace. Then its “Wrap it up in a day by playing 2 games and eliminating Milf from another playdown appearance. ”

And this all started with a punting problem.

October 27, 2018

Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Kelly and Her Monkey

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People have spoken

The constraint will be applied

Through football season

 

I was hoping for

More about one of the best

Anti-war films ever made

 

Like whether Gil

Would kill every tenth Mudlark

To improve morale

 

Maybe Joe Bolek

Will desert the football team

Become private dick

 

Or realize

That his teammate’s personal

Life’s not his business

 

But no! Quick cut to

Coach Kaz’s private dojo

Where he flips burgers

 

Self-deprecation

Of his cineastic skill

Does not become him

 

Kaz could just fake it

IMDB is your friend

Brush up on Kubrick

 

What Kelly Krystek

Does with Kaz’s organ is

Not for family strip

 

Well there you have it

The first of several haiku

In the near future

 

I must admit

Downpuppy’s sonnet option

Piques my interest

 

 

 

December 25, 2017

Time Out

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Here we go. Rick Soto is walking in to this improbable confrontation to put the final nail in Uncle Gary’s coffin. The only way this would be interesting is if it’s not Rick, but the guy whose couch Gary slept on rent free for months. That couch was expensive and Gary’s gonna pay!

That’s all neither here nor there. It’s time for the Christmas greeting. It looks like Kelly and Bob get to participate this year. It’s only fitting as it was Kelly’s internet ninja skills that finally nudged this stupid plot from it’s endless torpor. As far as the Thorp kids go, just forget about them. They’re never coming back.

Merry Christmas everyone.

 

December 20, 2017

Gil Thorp – Ventriloquist?

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OK, Rubin, you got me to google “Internet Ninja.”

It so happens that I am rather familiar with many regional and national dialects of English and also with the many different ways it sounds when spoken as a second language. With all respect due to the entrant, that doesn’t sound like it was written by someone remotely familiar with idiomatic English.

Panel Two takes the cake for inanity. Why talk about ‘all that’ Kelly found when you can talk about whether it took her a long time or a short time and when she managed to find the time… Meanwhile, is that an aged Han Solo in the background of this stylish pub with its exposed brick walls and industrial grade window muntins?

I’ve never seen a ventriloquist act in person. Can they really do that trick? I mean, just how persuasive is the illusion in the presence of the performer as opposed to watching on TV? I gotta hand it to him, I did not foresee witnessing this side of Gil. Day drinking? But of course. Vaudevillianism? Well, I guess he did have that act with Herc the Mauler.

December 19, 2017

So, Does That Make Uncle Gary An Internet Pirate?

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Oh boy is Panel One ever so helpful in bringing us all up to speed. Thanks for the refresher Whigrub. Little Ricky’s bald spot seems to have migrated to the side of his head so that will bear monitoring I suppose.

I would like to point out all of the things which astound me about Panel Two but there’s no time as one’s attention is immediately captured by the magnificent bricks of the Ioan Anderson Travel agency. Besides which I believe the quoted text is more hilarious than anything which I’m likely to conceive.

Bonus commenter challenge: Identify each spectacular vacation vista beckoning to the odd passerby who might, on the spur of the moment, step into the office and embark on the voyage of a lifetime far from dreary and dilapidated Milford.

Metapost: We don’t have a tag and I can’t recall Kelly’s last name but this post should be tagged for her.  (I almost slipped and created a tag with a former colleague’s last name which was alliterative with her first name. Gonna guess that person doesn’t read the blog but still…)

Update: Tag for Kelly Krystek added thanks to the always reliable Maintainer of the Milford .xlsx, billytheskink!

Inspiration for today’s post title.

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