This Week in Milford

July 6, 2018

Too bad we’ll never see this story

Filed under: big arms, Chunky Bracelets, Gil Thorp, lame jokes — robmize2013 @ 6:13 pm

Milford goes modern, as Gil and Mimi read the Bader story in the Trumpet on their smartphones. How theyre already dressed and ready to go at 6:04 am is implausible, but since this strip never shows people in pajamas, I guess its SOP.

P2 shows Dafnes hotness – tight black shirt with short sleeves showing off her guns.. I love how both she and her friend both have 3 bracelets on opposite wrists so they all show as theyre fist-bumping.  Hopefully now that the story is out they can go about letting these kids out of school before summers over..

P3 Dafne says it should be safe? Will the story explode off the newspaper if it isnt? I would think that after all this time and energy it would (again) be edited and approved by Miss RisqK. Whats Daf worried about? And why did she have to call the Baders and tell em what she’s writing? I guess we’re in for one last surprise before this story is a (fish)wrap.  Methinks Del will get out of jail early because of what he said in the story, Barry will turn into a happy person because of it, and everything will be all right as we waltz into the sunset.

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June 1, 2018

I vote to cancel “Pelwecki”

Filed under: baseball, Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 4:11 pm

Really? On June 1st, we have high school kids sitting around talking about the future of some dude who’s overstayed his welcome longer then Roseanne was on the air.

Does the balding guy really hit Kevin in the head with the check? Wish I could read some of it. A doctor couldnt write worse.

Again, its June 1st, and Kevin is THINKING about getting a scholarship, to what? AND GIL STILL THINKS ITS TOO EARLY!!! Yaaash. Its the colleges decision to AWARD a scholorship to Academically qualified students, emphasis on Academically. How on earth does this mope with a mop think just because he knows all that shit about launch angles all of a sudden he’s on his way to Arizona State and the College World Series for free?? How’s he doing in class? Who knows? I’m sure even he hasnt looked at a book since March, so busy rubbing his magic bat is he. I guess we’re stuck with this crap till August, because it’ll take that long to finish the season and Maybe, Maybe, graduate before Labor Day.

But we dont have to worry about Roseanne. As I mentioned before, her new show got cancelled, and I couldnt care less. I havent given a rats ass about her since that night in San Diego when she put on a singing performance for the ages. I didnt watch the first version of the show either; John Goodman was best known to me as The Babe in the worst movie ever made, and the daughter (who had the idea for the show revival) was kinda cute with her ripped jeans, but otherwise the show was non- existent in my world. But since she’s got more free time, how about singing the anthem at a Mudlarks game this summer? Couldnt be any worse then these storylines. A one, a two, a three….

 

May 28, 2018

You’re a difference maker all right…

Filed under: actual action, Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Pissy Faced Barry Bader, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 10:22 am

What did I say about all the pitches being straight as a string? I used to visit a place where they had pitching machines and the balls wern’t this straight. There was a shed behind one of the cages and I hit one ball so hard it went through the protective net behind the cage and bounced off the roof of the shed. I felt like I hit the batting cage jackpot. Try that at home folks!

It was 97 out here yesterday, and Bader is sporting long sleeves. Must be afraid of mosquitos or skin cancer, one or the other. What a royal pain in the ass to have in your dugout. I’ll take the mosquitos over this mope.

Feel free to add on-  I’m heading to my local pool for a swim. Happy holiday!

May 18, 2018

Annnnnnd theyre off!

Filed under: actual action, baseball, lame jokes — robmize2013 @ 8:44 pm

Milford hosts Derby https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derby_High_School_(Kansas) on what looks like a dry track, unlike the real Kentucky Derby, which was run in slop. I would think a school called Derby would be located in Kentucky, but Kansas is enough of a bus ride eh? Pelwecki makes an offensive contribution with his bat, which is better then his offensive contribution with his mouth. He informs Mikey Filion how close his long fly ball was to going yard. I guess we  have to listen to his launch angle crap til either he graduates (please?) or he is launched himself to the moon. (Not Marty Moon.) Who the hell holds their bat in the dugout after their at bat? Pelwecki should hang himself in the bat rack and let his bat do the talking….

Of course Mikey joins in the nonsense in Kevins next at bat;hey, at least he’s hitting with men on. If the batting order from the opener is used again, Mike is properly still in the dugout; he would be batting 4 places later, although we still havent figured out the missing 5th batter

My dad was in the army during WW2 and he told me KP stands for Kitchen Police. I’m good with that name for Pelwecki. He can clean up all the bull he’s been feeding the team…

Maybe tomorrow Kevin will go yard for a 3-dinger and we can enjoy his preening over the weekend. Myself, I’d rather watch the Derby again on rerun for 2 days straight. But I have the Preakness and the Royal Wedding in my way. May the best horse win!

 

 

 

April 28, 2018

The Secret Pelwecki’s Other Balls

Filed under: actual action, baseball, big arms, Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, lame jokes — teenchy @ 11:59 am

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Well I guess it’s a good thing we had yesterday’s strip to get us all speculative and stuff. Today it’s just more of The Secret Pelwecki, desperate for stardom when he’s not trying to be the fifth-string quarterback/fullback/astronaut/whatever. Why do I get the feeling that every other arc for the next several years will feature Pelwecki as a red herring, trying and failing at every new thing he hears about?

There’s really nothing else to say about this, except that I’m always mildly surprised to see Milford athletes practicing in what look like game uniforms. Nice day here for once; think I’m gonna go outside and enjoy it while I can. I suggest you do the same if you can.

April 22, 2018

Vaya con carne, Martín Luna

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This has to have gone down as the Gil Thorp arc with the least amount of actual sports action ever. It also has to be near the top of arcs requiring the greatest suspension of disbelief. On top of all we’ve had to choke down around Marty, Pirate Boy and the Milford Pirate Network (does one station constitute a network?), now we’re supposed to believe that WDIG has at least three studios? Couldn’t at least one of them held Marty’s substitute, re-creating the basketball games Ronald Reagan style while Marty was suspended?

Marty played his traditional role of designated heel, between making light of the Padillas’ life situation, the gratuitous Mexican food references (intended to woo a potential sponsor but interpreted as “Puerto Ricans/Mexicans are all alike and their cultures all the same”) and the mispronunciation/pissy over-pronunciation in response to criticism. But really, Gil doesn’t come off as much less of a schmuck either. True, he couldn’t have anticipated the tack the MPN took on covering Milford hoops – nor Marty’s blue response to them – but he did in effect goad them on to goad Marty on. His ham-handed efforts at negotiation showed how little he thinks of Milford girls’ basketball and required us to connect the dots and assume Marty’s suspension would turn into termination if Marty didn’t accede.

Finally, Gil’s little dig at Marty in the last panel (yet another in which characters depart via a doorway), meant to remind Marty of the Boricua culture of which he is so ignorant, comes off a bit dickish as well. I’ll admit I like the idea of Marty as Scooby-Doo villain, but wouldn’t that mean he’s actually somebody else under a rubber mask? My money’s on Dr. Pearl.

March 31, 2018

Pining for the fjords? No, just for some actual sports action

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Oh look, Pirate Boy Levin finally got his puffy shirt, and just as Seinfeld was a show about nothing, this has become a plot about nothing.

It’s just become a mockery on so many levels it’s ceased to even be funny. The whole idea of the alternative broadcast was to compete with the WDIG broadcast and to protest Marty’s culturally insensitive references to Jorge Padilla via occasional outbursts. The outbursts haven’t been protests so much as snark; only Pirate Boy has even brought up the Pirate Network’s reason for being. And competitive? There’s been zero effort to make this anything but a bunch of goofy, childish antics. “Sportsball” is what people who are contemptuous of sports (and the people who play them) call sports. By playing up this angle, Pirate Boy & co. are as disrespectful to Jorge in their own way as Marty has been in his.

I dunno. Maybe I was expecting MPN to play the games a little straighter, showing some sensitivity to the Padillas’ situation and calling Marty out for his lack of same. Maybe Pirate Boy will hit Marty with that stick on Monday, but I’m not holding my breath.

March 23, 2018

Repeat after me – I am a moron

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, lame jokes, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 7:08 pm

And the strip gets bogged down into repetitive stuff we saw yesterday as Pirate Boy continues his ‘Tubecast’ to … who knows. Maybe the Bucket picks this up on its one TV it has behind the counter. We were going along just fine and now like a crap that wont come out, we’re stuck watching a clown in a pirate hat wonder what he does next after inciting Marty to call him exactly what he is.

Why is Marty standing now? Last game and all the others he was sitting. I know theyre on the road but for chisssakes give the man a seat. Standing is for TV analysts like .. pirate guy . Ah forget it.

P3 – who knows why the MPN is showing on top of the main attraction; I personally find it more attractive then a guy in a pirate hat trying to be funny. I get it – the Pirate Network ‘steals’ someone elses broadcast and makes it their own – but one is a radio show and the other is on YouTube, a visual medium. And the Buc doesnt even know the score of the game, which in my experience is no biggie. Most fans these days are watching their smartphones instead of intently following the action.  But a scoreboard isnt That hard to read now is it?

Advancing the plot tomorrow wont be easy  -what will we see besides the score? Will Marty walk out again? Will the girls social media overdrive effort be rewarded with a Moon removal from the radio? Will Gil get involved before its too late to save the season? Will Kaz punch out Marty before he can break the pirates neck? Will the Joker appear and destroy everything in Milford City and capture the pirate and his mate?  Tune in tomorrow – same Milford time, same Milford station!

 

 

 

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