This Week in Milford

December 22, 2018

Won’t Quit? Seems Legit

gt12222018

Okay, so Milford ran into a buzzsaw of a non-conference opponent in its season opener and lost by double digits. Taken in isolation, yeah, they got their stuff handed to them but in the bigger picture of a basketball season it’s not the end of the world. You learn from your mistakes and apply them to the next game. You can still win your conference and make the playdowns.

Even a mediocre coach like Gil can be given a pass on this one, which makes his extended mea culpa to Marjie a bit odd. Marjie quotes Gil verbatim in the next day’s Milford Star, which is digested over coffee by Bobby Howry the Elder (which he will be tagged until otherwise renamed) who obviously thinks otherwise.

What Bobby’s next Burma Shave billboard will read is today’s cliffhanger.  Bobby’s revenge campaign may be to get Gil canned, but to what end?  He might think he’s better qualified to coach the Mudlarks after his stint at the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER but there’s that little matter of drug dealing that may keep him out of the job.

 

New tag today: Coffee Cantina, the second most popular meeting place in Milford outside The Bucket.

 

Advertisements

December 21, 2018

Late rush? Go to Denny’s.

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Marjie Ducey, oversize objects — robmize2013 @ 8:49 pm

And I get to describe the ball again being too large for the basket, hence the Cold shooting. Why travel that far and use beachballs? P1 has 2 different squares behind the net. One is short and square, the other is longer and more rectangular. Artist error # 234.

A late rush? If  outscoring a team thats blowing you out 11-6 in garbage time when they clear the benches is a late rush, I’m joining Phi Slamma Jamma.

And its Margie D again in P3, warming our hearts on a cold winters night (yes its the first day of winter), gazing at Gil as if he’s nuts with his remark that they didnt give up. Brian Ulmer is not only the best center you will face, he’s also a man without one.

https://provider.stvincent.org/details/545/brian-ulmer-internal_medicine-indianapolis

 

December 19, 2018

Warriors! Come out to play-ay!

gt12192018

The Arapaho(e) are a Native American tribe of the Great Plains. Arapahoe High School, near Denver, unfortunately made national news almost five years ago to this day for a shooting which left one student dead and the shooter taking his own life.

Well, after that bit of cheer to start off our day, let’s dive in to the traditional Mouseketeer Roll Call of the roster.  This time it’s Marty who’s doing the roll call, as it appears that Marjie whipped out the pepper spray on Gil once he started becoming too much of a close talker.  “Sorry, Mr. Coach Thorp, mediocre may be good enough for Mrs. Coach Thorp, but it’s not good enough for me.”

Marginal Mike Filion and Nosey Parker Andre Ruffin form the backcourt. The starting forwards are seventh-year senior Paul Beaudry and – wait, what?  Is Jorge Padilla still in Milford?  How did Marty pronounce his name? (I’m guessing correctly given Moon’s chastened, pissy look on his face.)  Have the Padillas not moved back to Puerto Rico or at least Georgia?  Rubin dropped the ball bigly on the Padilla story last winter, and I doubt he’ll be picking it up again now.

Nope, my guess is that when we’re not delving into the mystery of Two Billboards Outside Milford or watching Filion having me time in his bedroom, we’ll get some minor focus on “scrawny,” “lanky” center Marcell Irby (thanks to whom I can’t stop thinking of Jerry Clower, which probably says more about me than Rubin) and his struggles in the paint.  Burly Rick Soto will probably sub for Marcell after he gets banged around and Milford will lose any height advantage it may have had.

Arapahoe’s sports teams* are called the Warriors, a perfect setup for Milford’s nerdy cutesy snarky student body.  Maybe Ernie from My Three Sons and the Milford Pirate Network can lead the fans in the chant.

 

 

 

 

*Colorado high school basketball teams participate in playoffs, not playdowns.

September 5, 2018

In the Opener, I’ll Take the Mudlarks and 8 1/2

gt09052018

Man, the last thing I want to read in Gil Thorp is Kaz talking about Kelly’s sexual proclivities.  Oh, wait, he said Fellini. Never mind.

Does an awkward fist bump qualify as a “High Five Fail”?  Today, I’m calling that it does.

Quick cut to the practice field and there’s Marjie with her canister of pepper spray. Mouseketeer Roll Call will begin tomorrow and Joe Bolek will get namechecked along with a few other of Rubin’s friends.  Something tells me Bolek will flop as a ballplayer, or suffer a season-ending injury, and replace Kaz as the “film guru” on the Mudlark coaching staff.  Then he can tell Gil what kind of wacky leather-helmet era formation he can spring on the Valley Conference to make up for the usual fundamental shortcomings that plague the Milford football program.

Hold up: is that Marty standing next to Gil and Marjie?  Looks like he’s still taking hits from that tall can of STFU Gil gave him at the end of basketball season.  Let’s see how long that lasts.

July 11, 2018

Meanwhile Barry Bader Is Posting Angry Rants To Youtube

071118

And Gil hasn’t even noticed his absence from… practice? I guess? Shouldn’t Kevin be getting rejected as a QB from the local 7 on 7 teams?

Panel one: As I don’t understand the difference, with respect to baseball teams, between D-II and JuCo (and can’t be bothered to research it), I’m going to guess Gil did the ‘right’ thing in steering Ryan to D-II. Of course this is the second or third time we’ve even mentioned Ryan’s recruitment even though he’s a hard throwing lefty so… another job well done by all involved.

Panel two: “On the other hand, if he hurts his arm, they’ll drop him like a rock and he’ll end up pumping gas at the station outside of whatever town D-II School is in.”

Panel three: “What about The Secret?” “I suspect people will be asking why we’re still talking about that guy for the rest of our lives (of reading Gil Thorp).”

Minus point: What exactly is even going on today? Seriously, at this point I’d almost be OK going down to Milford Country Club to watch Gil ruin the game of golf for a bunch of preadolescents.

June 19, 2018

Great Moments In Milford Journalism

Are not depicted in the above. Please stay tuned in for the inimitable T. Drew Hardin’s commentary coming right up!

In the meantime, please feel free to fire away.

Minus points: Since when did Marjie adopt the poking out ear look?

June 18, 2018

Taking It Out On Madison

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Madison Time, Marjie Ducey, metapost — nedryerson @ 6:10 am

061818

Don’t you just love it when the first panel on Monday morning basically repeats the the narrative of the last panel on Saturday? It’s okay. There’s lots of weekend in between, we’ve got plenty of space to tell the story and we need another gorgeous Pelwecki close-up. Those flowing locks, those Sharpied eyebrows, that generic blandness. It’s a gift, really.

Now that we’ve established Kevin’s propensity for asking a stupid question, it’s time for Gil to shine with a snappy answer (shout out to Mad magazine).

Kevin, your limited skill set has very low market value. If you can perform at a high level in other ways, I’ve yet to see it. Also, you’re just wandering around in school in a baseball uniform and that seems like a red flag. Madison? Oh yeah, it’s almost Madison time!

What was I just saying about how much space we have to tell this story? Sorry, no room for any actual Madison time*. Just time for a post game wrap up with Marjie. Do we know Marjie’s height? If Kevin is barely taller than Marjie and she’s anything under six feet, there’s yet another knock on Pelwecki’s recruiting appeal.

*On TWIM, there’s always room for Madison time. Also, in yet another attempt to show that we care just a little bit, I created a Madison Time tag and applied it retrospectively.

Wham!
 

 

May 9, 2018

Busting Loose, Shortly

050918

As someone who is a little above the 95th percentile in height,* please allow me to say the following:

  • I am fortunate to know a great many very accomplished and successful people, many of them men. Among those men, perhaps the most exceptionally accomplished are, generally speaking, kinda shorter than average.
  • That said, most all of these people, regardless of stature or gender, are incredibly diligent professionals and I often hold them out to others as examples to emulate.
  • For my part, I find that all I have to do is show up on time, smile a lot, crack a few jokes and wait for my full head of hair to gradually turn silver. Everything else just seems to take care of itself.

Enough of that BS, the world is a weird place. What can I say?  Speaking of, 5’8″ is, as has been pointed out in previous comments, not short at all! WTH?

Metapost: Speaking of me, if I can figure out how to upload an audio file to this site for free (WordPress thinks they’re entitled to payment for their services apparently) – call it never released Wednesday in anticipation of Jive Turkey’s Rock n’ Roll Thursday – look out for a completely different post that will be coming from me on Sunday.

* Actual snippet of conversation I had with a new neighbor: “It’s a pleasure to meet you but this is a little awkward as I had a twelve year run as the tallest guy on the block.”

Here we go. Please let me know if this is working for people and address all music criticisms/comments to the late ’90’s. Trust me, Sunday’s post may explain this.

Older Posts »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.