This Week in Milford

January 17, 2018

Milford Floor-Spaces Oakwood in Foul-Prone, Cold-Shooting, Knock-Down, Drag-Out, Loser-Leaves-The-Comic-Strip Show-Down in the Play-Downs!!!!!!!!!!

Filed under: basketball, Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — tdrewhardin @ 2:36 am


Whew! I gotta sit down. That’s a lotta hyphens. Let me catch my breath, Gil. I mighta over-hyphenated as I think you could ram together play-downs to playdowns but did you ever try to keep up with a man who must have went to the library to check out a book on basketball lingo(get a life, Gil) and proceeded to memorize the terminology from A to Z?

Gil sipping his cappuccino, taking a long drag on his meerschaum. Mimi is drumming her fingers on the coffee table, waiting for The Moment. “Pick-and-Roll. Ummmm, let’s see, don’t tell me, Mimi, let me think, I’m still flushing football out of my system. Isn’t that where you try to draw a charge by rolling to the ground in a knee-jerk reaction when opponent makes slight contact with you on his way to the hoop? No???? Gimme that book!!!!!!”

Gil, I’ll even settle for a game of HORSE, heck, I’ll spot you H and O, but can we get on with the sport, for cryin’ out loud???? We’ve seen as much basketball inertness as we have hyphenated nomenclature. Preseason(oops, Pre-season) consisted of a girl (understandably) moanin’ the blues while her brother had a powwow with Lurch & company yesterday, and if anybody noticed, if he’s a guard, EXCEPT for Lurch, he seemed to semi-tower over the rest of the floor-spacers. And poor #5 a/k/a Larry Fine, Jr(dad must be in the stands somewhere, proud as a peacock-good one, Jive Turkey, BTW). How’s he gonna floor-space, using one arm?

C’mon, Thorp. If you’re gonna try to convince the rest of the population that Jumpin’ Jack Foxworthy is the real deal and can pilfer my lunch money off the top of the backboard, it’s gonna take more than a snapshot resembling the Kentucky State Flag(as in P3). “Well, I never saw you, I was still trying to get “Slash-and-Burn” down cold but you’re as good as advertised.” “Thanks, Coach, but did you check out ‘Fun with Cultural Anthropology’ by mistake?”

Pity the poor fool engineering the up-the-nostril camera angle in P1. I hope he has insurance. Or a strong back brace. Just don’t zoom the lens for a Big Close-up and you should be OK(“yuk, Gil, need a Kleenex?” Thanks, Marcie. Now where was I? Oh, yeah, we’re gonna Shake-and-Bake…”).

And remember, if yore name is Francisco Jose de Goya y Lucientes but ya got an accent only a Mississippian could translate and ya commute to school in a 4-wheel drive, the same one that got ya In-School Suspension on account of the gun rack ya toted on school property, even if the same inexplicably carried yore textbooks like Chem I and World Geography, ya might be a redneck.

Enough of me. Gang, we’ve had some strong comments the last couple of days. Waitin’ on y’all. That’s how I learn.


December 18, 2017

All Wet


Goshen won the slugfest in the rain. We had one panel of action in said slugfest, so it wasn’t exactly clear who wore what unis, but I believe Goshen was in the dark jerseys. So that would be the Goshen guys standing miserably in the rain waiting until the coach finishes up his handshake before they can get to the visitors locker room and get out of their waterlogged gear. (I was pondering that situation last night watching the conclusion of the Patriots vs. Steelers game and wondering about the logistics of dealing with tons of soaking wet uniforms, pads, shoes, etc. In the NFL and even big time college football, of course there’s considerable staff and resources for such things, but it can’t be too pleasant in high school.)

If you look even deeper into the first panel, you’ll also see some very devoted fans who are still parked in the stands. One has a comically small umbrella and another appears to be holding a folded piece of paper or cardboard over his head. They certainly got soaked. Maybe they have to wait to ride back to Goshen with the team.

Marjie Ducey looks like she got pretty soaked. That might be an early Christmas present for robmize, at least in concept.

What’s left to chew on here? Puddles on Steve Luhm’s shiny floors, more shiny floors, and more Ricky Soto/UG drama.

November 10, 2017

Much Adou about nothing

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 7:00 pm

We finally have the finished product of Uncle (or Grampa ) Garys efforts to sensationalize his grandson (or nephew) and his enormous singing ability. And its just a website of people singing. If you didnt know where to find it you’d never see Rick in all his glory crooning about Old Glory. Now that the whole team has seen it can we move on to other things, like a video of Gary being shot out of a cannon, removing him once and for all from this planet?  Now THAT would be viral in a heartbeat.

What are you doing online? The same thing all you losers are doing – posting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Photobucket, and Google Plus. Hey, I even saw a video of Marjie Ducey doing a striptease. Pass me the phone please!

September 23, 2017

Transition into Ambition


Today we learn that The Secret Pelwecki will share linebacking duties with an internationally-known professor of economics (or maybe a bassist) who is currently on leave from his day job. If Pelwecki is to be a right guard/linebacker/fullback/butt of jokes (or, in Milfordese, RG/LB/FB/BOJ!) why is he getting reps at QB? Even more curiously, why is he wearing True Standish’s number? (BTW that link also shows an instance of Gil actually using a fullback.) You might think Gil would’ve retired that jersey and put it in a littlefreelibrary shrine on campus.

So: a bunch of slow receivers too small to play tight end. A small, scrappy, quick quarterback. A couple of decent offensive linemen, one of whom will occasionally line up at fullback. What kind of offense will Gil put on the field this fall? Speculate away.

September 22, 2017

The only tight end I care about is Marjies

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Marjie Ducey, premature baldness — robmize2013 @ 6:03 pm

Well look who’s back – – its Marjie Ducey, who we havent seen since probably last football season. I dont think they played enough baseball to warrant her presence, and I dont feel like combing through the archives to find her talking hoops either. (Need our trusty Thorpian researcher to do that job. Thanks)

How the hell does any football team have so many former tight ends at wide receiver, and no former linebackers? ( Calling Kevin Pelwicki) If thats the case, who’s playing tight end now? Oh yeah, maybe Kevin. And it really makes sense to have your fastest player at QB instead of WR or RB. Can tell by the way Marjie looks at Gil that she thinks he’s full of crap too.

I dont give a crap about Panel 1 by the way;  whenever that storyline wants to blow itself up is fine with me. The Glee Club and football havent been connected since the Brady Bunch with Peter Brady.

One more thing– how does Marjie know whos playing quarterback before Gil tells her? She’s done this before; instead of Gil telling her she tells him about someone. Kind of reverse psychology.

Love her earrings by the way. Marjie we’ve missed you…

April 14, 2017

More girl talk

Filed under: bizarre cameos, general nonsense, Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 3:28 pm

Well I guess this is an improvement over the last storyline; cute girls having a discussion of roping in a stud on the track team and figuring out how to lure him in when the one who is truly interested isnt the one that needs to do the roping. Whatever.

Gary Meola looks like a surfer dude from his pic on this site, but his day job is as a real-estate agent for Coldwell Banker in Maui Hawaii. Cool. Now if we can persuade him to transfer his offices to Milford we have a real story eh? If I lived in Hawaii I’d rather stick my head in a microwave and turn it on high then move to a tank town like Milford, and hang out with girls with blue hair and that one in P2 with platinum blond hair like Marjie D. Pass the ketchup before you take another bite of burger please.

March 17, 2017

Downwardly mobile in what way?

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, freak hands, Gil Thorp, lessons learned, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 6:01 pm

Well gang, its back to black and white for the moment as I cant copy the Seattle Times strip for some odd reason. Sorry – I know you all miss that blue hair!

So Aaron finds Ma’s pills in her hiding place and reveals her to be a pathological liar as well as a drug abuser. I suppose the pills maybe help her to stay awake for long hours or whatever, but still no excuse to sacrifice that for her sons well-being.

Of course, she could ask Gil the same question in a way – his idea of coaching is to let someone else do all the work for free until the shit finally hits the fan, then he hastily cleans up all the months-old stench left behind from his own neglect of his team(s).

Again we waste all winter with this one issue and the girls team has been left invisible with nary a Hadley V. Baxendale around to stir up some more interesting trouble.

Finally – why does Mom need her glasses on her head sitting at home?  Cant anyone in this strip who wears glasses wear them ON THEIR FACE?? Only exception is of course Marjie Ducey; but everyone else feels the need to show off their frames as a head ornament.






February 13, 2017

Largely Disappearing

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Marjie Ducey — nedryerson @ 4:34 am


Aaron Aagard, non starter, still can’t sustain his effort coming off the bench. I wonder why that is? The dumpy apartment, the sort of actuary mom, Molly the girlfriend. These are the things we know. Why won’t they add up?? So confounding. It’s Monday, and we’re still confounded.

Is that Marjie at the press table, calling the game to herself as she prepares her story for The Star?

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