This Week in Milford

May 1, 2019

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

gt05012019

“Only one loss.  Are you surprised?”

“Sure as hell am! I haven’t even been coaching this team this spring.”

“There’s a swagger and spirit to this team that’s infectious…. Know what else is infectious? This fungus under my fingernails.”

“Eww! Gotta run, Mimi.  Smell you later.”

I get that Marcie Marjie usually comes over to MHS to interview the Coaches Thorp at the beginning of each season, but it seems like this little talk could’ve been conducted just as easily over the phone.  With all the too-cool-for-school hobbies front and center, the Lady Mudlarks’ record has kind of slipped under the radar.  Not to worry; Marcie will fix that…

… and so will the Lady Mudlarks.  Nothing like jinxing* your team in front of a crowd, is there, Molly Hatchet?  Make sure you say that again, and louder, to the formerly-focused-but-now-more-unfocused-than-her-teammates Linda Carr.  Mimi will need a good scapegoat.

*metapost: I was gonna title today’s post “Jinx!” but looks like I already pulled that stunt.

Advertisements

March 13, 2019

Your 2019 Lady Mudlarks: Flirtin’ With Disaster

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey, Mimi Thorp, Neal's friends, Pantheon of Hair, softball — teenchy @ 5:41 am

gt03132019

The jokes will write themselves.

It’s only a matter of what kind of disaster will befall them.

I’m running with the B&W version of the strip ’cause I believe Mimi’s brunette locks to be a colorist’s anomaly, not an indication that she’s given up dyeing her hair in an effort to gain more attention for Milford girls’ sports or to fulfill Gil’s Kenzie Hanley fantasy.  Also pulling the Pantheon of Hair tag for Molly’s kinda sorta pixie cut.

March 11, 2019

Let’s Hear It For The Girls

Filed under: Marjie Ducey, Mimi Thorp, softball — nedryerson @ 6:52 am

03112019.png

Spring is in the air! It’s time to kick off our new plot. (What’s that? The last plot was an unsatisfying mess that barely limped over the finish line while puking its guts out all over the spectators? Welcome to Milford!)

For the purposes of today’s strip (colorized version) Mimi Thorp will be sporting chestnut hair. It looks nice on her, coordinates nicely with her similarly colored  bat and batting gloves and the all red uni. I’m going to assume that the colorist made this choice to keep from flooding the strip with blonde due to Marjie’s appearance.

Since we’re starting out with softball practice, can we expect to spend some time with Milford Girls Sports and some female student athletes? Nothing is guaranteed (except disappointment, mostly).

If we are going to focus on a female Mudlark this season, it will be our infielder who makes diving stops on sharp grounders in the hole. (If you are taking grounders, do you wear a batting glove? I never thought about it, but I guess it makes sense from an injury prevention standpoint.) Do we know her? Probably not. But Marjie Ducey appreciates her skill so we will be hearing a lot about her (until focus is pulled away by some nimrod on the baseball team).

December 22, 2018

Won’t Quit? Seems Legit

gt12222018

Okay, so Milford ran into a buzzsaw of a non-conference opponent in its season opener and lost by double digits. Taken in isolation, yeah, they got their stuff handed to them but in the bigger picture of a basketball season it’s not the end of the world. You learn from your mistakes and apply them to the next game. You can still win your conference and make the playdowns.

Even a mediocre coach like Gil can be given a pass on this one, which makes his extended mea culpa to Marjie a bit odd. Marjie quotes Gil verbatim in the next day’s Milford Star, which is digested over coffee by Bobby Howry the Elder (which he will be tagged until otherwise renamed) who obviously thinks otherwise.

What Bobby’s next Burma Shave billboard will read is today’s cliffhanger.  Bobby’s revenge campaign may be to get Gil canned, but to what end?  He might think he’s better qualified to coach the Mudlarks after his stint at the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER but there’s that little matter of drug dealing that may keep him out of the job.

 

New tag today: Coffee Cantina, the second most popular meeting place in Milford outside The Bucket.

 

December 21, 2018

Late rush? Go to Denny’s.

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Marjie Ducey, oversize objects — robmize2013 @ 8:49 pm

And I get to describe the ball again being too large for the basket, hence the Cold shooting. Why travel that far and use beachballs? P1 has 2 different squares behind the net. One is short and square, the other is longer and more rectangular. Artist error # 234.

A late rush? If  outscoring a team thats blowing you out 11-6 in garbage time when they clear the benches is a late rush, I’m joining Phi Slamma Jamma.

And its Margie D again in P3, warming our hearts on a cold winters night (yes its the first day of winter), gazing at Gil as if he’s nuts with his remark that they didnt give up. Brian Ulmer is not only the best center you will face, he’s also a man without one.

https://provider.stvincent.org/details/545/brian-ulmer-internal_medicine-indianapolis

 

December 19, 2018

Warriors! Come out to play-ay!

gt12192018

The Arapaho(e) are a Native American tribe of the Great Plains. Arapahoe High School, near Denver, unfortunately made national news almost five years ago to this day for a shooting which left one student dead and the shooter taking his own life.

Well, after that bit of cheer to start off our day, let’s dive in to the traditional Mouseketeer Roll Call of the roster.  This time it’s Marty who’s doing the roll call, as it appears that Marjie whipped out the pepper spray on Gil once he started becoming too much of a close talker.  “Sorry, Mr. Coach Thorp, mediocre may be good enough for Mrs. Coach Thorp, but it’s not good enough for me.”

Marginal Mike Filion and Nosey Parker Andre Ruffin form the backcourt. The starting forwards are seventh-year senior Paul Beaudry and – wait, what?  Is Jorge Padilla still in Milford?  How did Marty pronounce his name? (I’m guessing correctly given Moon’s chastened, pissy look on his face.)  Have the Padillas not moved back to Puerto Rico or at least Georgia?  Rubin dropped the ball bigly on the Padilla story last winter, and I doubt he’ll be picking it up again now.

Nope, my guess is that when we’re not delving into the mystery of Two Billboards Outside Milford or watching Filion having me time in his bedroom, we’ll get some minor focus on “scrawny,” “lanky” center Marcell Irby (thanks to whom I can’t stop thinking of Jerry Clower, which probably says more about me than Rubin) and his struggles in the paint.  Burly Rick Soto will probably sub for Marcell after he gets banged around and Milford will lose any height advantage it may have had.

Arapahoe’s sports teams* are called the Warriors, a perfect setup for Milford’s nerdy cutesy snarky student body.  Maybe Ernie from My Three Sons and the Milford Pirate Network can lead the fans in the chant.

 

 

 

 

*Colorado high school basketball teams participate in playoffs, not playdowns.

September 5, 2018

In the Opener, I’ll Take the Mudlarks and 8 1/2

gt09052018

Man, the last thing I want to read in Gil Thorp is Kaz talking about Kelly’s sexual proclivities.  Oh, wait, he said Fellini. Never mind.

Does an awkward fist bump qualify as a “High Five Fail”?  Today, I’m calling that it does.

Quick cut to the practice field and there’s Marjie with her canister of pepper spray. Mouseketeer Roll Call will begin tomorrow and Joe Bolek will get namechecked along with a few other of Rubin’s friends.  Something tells me Bolek will flop as a ballplayer, or suffer a season-ending injury, and replace Kaz as the “film guru” on the Mudlark coaching staff.  Then he can tell Gil what kind of wacky leather-helmet era formation he can spring on the Valley Conference to make up for the usual fundamental shortcomings that plague the Milford football program.

Hold up: is that Marty standing next to Gil and Marjie?  Looks like he’s still taking hits from that tall can of STFU Gil gave him at the end of basketball season.  Let’s see how long that lasts.

July 11, 2018

Meanwhile Barry Bader Is Posting Angry Rants To Youtube

071118

And Gil hasn’t even noticed his absence from… practice? I guess? Shouldn’t Kevin be getting rejected as a QB from the local 7 on 7 teams?

Panel one: As I don’t understand the difference, with respect to baseball teams, between D-II and JuCo (and can’t be bothered to research it), I’m going to guess Gil did the ‘right’ thing in steering Ryan to D-II. Of course this is the second or third time we’ve even mentioned Ryan’s recruitment even though he’s a hard throwing lefty so… another job well done by all involved.

Panel two: “On the other hand, if he hurts his arm, they’ll drop him like a rock and he’ll end up pumping gas at the station outside of whatever town D-II School is in.”

Panel three: “What about The Secret?” “I suspect people will be asking why we’re still talking about that guy for the rest of our lives (of reading Gil Thorp).”

Minus point: What exactly is even going on today? Seriously, at this point I’d almost be OK going down to Milford Country Club to watch Gil ruin the game of golf for a bunch of preadolescents.

Older Posts »

Blog at WordPress.com.