This Week in Milford

January 4, 2018

Hoops Analysis This Soon? Why Bother?

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Every now and then an astute TWIM commenter brings up the notion that Neal Rubin’s Milford, in which high school kids go out for, make, and play regularly on teams in multiple sports, isn’t necessarily an accurate reflection of the current state of youth sports in the US. We occasionally get a glimpse into that world – the summer 2015 arc being a prime example – but by and large it’s a phenomenon that gets overlooked in the Thorpiverse. Given that the deepest drink of success juice Gil’s had in along time came by way of a kid whose sole focus up to that point had been a single sport, you’d think he’d be more amenable to the idea. It might even make for a more intriguing story line than we’re used to seeing. (Me, I was wondering if there’d be some ramifications from Jaquan Case walking around Milford in a hoodie in summertime, but Rubin spit that bit.)

But the Gil Thorp model of team-building probably plays well in places where they still read GRIT Gil Thorp in print. It keeps Gil in a coaching monopoly and Marty in a spiffy crate. So maybe we’ll get treated to a quintet of lunky hoopers dishing out elbows and concussions whilst setting picks for A.A.Ron Aagard (whose splintered home life will hopefully get picked up on as the arc progresses) and another wispy guy in the Max Bacon/Lini Verde mold.

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January 3, 2018

All Is Forgiven

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Just Plain Awesome, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots, Pissy faced Gil — timbuys @ 10:20 am

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You know, if the next week of strips is just Gil and Marty getting progressively more aggressively glib with their repartee, then I am all in.

I won’t even point out things like Gil’s ‘Thorf’ nameplate or his stick figure team portraits or the comically low back on the chair he’s making Marty sit in.

Yeah, I wouldn’t. But you go right ahead.

November 27, 2017

This Could Be Key For Us!

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 6:33 am

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This is the fourth strip in a row showing us action in the New Thayer game! Is this because Whigrub have realized they’ve been shortchanging readers in the sports department or is it because they really want to savor the build up to Panel 3?

Marty is beside himself because viral video singing star Rick Soto is “slow to get up”. You heard right. Ricky Soto is potentially injured and maybe even concussed!

Uncle Gary probably has a film crew there to capture the drama so he can make a documentary about Rick Soto, his meteoric rise to viral video fame, the devastating(?) injury that derailed his career and his heroic journey back. Uncle Gary knows the biz! If Rick just reinjured his ankle, maybe Uncle Gary can use the footage for an alternative film venture, The Untitled Trainer Rick Scott Project.

November 24, 2017

Well Golly Gee it worked

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — robmize2013 @ 8:28 pm

Who wants to bet Nick has a concussion to fulfill Garys prophecy? Still dont know how Gary cares about that seeing as he’s busy making videos of guys who dont wanna sing.

Thats all folks – 11 hour day at work in the dark. Too tired to put thoughts together – – have at it in the comments!

November 23, 2017

Hawker Rocked Like a Hurricane

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Finally the focus turns to football, just as it should on Thanksgiving Day. I know I’ve ranted about Milford and other teams wearing white at home but absent any explanation it’s a pet peeve of mine*. Maybe New Thayer is the Valley’s version of LSU and they’ve got a wacky coach like Les Miles. They have a fancier crate for Marty than Marty has at home, I’ll give ’em that. That and a cooler turn in the weather has Marty breaking out his Captain Haddock mock turtleneck.

I suppose we’ll spend the next couple of days in suspense over which Mudlark comes out of this game with a concussion. Nick Hawker is thrown out there as the first candidate; he doesn’t appear to be the ball carrier in P3, so I’m thinking New Thayer’s initial approach is to take away the dive. Gil should know by now that a key to a successful option offense is to chop and cut block like a mother, Georgia Tech style. Maybe a NT defender will land a knee to the head of a chopping Milford lineman. You knew these boys would be tempting fate yesterday by getting their burgers from a drive-thru and not at The Bucket.

It’s this kind of gridiron analysis that we’ve been pining for all season long. Have at it, TWIMers, and happy turkey day!

*TWIMer Downpuppy notes the Mudlark unis are a bit snazzy in the color version of today’s strip, not unlike a Georgia blackout.

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October 19, 2017

The Best-Laid Plans Aren’t Much Fun

October 17, 2017

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Yep, the same ol’ same ol’. Marty asks a not terribly snarky question, Gil delivers a douchey answer. If your game plan is as dull and nonspecific as the one Gil delivers in his pre-game pep talk, then what exactly are you giving away repeating that verbatim on the air? If I’m Marty I’m throwing Gil’s crap back in his face on Saturday morning, as the next two strips will reveal.

October 18, 2017

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Another situation where the home team wears white at night. Is it really that hot in Nebraska this time of year? Other minutiae: weird perspective in P1 (at least three different planes), funky stadium architecture in general (do the bleachers face the field?), Milford’s uni numbers glow in the dark but their helmet decals no longer do. (Also wondering why Gil didn’t retire True Standish’s #11, since it doesn’t look like he’ll be sniffing any championships again anytime soon.) Minus points for Whigrub for not having a QB shout “Omaha!”

October 19, 2017

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“Coach Thorp couldn’t tell me his game plan ’cause he didn’t have one!” – Marty Moon, on his first broadcast after the Millard West game

By the light of the 2×4 Lego brick Milford is stymied and humiliated. Not only are the Mudlarks held scoreless in the second half, they get groped in the process. Adding insult to, well, just adding insult, the now-balding Marty Uncle Gary takes another opportunity to twist his tiny knife into Rick, hoping to drain the boy’s desire to play football by a thousand paper cuts. Shouldn’t Rick be dragging himself onto the team bus for a long, sad ride back to Milford? Or has Dr. Pearl cut Gil’s athletic budget so deeply that the players’ parents are forced to shuttle them to and from each game?

 

 

October 16, 2017

No Time For Duck Jokes

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Oh, Uncle Gary. You’re unrelenting in your disdain of football. Don’t let the Millard West Wildcats hear your dismissive jabs, or they’ll drive up(?) from Omaha, Nebraska show you what it’s like! Sit over there with your coffee cup and your barbs, we’ve got other things of import to untangle here today.

What the hell? Coach Kaz went and got a black/blue dye job? (Okay, so this is why I used the color strip today. I kind of feel like colorist mistakes are maybe the easiest and most painfully obvious things to snark on, but on some most Mondays, I’ll take just about anything I can get.) Well, Kaz, what can we say? It looks great on you. Combined with the backwards clergy collar/black tee, it’s a bold new look for you. I guess the rest of the coaching brain trust (Coach Shaw! Steve Boone! Gilbot 3000!) is too absorbed in game video to take in your bold new choices. I predict Kaz will go and rinse that color out of his hair in time for his next appearance.

So we began with a goateed a-hole and now we end with the OG goateed a-hole, Marty Moon. Marty is doing his usual, the journalistic equivalent of stepping on a gardening rake. He lobs a presumptive question at Gil. In this cliffhanger style presentation, Gil gets a whole day to formulate a snarky and insultingly dismissive answer.

October 5, 2017

Soto’s Escort Service

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Three days to finish one play, and the first game will be finished by the end of the first week of October. Something tells me at least three games will be told and not shown in a single strip in about a week or two. Rick Soto’s exploding head tips us to his imminent concussion, so while we’re waiting for that reveal let’s focus on the little details:

(1) Whigham’s shout-out to his mom via Milford’s and Oakwood’s glow-in-the-dark helmet decals, ’cause working it into a shirt collar like they did at Wendy’s just isn’t as dramatic.

(b) Again with the confusing numbers: Filllllllllion has been shown as #9 to date but the guy carrying the big croissant behind Soto is wearing a double-digit number. The Oakwood player Soto’s blocking is pretty big to be wearing #14, don’tchathink? Maybe he’s a former lineman who wants to be a ball carrier, too. Maybe he’s the son of The Battleship Lorenzen.

(iii) Marty’s scar face is particularly nightmare-inducing today. The dried hooch crust in his beard is a nice touch, as are the slats in the lid of his crate. At least he trims his nose hair.

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