This Week in Milford

July 5, 2021

Like A Tragedy

Katy and Zane are still riffing on this Romeo and Juliet nonsense? Sheathe your weapon Katy, Chief Lind expressly hath forbidden bandying in Milford streets. Did we really have to check in with these star crossed idiots again for a single panel accounting for half the tags on this post. Katy has all the chunky accoutrements and is posing in front of a prairie style window. It’s enough to make you plotz.

There’s more baseball to be played. Oh joy. Marty has to drag the crate out in the summer heat and document Zane Romeo Clark’s exploits on the mound. He’s probably sitting on a cooler full of iced cold Schlitz.

Round about the time Marty is cracking open his tenth beer, Valley Tech gets on the board and we watch a relay throw coming in from the outfield. Yawn. Is there any of that pie left?

Scott Kempner of The Dictators and The Del Lords, take it away:

June 7, 2021

KRAK! Attack At Madison

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Madison Time, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 10:25 am

Hey, look! It’s Marty Moon, who has been keeping a pretty low profile of late. He dragged his crate over to Madison and he’s giving us an update on what’s been happening on the diamond. A whole host of also rans have been doing baseball things. Gonzo has been pitching a “dandy” and, looking to start an offensive charge, we have Dallas George and Curtis Charles getting on base, setting the table for DUN DUN DUNNNN, Zane Clark! As you recall, Zane started in right for this game. His work on the mound has been shaky of late, but now it’s time to see how he’s doing at the plate.

The Madison pitcher throws Zane a high fastball and KRAK! Zane stings it! A stinger. Oh boy, oh boy. Did he sting it hard enough to get in at least the tying run? We’ll leave it right there for now. Hey, isn’t this better than Library Board shenanigans and Mimi forcing college down Corina’s throat? Um, maybe?

It’s been a while since we’ve had a Madison Time video. I thought maybe I had mined all the interesting (a relative term) clips from YouTube, but here’s one that showed up in the last year. It’s the standard Ray Bryant Combo recording but it features film of boring white people, Joan Darby and Joe Cash, demonstrating all the intricate Madison Time moves with plenty of close ups for those of you that haven’t been able to pick up the steps so far. Wow, look at their “Rifleman”! That oughta clear the dance floor! Their “Wilt Chamberlain” could use a little work though. Enjoy!

May 8, 2021

Color Me Inconsistent

Yesterday and Thursday it was Zane changing outfits from one panel to the next (not to mention Katy’s eyes changing from blue to brown). Before that, it was Mama Brito’s constantly color-changing hair. Today it’s the always-red Mudlarks in black and chartreuse. There’s a lack of institutional control in the Thorpiverse and it’s throwing everyone for a loop. Hell, even Marty’s so pissed that his notebook is bleeding out onto his shirt and he’s karate chopping his pencil. Then again, his sippy cup’s nowhere to be seen so he might just be having a case of the DTs.

The Mudlarks have apparently traveled to Austin, Texas, to face Crockett. (There are no doubt other Crockett Highs; as this one hasn’t been identified by nickname yet, I reserve the right to come back and edit this post.) After his shaky bullpen outing, Zane Clark has somehow earned a right to a start, and he almost immediately goes all Robin Roberts Max Scherzer and gives up a gopher ball. He’s not throwing strikeouts like Mad Max, unfortunately.

Gil and Kaz laugh this off Bull Durham style. Surprised Kaz didn’t make a crack about the ball having a stewardess.

They must figure if Zane digs a hole early, he can’t blow a lead.

Seriously, though. There has got to be someplace that still runs this strip in black and white, doesn’t there?

April 16, 2021

From right field to blown save

Filed under: actual action, baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon — robmize2013 @ 8:12 pm

And we get introduced to the starting lineup which includes RuhRoh, Munch, Macy, and Zane. Half the guys played football for chrissake. Same bums. Its like nobody else can play sports except the same guys. By senior year theyve played 12 seasons. No wonder Zane took a couple years off.

Of course the ball finds Zane just as Marty is announcing his name.

No baseball cap for Gil the manager? And only 4 innings for your ace workhorse, even though its only opening day? I know they play at least 7 innings, so the bullpen needs 3 innings; plenty of room for 2nd guessing if they blow this lead, especially if Gil chooses the right fielder.

And I predict thats what will happen.

December 5, 2020

Gil’s Intrigued: The Rest of Us Are Bored

Geez, Marty, why so surprised? Have you killed so many brain cells with Johnnie Walker that you can’t remember Gil trotting out the Wing-T in 2007, also late in the season? (Hint: It was right after you called out Cully Vale as a convicted killer.) From the sound of it Milford may have practiced the Delaware offense but not so much with Leonard Fleming under center. Good thing New Thayer sucks this year.

Today’s strip has the feel of an arc-ender, what with Gil’s “wait ’til next year” spiel to Marjie and his fourth-wall-breaking, shit-eating grin in the final panel.* Gil’s counting on two things here: (a) No one reads the Milford Star (b) Chance Macy doesn’t get blowtop mad for a second straight season. He didn’t lose his cool this season; must have gotten some decent anger management training. Anna Corinna Karenina could stand similar to knock that chip off her shoulder.

Still the Mudlarks have to wrap up their season against traditional rival Valley Tech. Think Rubin will remember that?

*If this does end up being the last strip in the fall arc, I may come back for a metapost.

November 26, 2020

Metapost: Fifty Years Ago Today, Milford Won the Valley

Not sure how many of you TWIMers read the Curmudgeon today, but buried in the comments was a shout-out to The Daily Cartoonist’s running of the dailies from November 26, 1970. That day’s installment of Gil Thorp had the muddy Mudlarks slogging past Valley Tech to run the table for the first time in school history.

Noteworthy details: Robbie Cannon’s sock striping, Marty looking a lot like Elrod-era Mark Trail‘s Johnny Malotte, lettering that looks a lot like Gasoline Alley‘s, and Gil’s long, lithe, almost feminine hand.

While you’re digging around on that Daily Cartoonist page, enjoy the random misogyny, racial sterotypes, and inflation jokes. Still it’s nice to know that some things never change, like Gil lucking into victories. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

October 30, 2020

Dumb and Dumber (questions)

So the final damages were 57-13. Folks, I’ve been to many high school football games. And a game like this, where you know who’s gonna win 5 minutes into the game, and almost all the fans leave after the halftime show, is not a good show. 1 game I saw 2 people leaving in the First quarter after the home team was ahead 28-0. Joliet Catholic once beat St. Joseph 84-0, after leading 52-0 at halftime. They finally put in a running clock in my state after a team is ahead by more then 35 points in the second half. A QB who played for both Illinois and Iowa named Jon Beutcher had a running clock almost every game his senior year for Wheaton- Warrenville South. But he was worth the price of admission he was so good.

A good show is a 13-12 nailbiter or a 45-42 shootout, close to the end. Not a steamroller annihilating the downtrodden opposition, who usually barely have enough players to keep 11 bodies on the field, and who are just trying to get out of there in 1 piece.

Yet Gil calls passes for the 3rd stringer after calling only runs for the 2nd guy. Hmmmm. Yeah Marty its a dumb question – who the hell cares how you finish a game like this, but you needed to ask Gil where those calls were last week when your backup disobeyed you. And if you’re so good, you should be able to get through the season with 2 qb’s. Again, I watched high school football for decades, and can barely remember any injuries to the qb during the game. They generally played the whole game, lifted only to let the backup hand off a few times. I dont recall a single 3rd stringer playing a down. So Gils logic is pretty weak. If anything the SECOND stringer should get the reps here.

Finally we have the sulking Corinna in the hallways – why the fuck should she explain why she wasnt at that yawner? Kick his ass CK and stuff him in a locker to boot.

October 28, 2020

Dueling Bad Jokes

Hard to believe there could be a worse team than Milford in the Valley, innit? Yet here we are. Wonder why we never see anyone else in the conference use some archaic formations, defensive schemes or kung fu treachery to make up for their shortcomings against Milford. Most likely because Gil hasn’t updated his playbook for this century and would be equally ready for those plays.

How will this play into our blossoming quarterback controversy? Easily. The Thayer-led Mudlarks will open up a big lead on Central, then Gil will relent and put Rapson in to mop up. Still trying to convince Gil he’s the better talent, Rapp will again defy Gil, call an audible and run a big-yardage play for a score. Gil benches Rapp permanently, Central’s coach accuses Gil of running up the score after the final whistle, and things get ugly.

At least that will offer up more excitement than Friday night at Casa Karenna, where mom and daughter are caught up in a high-stakes game of gin rummy or Uno or something. Probably Uno, since Corina might want to keep mom away from the gin and rum and steer her toward the Yoo-Hoo. Hiyo! (Calling it “a duel of their own” implies that the Milford-Central game is some kind of duel which seems kind of off given Marty’s description of the game turning into a blowout.) Corina cares more about her mom’s mental health than Milford football, which is certainly understandable given this past summer’s backstory. Now if only she could allude to that without being a jerkface to everyone she meets…

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