This Week in Milford

July 8, 2020

Metapost: Not Dead Yet

Filed under: Gil Thorp, metapost — teenchy @ 6:56 am

Gentle readers,

I’ll keep this short and sweet: This past Saturday morning I went on a hike in the Poconos with son of teenchy. We started out fairly early but by the time we were done the temperatures were in the mid-80s Fahrenheit. The combination of heat, elevation changes, insufficient hydration and my old ass being out of shape led me to dehydration and heatstroke.

The ER doctors initially thought I’d had a heart attack, but a series of tests showed that not to be the case. I was kept in hospital for observation and yet more tests from Saturday afternoon until Monday afternoon. Nice way to spend a holiday weekend.

I’m still pretty tired and sore and moving kinda slow but I’m still here. Around the dinner hour on Saturday, I wasn’t sure I would be. I’ve learned some lessons the hard way, and I’ve gotta start making some changes both physically and mentally to make the best of the time I have left.

On that note, if you all will be patient with me I’ll get a post up about today’s strip later in the day.

Thanks for reading, I remain

yhs teenchy

June 11, 2020

Metapost: Heading to Tut’s birthplace

Filed under: metapost — robmize2013 @ 8:18 pm

Hey gang, I’m going to need a fill-in for tomorrow– going on my next vacation– to Phoenix. Was supposed to be going to London to watch the Cubs – Cardinals series, but the virus put the kibosh on that. So decided to play golf instead and at the time the only state open for it was Arizona, so here we are. Temps for the weekend are: 109, 107, 106, and 108. Looking forward to the dry heat that Ive heard about for years.  So thanks to whomever fills in..I’m sure you’ll enjoy writing about the impending practice game.

I will also be looking for King Tuts condo, which should still be standing since it was made of stona. Steve Martin will fill you in some more on the first resident of Arizona (well, other then his mom)

Cheers–

 

April 16, 2020

Metapost: TWIMers By the Numbers

Filed under: Gil Thorp, metapost — teenchy @ 9:18 am

Looking at the comments on yesterday’s post about the phenomenon of baseball players wearing number 13, it would seem some of us TWIM bloggers and readers have worn the number ourselves. As a result I thought it might be a fun digression from our daily snark to share the uniform numbers and the sports we’ve worn them in over the years. If there’s a backstory to why you wore the number other than having it assigned to you, please feel free to share if you’re comfortable. I doubt that anyone wore a number long enough to be the PIN for their personal account, so no harm no foul, I think.

Anyway, I’ll get the ball rolling and divulge. In softball I wore 13 for three seasons, the first with an industrial league team where I was working as a summer intern, the last two for my department’s team at a company I was working at at the time. Other numbers I wore for softball include 5 (another company team, chosen), 15 (a company team and a number I also wore for baseball; assigned for baseball, chosen for softball) and 26 (church league team, assigned). In football I wore 92, 67, 51 and 73 (all assigned). Finally in competitive motorsports events my car wore 5 and 173 (both assigned).

Anyone?

March 14, 2020

“Mimi and I washed our hands. Here, Alexa, smell ’em.”

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Well, rob went there yesterday. I was beginning to wonder how long we at TWIM could go without making mention of the current global crisis, one that could end up making the crisis that gave us the Padillas story arc a couple of seasons ago look relatively minor in comparison.

As I write a good many of us may be working from home, either by choice or by force. Some of us may already have been working from home, but travel restrictions may be keeping us from visiting our clients or customers. Rob works for the USPS, so I doubt working from home is an option for him. (Be careful out there, rob.) Some of us may see our work cut back or lost entirely. Too soon to tell.

Less than a month ago I was planning on playing hooky taking the day off from work and going into DC to see something no one has seen in ninety-five years: a major league baseball team that calls Washington home raise a world championship banner. Then the Nats announced they wouldn’t be selling single game tickets for Opening Day, that the tix would only be available as part of a season ticket plan or partial plan. (Ah yes, the sweet smell of success.) Okay, whatevs, I’ll hit StubHub. It might be another ninety-five years before it happens again.

In the words of Gilda Radner’s Emily Litella, “Never mind.” MLB cancelled the rest of spring training and postponed the start of the season by at least two weeks. The NBA, NHL, MLS, and Premier League have suspended their seasons; the XFL (look it up) canceled its season outright. The Masters, PGA and LPGA tours, and most motorsports events have been postponed. The NCAA has cancelled all remaining winter and spring sports championships; any March Madness we see will not be on a basketball court.

Where I live the schools have been closed for at least the next two weeks. The SATs scheduled for today have been postponed. High school sports have been cancelled for the remainder of the academic year, including the basketball playoffs. I guess it’s a good thing Rubin and Whigham have helped prepare us for our immediate sports-free future by turning away from sports to a few weeks of he-said, she-said about academic cheating.

Just wait until the spring story arcs start in a week or two. They’ll make the Thorpiverse look even more like a fantasy land than it already does. Stay safe, TWIMers.

Update (5:25pm EDT): In all the gloom and doom I forgot to wish you all a happy Pi Day. I took time out of my day to bake a pie – an old school Florida favorite, sour orange pie. Here’s a pic so that you may enjoy vicariously. My meringue styling skills could be better.

orangepie

December 25, 2019

Do They Know It’s Thorpmas?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Kelly Krystek, metapost, Mimi Thorp — teenchy @ 12:32 pm

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When I last posted on Christmas Day, I was hanging on a piazza in Charleston with Mr. Bakst.  No such luck today; I’m in a colder place, albeit one that’s not as cold as it used to be this time of year.  I’m also not fresh out of a hospital bed like I was in 2015, and for that I’m grateful.  I’m also grateful that I got to see firsthand something very few people still living got to see previously – a major league baseball team based in Washington win a pennant – and, a few days later, win a World Series, something even fewer still living got to see previously.

My snark isn’t as sharp as it used to be.  In my last two posts I thought I caught a typo where there wasn’t one, and I identified Teddy DeMarco’s knock-kneed stooge as Teddy himself.  I’ve still got some haiku game but I’ve lost a few mph off my song parodies (how many times can I go back to Janet’s Diner?).  Heck, I’m having a hard time finding snark for today’s strip.  The Thorp kids have been so thoroughly retconned out it hardly bears mention.  Maybe Kaz’s scarf?  Looks like one of Mary Worth’s cowlnecks.  What about that gazebo?  Since when did Milford get one of those?  Is that where Mimi entertains the pool boy when Gil’s off at Milford CC every summer?  We don’t even get “Merry Christmas” set off in a fancy font like we usually do.

Anyhoo, to all you TWIMers out there who celebrate Christmas, a merry Christmas to you.  To those of you who don’t, enjoy the day all the same.  Thanks for putting up with me and for the encouragement when I’ve felt like hanging up the keyboard.

 

December 18, 2019

Nothing Like a Roast for the Holidays

gt12182019

knock-kneed (/ˌnäkˈnēd/), adj. 1. (of a person) having legs that curve inwards so that the feet are apart when the knees are touching. “The patient had a distinctly knock-kneed gait.” 2. Teddy DeMarco Teddy DeMarco’s stooge (see edit below).

So when dude with the roadrunner fade (who turns out to be Teddy DeMarco; thanks Tim for pointing that out) and Captain Marvel shirt challenges Teddy stooge to “go old school,” that means “walk up to a kid in the cafeteria and roast him.”  Ohhh-kayyy.  Shouldn’t the roast be at least fully baked?  Without the punctuation of a high-five, would anyone have known that was the punchline?  If the roastee is already engaging in self-deprecation, doesn’t that kind of take the edge off the roast?  It’d be easy enough for Chris to come back with something like “Yeah, I know, but basketball’s not my main sport. I was the starting quarterback on the football team, in case you hadn’t noticed.”  Easier still to escalate into a roast battle: “Oh, I guess you were too busy holding that aspirin between your knees to notice. You shouldn’t have bothered; it’s not like anybody wants to go between your knees anyway.  And what’s with your pal there? Coyote after you?”
The apparently good-natured Chris Schuring doesn’t seem to be aware that Teddy just tried to roast him or, for that matter, that Teddy doesn’t even like him, something Alexa alluded to recently.  He may not be the golden child that True Standish was but so far we don’t see that he has any negative qualities.  Something tells me he will serve as the mirror which will reflect Teddy and Alexa’s shortcomings back on them.
*metapost: Edited to reflect which character is actually Teddy.

December 11, 2019

Bonk, Bonk on the Head, Alexa!

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Alexa Watson is not only smart and tragically accomplished, she likes to reenact old Star Trek episodes. At 6’1″ and ripped, she looks to be this year’s Kenzie Hanley. Will she brk some jaws in the process? Maybe after one too many jokes about her name.

We’ve seen that swoony pose on Phoebe Keener before but not paired with, apparently, a sundial for a nose.

metapost: Apologies for the late post. Caught a redeye from the Thorpiverse, literally; bad weather on both ends put me home just before sunrise. Haven’t slept in over 24 hours so this post may reflect that.

December 7, 2019

Good Ol’ Blow Top

gt12072019

Mudlarks chowin’ down on sloppy joes
Runnin’ the two-a-day drills
Then Sam Finn passed out and had to go
Whose fault? Sure wasn’t Gil’s
Junior Mudlark tailback Charlie Roh
Had the job in his hat
Got showed up by some old sophomore
That was the end of that
“Blow Top, you’re gonna be
Totin’ the rock for me
Good ol’ Blow Top
Blow Top Chance Macy
Blow Top Chance Macy”
Charlie’s dad tried to derail Blow Top
Diggin’ for bones in his past
The trail he left, they didn’t need a cop
It bit him in the ass
Chance’s fits of rage called “Blow Top”
His backstory is weird
Livin’ with his gram and grandpop
So-called parents? Disappeared
Blow Top, you’re gonna be
Treated by Charlie
Good ol’ Blow Top
Blow Top Chance Macy
Blow Top Chance Macy
Ballard’s in the doghouse with his wife
Didn’t have to make it so hard
Now his credit’s gonna take a dive
Charlie’s got his gold card
“Blow Top, Can’t you see?
Tonight’s tabs are on me!
Good ol’ Blow Top
Let’s hit Ricozzi’s
Let’s hit Ricozzi’s
Let’s hit Ricozzi’s!”
(apologies? No apologies; this song makes me want to throw something sharp)
metapost: Dunno what’s gone wrong with my spacing, or why the YT clip isn’t showing. Maybe it’s time for me to hang it up.
Fixed!* – TimP
* Well, not the line breaks. Not sure what’s going on there. 
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