This Week in Milford

November 24, 2020

Metapost: Now In for tdrew, Joan Rivers

Filed under: metapost — teenchy @ 1:42 pm

I completely overlooked the fact that tdrew was going to be away today. Have been busy with work but will get a post up directly.

October 3, 2020

North Dallas Mudlarks

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp, metapost — teenchy @ 12:55 pm

Here we are in the waning minutes of Milford’s home opener against the non-conference Ballard Bruins, who traveled all the way from Louisville, Kentucky for this showdown. The Mudlarks had a comfortable 15-point lead until Will Thayer’s bungled exchange and a quick Bruin score cut the lead to eight. Why Ballard (no relation to Charlie Roh’s stepfather) didn’t go for two then is up for discussion.

In any event, Milford’s ground-and-pound offense should have no trouble running the clock out, right? Not with Terry Rapson under center, it would appear. For reasons known only to Rapson himself, he has decided to open up the game. The end-around not only catches Ballard on their heels but also Gil, who immediately sends in another up the gut call. Once again Rapson ignores Thorp and calls an even riskier pass play.

What are the odds the Bruins make a pick-six, go for two, tie the game and win it in OT? Or maybe they get the pick-six and the conversion, and Thayer comes back in to lead the Mudlarks to an OT win? Either way, look for Milford to blow its big lead and for Gil to permanently bench Rapson after this game. Marty Moon should have a blast with this one on the postgame show. Gil yanked Thayer after one flubbed handoff; why didn’t he yank Rapson after ignoring the first play he sent in? Why damage Thayer’s confidence by yanking him in the first place? When will Corina Karenna start at QB?

metapost: Dallas George made me think of North Dallas Forty, which naturally made me think of Mac Davis, who passed away this week. Enjoy this clip of Mac channeling his inner Dandy Don Meredith.

September 25, 2020

I Thought Only Steve Luhm Handled the Mops in Milford

Hey everybody! Joan Rivers here for robmize. Can we talk?

Seriously, I don’t know what Rapson’s beef is here. The game plan with him under center is no different than the game plan with Thayer under center. What did he expect Gil to do, let him air it out and run up the score? The Mudlarks aren’t Steve Spurrier’s Florida Gators, fuhcripessake. It’s already been established that Milford’s gonna be The Chance and Charlie Show this fall.

Rapp’s probably upset that Gil wasn’t making eye contact with him when he was giving him his marching orders. Wearing mime makeup under your helmet is bound to be a bit disquieting to even the most stoic of coaches, Terry. Then again, he might’ve been taking Gil at his word a bit too literally and is miffed that Gil didn’t let him drive the Milford activity bus back from Oakwood. (Who drives that bus, anyway?)

Terry just needs to relax on the ride home and get ready to see his quarterbacking rival get shot down by Corina at The Bucket. What, you weren’t missing another strip of Corina being a jerk to everyone? Yeah, me neither.

metapost: Like robmize, I will actually be away this weekend too. Hoping Ned, tdrew or maybe even the sorely missed timbuys will step up and take my Saturday post. Okay? Okay!

September 23, 2020

And Awaaaay We Roh!

Filed under: actual action, football, hideous scar faces, metapost, Oakwood, shadow figures — teenchy @ 11:20 am

Bonfire’s out of the way, let’s get to footballin’.

Marty’s mom and dad have moved his crate out of the basement into the attic so he peer out the roof vent and down onto Milford. This better situates him to indulge his sportscaster fantasies. Marty always acts so shocked to see the Mudlarks line up in some offensive formation that fell out of favor decades ago. He should know by now that’s Gil’s fallback position when he lacks the horses (or confidence in the horses he has) to play the modern version of the game. All anyone who scouts Milford has to do is hit the library for some dusty old volume on how to defend against these archaic offenses and that’s all she wrote for the Mudlarks.

Gil starts the season with two runs up the gut from Charlie “Ruh” Roh, last year’s backup RB and wish fulfillment vehicle for Chet Ballard. Speaking of whom, where is old Chet these days? Holed up in the crate with Marty; nah, most likely living under his desk at the insurance agency. Back to the gridiron: have you ever seen a zebra signal a first down like that? Looks like he’s ready to snap off a Polish salute. It’s those quirky, not-quite-of-the-current-century details that keep we few coming back to Milford.

metapost: A moment of silence for the late Gale Sayers, whose most famous speech, as paraphrased by Billy Dee Williams, I shared with you all on that fateful day when True Standish learned of Boo Radley’s fate. If there’s a place beyond this one, I hope that Gale and Brian are back together again there.

September 21, 2020


These are the two quarterbacks, right? I don’t remember what they look like. Let’s say they’re Rapson and Thayer, but I’m not gonna swear I know which is which. The point is that one of them has now caught a glimpse of Corina and he’s interested. The other one wonders if he might get a leg up on the QB competition if his rival is smitten by the Milford “it girl”.

It’s all about Corina, friends. We’d better just get used to it. She’s sassy and brassy, she’s a catcher, she’s a prospective volleyball player, everybody’s talking about her and she’s just getting warmed up at Milford High School.

So could we tear our attention away from Corina for one panel so we can show this flippin’ bonfire? We can cut back to Corina afterwards as she stares into the flames, consumed with impulses to make the world BURN!

ETA: I just read of the sudden passing of Bill Bickel, aka CIDU Bill, who wrote the Comics I Don’t Understand blog. (It’s been over there among the Comics Mockage Posse links since the early days of TWIM.) I was not a regular reader, but I dipped in from time to time and enjoyed Bill’s unique angle on comics blogging. RIP CIDU Bill.

September 2, 2020

A New Thayer, Not in New Thayer

As much as Corina wants to be in Milford, I get the sense she really doesn’t belong there. First off, she’s wearing this tiny-ass backpack and asking about lockers. At son of teenchy’s high school there are lockers but nobody has enough time between classes to stop at them, so everybody carries all of their day’s materials in backpacks big enough to use on an extended Appalachian Trail hike. Then again, more of the class materials are becoming electronic and are accessed via school-issued Chromebooks. This is especially the case now since more and more schools (including son of teenchy’s) are going remote this fall. So maybe Corina is ahead of the curve here.

Where she isn’t – and where it appears she doesn’t really belong in Milford – is in keeping up this tough chick front. Wasn’t Corina’s problem with authority figures, not fellow students? So why mouth off to two girls who are innocently offering help? If either of them had any sense, they would take Corina’s reference to hiding a couple of bodies as a threat, report it to Dr. Pearl, and have Corina’s ass on the next bus back to Valley Mod so fast it’ll make her head spin. People have been expelled from Milford for less. But since Rubin has seen fit to carry her into a third story arc, she’s here for the duration. No softball this fall, so will she stay in shape playing soccer? Let’s hope so; <a href=”“> Coach Dawes</a> won’t put up with her shtick.

Rubin uses the bodies joke to transition us to football where, again, he and Whigham remain committed to detachment from reality. These two rando Mudlarks are already suited up in game unis and helmets fully decaled before even having played their first scrimmage. They’re scoping out a Will Thayer and how he fills out those pads. Is this a broad hint at steroid use? Isn’t that what we said about Saad Shamoun before he told Steve Boone he’d been working out with John Pascoe and Tipp Nunn?

metapost: Obviously I haven’t figured out yet how to embed hyperlinks in the new WordPress editor. Hopefully I can come back later today and work on that.

August 8, 2020

Low-mileage Arm, High-mileage Character


Note to Corina: if you’re on the clock, it doesn’t matter if you’re catching balls or not. So relax.

Note to True: if you’re paying your catcher by the hour, you might want to have her actually catch rather than stand around and listen to your spiel.

Note to Gil: Don’t you have some hooch to drink kids to teach golf? Stop wasting True’s and Corina’s time.

True throws heat, fans a lot but give up a lot of taters. So who does he turn into in the future? Robin Roberts? Max Scherzer? Aroldis Chapman? The guy dropping your Amazon package off on your doorstep? Lay minister at Milford First Baptist? He’s pretty good at eulogies and, after all, he is a Deacon. >rimshot<

metapost: It’s been a little over a month since my mishap in the mountains and, after follow-ups this past week with my GP and cardiologist, I’ve been given a clean bill of health – at least as far as the mishap is concerned. Still got a long row to hoe to get back in shape and I’ve gotta remember that I’m no spring chicken. My thanks to all you TWIMers for the kind thoughts and words. Here’s hoping I’m around for a few more seasons to come.

July 8, 2020

Metapost: Not Dead Yet

Filed under: Gil Thorp, metapost — teenchy @ 6:56 am

Gentle readers,

I’ll keep this short and sweet: This past Saturday morning I went on a hike in the Poconos with son of teenchy. We started out fairly early but by the time we were done the temperatures were in the mid-80s Fahrenheit. The combination of heat, elevation changes, insufficient hydration and my old ass being out of shape led me to dehydration and heatstroke.

The ER doctors initially thought I’d had a heart attack, but a series of tests showed that not to be the case. I was kept in hospital for observation and yet more tests from Saturday afternoon until Monday afternoon. Nice way to spend a holiday weekend.

I’m still pretty tired and sore and moving kinda slow but I’m still here. Around the dinner hour on Saturday, I wasn’t sure I would be. I’ve learned some lessons the hard way, and I’ve gotta start making some changes both physically and mentally to make the best of the time I have left.

On that note, if you all will be patient with me I’ll get a post up about today’s strip later in the day.

Thanks for reading, I remain

yhs teenchy

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