This Week in Milford

January 27, 2021

Jumping Into the Shallow End

Now we come to the part of a Gil Thorp season arc where the multiple plot lines come crashing together like a Jeep Compass and a pickup truck with a loose CD rolling around in the cab (or a GMC Safari and a Tri-Power Goat). It’s also the part where lines between protagonists and antagonists become a little less clear.

Take the case of Tessi. She’s a bit of a social butterfly, schmoozing it up in the locker room and at The Bucket. Kinda like one of those kids who start out running for student council and eventually end up in Congress. This somehow makes her “shallow” in the eyes of Corina (and maybe some others, if “some people” means “more people than the one person I’m talking to”), yet somehow the fact that the other girls are listening to Tessi recap a Kardashian show ep doesn’t make them equally shallow. Tessi’s less disputable flaw is an inability (or as Corina sees it, an unwillingness) to play defense, focusing more on her scoring and her stat line. Yo, Tessi, blocks and steals show up in the stats too!

About that Corina, then. She’s become Milford’s spunky righter of wrongs who, through the power of sheer snark and playing the new girl angle, managed to settle Gil’s quarterback controversy and increase turnout at Milford volleyball games concurrently. How’s it gonna play with her when Tessi moves in on her turf by suggesting Vic Doucette work the PA system for the girls’ games? Dare anyone else suggest a way to draw more attention to Lady Mudlark hoops? Not even Paloma Padilla and the Milford Pirate Network could do that!

meta: I’m a bit relieved to find out that it’s been reported that Henry Aaron’s death (see Saturday night’s soapbox) was due to natural causes. This, sadly and unsurprisingly, has not stopped numerous people from running with rumor.

meta2: Sorry so late with this post; lost my first draft and got caught up with work.

January 25, 2021

Sign My Bruise?

Filed under: huge earrings, metapost, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 7:15 pm

It’s Bucket time. Let’s drink milkshakes out of the highball glasses like ones in Mr. and Mrs. Robinson’s groovy drinkware collection. I get lost in all the lines and angles of The Bucket. Do those windows lean out or lean in? If you wear a wide check pattern you might blend into the background. Can I get a seat where I can stare out the window with my back to the room so everyone can stare at my bald spot? All this thinking is making me thirsty. Another round of rum & chocolate malteds here, my good man!

Okay, let’s get down to it. Corina thinks Tessi doesn’t work hard enough on defense. Her friends (are these the girls she got all her intel from on the volleyball team?) listen to her break down Tessi Milton’s tale of the tape. Hey what’s this? Corina is aware of Tessi’s deficiencies, but what really grinds her gears is the way Tessi presents herself as an achiever! Poor Corina. Mimi isn’t invested in developing well rounded players, nor does she care if anybody on the team needs an attitude adjustment. Looks like you’ll just need to get creative to take down big headed Tessi. Perhaps you should just tease her about her weight until she develops an eating disorder. (Yes I stole that joke straight from a Seinfeld episode. It’s not the first time.)

eta: I’ve added Mopped Up Thorp over in the links lists. You’ll see it under Comics Mockage Posse and Mudlarkish links. All hail Mopman!

January 23, 2021

CK Likes It Rough!

Nice bit of analysis from Rob yesterday, and a bit prescient too. Walking fire hydrant Corina convinced Mimi to let her slide over and guard the Central forward while Tessi (she does have a first name) Milton presumably shifted over to cover the off guard Corina had been covering. The strategy pays off as Corina’s presence so flusters the Lady Bobcat that she dislocates her right arm at the shoulder and recalls Alexa Watson a former Ottawa Senator clangs a shot off the underside of the rim.

It’s not entirely clear how Corina, now dubbed CK, ended up with the shiner, but the Central girl’s elbow probably had something to do with it. Taking one for the team seems to have put her back on the good side of her teammate whose eyeball exploded when she called Tessi by her last name. It also saved her having to put it on CK’s face herself during practice. Now let’s see if the Lady Mudlarks run with this idea, letting CK bang into the opponent’s star players while freeing up Tessi to shoot rainbows.

metapost: Late in the day and it’s not news anymore but I can’t let the death of Henry Aaron pass completely without comment. There’s nothing I can say about the Hammer that hasn’t already been said more eloquently by someone else (his NYT obituary, for example). As can be inferred from a lot of my posts, yhs spent a number of years living in Georgia. I got to know a number of people associated with the Braves during that time but, unfortunately, Hank was not one of them.

Henry Aaron was the target of a lot of racial hate in the early ’70s as he closed in on and surpassed Babe Ruth’s home run record. Sadly the news of his death is being similarly clouded, as he died less than three weeks after receiving the COVID-19 vaccine. Along with former Atlanta mayor Andrew Young, Aaron got vaccinated in public as a means of showing the vaccine was safe and of encouraging the public to get vaccinated. I haven’t seen that the cause of his death has been announced, but there are plenty of rumors flying that the vaccine played a role. Many people are skeptical of the vaccine’s efficacy and safety, and memories of the Tuskegee Experiment have created distrust of government-provided medical care among the population Aaron and Young sought to reassure. Until we know more about Aaron’s passing, we shouldn’t speculate, nor should we draw conclusions about the vaccine’s safety and efficacy regardless of his cause of death.

That’s about as much of a soapbox as I will get on tonight. The world has lost a great ballplayer, a great civil rights activist, and a great man.

December 28, 2020

Doug!

Filed under: Gil Thorp, metapost, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 7:27 am

Oh boy, we get three more panels of Doug Guthrie’s appeal to Gil be excused from practice for a Senior Kart race in Florida! Let’s just settle in and enjoy the splendor of Doug’s enthusiastic pitch to Gil conveying the thrills of Senior Kart racing.

Now Gil, being Gil, has to have a sarcastic response belittling Doug’s hobby as something for kids, like the kind of thing one does over in Central City! Gil dispenses his snark from the comfort of his bizarre office chair with oddly contoured padding. Maybe his chair is made from recycled volleyballs.

Au contraire, says Doug Guthrie. Senior Kart racing is not for kiddies! It’s a thrill ride at dangerous speeds and poses serious risks to ones tailbone! Yes Doug, that does sound like a party!

Do we need three more panels for Gil to deliberate? Maybe we need at least one for Gil to look Doug in the eye and ask him to never do whatever he’s doing in Panel 3 again. C’mon, attempt to be cool, Doug.

metapost: Here’s a little secret that only a few TWIM insiders know. nedryerson is just the account name I set up to comment here ages ago and I just continued to use it when I started blogging here. My actual name is Doug. (I mean, there’s really only one Ned Ryerson, amiright? Bing!) I just note this here because it’s weird writing my name over and over in this post. Also, this is the first character named Doug that I recall in the Gil Thorp strips I’ve seen, so that’s….something. I guess it had to happen eventually. Also, here’s a plug (a Doug plug) for Doug Benson’s podcast Wide World of Dougs. It’s kind of about Dougs, I think.

November 26, 2020

Metapost: Fifty Years Ago Today, Milford Won the Valley

Not sure how many of you TWIMers read the Curmudgeon today, but buried in the comments was a shout-out to The Daily Cartoonist’s running of the dailies from November 26, 1970. That day’s installment of Gil Thorp had the muddy Mudlarks slogging past Valley Tech to run the table for the first time in school history.

Noteworthy details: Robbie Cannon’s sock striping, Marty looking a lot like Elrod-era Mark Trail‘s Johnny Malotte, lettering that looks a lot like Gasoline Alley‘s, and Gil’s long, lithe, almost feminine hand.

While you’re digging around on that Daily Cartoonist page, enjoy the random misogyny, racial sterotypes, and inflation jokes. Still it’s nice to know that some things never change, like Gil lucking into victories. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

November 24, 2020

Metapost: Now In for tdrew, Joan Rivers

Filed under: metapost — teenchy @ 1:42 pm

I completely overlooked the fact that tdrew was going to be away today. Have been busy with work but will get a post up directly.

October 3, 2020

North Dallas Mudlarks

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp, metapost — teenchy @ 12:55 pm

Here we are in the waning minutes of Milford’s home opener against the non-conference Ballard Bruins, who traveled all the way from Louisville, Kentucky for this showdown. The Mudlarks had a comfortable 15-point lead until Will Thayer’s bungled exchange and a quick Bruin score cut the lead to eight. Why Ballard (no relation to Charlie Roh’s stepfather) didn’t go for two then is up for discussion.

In any event, Milford’s ground-and-pound offense should have no trouble running the clock out, right? Not with Terry Rapson under center, it would appear. For reasons known only to Rapson himself, he has decided to open up the game. The end-around not only catches Ballard on their heels but also Gil, who immediately sends in another up the gut call. Once again Rapson ignores Thorp and calls an even riskier pass play.

What are the odds the Bruins make a pick-six, go for two, tie the game and win it in OT? Or maybe they get the pick-six and the conversion, and Thayer comes back in to lead the Mudlarks to an OT win? Either way, look for Milford to blow its big lead and for Gil to permanently bench Rapson after this game. Marty Moon should have a blast with this one on the postgame show. Gil yanked Thayer after one flubbed handoff; why didn’t he yank Rapson after ignoring the first play he sent in? Why damage Thayer’s confidence by yanking him in the first place? When will Corina Karenna start at QB?

metapost: Dallas George made me think of North Dallas Forty, which naturally made me think of Mac Davis, who passed away this week. Enjoy this clip of Mac channeling his inner Dandy Don Meredith.

September 25, 2020

I Thought Only Steve Luhm Handled the Mops in Milford

Hey everybody! Joan Rivers here for robmize. Can we talk?

Seriously, I don’t know what Rapson’s beef is here. The game plan with him under center is no different than the game plan with Thayer under center. What did he expect Gil to do, let him air it out and run up the score? The Mudlarks aren’t Steve Spurrier’s Florida Gators, fuhcripessake. It’s already been established that Milford’s gonna be The Chance and Charlie Show this fall.

Rapp’s probably upset that Gil wasn’t making eye contact with him when he was giving him his marching orders. Wearing mime makeup under your helmet is bound to be a bit disquieting to even the most stoic of coaches, Terry. Then again, he might’ve been taking Gil at his word a bit too literally and is miffed that Gil didn’t let him drive the Milford activity bus back from Oakwood. (Who drives that bus, anyway?)

Terry just needs to relax on the ride home and get ready to see his quarterbacking rival get shot down by Corina at The Bucket. What, you weren’t missing another strip of Corina being a jerk to everyone? Yeah, me neither.

metapost: Like robmize, I will actually be away this weekend too. Hoping Ned, tdrew or maybe even the sorely missed timbuys will step up and take my Saturday post. Okay? Okay!

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