This Week in Milford

April 30, 2022

Marjie Ducey Never Lugged a Monster Camcorder Around. Neither Should You.

If you told me today’s strip had been written and drawn twenty years ago and fished out of a drawer for today, I wouldn’t have been surprised. Wonder what was going on in Milford twenty years ago today? I don’t even think this blog had been started yet.

April 30, 2002

Well whaddaya know, Milford was playing Central then too. The laws of gravity weren’t quite as rigid then as now. Okay, what about ten years ago, then? Well thankfully TWIM was in existence, and we were getting to know young Scooter Borden Jaxxxon Kiser.

Back to the present day and still trying to figure out this nonsense. Amazed to find out there’s an online version of the Star, and that it has employees who are dedicated to capturing video for that online version. That’s probably a lie the editor-in-chief told Heather to cover up the fact that it’s not only payroll but also headcount that’s been slashed since Marjie’s retirement. Probably told her this dinosaur of a camcorder was state-of-the-art, too. How naive is she to think that the “beast” takes better videos than today’s smartphones?

Naive enough to know that the only VHS player in town belongs to the Milford High Athletic Department. Between her and Kaz, they’ll go to the videotape and discover the little ruse G-Hammm, Scooter and Wilson have going on. That’s the only way this strip of anachronistic non sequiturs has any relevance to the plot.

meta: Thanks to tdrew for covering for me on Thursday. I owe you one.

April 27, 2022

meta: Network Issues

Filed under: metapost — teenchy @ 1:03 pm

My internet has been down sporadically today. If one of my colleagues doesn’t pick up my post, I’ll try to get it posted this evening. Thanks for understanding – t

April 18, 2022

Play Ball!

Filed under: actual action, baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, google nonsense, metapost — nedryerson @ 3:48 pm

Here we go, gang. After several weeks of lead up to baseball season, the Mudlarks hit the field against Westview and it’s a breeze. Eldrick Boston is plating runs left and right and Gonzo Aceves is baffling Westview hitters with some sort of mystery grip that involves maybe an extra thumb. 8-1 is the final and we can put that in the book. One strip and one road win. Now we can relax and get back to some Scooter and Gregg crap that can spread out to fill panel after panel before we see more actual action!

Let’s take a look at Gil out there in a coaching box (not clear which one). Gil is old school and needs no helmet. Sharp liners bounce right off his noggin. Speaking of sharp, what’s up with the pants? Are they uniform pants that were miscolored? Does Gil suit up? Maybe he soiled his Mudlark pants and had to borrow some from a Westview coach, or he went down to the local Sacino’s and rented some tux pants. Either way, he’s not looking to good out there, all stoop shouldered and barely able to proffer a hand for Eldrick to slap. I don’t think Eldrick is interested anyway.

Let’s hold our noses and check in on Scooter and Gregg (who’s a blonde again…he puts on a silver tone wig to get the senior discount at the Coffee Cantina?) to see what’s up with the wacky plan for Scooter to read the catcher’s signs then relay them to Gregg with some name calling scheme. What’s this, Scooter says Gregg must talk to the catcher? Has common sense prevailed and has Scooter decided his plan is stupid and overly complicated and that the best course of action would be that Gregg confront his vision issue directly? I doubt it, or else why would we have spent days building the dumb problem up and even more time having Scooter come up with his brilliant plan. I think Scooter thinks Gregg needs to tell his catcher what Scooter has planned. Maybe the catcher can throw in some complicated wrinkles of his own to make it even more ridiculous. Ol’ Gil the coaching statue won’t know what’s going on.

I like how this conversation is happening at a snack vending machine. I’ll bet Whigham has been dying to draw a vending machine for variety. Too bad we can’t see what snacking options exist. Are there Nutboys in there?

The next opponent is the Cooley Cardinals, presumably from Detroit, although the fictional high school from the film Cooley High would make for a fun cameo. Where would Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs play?

metapost: Due to my work schedule, I will probably be putting my Monday posts up in the afternoon going forward.

April 13, 2022

Today’s post coming late

Filed under: metapost — teenchy @ 1:44 pm

I’ve been pretty sick this morning, but I have a post lined up. Mea culpa.

March 16, 2022

“Coaching”? Bwahahahaha! >snort<

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to post today’s strip but I can’t stop laughing at it. Will update directly. >snort<

Phew! That took longer than I thought.

Of all Milford’s rivals Valley Tech is always the chippiest, and the girl with the blue ponytail does her best to keep up that tradition. First with the reach-in, which begs the question: If someone fouls Hollis, does that make her a Talley whacker? Then, having heard all the on-court talk about Hollis being a selfish, bossy snitch, VT girl fires off a sarcastic fascist salute. Heil Hollis!

All that pales in comparison to the chef’s kiss that is the last panel. Acquiescing to a player’s request to change positions and, well, letting her succeed there is considered “coaching”? Pretty low bar to clear in Milford to be sure, but that’s no bar at all. Maybe Gil agrees and he’s the one being sarcastic.

Oh, and when was the last time you saw anyone play racquetball? For me, I think it was during Poppy Bush’s administration. Even then, everybody’s racquets had strings.

February 12, 2022

I’m the CAPTAIN. At least for now.

I don’t know what the weather was like today where you are, gentle readers, but here in the Mid-Atlantic it was gorgeous, a glimpse of spring in dreary mid-February. Sunny, a few high clouds, temperatures in the high fifties Fahrenheit, even touching 60 in some places. What a day, then, to spend as much time outdoors as possible, hence my getting to today’s post very late in the day. As I write a winter weather advisory is in effect; snow is forecast to begin around 1 AM EST with a total of 1-3 inches expected, and temperatures will have plummeted about 40 degrees from current by this time tomorrow night. Fun while it lasted, but take heart: true spring is not that far away.

Let’s dive into today’s strip by first reading the US Air Force Academy Honor Code Oath:

We will not lie, steal, or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does. Furthermore, I resolve to do my duty and to live honorably, (so help me God).

The Honor Oath is administered during a ceremony associated with the Acceptance Day Parade, when basic cadets are formally recognized as fourth-class cadets after completion of Basic Cadet Training (BCT). Once the oath is administered, each cadet is expected to live up to the letter and spirit of the code.

That emphasis is mine. Acceptance Day marks the end of basic cadet training – six weeks of mental, physical and military training. USAFA cadets are expected to live up to the Honor Code after completion of BCT. The Honor Oath is not administered to USAFA appointees during their senior year of high school.

That aside, under what conditions can a USAFA appointee have his or her appointment revoked? My understanding from spending way too much time researching this evening is that, while this is rare, it can happen for medical (e.g., breaking a major bone), academic (e.g., failing a class the last semester of senior year), and conduct (e.g., DUI, drug/alcohol arrest/conviction) reasons. In this age of social media, putting pics of oneself in a cardboard bikini online might rate, but I can’t be certain about that.

Obviously this has really upset Hollis; her irises have been completely drained of color. I am also drained having spent the last couple of hours* trying to suss out whether Hollis is on an over-reacting ego trip or if there really is any merit to her notion that not narcing on her underaged-drinking teammate will result in the loss of her ticket to Colorado Springs. On the other hand, if she does narc on her underaged-drinking teammate, she may end up with the kind of injury that will lead to a medical revocation of her appointment.

I’m thinking mountains out of molehills, but will be glad to be proven wrong. Talk amongst yourselves as you wait for the Super Bowl to start.

* Seriously, I spent so much time looking at service academy forums that I forgot to rant about how much I hate how Whigham draws molecular structures.

Sunday evening metapost: I am grateful to TWIMer Philip who, as a former USAF officer, provided a perspective that no amount of online searching could have provided me. I am also grateful for your service.

January 8, 2022

“This is your captain speaking. I’ve turned off the ‘No Hogging’ sign…”

Job One as Lady Mudlarks captain: hand feeding your teammates pizza, apparently. At Casa Talley, Hollis floats a piece in front of McKinsey consultant Cathy Sasaki in an effort to snap her out of her trance and get some input on how to lead the team.

If Cathy’s math comprehension is any indication, Hollis may be better off ignoring her. It looks like only about a third of the pizza has been eaten at most; even if Hollis has been doing all the eating so far, there’s still enough left for Cathy to get her share and then some. Better Hollis lean on her apparent powers to make the pizza regenerate, fold her body in half, pull her head into her shoulders turtle style and make her cleavage magically disappear.

Cathy does have a point just the same. Off to a 1-2 start – all in non-conference games – isn’t quite time for soul searching or rallying the troops so much as its finding out who and what works on the team or doesn’t. That’s more Mimi’s job, so, um… yeah, maybe Hollis does need to figure out what she can do as captain to help the team.

meta: Kinda stinks that I used up all of my Sidney Poitier references here before the time came to actually pay him tribute. I thought Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner lent itself naturally to the Aaron Aagard saga but finally found a use for it during the Summer of Jaquadley. I even worked a They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! reference in very early during my time here. Maybe something will come to me, like the Milford basketball teams finding their stride in the heat of the night.

January 1, 2022

And Pranit Was His Name-o!

Welcome back and Happy 2022, TWIMers!

The year and the Milford boys’ basketball season starts off on a high note when Trevor Lawrence Gabe Landau kicks it outside to the one Mudlark who hasn’t been chilly stinking it up from beyond the three-point line, Pranit Smith. Pranit drains the trey, or so we’re told; no onomatopoeic “swish” of confirmation but no onomatopoeic “clang,” “clunk” or “thunk” either.

Cut to the bench where Gil has pulled off his jacket and given it to Kaz to wear for the final seconds, or at least it looks that way. This is the first we’ve seen of Kaz during this game, and maybe he had one on this whole time. Is Gil in shirtsleeves or still in his jacket? Did Pranit drain the color of of Gil’s jacket like he drained the trey? Are we gonna have to figure out the teams and the players from one panel to the next from here on?

meta: It pains me to have to post this, but as I write news comes over the wire of the death today of Deacon Dan Reeves. Bad enough that we’re reeling from the loss of Betty White and Celtics hero Sam Jones yesterday. Deacon Dan got a shout out from yhs in TWIM some time ago.

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