This Week in Milford

September 16, 2022

Dont shed a tear for me

Well folks I dont know if Im wantin to analyze this strip as its apparently about some issue that was covered 19 years ago; talk about recycled panels. well we’ve got recycled storylines as well. Hopefully next week we’ll be covering something like football, or maybe Gil will take up pickleball as I’ve heard all the old geysers are doing. In the meantime here’s an old classic from Paul Carrack that I used to listen to when I was working at the news agency on the midnight shift.

September 14, 2022

More Pronoun Trouble

Football season! Volleyball season!

Here we go again, but it’s not a dispute as to whether sportsball should take precedence over non-sportsball extracurriculars but the modern problem of remembering what pronouns people choose to identify themselves. Today, Toby née Tabatha identifies as he/him, Keri identifies as they/them, and Gil identifies as coach/Coach.

Now why are these three having this little confab at The Bucket of all places? (And why are they having coffee? Don’t they know there’s a cantina in town for that?) Are they here to pick up them after their postgame dinner? Are they serving as their chaperones for said dinner? Is it time for a jangle-off as Mel and Mimi see who can rattle their jewelry the loudest? Winner gets Gil – if she wants him, that is.

The unspoken tension here is so thick you could cut it with a butter knife, not unlike the one Mimi’s twisting into Mel as she deadnames Toby. Clearly she hasn’t forgotten that Mel wanted to be her at one time. Meanwhile Gil, still aware of that history and that Mimi is unhappy in the marriage, tries to play the supportive husband by throwing out a patronizing “sweetie.” Will Mimi have the divorce papers served publicly to Gil right here in The Bucket, the way Jason Sudeikis had Olivia Wilde served with custody papers while she was presenting at CinemaCon?

One thing is clear: despite Mel’s claim, in Milford, nothing is the same as it was.

edit: Oops! I forgot to identify the players from the Dolphins’ No-name Defense I posted this past Saturday!

Front, reclining: Lloyd Mumphord, CB

Front row, left to right: Bob Matheson, LB; Bill Stanfill, DE; Bob Heinz, DT; Manny Fernandez, DT; Vern Den Herder, DE

Center: Nick Buoniconti, LB

Back row, left to right: Dick Anderson, SS; Curtis Johnson, CB; Mike Kolen, LB; Doug Swift, LB; Tim Foley, CB; Jake Scott, FS

September 9, 2022

Bonfire? No, volleyball..

Filed under: confusing dialogue, Milford Alumni, Pissy faced minor character, Volleyball — robmize2013 @ 6:03 pm

As we wait anxiously for the annual bonfire to kick off the football season (if there is any) we hone in on a JV volleyball game coached by Cami Ochoa, who was just a student lo a few months ago. Yes all of us go through the thought of someone younger then us in a leader position as we get further away from high school (the school principal at mine is only 2 years older then me, and the football coach is 17 years younger). Its tricky to have respect for someone who used to be your colleague but good coaches and leaders draw the line between friendship and coaching your friends. I never wanted to get too close to any of my bosses or players I coached/managed. And I hope Cami follows that edict. But we’ll see.

Dont know why the team is proud of Cami yet. Unless its for being hired to coach them at such a young age.

Then in P3 we have a suggestion that ‘they’ dont care if its her first game. Who, the other team, or her players that just said they did? Im adding ‘confusing dialogue’ to our list of categories, as this was a staple of the old regime. Say one thing and mean up to 3 different things. Bada bing bada boom. And we’ll see if miss orange hair becomes one of the troublemakers/protaganists for the fall stroyline.

Myself, I’d prefer blocking and tackling. And a bonfire.

July 30, 2022

Leaving the Light On for Gil

Midday Saturday, I don’t see robmize’s post and I’m in between errands so I’m gonna do a twofer. Thanks for covering for me while I was island-hopping, rob.

July 29, 2022

It doesn’t look like Gil took the crazy bet from Hairy Hands Martinez. Why would he? If Martinez is new at Valley Tech, how has he been tired of watching Gil win the COTY award “every year”? We need a bit more backstory to buy anything Luke’s spouting. No doubt it’s the liquor talking, which is why Bethany the barkeep is cutting everybody off, including Gil.

As Gil saunters off through the bar’s doorway, Bethany gazes wistfully in his direction. In her tiny voiced farewell are traces of a desire to make something else stiff for Gil besides an old-fashioned. Nice tiny, dashed word balloon by the Chief there; can’t recall the last time I saw one of those from him.

July 30, 2022

Can’t recall the last time we saw the Thorp kids, either. Some posters on the ‘mudgeon suggested that it was in the Christmas 2008 strip. A lot can happen in thirteen-plus years (I’m still holding out for the convent and military school angle, myself) so this retcon better have them back as young adults and not preteens, is all I’m saying.

The Valley COTY award ceremonies weren’t held in Milford, apparently but somewhere where there’s an Embassy McCormick Suites Inn. Wherever it is, that’s where Gil’s been staying at least for the past night… plus? Emmett Tays drops in on Gil in the breakfast room to drop off the COTY golden butt plug he left on the podium the night before, gets the lowdown on the kerflulffle with Martinez, then opens the can of worms by asking about la famiglia Thorp. Sit back and order another round, gentle readers; we’re in for a whole lotta backstory next week.

July 23, 2022

Soiled it!

Dang, Gil should’ve held off on that last glass of Long Island iced tea water and checked his Depends before he got up on stage. Now he’s gotta slink off stage before he soils his reputation more than himself.

Presumably “the script” has something to do with why Mimi and/or the Thorp kids aren’t there to see Gil take his victory lap. This is gonna play out in slow motion (kinda like Boo Radley’s fatal car crash) and should at least be as interesting as a summer golf plot.

Before we pivot in that direction, let’s focus on the story that set up today’s cliffhanger. Emmett Tays was in an abusive household, and all Gil did was to tell him in so many words not to take it out on his teammates? Compare/contrast to the action he took with Aaron aand Maamaa Aagaard and Tiki Jansen (with Hadley V. Baxendale’s help) and chew on that one for a while.

Anyhoo, I’m here for the retcon.

New category: A Tinge of Regret, to reflect Gil’s current state of mind.

July 15, 2022

Old days, good times I remember…

I dunno what to make of the new writer so far; I know its a small sample size but… we havent done a thing to advance the plot again; all we’re doing is reviewing some old stories ex-players are telling to prove what a great coach Gil Thorp is, when the reality is he’s pretty much sucked eggs since most of us have started writing this blog. and if he thinks I’m giving him a pass he’s in for a rude awakening.

Of course they didnt have red uniforms years ago either but we wont dwell on that stuff. I suppose the writer is establishing Gils credibility as a leader of young men, so further stories have some weight from the past. I dont think any regular readers need made-up old situations that may or may not have actually occurred in the strip, and Lord knows there’s no way the writer had time to read through all the old strips available in book form or online. So he’s kinda winging it as if we dont notice nothing is happening for a week. Ha..

Anyway.. it appears the player Tays may have had some domestic issues, but, Gil, other players hit too. And we just got through a story where Gil was the last one to notice a players shortcomings, and now the writer thinks we’re gonna make a hero outa Gildo because of some old story that NOBODY can vouch for except Tays and Gil??

Not in this blog pardner. We need to see what you’ve done for me lately. Hey, a song!

September 22, 2021

#blownoffthorp

So much for that breather! The Mudlarks slow things down so much that night turned into day. Milford scores 13 more points after switching from the vaunted Delaware Wing-T and hangs half a hundred on Oakwood. It’s a wonder Tod Andrews (that is Tod, innit?) isn’t giving Gil a piece of his mind for running up the score on his hapless Owls.

Up in his crate, Evil Spock Marty gleefully calls the game. No doubt he believes Marjie Ducey’s departure to warmer pastures has cemented Milford’s status as his town. Marty had better keep his head on a swivel, though, since Heather Burns is on the scene quicker than you can tweet #radioisadyingmedium.

Heather’s thumbs are quicker than Marty’s lungs, and her approach to sports reporting is fresher than Shane Beamer’s postgame presser after the Georgia-South Carolina game. She’s got no time for Gil’s old man football coachspeak; she’s off to track down the man of the hour, Chance “Don’t Call Me Blowtop” Macy, and give him a squeeze.

Careful where you grab Chance, Heather: five years’ age difference might not mean much to the cruisers at Barney’s Pub (speaking of Evil Spock Marty) but when it’s a recent high school graduate and a high school senior, well, let’s just say it’s not always looked upon kindly.

September 4, 2021

Heather Burns Throws Worse Than a Girl!

I mean, come on! Look at that form! Gil tosses Heather a foil-wrapped chocolate football, she grips it like a loofah and throws it back to him all misshapen? If she can do that to a football, maybe she could have been the S&C coach.

Finally Rubin gets around to addressing the 125-pound tight end in the room – conflict of interest – but he can’t come out and say it literally. Instead he has to use the same euphemism he did during last year’s QB controversy. What possible role could he have for Heather that doesn’t involve her actually coaching the Mudlarks? Lemme guess: he’ll coerce her into writing some kind of “insider football tips” column in the Star along with her regular reporting. I’m sure he called her boss Dale and cleared it all ahead of time; this is his town after all. Be prepared to see Gil require his players to read Heather’s column daily, maybe even going so far as to require them to buy the Star off the rack or even subscribe. Can you imagine Gil helps build Heather’s resume and single-handedly boosts the flagging circulation of a dying medium? The mind boggles!

Hang on for this thrill ride: it surely will be more surprising than Gil trotting out the Delaware Wing-T yet again.

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