This Week in Milford

August 28, 2020

Is that how you carry a golf bag?

Filed under: ?, baseball, Just plain sad, Milford Alumni, Milford Idiots, Where is Milford? — robmize2013 @ 5:36 pm

Now we get a rehashing of the events of 3 weeks ago (at least) from our friend Corinna about the ballgame/picnic yadda yadda yadda. We really need to hear that again today only because True didnt know about it, but thats a dumb ass reason to move to a city! For free food. Yep. Otherwise the town blows, but that free food once in a lifetime sure sold me. Sheesh.

True’s outfit is interesting- a black t-shirt under a Wake Forest shirt with the sleeves cut off. Why not just wear one or the other? Its still August for chrissakes. Thats the best he can do for that big pro contract huh? And the Rays hat showing off his pro team.

What the hell are they doing with golf bags sitting around talking? If thats only an equipment bag, how much shit do you need to play catch? So many odd things in 1 strip.

Then the best part- Panel 3- True says his college (on that shirt) HAD to fly him in? To Milford? For what? To work out?? With who? Some chick going to remedial school? Or an official baseball catcher assigned to him by WF? And most of all, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT CORINNA SAID IN P2??

So many dots to connect here and I’m just dying to know what Rays official looked at the plane schedule out in Tampa and came up with Milford as True’s destination. Chicago? Nope. Nashville? Nada. Hey how about even Atlanta? Oh no. No way do they have anyone hanging around with a catchers mitt that looks like a hat. Milford it is.

Finally – is True pointing at his shirt when he refers to WF? Again? Didnt he point at his hat talking about Tampa?

2 morons. 1 non-existent storyline. Tune in tomorrow when his official catcher shows up on the 19th hole.

August 26, 2020

The Jedi Mind Trick As Recruiting Tool

Filed under: baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Alumni, Mimi Thorp, softball — teenchy @ 10:42 am

[Insert bow-chicka-wow-wow here]

Recruit you? No. Groom you? Hmmmmmmmmmmmaybe…”

“Whaddaya mean, ‘groom’?”

“Well, look at that hair of yours. Just yesterday you had a bob, and today you’re rocking a mullet. Besides, the only way to convince players to come play for Milford is to actively encourage them not to come play for Milford.

“No, if I’m recruiting anyone, it’s the guy on my – er, our mound. Say, True, you’ve filled out quite nicely. Bet you could fill up these big boxes. (Seriously, is Whigham ever gonna be able to draw batter’s boxes consistently?) I’ve got an itch that needs scratching – I mean, a pool that needs tending. What’re you doing in your free time this summer?”

“Well, Mrs. Coach Thorp…”

“Call me Mimi.”

“Well, Mrs. Coach Mimi, I was just gonna swing by CVS and pick up my mom’s Zoloft prescription then go back to the country club and get some more pointers from Mr. Coach Thorp. But first I gotta pay Corina here for this catching session.”

“Wait, you’re paying her to catch for you?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Well that settles that. Corian, or whatever your name is, you’ve forfeited your high school eligibility, so you won’t be playing for Milford or anywhere else in the Valley for that matter. Come, True, let’s see how else you’ve grown.”

August 22, 2020

Time for a Mental Health Break

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Milford Alumni — teenchy @ 1:57 pm

 Wordpress has forced us over to a new block-editing interface so I haven’t the foggiest as to how this will come out looking like once I’m done composing it. That said, let’s check in on the gossipy game of telephone that has become Gil Thorp.

Nosy parker diner waitress Maureen seems to think it’s her business to enlist multiple people to help convince Corina Karenna that she and her troubled mom should move to Milford. Now this little drum circle has expanded to include Mrs. Art Standish, mother of True and whose first name I don’t recall having been shared in this strip. (If it has, I’ll surely come back and edit this post.)  I also don’t recall having been given enough of a background on Mother Standish to know that she’d had bouts of depression and that any symptoms of those bouts had manifested themselves in the strip.

That’s not to say depression couldn’t be a logical aspect of her personality. After all, if I was married to a big windbag who based the family’s choice of home on whether the local high school football program was committed to poaching players to help showcase his kid and to polishing his brand, I might not be a complete ray of sunshine either. I also don’t recall seeing behavioral healthcare being mentioned when Standish pere et fils were casing Milford. Well, if we’re lucky we might just get more exposition on exactly how Mothers Standish and Karenna became depressed.

August 21, 2020

Wasted on the way

Filed under: boring memories, Maureen, Milford Alumni, Milford Weirdos, oversize objects — robmize2013 @ 8:23 pm

First thanks to teenchy for filling in for me during my vacation – this time to Portland Maine. Very scenic; anytime you can go near an ocean it adds to the views tenfold. Even had a shark out there; (well, 80 miles north but whats that to a shark?) I think he was looking for me in Myrtle Beach and heard I was coming back to the ocean, so he swam north. Hey- maybe he can make a cameo in this strip and swallow these characters. He’s way smarter then any of them.

I dont play frisbee very often but I normally try to catch it with one hand, or at least hold my hands CLOSER TOGETHER then this dude. He looks like he’s describing the mouth of the shark he saw in these waters.

No idea how Alexa knows Corrina so well she can describe all her qualities already..

and we’re back to when CK was 9 again. For perspective, that was only about 7 or 8 years ago. I think a summer storyline should be more cheery then this morose tale that is dragging us down like the muck on their feet slowly sinking them into the lake, until all we see is Corinna’s hat floating on the water.

Even the shark is above this dreck.

**METAPOST** Im apparently still on vacation because I copied the strip from Wednesday instead of today. I just replaced it with the correct strip but my commentary is from the Wednesday strip. Today its Maureen getting her nose in everything but the gravy boat at the buffet table. CK visits True for another practice session and True invites her to follow him to his moms house. Too hard to just call her on a cell phone huh? Hey- call Maureen and order a cheeseburger– the carrier pigeon can deliver it.

August 19, 2020

Plan 9 from Town Park Lake

gt08192020

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. 

Today we find Corina, Alexa and Phoebe have pushed up their pedal pushers, waded into Town Park Lake, and stumbled into the shooting of a remake of Plan 9 from Outer Space. A perfect backdrop for the backstory of how Corina became so incorrigible. Alexa continues interviewing her replacement as Pheeb’s BFF her hard line of questioning, and quickly finds a crack in Corina’s armor. None of the authority figures in Corina’s younger life listened to her when she tried to tell them something was wrong with mommy, so now Corina won’t listen to any of the authority figures in her current life.

Okay, now that that’s settled, let’s move this plot forward. How deep into a pitcher of Long Island iced tea do you think Gil and True are at the MCC’s 19th hole?

At least Corina didn’t call Alexa Phoebe’s sidekick.

August 8, 2020

Low-mileage Arm, High-mileage Character

gt08082020

Note to Corina: if you’re on the clock, it doesn’t matter if you’re catching balls or not. So relax.

Note to True: if you’re paying your catcher by the hour, you might want to have her actually catch rather than stand around and listen to your spiel.

Note to Gil: Don’t you have some hooch to drink kids to teach golf? Stop wasting True’s and Corina’s time.

True throws heat, fans a lot but give up a lot of taters. So who does he turn into in the future? Robin Roberts? Max Scherzer? Aroldis Chapman? The guy dropping your Amazon package off on your doorstep? Lay minister at Milford First Baptist? He’s pretty good at eulogies and, after all, he is a Deacon. >rimshot<

metapost: It’s been a little over a month since my mishap in the mountains and, after follow-ups this past week with my GP and cardiologist, I’ve been given a clean bill of health – at least as far as the mishap is concerned. Still got a long row to hoe to get back in shape and I’ve gotta remember that I’m no spring chicken. My thanks to all you TWIMers for the kind thoughts and words. Here’s hoping I’m around for a few more seasons to come.

August 7, 2020

Lary Who?

Filed under: baseball, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Alumni — robmize2013 @ 8:41 pm

True details why he isnt playing football, and its pretty much like almost every other pigskin superstar failure– always hurt. But you can get pneumonia playing tiddly winks, True.

Then we really get into the wild and crazy world of comics– oh I’ll just try baseball one day. Yes we know he has a great (right) arm, but the farther you get in the baseball chain, the less you can just depend on natural ability because the better players at higher levels can hit a fastball no matter how hard its thrown.

How long did he go to college and get all these injuries, then still have time, one spring, to not only Start playing baseball, but get good enough to play college ball and get drafted? I mean, dont you only get 4 years of eligibility?

And how many people point at their Cap when saying they tried baseball? As if the listener didnt connect wearing a Rays hat with being a big league ball player? Oh wait, I know a thousand dopes walking around right this minute with baseball caps on who couldnt play dead if they were escorted onto a diamond by Willie Mays himself. So why the hell is he pointing at his cap?? Really looks cool huh?

Oh yeah, and Lary Sorenson the announcer, who played dreadfully for the Cubs in the 80’s….. https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/sorenla01.shtml

……and who True wouldnt know from Adam since he retired 32 years ago, helped him become who he is, which is … nobody at the moment. Boy, you get taught by a major league mope like Lary Sorenson, you deserve to have a GIRL catching for you to demonstrate your limited baseball prowess to a guy who’s on summer vacation teaching golf to kids.

The only thing I have in common with Lary Sorenson is… we both have 1 R in our first names. He was as forgettable as this TV show:

August 5, 2020

Corina Karenna Will Have None of Your Mansplaining

Filed under: baseball, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces, Milford Alumni, Pissy faced Gil — teenchy @ 8:35 am

gt08052020

Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit. Rubin has given Corina a bit of a backbone in today’s strip. You think he’s finally been paying attention to all our comments about his numerous Bechdel test fails and his killing off of practically the only strong female character he’d created in ages? Yeah, me neither.

Still, I’m gonna enjoy her dissmissing Gil for as long as it happens. I’d also enjoy it if she blew off True and told him to just tell her what’s coming and throw the damn ball. She’s here to catch, not learn whatever signs he’s making up for the day. Besides, isn’t it the catcher’s job to put down the signs and the pitcher’s to just nod or shake his head then pitch? True can brush his chest as much as he wants to as long as he doesn’t brush Corina’s.

Oh, who am I kidding? Corina’s probably getting set up as another spunky, short-haired love interest for True. Let’s just hope she doesn’t end up driving a Jeep Compass. BTW, take a gander at P3 in that last hyperlink. Looks like True did remember where his future was, contrary to Gil’s advice. Mr. Coach Thorp needs to stagger back to the MCC and maintain his buzz while he pretends to show grammar school kids how to swing a golf club.

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