This Week in Milford

November 21, 2020

Boys will be boys

Filed under: Coach Kaz, football, kaz-bot, Kelly Krystek, Milford Idiots — robmize2013 @ 5:43 pm

As the tension mounts between the 2 erstwhile signalcallers solely due to hoping a chick who doesnt give a hoot about football likes each of them more, Marty notices whats going on and says its a first for the Milford program to have 2 players not getting along. He’s sure developing Alzeimers if he thinks its never happened before in 50 years of this dreck.

Hey a guy who fought a time or 2 in his day is trying to break them up. Kaz surely remembers his referee appearance in 2013 with Gil vs Herk the Mauler:

https://gilthorp.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/082113.gif

…or his boxing academy in 2007…

kaz-punch-academy.gif
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So at any rate he’s got the experience if the 2 QB’s wanna settle it in the ring.

Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving!

November 2, 2020

Advantage, Dallas?

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Milford Idiots, Prairie Style Windows, Volleyball — nedryerson @ 4:17 am

Rapson is rounding up a volleyball posse so CK will talk to him. That sounds like another hairbrained scheme. Why bring other guys? Is Rap afraid of being seen by himself at a volleyball game?

What’s the story with Dallas? Is he part of the Rapson crew or was he already a volleyball stalwart? Maybe Dallas has been stalking CK at the volleyball games all along after he clocked her in her catching gear after he delivered pizza to that famous baseball game. I’ll definitely root for Dallas to win the CK sweepstakes, even if the prize is ambiguous at this point. Maybe if someone plays their cards right, they will get an invite to a Friday night game of canasta. Oh, but what about those pesky football games? Score one for Dallas (if he’s not on the football team.)

October 24, 2020

Shush Me on the Bus

While there have been a few comics that have addressed the current global pandemic (including, ironically, that other sports-themed daily Tank McNamara), most have not. To date, the Valley has been virus-free, but looking at today’s strip I’m beginning to think Whigham has been influenced in some way by the pandemic’s impact on sports.

I mean, look at those kids on the Milford activity bus. With so little space between the rows of seats they’ve gotta be cardboard cutouts, don’t they? Their conversation is pretty two-dimensional too. The whole lot of them are adding fuel to the fire of the quarterback controversy that isn’t, except for Danny Bonaduce down in front there who’s slowly realizing that it’s not Shirley Jones behind the wheel. Who drives the Mudlark School Bus, anyway? Gil? Kaz? Cheech? Whichever coach isn’t driving needs to back there and nip this crap in the bud.

October 17, 2020

Say what??

Filed under: ?, actual action, football, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — robmize2013 @ 5:01 pm

Lets ..keep..our..guys..off..the..field…? Apparently Will thinks if nobodys on the field Madison will lose? If there was any Exhibit A of concusssions having an effect on the brain this is it.

Yes I get his point but its weird to say the least. What he means is ‘lets control the clock and limit Madisons possessions’ since apparently they are a high powered offense. Thats how you beat a team when they can score and you cant. Even though Milford just proved they can put up points in a hurry with the BACKUP QB playing who just got disciplined for being EXACTLY the type of QB the Mudlarks need in this game!?! As Ned Ryerson would say — “Am I right or am I right?”

Yeah sure you can hold the ball with your running game but jesus, part of coaching is giving your team the BEST chance to win every game.

Air Jimmy huh? You still gotta play some D, and if the other 11 guys suck, your 12th man is of Absolutely no use to you!! 1 outa 12 aint gonna cut it people! Do you hear me Thorp??

P3 – what the hell is on Martys screen?

In a different life, Jimmy was a rock singer:

October 14, 2020

Just Your Typical Three Panels of Obnoxiousness. Nothing to See Here.

Filed under: football, hideous scar faces, lame jokes, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 10:18 am

No, really, you don’t want to see this. Today’s visuals are not for the squeamish. P1 looks like it came straight out of a Punch and Judy show. In P2 it appears that Corina is wearing her underwear on the outside, which in itself would be enough to elicit a head bobble and exploding elbow. Only P3 offers us some respite from the visual discomfort, with Rapp assuming the electric football “backer” pose.

The dialogue accompanying these visuals does little to advance the plot. Rapson is a smarmy, flirty close talker; Corina is her usual smirking smart-assed self; Thayer rubs Rapp’s flameout and benchwarmer status in his face; and Rapp puts on a gung-ho show in an attempt to get lookout blocks from his linemen put himself back in Gil’s good graces. There’s enough people being jerks to one another here to turn this into a Dustin strip.

October 7, 2020

Alternative Facts Come to the Milford Locker Room

Well, not necessarily alternative, nor revised. Let’s just call them edited and leave it at that.

Of course lineman boy and whoever else was dressed out for the game knows Gil was gonna cut Terry a new one when he called audibles not once but twice. What did he expect Rapson to say? That Gil recognized his inherent superiority over Thayer and intended to make him the permanent starter? If it’s hot gossip he wants, he should just go to the diner and hit up Maureen.

Speaking of Thayer, he’s pretty quiet there on the bench next to lineman boy. Basking in the knowledge that the starting job is his to lose for the rest of the season, and the only snaps Rapson’s gonna see are the ones at the receiving end of his teammates’ towels as he collects them for the laundry Gil will be making him do as punishment? Or plotting out his next smooth lines to lay on Corina and snappy comebacks to her inevitable wiseassery? Let’s go to The Bucket and find out. Corina’s not gonna be happy when she finds out the food there ain’t free, that’s for sure.

September 9, 2020

Spirits Among Us

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 10:09 am

Oh look who’s finally popped his head in at Milford High. Where the hell was Marty when all that ridiculousness was going down in Milford last spring? Drying out in rehab somewhere? You just know he would have run with that whole “the mayor” situation like a kid with a pair of scissors. Either he would’ve been anti-zero-tolerance and given Gil hell for not sticking up for Mike Knappe or pro-zero-tolerance and given Gil hell for not drilling the zero-tolerance message into Mike before the butter knife incident. He would’ve had a field day with the Milford v. Valley Modified “scrimmage,” too – how it made a mockery of high school sports, exposing the Mudlarks to potential injury in a game that didn’t count; how it mocked, patronized and denigrated the Valley Mod kids all at once; and how it was even allowed to be scheduled in the first place. Finally he would’ve had something to say about the Knappe kid getting his admission revoked by State and magically reinstated via Thorpian sleight-of-hand.

Instead Marty now shows up in time for Mouseketeer Roll Call and one step ahead of Marjie Ducey, who must’ve clued him in about those freebie sloppy joes that get handed out during the preseason. He’s used his keen powers of observation to deduce that there’s a competition at quarterback between two guys who (as astute TWIMer Jive Turkey observed this past weekend) would probably get fragged if they were military officers in combat. Marty and Gil share a Milky Way bar an interest in getting blitzed themselves, hence their mutual dropping of the code word “spirited*” in conversation. After practice, they’ll go their separate ways to tie one on: Gil to the MCC or home to the company of Mimi, Marty to the end of the bar at Barney’s Pub or back home, in either case alone.

* It came to my attention after composing this post that the title, which I thought was a common phrase, is also the title of a movie, the plot of which is best described as “Christian paranormal thriller.”

September 2, 2020

A New Thayer, Not in New Thayer

As much as Corina wants to be in Milford, I get the sense she really doesn’t belong there. First off, she’s wearing this tiny-ass backpack and asking about lockers. At son of teenchy’s high school there are lockers but nobody has enough time between classes to stop at them, so everybody carries all of their day’s materials in backpacks big enough to use on an extended Appalachian Trail hike. Then again, more of the class materials are becoming electronic and are accessed via school-issued Chromebooks. This is especially the case now since more and more schools (including son of teenchy’s) are going remote this fall. So maybe Corina is ahead of the curve here.

Where she isn’t – and where it appears she doesn’t really belong in Milford – is in keeping up this tough chick front. Wasn’t Corina’s problem with authority figures, not fellow students? So why mouth off to two girls who are innocently offering help? If either of them had any sense, they would take Corina’s reference to hiding a couple of bodies as a threat, report it to Dr. Pearl, and have Corina’s ass on the next bus back to Valley Mod so fast it’ll make her head spin. People have been expelled from Milford for less. But since Rubin has seen fit to carry her into a third story arc, she’s here for the duration. No softball this fall, so will she stay in shape playing soccer? Let’s hope so; <a href=”https://gilthorp.wordpress.com/2016/09/14/those-soccer-balls-seem-very-large/“> Coach Dawes</a> won’t put up with her shtick.

Rubin uses the bodies joke to transition us to football where, again, he and Whigham remain committed to detachment from reality. These two rando Mudlarks are already suited up in game unis and helmets fully decaled before even having played their first scrimmage. They’re scoping out a Will Thayer and how he fills out those pads. Is this a broad hint at steroid use? Isn’t that what we said about Saad Shamoun before he told Steve Boone he’d been working out with John Pascoe and Tipp Nunn?

metapost: Obviously I haven’t figured out yet how to embed hyperlinks in the new WordPress editor. Hopefully I can come back later today and work on that.

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