This Week in Milford

January 10, 2018

It Is What It Is or That’s What Everybody Says

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Welp, looks like Jorge is going to fit right in and we’ve managed to sensitively (and quite succinctly too!) treat on one of the worst ongoing humanitarian crises in our nation’s history in a mere three panels.

I haven’t the patience for this today and previous drafts of this post were rather more profane.

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January 3, 2018

All Is Forgiven

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Just Plain Awesome, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots, Pissy faced Gil — timbuys @ 10:20 am

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You know, if the next week of strips is just Gil and Marty getting progressively more aggressively glib with their repartee, then I am all in.

I won’t even point out things like Gil’s ‘Thorf’ nameplate or his stick figure team portraits or the comically low back on the chair he’s making Marty sit in.

Yeah, I wouldn’t. But you go right ahead.

January 2, 2018

Is It Just Me Or Did I Miss The Grift?

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Seriously, though, other than a little concussion scare mongering in furtherance of Rick and UG’s careers, in addition to some professional and financial distress, UG didn’t seem to be all that nefarious, goatee notwithstanding.

And it looks like we’ll be kicking the New Year off with Aaaaaaron Aaaaargard and continuing with Rick Soto. I vaguely recall Gil’s intervention there being similarly sensitive and compassionate. C’mon, Gil. You just fractured a household. Don’t strain yourself patting your own back. And, Kaz, c’mon, keep that kind of talk for back in the coaches’ offices.

December 30, 2017

He goes on after some lip-sync chicks

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On this waxed up floor and these painted halls
My dad showed up and grew some balls
Tonight, tonight, we’re gonna run the veer
My creepy uncle’s outta here

New Thayer had us down six-oh
Then we got the veer to flow
Took a hit and I got up slow
Knocked out? Rick Scott didn’t know
Doctors said I was good to go
Football, not just talent shows
Gary told mom to say “no”
Told me to play talent shows

Well Uncle Gary never said “‘Bye, Rick”
Always knew he was kind of a dick
I’m feelin’ good since that knee I took
Oh, Gary, always givin’ that look

First I had a mild sprain
Doc made me skip a game
Coach Thorp made me take it slow
Least I got to sing at home
Uncle Gary salts the mine
Makes a YouTube video
Just wanna play the line
Not just play at talent shows

Well it’s the slowest year in my life I guess
In just two weeks, it’s Valley Tech
Season’s been a wreck…

Can they roll
Without Soto?
Coach Thorp, he can use the phone
‘Cause my mom, well, she don’t know

Might be playin’ in the snow
Week before the talent show
My old man still calls me “kiddo”
We might still play in March, you never know

It’s too late for playdowns, here we go…

(profuse apologies P. Westerberg)

 

 

 

 

December 28, 2017

There’s a 10-cent Big Guy Deposit Fee in Milford

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As this strip stumbles forward to end the football season and the calendar year simultaneously, the slapdash approach to tying up loose plot ends prompts me to approach today’s post in a similar fashion.

“That big kid?” Maybe Gil should’ve signed up for baseline testing himself.

Nice to see Marcie from Peanuts grew up and landed a teaching gig. Is she teaching math (cosines?) or opera (Così fan tutte)? That big kid can sing, or so we’ve been told.

The part of Ricardo “Call Me Richard” Soto, Sr. is being played today by Ivan Reitman-era Bill Murray.  I reckon Billy was able to tear himself away from Mr. Bakst at The Gin Joint. YHS was unable to make it to Charleston this Christmas and so, not unlike Marty Moon, is drinking alone.

December 27, 2017

The Denouement Continues Apace

Metapost: So, uh, I was playing around with WordPress settings and somehow marked this private. I posted this yesterday evening. Promise! – TimP

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Blech. Bring on basketball I guess.

Minus Questions:

What the hell kinda shoes are everyone wearing in Panel two?

How the heck are we supposed to read Connie’s expression in panel three? Couldn’t we at least have gotten a narration box? “After Gary storms out” or something?

 

That song is 51 years old? Huh.

Step 1: Identify The Cash, If Any, On Offer

Filed under: freak hands, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, Pissy faced Ricky Soto — timbuys @ 11:40 am

December 26, 2017

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Sorry for being AWOL yesterday folks. Whoever thought putting Christmas and New Year’s Day on a Monday was a good idea seriously dropped the ball.

Anyway, shocking big reveal that Richard ‘Papa’ Soto has come to lay the smack down at, in Wednesday’s big reveal, Gil’s behest.

I’ll be back later in the day with today’s strip. Until then, have at it!

Bonus point: Anyone else notice that UG reacts much like a puff adder when threatened?

Minus point: I think my wife would ask what the hell I was doing if I hugged her with Richard’s fingers under the scapula technique.

December 21, 2017

I Need to JO

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Jo Dawg, I heard you like joe so I put “JO” on your joe mug so you can read “JO” while you drink joe

*****

 

Well, the talk on the street
Says you coach Rick Soto
This brother of mine
Says he shouldn’t play no mo’

I need to know (I need to know)
I need to know (I need to know)
If you think he shouldn’t play
Then you better say so
I need to know (I need to know)
I need to know (I need to know)
Because I don’t know who’s wrong, him or my son
If I’m needin’ to wait, if I’m needin’ a spine
I need to know (I need to know)
I need to know (I need to know)

Who would’ve thought that
I’d listen to this guy?
I’ll be right back
I gotta call Dubai

I need to know (I need to know)
I need to know (I need to know)
If you think he oughta play
Then you better say so
I need to know (I need to know)
I need to know (I need to know)
Because I don’t know who’s wrong, him or my son
If I’m needin’ to wait, if I’m needin’ a spine
I need to know (I need to know)
I need to know (I need to know)
Wow!

*apologies to the late great TP

Wish I knew how to get my thumb to migrate to the other side of my palm like Gil has. He must be double-jointed and Hungarian.

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