This Week in Milford

November 16, 2017

Football Season! Music Season!

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Ricky Ricardo Soto: Would you like me to sing now or wait till football season’s over?

Uncle Gary: Sing now! Sing now!

RRS: You keep outta this! You don’t have to sing now!

UG: I do so have to sing now!

I demand that you let me sing now!

Let’s run through that again.

RRS: Okay. Would you like me to sing now or wait till football season’s over.

UG: Sing now. Sing now.

RRS: You keep outta this. You don’t have to sing now.

UG: Ha! That’s it! Hold it right there!

<Pronoun trouble.>

It’s not: “*You* don’t have to sing now.” It’s: “*I* don’t have to sing now.”  Well, I say I do have to sing now!

TWIM bloggers and readers: So shoot me now!

***

Andre “Hands of Stone” Ruffin, erstwhile backup tight end, has a name ripped from the police blotter.

Recycled art tag: Casa del Soto.

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November 15, 2017

Sing Some Spanish

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Uncle Gary came so close to touching his face and springing me from having to write today’s post…

Panel 1: Great, so we’re adding in some racial condescension to Uncle Gary’s shtick. That’s just what we needed.

Panel 2: I’ll say it again, Ricky is being awfully tolerant of his uncle’s delusional maneuvering. As has been suggested by others, it seems we’re well past the point where he would’ve told UG to stuff it.

Panel 3: Worst episode of Entourage ever. (I dunno; I never saw the movie.)

Please note that posts from me next week will be delayed as, instead of rehashing this dreck, I will hopefully be taking in views from the Tortolita mountains.

November 14, 2017

Play Misty For Me

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Metapost: There’s no way I can follow that masterpiece by Ned yesterday. Simply magnificent. That said, much like dealing with a recalcitrant whitehead, let’s squeeze out a post today and be done with it.

Panel 1: I am simultaneously comforted that Little Ricky appears to have a crappier cellphone than I do and then I remember that these are just drawings and am discomfited by having taken comfort in imagining that. Hey, did someone say something about concussions? Awesome.

Panel 2: We give Rick a hard time around here but, to be completely fair to him*, his reactions to his Uncle are the most reasonable depicted behavior by practically any citizen of Milford and/or the broader Valley region.

Panel 3: If I have to look at another panel of Uncle Gary touching his face, I am out. This is not negotiable.

Inspiration for today’s post title**:

* As one ought while, again, bearing in mind that we’re talking about fictional characters.

** I’ve seen, I dunno, maybe half of Clint Eastwood’s films which he’s directed and appeared. This is not one of them. I originally was going for something like this, but decided that trailer was more fun/insane.

 

November 13, 2017

This Week In Uncle Gary

Filed under: freak hands, google nonsense, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 9:09 am

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The Uncle Gary Show continues at Gil Thorp. Now it is revealed that Uncle Gary is angling for some sort of warm, fuzzy “Support the Troops” flavor to his ersatz viral video. We get it. Uncle Gary is without scruples. He’s also without traditional elbows if you try to figure out how is hand is positioned that way in Panel 3.

I have nothing else to say about Uncle Gary. Please have fun talking about Uncle Gary in the comments, if you can bring yourself to.

I do feel bad about giving you loyal readers short shrift in “humorous content” so I decided, why not fall back on the old standby, Google Nonsense. So let’s see what comes up when you Google “Uncle Gary”.

We’ll start with this guy:
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Interesting. Maybe Uncle Gary had a brief brush with fame that he’s trying to relive through Rick. Why he would bill himself as “Uncle Gary” is weird, but hey, it’s “The Nice Price Plus”. (I remember those stickers in the old chain record stores. I think it stood for “Here’s some back catalog crap that nobody will pay full price for”.)

Next up, we have this loving memorial to Uncle Gary:
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Lots of warm memories. He and his lawnmowers are certainly missed.

And finally, we have Twitter’s @UncleGary4Real:
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He looks like a lot of fun. Check out Uncle Gary’s twitter account…if you dare!

November 9, 2017

Nice to Know Somebody Likes Something About All of This

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There’s an underlying aura of creepiness that I can’t exactly put my finger on about today’s strip. Is it Trainer Rick Scott’s “I like what I see here” as he lovingly cradles Rick’s bare foot and calf? Is it that Uncle Gary (and his enormously oversized Bluetooth earbud) has a posse of the equally underemployed to roll out YouTube videos at his command? Is it Rick waving his arm like Evita Peron* as he sings the national anthem? Or is it the idea of rando Milfordian’s grandpa’s browser history that led him to Rick’s performance?

*It doesn’t take much to imagine Rick singing “Don’t cry for me, Milford High School…”

metapost: Weird double post this morning. Hopefully I fixed it.

November 6, 2017

How About A Crane Shot, Uncle Gary?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, Secret Thoughts — nedryerson @ 4:46 am

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So this whole plot is mostly an exploration of the depths of Uncle Gary’s delusions. Fun.

 

November 3, 2017

Just when you thought it was safe….

….to miss Rick singing at a game, here it comes. But first we have to look at his foot with a pumpkin on top of it. Oh yeah, that supposed to be an icebag. Last time I was that close to a foot I walked into the tiny  pro shop at a golf course and the female employee was standing on a chair barefoot dusting the ceiling fan. I told her I almost ran into her feet, and resisted a sudden urge to tickle them. Lol. If I ever write about my golf career this story would definitely make the list. Life has those unique moments you always remember.

P2 – really, how many trainers at a high school have pictures of leg bones on their wall? This isnt a doctors office for chrissake. And the diagrams have boxes pointing to them containing 4 straight lines, which are supposed to be words but shit they dont even look close to it. And no way is anyones kneecap THAT big compared to their leg bones. Jeez. F for artwork today.

And in P3 we have Uncle Dickwad on his PC lining up Ricks singing gig in front of millions of YouTube fans. I have a feeling now its not before a game, but somewhere else. Hey, as long as its not on this strip I’m fine with it.

October 26, 2017

Thinking Big ≠ Cat Videos

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If Uncle Gary’s idea of “thinking big” is going viral in a YouTube video with a cat, maybe Rick should stick with football. At least find a better agent – one that doesn’t think of himself in the third person – or a cat. Doesn’t the cat at least have to be grumpy?

For such a hotshot lawyer, Uncle Gary’s been spending a lot of time on his sister’s couch for the past two months. Shouldn’t he be billing hours, or organizing a cancer fun run, or something?

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