This Week in Milford

September 19, 2017

No More Awkward Middle Panel Extreme Close Ups For Mike Anytime Soon

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 9:49 am

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We don’t have a tag for it but, jeeze, that is a hell of a mug on Mike. I recognize it’s hard to draw differentiated characters absent giving them wildly varying hairstyles – befitting the spirit of youthful experiemntation – but I’m not sure just what the heck Whigham is going for here.

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September 13, 2017

Exploring New Lows In My Cynical Appraisal Of Gil As An Authority Figure

Filed under: Coach Kaz, exposition comics, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Pissy faced Gil — timbuys @ 10:46 am

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There’s so much to cover today. For example, I do my work on a laptop, in a t-shirt, with a cup (non-personalized) of coffee to the side.

But, I work from home. As casual as I like to be, when I go into the office, I at least put on a shirt with a collar out of respect for my colleagues, unlike Kaz apparently. That said, let’s go panel by panel to tee it up for our commenters.

P1: You could crack a coconut on Gil’s nose.

P2: Kaz engages in some fundamental questioning of standardized testing.

P3: Might? I’m just gonna leave this here.

 

September 9, 2017

Trey Facepalms for Us All

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What more need we say?

P1: If Jaquan was a star these past two months would’ve been moot. Not all who wander are lost – except for Rubin, who was lost.

P2: Albrecht Dürer meets Roy Lichtenstein, Whigham style.

P3: Freeze-Frame Ending. If you listen hard enough you can hear the theme from “CHiPs.”  Here are a few more to hold y’all over until Monday.

September 8, 2017

How I wasted my summer, by Jaquan Case.

Well its now all over but the shouting – a few more tosses of the flatbread loaf, and not only does Case talk about the book he isn’t gonna write, but he finally decides that this whole exercise was a waste of time because he announces to Trey (who Did shout) that his future is …. hold it… BASKETBALL. Just like it was when we started this whole pointless plot. Thanks a lot Heather. I have officially rejected both your football knowledge and all your phone calls lining me up to go to college and be a history teacher. Cripes.

Not only that, he wasted Treys time both losing practice time for hoops but making Trey go home and stew at his house.  Only one whose time wasn’t wasted was Gil. He’s over at Milford GC teaching golf as usual.

Boy, its one thing to do a stupid plot for 2 months, its quite another to do the whole thing and then end up in EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE YOU STARTED!!!!

What does Heather do now? Case made her late for fall semester and all he has to say is ‘ Time for basketball.’ !!

Hope they toss all these characters into the pre-season football bonfire.

 

September 7, 2017

This Had the Potential to be Interesting

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Wow, is this the ultimate in laissez-faire or what? Not only does Gil deliver a contrived platitude, we don’t even get to see him do it. Gil should’ve told his football team that if they had the potential to win back-to-back state championships, they didn’t need to prove it to anybody else. They’d already be back-to-back state champions!

Maybe this portends a new turn in Gil Thorp. Young athletes or wannabe athletes do or do not do something, followed by an exposition panel where the athlete/wannabe says that that’s what Coach Thorp told them to do/not do, or maybe they should’ve listened to Coach Thorp when he told them whatever off-panel. Or something.

Hopefully after Saturday we won’t hear from Jaquan for another five or six years, when he returns as a history teacher/life football basketball coach who gamely coaches his team to fall just short of the Mudlarks.  Then he can thank Gil profusely for all of his advice and for telling him he had the potential to be a history teacher/basketball coach and didn’t have to prove it to anybody else.

metapost: That whole “new turn” thing is stuck in my brain, as this Hurricane Irma prepares to turn and deliver a blow to Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and maybe more. I’ve got a lot of friends and family potentially in the path, and it’s kinda messing with my concentration to deliver a daily dose of mirth via Milford. (You’re thinking, “Why should today be any different?”)  Just as with you TWIMers in Texas last week, you TWIMers in the affected areas please check in with us and let us know you’re safe.

 

September 5, 2017

NBA Swingman, History Professor, NFL Wide Receiver, These Are All Merely Branches On The Career Tree.

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Josh Fruhlinger had some pretty hilarious commentary on pursuing graduate education in History the other day. I myself hold a degree in history but went to many too many professional graduate schools thereafter. (Like Vaganova and concussions, after your first one or two, you really don’t remember the third and fourth).

I don’t have much to say about today’s strip other than I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow for Jaquan’s next stunning reveal.

September 2, 2017

Making Calls, Squeezing Balls

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“Hey! Hey Heather! Remember me? Remember Kevin, the guy you were supposed to be coaching to become a fullback?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. About that. You couldn’t hang onto a ball if it was tied to you… and almost nobody uses fullbacks anymore, not even Coach Thorp. You can tackle and ballhawk and you’ve got long hair, right? Worked for Polamalu and Matthews. Now go wash that greasy mop of yours and get back on D.”

Poor Pelwecki, looking like a lovesick calf and so starved for attention since Jaquan and Trey showed up he’s resorted to hugging a football like a Pillow Pet. Maybe Trey will take him back to his folks’ house-cum-satellite training facility and give him a pity drink on the back porch.

Meanwhile Heather’s hitched her wagon to a bigger star, who seems to be looking out for her as much as she for him. We’re left with the cliffhanger of to whom and for what were those calls made.

Unseen panel 4: “Jinx!”

 

August 31, 2017

Not-so-fast Times at Milf High

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Oh snap! You mean a 30-year-old is able to give an 18-year-old some career advice for once? Is the Thorpiverse becoming less parallel? Somebody pinch me!

When did Heather and softball ever appear in the same sentence in this strip to date? Did the fact that, in Milford, you can ditch softball practice for “journalism” with no ill effects influence her decision? Or is it her understanding that softball and soccer are the only coaching options for women in this country? What about, you know, basketball? You can coach that in Milford without experience; just ask Steve Luhm and Bobby Howry. Maybe Jaquan wants her to coach him.

We’ve had a field day with the badly drawn vehicles in the strip this week. Today Heather’s car looks like the love child of a last-generation Ford Focus and a Subaru Baja.  I’m never quite sure if this is cartoonists’ way of avoiding IP infringement claims, but Rex Morgan‘s Terry Beatty seems to be able to draw a reasonable facsimile of a Mercedes-Benz GL-Class SUV, so take that however you will.

Enough for today; I need to find a sports bar with ACC Network Extra so I can watch True Standish’s Demon Deacons host the mighty Blue Hose this evening.

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