This Week in Milford

December 10, 2016

Let’s Never Talk About This Again

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 7:36 am

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So this is it? The final panel is doing a dumb, Casablanca style ending, so this looks like the kiss off. So long suckers. Thanks for wasting the fall with us here in Milford.

I think what this really was about was that Heather Burns just likes to manipulate people, men in particular and she positioned herself in the company of the most easily swayed cement heads in the region, the Milford football team. She couldn’t get any traction in girls’ soccer because she had mediocre talent, but more importantly, they were sharper people and they sniffed out her game early on. She probably should have pulled this gambit in her junior year and she would have had her own office and a salary by now. Would it have made any difference in the on field performance? That’s the beauty of it, because nobody gives a shit.

December 7, 2016

Hayden Fry Was A Tool But Kirk Ferentz Is Alright I suppose

Filed under: ?, Fontastic, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 6:24 am

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I’ll leave it to our commenters to parse the rest.

November 30, 2016

Are The VT Players Attacking Her Because She’s A Girl Or Is It Because She Is Terrible?

Filed under: ?, actual action, big arms, football, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 11:25 am

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It could be both I suppose.

Aside from that, I’m rather flabbergasted that Milford’s tactic is to put in a player who has been shown to be unable to compete on the assumption the defense will target her at the expense of their normal assignments, thereby allowing Austin Shuford a clear path to the end zone. However, I have to admit that it certainly seems to have worked.

November 8, 2016

Violent Retribution: The Milford Way Of Resolving Differences

Filed under: actual action, football, lessons learned, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 8:00 am

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So, I guess the refs don’t call taunting in the Valley Conference. Nevertheless, I suppose it’s good to see that whenever a girl is threatened, big strong men will come and save her. Wait, that’s a terrible lesson to learn. I’m not sure that it’s worse than giving your daughter a non-certified pre-owned Jeep Compass to drive but…

Is panel three a mid-week cliffhanger? As goes Milford, so goes the nation and all of that? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

 

November 5, 2016

Any attention from Marty is unwanted attention

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:24 pm

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“Of course you’re not the first girl ever to play football, H.E. – I mean Heather!  Look at me – I’m only in two-inch heels and I tower over you! I was a regular Harold Carmichael back in the day!”

Keep it low-key? Oh please, Heather, what else do these two mooks have to do in Milford? Marjie scoops Marty in the STAR, Marty scoops Marjie on WDIG, they drink themselves into a stupor and start the whole charade over the next week.

Check Marty in his crate, slipping an empty bottle of Warsteiner (snuck out from Schmidt’s Polynesian during the Oktoberfest Luau) over a coat hook and fixing to talk into it. Heather will soon find out, like Holly Dobbs before her, that any attention from Marty is unwanted attention.

November 3, 2016

Milford 26, Goshen 10, Suspension of Disbelief 36

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Two games in four days and we saw what, one play?

Something tells me unamused eavesdropping blonde with the blunt cut is going to blow H.E. Burns’ cover to Marty or Marjie. Something else tells me she’s probably a soccer-playing mean girl with a personal axe to grind and a desire to see the nail sticking up hammered down.

Very short post today as a very long work day ahead and no, I did not stay up for the end of the World Series. Congrats to all you long-suffering Cub fans out there and, as to you long-suffering Tribe fans out there, I feel your pain. Here’s hoping for a Mariners-Nationals World Series next year.

October 22, 2016

Backing Up (Like a Dump Truck)

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Kevin Pelwecki may not have a poster of the right guard on his wall, but does he have Groucho Marx and Chuck McCann in his medicine cabinet?

Here we were for the past couple of days remarking on how this strip portrays football positions in dialog balloons as abbreviations and wondering whether Milfordians pronounced them as abbreviations, and now here are kids sounding out the full name of each position. In so doing The Secret Pelwecki shows himself to be yet another in a very long line of Milford Idiots who want nothing more than to be the defensive lineman right guard center of attention. I blame reality television.

Then – hey y’all, look! It’s a rare Coach Shaw spotting – and with more lines than just about ever. He’s setting us up for the fifth-string QB‘s transition into the third-string TE. Kaz, however, has had enough of his talk. By doing an end-around to snatch Coach Shaw’s MATT mug, Kaz asserts his dominance over Coach Shaw and maintains his status as beta male on the Milford sidelines.

October 21, 2016

Because I’m an insufferable douche that’s why.

Filed under: Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Milford Idiots, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 7:49 pm

So now Gil has 5 QB’s and no tight ends. Unless he counts his ass and Kaz’s, which makes 2.  (I’m here all week.)  Nice roster management.

I now get the feeling that Pelweki may be recruited to play tight end, since why the hell would he need to watch FILM with 4 other guys? They need 5 quarterbacks like Gil needs a lemonade stand in the summer. If Gil already had 4, no way would he waste time with Kevin at practice, not if he had connected brain cells.  Every plot turn gets more ridiculous then the last in this strip. Next we’ll see Heather trying out for tight end. You watch. I’ll stay in bed.

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