This Week in Milford

May 21, 2015

Self-Police State

Filed under: baseball, Coach Kaz, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:57 am

May 21, 2015

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“Hold up, Kaz. We haven’t been coaching all season so why start now?”

“What do you call what you were doing on the mound a couple of days ago?”

“A momentary lapse of reason.”

Gil and Kaz hold their ground while Max “Lefty” Ortiz (probably plays the field without a glove; holy cow, what a paw!) gives True a dressing down. Still waiting for True’s rebuttal to the effect of “If it wasn’t for me your skinny ass would have stayed on jayvee all season.” Some pep talk, Max – Milford didn’t score any more runs in the game. Can you pin all that on True too?

Speaking of skinny, is that supposed to be Max asking true to The Bucket in P3? We’re supposed to believe he’s put on 100 pounds or so since the fall?

If all of this leads to True dropping baseball – and this story arc dropping baseball – I’m all for it. Former pushy busybody sports dad Art Standish has been conspicuously absent from this strip for a long time: you’d have thought he’d be raising hell at his son for jeopardizing his meal ticket.  We’re also overdue for Boo Radley getting the hubris smacked out of her in some fashion.

May 20, 2015

Baseball Versus Football

Filed under: anatomically implausible, baseball, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 7:34 am

May 20, 2015

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I’m having a real tough time mentally reconstructing how it would be that Max would slap away the ball from behind True with his left hand. Let’s leave that aside for a moment and consider this:

I don’t watch as much baseball as I used to – Note to WGN programming folks: There is a much higher chance that I will watch a Cubs broadcast than I would a rerun of America’s Funniest Home Videos. – but when I did there was one thing that was for sure: for the most part nothing at all is happening in baseball. It’s a great game in many senses but it is also excruciatingly boring. Now, one way to lighten things up and provide a little diversion while the batter backs out of the box for the eighth time to readjust his cup or the pitcher takes a long look over at the runner on first base before half-heartedly lobbing a throw over there, is to see what shenanigans are going on in the dugout. These are highly paid, intensively trained men with pretty much everything on the line and, guess what, they’re giving each other hot feet and soaking each other’s underwear in liniment on a fairly regular basis.

So, in my typically prolix manner, I say all of that by way of getting to my point. What the hell is wrong with Max and are Gil/Kaz/random unpaid volunteer coach even vaguely aware that there is about to be a fight in the dugout? My answers: Max is a typical Milford Idiot and no, neither Gil nor Kaz are remotely sober enough to register that the game is still ongoing much less that their players may require any sort of supervision.

May 19, 2015

Juggling Through The Motions

May 19, 2015

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Panel one: Which pose is the most awkward?

Panel two: And ye shall know him by his dimples.

Panel three: When do you suppose True finds the time to practice juggling novelty baseballs?

May 16, 2015

Destiny’s Darlings. Wow.

May 15, 2015

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May 16, 2015

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Now that I’ve seen the chokehold going on in the Central stands yesterday I can’t unsee it.  Makes me wonder if there’s not an entire undercurrent of violence running through the Thorpiverse. Might explain the disappearance of the Thorp kids, to begin with. Anyhoo, on to today’s action…

Well of course we’ve known this was gonna turn into a spring romance plot for about the last week, but getting Owen Wilson to play True just sealed the deal.

Either Amy Lange’s Porcelana treatment is working or she’s layering on the foundation these days. (Come on Whigham, if you’re gonna carry characters across multiple season arcs, at least draw them consistently from one to the next.) No matter, Miss Arthur Radley plans to put some color back into Amy’s skin – black, blue, purple, green…

May 7, 2015

“True, Boo. Boo, True.”

Filed under: Bad Jokes, Chunky Bracelets, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:02 am

May 7, 2015

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So Rubin finally gets around to making the joke TWIM readers (and, probably, everyone else who reads this strip) made about ten months ago when Art Standish was introduced. This time, we can assume that it’s the bespectacled girl to Addison Radley’s right being referred to as “False.”

That Rubin’s getting around to making the True/False joke only now requires less suspension of disbelief than the notion that Boo doesn’t know who True is. After all, just yesterday we were expected to believe that her first pitching appearance in the strip was “typical.” More likely she knows who he is but has never been introduced to him – which begs the question: Just how big is Milford High anyway?

Is the girl sitting across from Miss Radley Amy Lange? She must’ve forgotten to apply her freckles today. She does that sometimes, y’know. Kinda like how Boo forgot to apply her tooth gap this morning. Wonder if Amy’s still Luck(e)y Haskins’ girl? Me, I’m just waiting for Amy to make the introduction in today’s post title, not unlike a certain soon-to-be-retired person did twenty years ago.

April 28, 2015

Upside Dim

Filed under: baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 7:41 am

April 28, 2015

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Wearing her star spangled tunic and funky sunglasses, rolling down the road in her extra wide Jeep Compass, Boo muses contentedly about how, really – when you think about it – the dissolution of a marriage, the disruption of a family, the final recognition that feelings of love and plans for the future have vanished never to return, is a pretty great opportunity to manipulate emotionally damaged people into giving you stuff in a sad attempt to cling to something or someone. Lessons learned, indeed.

Also, True is an idiot. Per vaganova’s suggestion in comments yesterday, we simply must fix these two up.

April 20, 2015

Requiem For A Little Fella

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Milford Idiots, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:27 am

April 20, 2015
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Just so everyone is clear, Addison Radley is widely addressed by the nickname Boo, but one must not ask her why. For you see, her nickname derives from a character in a popular piece of fiction which spawned an iconic film. The book has been included in school curriculum for years as it famously explores racial intolerance from the point of view of a young protagonist whose eyes are first opened to prejudice. Addison is of the belief that everyone in her peer group should be aware of he origin of her sobriquet, and anybody who isn’t must obviously be an uncultured piece of trash.

The poor guy who got a double barrel blast of condescension from Boo is David Archibald. All his life, people have been calling him Tiny. Unfortunately, everyone just assumed it was because he’s short.

In honor of the flaming wreckage of Tiny’s self confidence, here is a rocker by some noisy little fellas:

April 16, 2015

Just Because [blank] Can Doesn’t Mean [blank] Should

Filed under: exposition comics, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Where is Milford? — teenchy @ 5:18 am

April 16, 2015

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We’re all familiar with John Pascoe’s backstory by now so I’m not gonna bother to hyperlink to it. It could very well be that John doesn’t speak because he doesn’t have an intelligent thought in his brain. After all, Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say. Better not to go to State and be thought a fool than go to State and blah blah blah.

Today’s title could apply as equally well to State’s football program as to Silent John. If he turned State down before, why would they offer a scholly to Pascoe again? Apparently he’s just that big of a stud lineman that they can overlook his selective mutism, hence the comments spanning Panels 2 and 3. [EDIT: I just caught that Gil didn’t speak both comments, that it’s one of the Guardians of Pascoe in P3 talking, hence the “we.”] (Pity there isn’t a fourth panel today; I’d like to see who the recipient of John’s backhand will be. Maybe he’s trying to swat that word balloon back into P2, but more likely it’s meant for whoever just called BS on him.)

For a second day in a row I’m playing the “Where is Milford?” card, this time wondering which State is being referenced here. Could be North Carolina, ’cause as the Dukies like to say, “If you can’t go to college, go to State.”

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