This Week in Milford

August 20, 2016

Oh Look, Mother Bader Finally Gets a First Name

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This plot has gone on so long that everyone’s back in long sleeves again!  At least it’s more appropriate than showing up to a funeral service in softball uniforms. Of course it’s still a funeral – Del’s – and the baseball Mudlarks aren’t here to offer anyone any moral support so much as they’re here to satisfy their collective morbid curiosity.

Mighty magnanimous of Rubin to bestow a first name on Mother Bader at this late date in the arc.  Has the finally fully named Sandra Bader actually stepped away? She still looks trapped within the courtroom pews to me. Speaking of trapped: stay tuned for a week of courtroom exposition leading up to a Labor Day weekend in which someone (anyone?) learns some kind of lesson.

If we’re stuck with courtroom drama for another week, might as well start it off with a laugh. This skit is still memorable for me, if only for the moment when the late Jan Hooks states her occupation.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-peoples-court/n9487

August 19, 2016

What Are We Absent From Again?

Filed under: Milford Idiots, What the hell is going on here? — nedryerson @ 3:23 am

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Oh, so Del Bader leveled up to Circuit Court and doesn’t have to deal with Ken Brown’s mom. That’s good, right? His 1-800-ASK- GARY attorney probably thinks so. That’s what he told Marty Moon when he called in to his Summer Prep Spotlight call-in show. Are we in weird territory here or what?

The team is rallied (by a suddenly freckled Mike Granger?) to go show their support at the trial. They can offer comforting glances at Boo’s parents. They can laugh at the wacky hijinks of Del’s counsel. At least they don’t have to spend the day at school, which just doesn’t end.

August 18, 2016

A Jerk, A Murderer, A Canal – Panama.

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You know who else is a kid, Gil?  This kid you’re using to do your dirty work.  He brought you a state title in football and brought some baseball scouts to your yard; the least you could do is let him off the hook to live his life.

Wait, what?  Rubin’s dragging Marty Moon into this ordeal?  WDIG’s put him on the police blotter beat now too?  Nothing like a meaningless week or two of shit stirring from Marty (inevitably concluding with some lame riposte from Gil) to drag an endless plot on even longer. Maybe Gil will dispatch True to deliver his pithy comeback to Marty’s crate.

August 16, 2016

Take Off My Tie Before Tossing The Old Pigskin Around Outdoors In August? That’s Crazy Talk!

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Fat Guys, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 6:17 am

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Didn’t we already have a memorial service for Boo? Is True going to put up a roadside marker outside the S Mart?

Bonus challenge: rather than ponder the strip’s primary inanity, name all of the input/output jacks on the side of the Baders’ tv…

August 11, 2016

Can You Believe This Crap Again?

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“Hey, let’s heap physical and verbal abuse on the kid who had nothing to do with his father’s accident, then shun him, then repeat the entire cycle again and again, then act all pissy because the kid doesn’t want to be around us so we can repeat the cycle yet again.”

OMG RUBIN WILL YOU STOP THIS CRAP ALREADY

Oh well. At least it’s much better than “Cats.”

PS: Recycled art tag for True Standish’s hair on Art Standish’s head and (possibly) for Kaz’s big-ass 1998 Nokia 5110.

 

August 4, 2016

Tell Ya, We Don’t Like It

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You ain’t got no way of ending a plot
I gotta tell you that this story line is shot
You takin’ us on some kind of endless ride
You done this ever since Boo Radley died

Tell us something good
Tell us that you’ll end this, yeah
Tell us something good
Tell us it’s still summer, yeah

Sense of time is what you let slip away
You drag this out like there’s 48 hours to each day
Your problem is that you milked this puppy dry
We’re so bored with this, we don’t even try

Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Tell us that it’s tee time, yeah
Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Bring back Herk the Mauler, yeah

You ain’t got no kind of master plan
All your tales are told from the perspective of a man
You refuse to give us strong leads that are girls
Some of us think you should sit on it and twirl

Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Give Del’s wife a new man, yeah
Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Mimi and the pool boy, yeah

Got no idea how to let True get away
(Got no clue, no, got no clue)
College kickoff is less than a month away
Your problem is you gave us more of him than we could take
Let him go, ship his ass on off to Wake

Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Wrap this story up, yeah
Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Ready for some football, yeah

(lather, rinse, repeat)

edit: The tune, for reference.

 

 

July 30, 2016

“You Notice How True is the Only Player Gil Talks To?” “Yup.”

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Today’s strip is an apparent homage to Andy Rooney and Gary Cooper.

Nice Jiffy Pop/Super Mario Bros. lids on the Mudlarks there. Equally nice: a cameo by Milk (or is it Cheese?) perched on Kaz’s shoulder. Trifecta of nice: the passive-aggressive, Hermey the Elf-like answer from True. Coming Monday: Pissy-faced Gil tells his golden mouthpiece to go make nice and play catch with Master Bader.

July 28, 2016

First they came for the Baders, and I did not speak out

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— because I was not a Bader.

Reads like Ken just passed True some Carl Spackler’s Bent before leaning in for a soft, wet smooch. Golden Boy’s second life-affirming speech in as many weeks will come a bit late to salve Barry Bader’s feelings. No matter; Barry’s gone home to a fatherless house to drown his sorrows in… a meat loaf? A big loaf of pumpernickel? Feel free to speculate on what graces the Bader dinner table while contemplating what transpires during Del’s jailhouse consultation with the stupid lawyer.

 

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