This Week in Milford

April 4, 2015

Won’t Somebody Think of the Children?

April 4, 2015

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So who are these two twentysomethings jogging off into the sunset? Putting the burden of this stinker of a basketball season behind them has taken years off the Thorps’ appearance. Maybe Mimi’s spent the season getting plastic surgery spa treatments with the money Mudlark boosters have been slipping Gil after winning the state football title. (Given she was only seen coaching once – and that during practice – she’s certainly had the time on her hands.)

Quick cut to the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER (nice Chartpak lettering on the facade there) and we’re left with an unprecedented WTF plot resolution. In Gil’s own words:

“Bobby manipulated Max Bacon as an experiment, and then to impress a girl. He hurt Max – and he hurt the team.”

This is the kind of kid you let coach children at a rec center? Rubin, you are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real.

What kind of legend will these kids be a part of? I’ll leave it to the words of another Gil:

April 2, 2015

A Shot at the Playdowns? April Fool!

Filed under: basketball, exposition comics, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:22 am

April 2, 2015

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Remember yesterday when Marty Moon said that Milford had to beat Goshen and Madison to have any shot at the playdowns?  Turns out a lot of other things had to happen as well:

1. Jefferson had to lose to, uh, somebody

2. Gil had to not suspend Max Bacon

3. Rubin needed to move this plot along a lot faster than he did

So why are all those kids smiling? They know the season’s about to be over too! By the way, who handed them their towels?

March 30, 2015

He Hurt Max

March 31, 2015

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The denouement continues apace here as Gil has probably hit peak-sermon.

Do you suppose Mr. and Ms. Howry just got up and started walking out of the office mid-rant and Gil followed after them – not willing to spare them the conclusion of his jeremiad against rogue student basketball managers? Their body language certainly doesn’t suggest that they are really wanting the conversation to go on any longer.

Thank goodness for panel three to lighten things up. That is just all kinds of Marty panel goodness. I must leave it to our commenters to do it justice.

Bacon The Badger

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 3:49 am

March 30, 2015
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One parental debriefing transitions into another for Gil. Not surprisingly, Mrs. Howry needs a little sarcastic Gil Thorp reality check, for she is as slow on the uptake as the Bacon’s. Poor Gil is forever tasked with coaching children of blowhards, morally compromised dimwits, rage-oholics, and other various “Milford Idiots”.

Sure, I would give parents called before a school official a little leeway, as they are processing new information about their children, but Gil has to accelerate things and go straight to pontification. After all, two parent conferences in one day?? No, no, no, a packed schedule like that leaves no time for compassion!

March 28, 2015

Thoughtcrime

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Prairie Style Windows — teenchy @ 5:05 am

March 28, 2015

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In Dr. Pearl’s office, students don’t get suspended for taking aspirin. In the office of Gil Thorp, the principles of IngSoc are in full force. Did winning the state championship in football give Gil the authority to suspend students?

Maybe the Bacon parents (doubleplusbacon?) aren’t as concerned about Max’s crimethink as they are about his inability to distinguish low-dose aspirin from ADHD medication. I suppose Bobby wasn’t giving Max the yummy chewable kind so there was no orange flavor to clue him in. (Speaking of which, anybody here ever try a Tastykake Orange Junior? I’d swear the frosting is made of crushed baby aspirins.)

Next: What becomes of Bobby? I suspect he’ll be involuntarily joining the Junior Anti-Sex League.

March 26, 2015

Big Hands, I Know You’re the One

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 4:25 am

March 26, 2015

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“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Coach… but maybe I can choke it out of you.” P1 has to be one of the visually greatest single panels I’ve seen since I became a TWIM contributor. Definitely worthy of “Random Amusing Panel O’ the Moment.” It was all I could do to not make a Wayne Brady reference in the post title.

Seriously, though, has Whigham been drawing Bobby’s hands bigger with each passing strip? Are they meant as a visual allegory for his expanding ego? His is not the only freak hand we see today as Max whips out the classic Milfordian pointer finger in P3.

Max makes the only accurate statement in today’s strip: Bobby is indeed an idiot. In so doing he proves himself to be an even bigger idiot. Thankfully we’ll have seen the last of these two characters in, oh say, a week or so. Still it might be fun to revisit them in a couple of years to see what kind of bitter outcasts they’ve become at Milford High, or if they’ve transferred to St. Fabian’s out of pure shame.

March 24, 2015

Something Odd Going On

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, Mimi Thorp — timbuys @ 11:50 pm

March 25, 2015

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Wow, is this house of cards ever collapsing quickly…

I am not sure if panel two is supposed to be a flashback but, if it is, I do enjoy that Gil sees himself in the background of his own reminiscence. Give credit where it’s due (or not), as they didn’t just crop the corners of the previous panel depicting that scene.

Panel three is astounding as we are shown a bobbling head, yet no exploding eyeballs. What is this, Apartment 3-G? Oh well. So much for the criminal career of Bobby ‘The Brain’ Howry, whose tepid bragging to Leisl has now managed to upend his own apple cart.

March 19, 2015

The Struggle Is Real; The Drugs, Not So Much

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 4:36 am

March 19, 2015

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So Bobby’s cunning mono-focused plan has been set into motion:

Part the first. Teaching Max to not be a dick to his dealer by stiffing him, not letting on that the drugs have been placebos all along.

Part the second. Hinting to Lysol that he can predict the future re player performance, with a subtle hint at mind control.

Why do I get the feeling nobody (including we, the readers) will be happy with the way any of this turns out?

Anyway, it’s game time! Tiny Tilden player has either taken off for a dunk attempt way too soon or is coming down with a board way far away from the hoop. At first glance I thought the framed pictures on the wall were cafeteria menu items, but if I squint hard enough I can imagine they’re little banners with the names of all the Valley Conference schools on them, kind of like the ones you sometimes see in gyms.

metapost: Has WordPress forced us into the “new” post creation interface I first noticed back in August? I don’t see the option to go back to the old version. Change bad! Forced change worse!

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