This Week in Milford

July 16, 2015

So All of a Sudden You Care Again?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:22 am

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Back on the shores of Hubbell Pond Lake Milford and now the Mudlark footballers have migrated to a picnic table. One of them is even randomly waving/fist pumping at the random personal watercraft rider jetting by. But hey, where the women at? And are those kids drinking a six-pack of Billy Beer?

Speaking of women: I’m assuming (at least for today) that the voice of the talking house is being provided by Art Standish. After all he’s the only person in the last year and a half of this strip who has nagged someone about practicing their sport. Has he finally had enough makeup sex with True’s mom to notice what True’s been doing with himself? Given Art’s character development last year, his total passivity toward True’s baseball activities (that is, beyond “benching” True after making his late-night Boo call) was one of the more bothersome aspects of the spring sports arc.

July 11, 2015

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get Grounded for Two Weeks

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Chunky Bracelets, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 4:30 am

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Honestly, I haven’t even had the motivation to write a song parody for this nonsense. Today’s title is as close as I’ll get.

Good thing True referred to Boo as “a certain pitcher,” otherwise I’d have forgotten that this strip was until recently about sports.  I guess the Cliffs Notes for today’s installment go something like this: Parental discipline makes Boo feel like her parents care about her, rather than catering to her every whim in an effort to show who’s the better parent post-divorce.

It has been many a moon since I was in high school but I don’t ever recall leaning into a girl by her locker only to pull back for a high-five. (These two didn’t even high-five after their first breakthrough.)  Pull back after getting my face slapped, maybe…

So, drinks by the pool with Gil and Mimi on Monday?

July 10, 2015

And?

July 10, 2015

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Panel One is quite a tight fit. The way True has to crook his neck just to squeeze in has him grimacing in pain. That’ll only get worse as he gets older and take more and more hits in the pocket. I recommend looking into the McKenzie method in his adult years.*

There’s not a whole lot more going on in the more expansive environs of Panel Two, but I have to wonder if that railing complies with all federal, state and local regulations for railings. I say I have to wonder because I am just that boring of a person.

Finally, we get the punchline in Panel Three. Huh, sneaking out in the middle of the night, getting your car vandalized while avoiding distinct chances of something much worse happening and Boo is shocked she got grounded.

I am sorry Vaganova, but I am tagging this one with Milford Idiots as Boo just doesn’t get it.

Bonus point: The spirit of Steve Luhm is still in evidence as those floors aren’t just clean, they are almost mirror like.

* True story: when confronted with crippling neck pain, I went to consult the book on treating neck and back pain my dad had given me but couldn’t find it. Being ever resourceful, I tracked down a copy at the local library. When I got there, I was amused – in a black humor sense – to find that all of the books on treating back and neck pain were on the bottom shelf at floor level. Coincidence or just a sadistic librarian? I suppose I’ll never know.

July 9, 2015

We’ve Secretly Replaced Gil Thorp with Mary Worth

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:21 am

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Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!

Having had his gig as baseball closer cut short, star QB True Standish moves on to his next calling: meddling in family relationships. Shouldn’t he be getting ready for hot summer 7-on-7 action? Shouldn’t Gil and Mimi be hanging out by the pool with Seven and Sevens?

Actually, between Mom Radley’s* constantly shape-shifting facial features and Boo’s stream of angry non sequiturs, one could argue that Gil Thorp‘s been replaced with Apartment 3-G. Then again, we do see people’s bodies below the waist in this strip.

Brought to you by the inspiration for today’s post title.

*Does she still use the last name Radley? I don’t think that’s been established.

July 4, 2015

Will Boo Resist Learning?

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 9:39 am

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Nothing like a romantic trip to Milford Auto Karts Parts to patch up a relationship set of tires.

Baseball’s over, so it’s time for this relationship to be over. Rubin’s spent three story arcs developing True’s character and only a small portion of one on Boo’s so he knows which side of the toast he’s buttered. A pity, as many of us TWIMers had been hoping to see a more fleshed-out female character in this strip.

The swift breakup will no doubt begin with True going off on Boo’s self-absorption and tendency towards violence. Wonder if he’ll start his lecture by telling her to hold her head high, keep those fists down, and try fighting with her head for a change.

July 2, 2015

The Guy Covering Second Is Melting!

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(Alternate title: “Hurry Up and Lose Already! Part 3“)

Well since the summer of 2015 is already over a week old and his mom’s garbage won’t take itself out, Marty’s really behind the eight ball. His APBA simulation of Milford baseball would’ve gone a bit faster if he hadn’t trotted out those baseball player cake toppers he’s kept since his ninth birthday party. Oh, and here’s a picture of Jim Joyce he cut out to add more realism. Maybe he can screw up the game for the Mudlarks the way he did for Armando Galarraga.

His middle infielder was placed too close to one of his birthday candles and started melting below the waist. No probs, just gives Marty a backstory for how Milford will throw the game away and miss the playdowns. Hey, Gil’s still basking in the glow of that state football championship; we can’t have any more success going to his head!

June 27, 2015

Pranking Bad

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Saturday’s cliffhanger:  Have the Central City Cretins trashed Boo’s Compass and/or are they merely waiting on/by it to accost her?

June 25, 2015

I got (99 – 97) problems

Filed under: Central City Cretins, Chunky Bracelets, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:21 am

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Boo Radley, she of the ever-changing hairdo (and facial features, and dentition, and neckline, but whatevs – we can say that about just about everyone not named Gil Thorp in this strip, and sometimes even him, too) finds herself feeling harassed by those Central City Cretins (is that a new category?) and decides to take matters into her own hands. Her Exploding Wrist Syndrome will not bode well for her pitching but thankfully this scowling bouncer will keep it from getting worse.

Wasn’t everybody waiting for True to appear deus ex machina style to be Boo’s savior? Did we not pick up the context clue that True wasn’t going to the show with her? I suppose it’s not too late for him to show up; being at home while his mom and his once-helicoptering dad continue to have furious make-up sex has got to be getting kind of squicky.

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