This Week in Milford

May 20, 2017

Change my pitch up

gt05202017

The big question on all of our minds today: Can the names of juvenile offenders be published in a newspaper? The big answer: Typically, yes, but it depends.

The Supreme Court of the United States has held that reporters’ First and Fourteenth Amendment rights outweigh a state’s interests in protections relating to the rehabilitation of juveniles. This means that if a reporter lawfully obtains the names of juveniles involved in crimes, the reporter may publish the names of the juveniles.

In many states, juveniles involved in juvenile proceedings are protected by laws modeled after the Model Juvenile Court Act. If the person in question falls within the definition of a juvenile, court records and law enforcement records involving the juvenile will not be made available to reporters, with some exceptions. If the juvenile is tried as an adult, certain items can be printed and disclosed to the public. Additionally, information collected by newspapers and individuals that includes information released by the courts or the police is not considered criminal history record information and is not treated as protected information. On the other hand, reporters are not allowed access to juvenile court records, or law enforcement records, with narrow exceptions.

Okay, enough of that; I’m not here to turn TWIM into some kind of law journal.  I’m not sure if Rubin’s dark change-up (and we’ve seen a series of them over the past year or so) is a feint to throw us snarkers off the scent, a Batiuk-style ploy to land a Reuben Award, or a veiled cry for help.  Young men hitting young women is certainly nothing to snark about.  Thank goodness we can still snark about close talkers, bizarre perspective, giant earrings, and tiny hotel pens held in giant freak hands.

May 18, 2017

All Milkshakes, All The Time

gt05182017

Boy, I’m glad I read the “About” section at GoComics this morning.  I was getting ready to lay into Whigrub for burying the sports-related aspects of this strip beneath ever increasing layers of vague, tell-don’t-show bullshit ” topical, teen-oriented issues.”

The spring arc is playing out to be about anger management and ethics in journalism.  Girls’ sports are getting worse than no attention; thus far they’re being portrayed solely as a means to meet boys and get free food.  (This time, fries with the milkshakes; maybe burgers too after the next game?) We clearly know what Dafne Dafuq loves more; if the Lady Mudlarks softball team had a more observant coach, Dafne would get the hint and drop the game. But the softball diamond is Thorp country, where laissez-faire coaching rules the day and nothing should be done to upset the shakes and fries gravy train.

May 17, 2017

Follow The Moron

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, exposition comics, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 9:05 am

051717

I’m not buying Dafne Dafonte as some bulldog investigative reporter if it’s that easy to brush her off.

However, based on that flipper in panel three, I am absolutely buying that the volcano has some wicked movement on his pitches.

May 13, 2017

The Dreaded Call to the ‘Pen

gt05132017

Today we get another one of those frequent time dilation events that tend to happen in the Thorpiverse.  Sometimes this isn’t such a bad thing: when several days are spent on a single play or sequence of events in a single game, the pacing of a typical high school sports season gets thrown off.  Other times, it feels really forced, especially when the events of the stretched out game could have an impact on the events of the speeded up games.

That’s what’s happening here. It feels like Ryan Van Auken’s lost cool that led him to getting yanked from his first start is being completely glossed over. We can only assume everything went Ryan’s way and that his dumpster fire of a temper has been left smoldering, only to be touched off again by, perhaps…

… a mysterious phone call, such as the one a young Stephen King is fielding in the Milford High Journalism Office(!).  On the basis of one exposé, Dafne Dafoe Dafonte Dafunk has gained a reputation as a hard-hitting reporter, one who’s ready to blow the roof off a subject once given a hot lead.  Wanna bet this call’s from the Fun Girls from Mount Pilot* – er, Central City – with the juicy backstory as to why Van Auken’s now plying his wares in Milford?

*One of The Fun Girls was named Daphne. Coincidence?

May 11, 2017

Shakes, the Clown

gt05112017

So Jimmy Caruso has eyes on Dafne Dafonte and Carrie Hobson has eyes on Rex Hudler Hurdler Gary Meola, who doesn’t have eyes on her but is gonna pretend to have eyes on her to help Caruso out in true wingman fashion, or something like that.  If we didn’t have all that exposition leading up to today, we might be led to believe that Dafne and Carrie only have eyes for each other.  Dafne has already made her disdain for track and field well known, so why is she going along with this ruse?  To play wingwoman for Carrie, of course, and to mooch a free post-game milkshake off Caruso at The Bucket.

Ah, post-game milkshakes at The Bucket: not just for no-hitter batteries anymore! Then again, were they ever? Considering the last time that happened one of the batterymates got killed, I doubt that’s a tradition that will be revived in Milford anytime soon.  Gotta find the silver linings in the cloud that hovers over Milford softball in the post-Boo Radley era where you can, and if they come in the form of budding romance I guess that’ll have to do.

May 10, 2017

Help Your Buddy Out?

Filed under: general nonsense, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, softball — timbuys @ 6:59 am

051017

Ho boy… Sorry folks but I don’t have the stomach for teenage romantic hi-jinks this morning.

I do find it kinda amusing that Gary is still complaining about/questioning the reason why he is attending the game as they are walking up the sidewalk that leads directly to the batter’s cage in panel one.

May 9, 2017

Met With Limited Enthusiasm

Filed under: Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 7:18 am

050917

Oh, it’s one of those Dafne likes Gary but Gary’s not interested but Jimmy likes Dafne so if he can only get Gary to go to the game with him he’d catch her interest but she’ll only have eyes for Gary and… and…

In other news, we are certainly getting a nice sense of the hierarchy of sports in Milford. Pity the forlorn Badmintoneers.

May 6, 2017

Chill, ‘Cane! You still got the W

gt05062017

Having been yanked from the game by Gil, Ryan Van Auken looks startled as he trudges into the Milford dugout.  And no wonder: judging from the motion lines Whigham drew in, Ryan’s glove arced over his left shoulder before hitting the back of the bench in front of him.  He must have thrown that shit before he walked in the dugout!

Bobby Mitchell (not the one who integrated the Redskins) earns the save when a levitating Barry Bader wills the ball to rise vertically into his outstretched glove.  Awful nice of Gil to put stripes down the sides of the Mudlark unis; gives Barry a way to relate to his old man. But what is that leaf-like object hovering over Barry’s rear end?  An actual tobacco leaf?  An indicator of his preferred kinks?  Or something else?  Talk amongst yourselves.

« Newer PostsOlder Posts »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.