The green green grass of December

Whoopee- back to football now that Chet Chit Chat has received his comeuppance, and although the fans in the stands are dressed for near-winter the grass on the gridiron shows no signs of turning brown like every other Midwest-based grass does when the warm air turns cold and the sunlight is much more minimal. Sunlight is very underrated when it comes to grass appearance. In the summer the sun is up  for about 14 – 15 hours a day, plus the light is more direct with its  path starting due east and going directly overhead at noon, providing much more intensity even though its actually farther from the earth in summer then winter. Then it majestically sets due west, taking its time and sqeeezing every bit of its daylight out before dissappearing. Even then its light lingers for a while, and sunset-watching is a fine way to spend a summer evening. By the time its completely dark out, its almost bedtime.

By winter the sun is rising in the southeast, and takes a much more angled approach in the sky as it peaks at just-above- eye level before hurrying down to set in the northwest, its extreme angle explaining why it gets dark so quick this time of year. One minute its broad daylight, then bam- dark. No twilight in December to speak of. I deliver the mail outside in a truck, and believe me, when its 4 o clock I can feel the light just fading away almost immediately and the temperature drop, and my dome light is needed almost every day now. Daylight is our friend these days, because it doesnt stay long.

So the grass feeds off the warm sun and temps, and when those resources dissapate around November,  it loses its green hue and turns brown, preparing itself to survive the cold and dark winter in a frozen ground caused by the much colder night temps; so it can grow again in spring when the warmer air re-awakens its roots. Nature is fun to watch if you pay attention.

So in Milford-land the grass stays green all year round, and the Mudlarks are still celebrating beating tomato cans like Valley Tech, and heading to the Bucket to toast Charlie and Chance for being the 2-headed monster the offense needs in the backfield. Huzzah!!

This storylines’ a real turkey

The story drags on with Marty basically jumping off Ballards ship, much like Clarence Boddicker and Dick Jones partnership fell apart in RoboCop after Clarence involved Jones in his criminal doings.

Hopefully Chet will only go to jail and not wind up fired like Dick Jones in the end– maybe Chief Lind will do the honors this time.

Marjie Ducey Month continues

I took a peek at tomorrows strip just for the record– since Marjie walked into Gils office on October 24, she has appeared in 22 panels out of a possible 79,  for a percentage of 28%.  That means on average every 4th panel has her in it,  so we’ve seen her almost every day  for a whole month. I thought maybe we were seeing her more then Gil but his total is 32 through the same period, counting tomorrow. At any rate, thats easily the most we’ve seen Marjie in a month in history.  I would venture if you went back the last 22 panels she was in before this month  you would need to go back several years, if not a decade.  So good for her for finally being a centerpiece of a story.

The weirdo with the laptop somehow accesses Chets browser history on HIS laptop. How the hell did he do that? Chet was on a public computer.  This dude has his own . No way do they just have laptops laying around for public use at a place like that.

Chet is using a desktop computer, not a laptop. You can see the screen is connected differently then the weirdos laptop is. But they need to make him look stupid so they make up this situation. Yes Chets an idiot. But so is the laptop weirdo who finds something nobody on this earth can.

Back to Marjie who confronts Chet– how does she know where he is?  I dont even remember where he works. Yes he’s on the school board but thats just a side hustle. Shes a snoopy devil.

We heard you the first time dope.

After a month of farting around with these 2 players, all we know for sure is 99% of the school couldnt give a rats ass which one carries the ball on Friday nights.

How the hell is Chet sabotaging Chances workload on the field??

Gil is the coach. Gil decides who plays. Gil calls the plays. Gil controls the action.

Chet is a parent/spectator who yells in the stands. They always say, if you listen to the fans you’ll be sitting with them one day. Gil may finally be on that road.

Marjie’s back, and man she looks hot on Saturday.  (Yes I peeked. No. not there!)

I’m not sure anybodys ready.

No color today as the Seattle strip wouldnt load. So Chance confides in Gil that he’s essentially recovering from whatever condition he has (had before). Or at least he feels he can control himself. Wonderful. He even says playing football is major progress for him given his condition.

Meanwhile, we havent had a game in over 2 weeks, and as the falling leaves indicate, the season should be winding to a close, and playoff positioning finalized. The coaches shouldnt be worrying at this point about some kid who isnt even sure he’s up to the task of playing for them. Hey gang, if he is the Least bit unsure, tell him to take a hike right this minute and concentrate on getting better, I mean Really better. Cuz at this juncture, all he can do is further distract a team who we dont really have a handle on due to the lack of games lately ( hey thanks Chet for your contributions to slowing down the pace of pigskin play).

So we have our solution to this problem right in front of us. Lets see how quick Gil pulls the trigger and cuts  Chance from the team.  I wager they dick around for another week and I’ll be rehashing this crap-ola next Friday.

An the editor of this strip sucks.

The way this strip is going it was only a matter of time before a literal mistake slipped past the editors. P1 Marjie says ‘And odd..’ instead of ‘an odd…’ Bing. (That was for Ned Ryerson)

So Chet Chit Chat decides to make an anonymous call to the Milford Star, describing what he saw in the files about Chance…. After at least 2 people advised him to leave everything alone and MYOB. He really listens huh? So he goes undercover so he wont be discovered as meddling, when in fact modern tracing techniques on voicemails can easily trace the call to him eventually.

So Marjie tells Gil, who then calls Chances parents ( Hey if he has a minute for Marjie, why cant they have at least 5 for him?) and visits their house to discuss the whole Chance backstory.

Now– good for Marjie for not running with a story by an anonymous source, but does she really take every goofy call she gets as a serious issue, passing the buck to someone else to do the actual investigating? At that rate, every teacher in the school would be busy de-fusing false rumors. Hey they got better things to do!

Why  doesnt Chet just come out and call Marjie himself and have her over at his house to tell the story, instead of keeping the whole thing a secret? Because everyone else told him to forget about it, and he wants to have his cake and eat it too, effectively. If the press finds out all these things about Chance, believe me even in a dopeland like Milford, they wont publish anything without knowing who leaked all the info.

I’m a little young to remember a lot about Watergate, but Chet reminds me of someone in that case.

Deepthroat.

Shortest. Debate. Ever.

Geez, Chet, when has doing the right thing ever stopped you? Or netted you the results you were after?

You do realize that your logins are being captured and it won’t take an internet ninja to figure out what you’ve been up to. Even if it’s Kaz doing the ninjaing (ninjing?). There are steps to be taken between nosing around in students’ permanent records and getting Chance kicked off the football team. Once you take them, it’ll only be a matter of time before everyone from Gil to the mop Steve Luhm left behind in the janitor’s closet will be hip to your scheme. Then the only one getting kicked off of anything will be you off the school board – and maybe out of the family home. I hear Uncle Gary might have some room for you on a sleeper sofa in LA…

And where the hell is he going?

Chet Chit Chat*  overhears students rehashing the game (as if anybody really does that at a high school game; most kids are looking at their phone or discussing the latest party plans after a game) and decides that poor Charlie is getting the short end of the stick even though he’s PLAYING and Chance isnt. Sure looks bright out there for a night game too.

The next day, he goes to a building saying – you can read it– I would say to peruse some official records of students? Where on Gods green earth is such a building located anywhere?  This guy is looking more nosy by the second. What the hell is he gonna find in there? Chances eligibility records? Why wouldnt Milford High School have them? And how does he get access to Chances records when he isnt related to him at all??

Question isnt ‘who is this kid?’  Its who the hell is this guy??

*A broadcaster named Bruce Wolf came up with an alter ego many years ago called Chet Chit Chat on his radio/TV shows. I believe it was a reference to Chet Coppock, another media personality who passed away recently. Anyone from the Chicago area would know this reference.