This Week in Milford

February 23, 2017

Nuttier than Nutboys

Filed under: basketball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 7:52 am

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What’s with this product placement? And here I thought Nutboys were the official candy bar of Gil Thorp.

I suppose the conclusion Rubin’s trying to lead us to is that Quadruple A sandbags unless Mom’s getting paid the next day, and the family Aagard banks something out of that arrangement. I’m starting to reach the conclusion that Ken and Mike are turning into the winter Milford power couple. I’m also starting to reach the conclusion that the thing Ken Brown makes happen is gossip, rampant speculation, and locker room dissent. Way to be a team player, Big Ken.

A thought on yesterday’s strip: Did anyone else hope for a Kenzie Hanley cameo when reference was made to “a linebacker in short pants”?  For that matter, where has all the Bacon gone? Wasn’t he still an underclassman last year? Did he drop out of Milford and follow Kenzie and USA Women’s Rubgy around the country? That would’ve made for a more compelling story arc than this dreck.

February 22, 2017

A Linebacker In Short Pants

Filed under: ?, basketball, big arms, Coach Kaz, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 10:01 am

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Panel 1: I almost want to run the color version of today’s strip as the electric blue over black shirt under with tie look is quite a striking look on Kaz.

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Oh yeah… Don’t even ask me what is going on with Kaz’s collar or how he knotted his tie.

Panel 2: Julius needs to layoff the Nutboyz and the Freezi Bombs if he wants to look good in those short pants.

Panel 3: Mike and Ken really should keep this thing to themselves rather than just blab on and on in the locker room. Their fixation on Aaron is starting to get rather unhealthy it seems…

February 9, 2017

Sherlock Plays the Dozens

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“Is your mom still an… um… is your mom still so fat her ass got two zip codes?”

So this is it – the start of the big reveal (well, besides the big reveal that Aaron Aagard’s Molly is a girl, not the recreational drug) that will tell us what’s truly behind Aaron’s inconsistent play. Mike Granger couldn’t start it off any more awkwardly. Sure, let me start talking about my plan to pump Aaron for mom info out loud in this shiny tiled echo chamber where Aaron’s already sitting. I can already see this devolving into a poorly played game of The Dozens.

“Mike, you’re so stupid you can’t even remember what I told you Aaron’s mom did for a living a couple of days ago.”

“Ken, your mama’s the judge, not you, so shut the hell up. So Aaron, is your mom still an actuarily?”

“Sort of. She lost her actuary job, though.”

“Oh. So your mom’s so poor she can’t even pay attention?”

“Nah. She still plays the numbers. That’s why I help her… by shaving.”

“Oh. So your mom’s so hairy, you shave her with a weed whacker.”

“No. I shave points so Milford can’t cover the spread.”

“Oh. So your mom’s like chunky peanut butter: greasy, full of nuts and easy to spread…”

 

February 8, 2017

Standard Odds

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 8:49 am

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I’m sorry about missing yesterday’s post, folks, and am grateful to Rob for filling in on short notice!

I picked up on panel two being a flashback, but it wasn’t until the second or third time I read the strip that I noticed the beveled corners. Annnnd, that’s about all I have to say about today’s snoozer. Tune in tomorrow when we may or may not see the plot advance.

February 4, 2017

Pride (In the Name of Aaron)

Filed under: basketball, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 3:17 pm

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“I don’t want Aaron to think this is about one mistake…but yeah, this is about one mistake.” In laying out his coaching plan (!!!) to Kelly, Gil draws the fine distinction between not starting and benching (not playing at all). Let’s not give him too much credit just yet, as Gil goes on to show that he’s not above that long-cherished chestnut of coaching, “shame the player into performance.”

Apropos of nothing: Wasn’t Kelly sitting across from Gil yesterday, and now appears to be sitting at his right elbow today? Maybe Gil, Kaz, Mimi and Kelly have some swinging thing going on. I don’t want to expend too much mental energy on that idea but it could help explain why we’ve seen nothing of Mimi and the Lady Mudlarks this winter.

Finally, that tenacious gumshoe Mike Granger gets us ready for Monday’s clue, which will doubtless have something to do with whatever Mother Aagard (or the as yet unseen or unheard of Father Aagard) did for a living when Aaron & co. were in the sixth grade. Clearly it had to be something lucrative and/or risky, and the Aagards’ fall from financial grace (and/or possible loss of their patriarch) will turn out to be another factor in Aaron’s inconsistent play. Will the junior detectives clue Gil in before it’s too late and Aaron rides the pine permanently?

February 3, 2017

Stuck in neutral

The boys continue discussing Aaron while they play a video game of.. a car driving somewhere on the screen. Wow, for a 2017 video game it sure looks on the tame side. I once had a car video game where I had a steering wheel, and the object was to drive as many laps in 5 minutes as possible. The track filled the TV screen, and in those primitive days I was so good at the game I would reset the lap counter at the top.

Career day in 6th grade?? We didnt have that until junior year in high school. 6th grade I was still eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day and playing basketball in my driveway, dreaming of one day being able to stuff it through the hoop like the bigger kids in the neighborhood.  The paper boy would ride up on his bike and deliver the Daily News, an afternoon paper that is now defunct. I feel sorry for these guys that they’ve had to know this dude for 6 years. He must’ve wanted to be a rock star in 6th grade. Anyway what does career day have to do with where he lived?  Just one stupid train of thought after another here.

No, nobody HAS to live in dumpy apartments. Thats why the Robert Taylor Homes got torn down in Chicago. Dope.

And in P3 we have more AA discussion over wine and burgers. What a perfect meal. Yeesh.

Wake me up when this plot wants to move forward.

February 2, 2017

“Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancaster?”

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Y’all know who should really be doing today’s post, don’t y’all? Not just because of his screen name, but because this strip is starting to resemble that movie.

With all this repetition – the junior sleuth thing, the apple-juggling bit, the keyhole bangs on every white Mudlark hooper not named Aaron Aagard –  I’m really starting to think Rubin’s trolling us.

I reckon tomorrow we’ll find out why Those Apartments on Poplar (besides being a jumping-off point for a spinoff of Gil Thorp) doesn’t make sense, but then when has anything about this arc made sense?

February 1, 2017

They Like Him In His Own Weird Way

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It’s good to see that Mike and Ken are back on the case! I couldn’t recall AaAa’s apple gag so I looked it up. The relevant strips were essentially a pre-hash of the story in today’s strip. I’m not entirely clear how serial apple larceny is an endearing quirk, but a lot of things about Milford similarly elude me. That said, going over the point a second time does little to move the plot along.

Indeed, it makes me wonder if perhaps we are in for a refresher on how Molly is ostensibly the name of some girl from Tilden and almost certainly not the street name of one of the many esoteric chemicals Quadruple A takes during his all night raves.

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