This Week in Milford

December 9, 2017

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Dubai

December 8, 2017

gt12082017

Wow, Rick Soto must’ve grown a foot and gained 100 pounds since he took that knee to the helmet. He looks like he could be selling Niblets. Again, there’s nothing in this strip that would hip the novice Gil Thorp reader to the dynamics at work here. Convos like this are no doubt playing out all over this land of ours on a regular basis, but in most cases I’d venture “your mother and I”  “your mother, my milquetoast sister and I, your creeper uncle who wants to make a buck off you.”

December 9, 2017

gt12092017

I’d been waiting to throw today’s title out ever since Richard Soto, Sr. got his backstory, but at this point I don’t know if we’ll ever see him in person so I figured since he’s referenced today I might as well use it now.*  It’s almost as though Rubin invested so much effort into making Uncle Gary the evil father substitute that he forgot he had written in an actual father for Rick. Hence this quick-dump, poor excuse of a throwaway line to Andre to keep from having to develop that character, or have him behave as an actual father might when he learned about all that’s gone down this fall.

Nice to see the Milford Public Library stay relatively on-model.

*Also, it’s not baseball season but it’s still worth throwing out the origin of the song’s use in a sports context.

Advertisements

December 7, 2017

We can’t trust Rick’s long-term health to some big-city lawyer, either

gt12072017

He said “tested” instead of “studied”? Does he know anything about scientific research? Currently the only reliable diagnoses of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) are post-mortem studies of brain tissue. Testing for CTE may come in the future, once reliable biomarkers are found. The data Uncle Gary cites comes from a study, not from testing. Why leave out the CFL players and collegians, Gary? Huh? How about the caveat that the brains donated belonged to people who had been symptomatic?

A reader new to Gil Thorp who had just read only the past week of strips might be forgiven for siding with creepy uncle.  Longtime readers know Gary is just one in a long line of Thorpiverse adults seeking to exploit a child athlete for their own personal gain or wish fulfillment. That he chooses to do so by cherry-picking data favorable to his case is consistent with his portrayal as some kind of lawyer (ambulance chaser PI litigator, maybe? still not established) but calls his own credentials into question. Why Connie Soto or, especially, Absent Dad Soto hasn’t yet done so is one of the biggest plot holes in this fall story arc.

November 30, 2017

All Hands On Rick!

gt11302017

In the forest of hands found in today’s strip Rick Scott’s speaks the loudest, as it tells pissy Uncle Gary to talk to it. We could have fun all day coming up with witty retorts to Uncle Gary’s question but I think Rick does well enough making the point that he needs to stfu when grown folks is talkin’.

Meanwhile I dunno what Connie Soto’s doing with hers: checking out the results of her facial/wax job, maybe. She’s managed to pop her ear out from under her hairdo, giving her that Middle Earth look that pops up in Milford from time to time.

November 17, 2017

And assholes hole.

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 8:13 pm

The Gary ‘Its All About Me” tour continues with his proclamation that he’s salted the mine with Ricks singing performance at homecoming. Therefore anyone with a computer from Antarctica to Zaire (the country, not the store) will be able to watch him at a moments notice, although 99.99999 percent of them not only wont give a crap, they’ll forget about it 10 seconds after its over so they can watch something else. So Garys plan to make Rick rich and famous (in that order) stands to fail miserably.

As long as the cannon that Gary should  be shot out of doesnt also fail miserably. He will hopefully land in one of the following places:

  1. The moon. (Only time we’d see him is during a solar eclipse)
  2.  The bottom of the ocean right next to the remains of the Titanic (Raise the DouschBag!)
  3.  Gilligans Island
  4.  In a sharks mouth (Hey, a clowns mouth would do but he already has one on his face)
  5. In Marty Moons crate.

November 11, 2017

I Routinely Wear Glasses And I Swear That I Never Do That…

Filed under: freak hands, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 9:37 am

111117

Maybe I just need to up my evil game… The notion that Uncle Gary is sitting at the kitchen table, tapping away at his laptop and sipping coffee, almost exactly as I am right now, would be more disconcerting if I weren’t clean shaven.

Panel 1: Pretty creepy.

Panel 2: Super creepy.

Panel 3: This is all a little too much to take in on a Saturday morning.

Enjoy your weekend everybody!

November 9, 2017

Nice to Know Somebody Likes Something About All of This

gt11092017

There’s an underlying aura of creepiness that I can’t exactly put my finger on about today’s strip. Is it Trainer Rick Scott’s “I like what I see here” as he lovingly cradles Rick’s bare foot and calf? Is it that Uncle Gary (and his enormously oversized Bluetooth earbud) has a posse of the equally underemployed to roll out YouTube videos at his command? Is it Rick waving his arm like Evita Peron* as he sings the national anthem? Or is it the idea of rando Milfordian’s grandpa’s browser history that led him to Rick’s performance?

*It doesn’t take much to imagine Rick singing “Don’t cry for me, Milford High School…”

metapost: Weird double post this morning. Hopefully I fixed it.

November 4, 2017

The Easily Swayed Dr. Pearl

gt11042017

….Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re right back where we were last Saturday. Gil can resist Uncle Gary’s relentless Astroturfing, but Dr. Pearl apparently cannot. One might think that the administrator, with her fancy book-learnin’ and cushy desk job, would cast a more jaundiced eye toward the email campaign – starting with finding out who is sending them.

Makes me wonder what Uncle Gary’s firing off in those missives on his teeny tiny laptop with his freaky deaky hands:

Pearl, Pearl, Pearl,

Come be my lovin’ girl

Don’t you marry Lester Flatt

He slicks his hair with possum fat…

 

November 2, 2017

I Was Hoping It Was His Gary, Too

gt11022017

Milford was up 10 on Madison day before yesterday. Did they score to make it closer? We’ll never know. We’ll miss out on a trip to The Bucket too since we have to ride home with Rick Soto’s mom and Uncle Astroturf. Fill in the blank: what was Uncle Gary’s glad it’s not his? Talk amongst yourselves.

Rick will get his big chance to sing the national anthem at next week’s game since he can’t play in it. (Nice cameo today by the late Bernie Casey as Rick’s real doctor.) Hopefully it’s a home game or else Gil, Dr. Pearl & co. will have to go through more machinations to help Rick pull that off. Such suspense!

Older Posts »

Blog at WordPress.com.