This Week in Milford

January 29, 2021

Dont stop now Tessi

Filed under: Milford Weirdos, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 5:54 pm

First of all, some digression– Nobody got elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame this year; however, last years ceremony that was cancelled was to feature (among others) Ken ‘Hawk’ Harrelson, who won the Ford Frick Award last year of course, and thus was denied opportunity to speak. As many know, Hawk was full of euphemisms, or Hawkisms, a lot of which refer to golf which he also played well. One of his sayings was “Dont stop now boys!” when the White Sox (which he broadcast for many years before retiring after 2019) were putting up crooked numbers on the board. I’m sure Hawk is looking forward to attending this years event with no new players and thus making up for lost time last year. He’s a true character of the game.

So Tessi is using a Hawkism here in P3, but didnt she just tell Vic what a great voice he had? Why not tell him then what we have to wait til tomorrow for? Sheesh. Guess one compliment at a time is her speed. This comic drags stuff out better then a hoarder pulling out his trash. Why not say – hey great voice! Can I borrow your notes from physics class for a day? Badda bing badda boom. And we move on. But AS SHE STOPS NOW SHE SAYS SHE CANT STOP NOW.

And if its that personal, why say it in front of 2 other mopes? And who holds ONE book as theyre scooting past? I always carried several items with me between classes (when I didnt have time to stop now). She needs TWO hands to hold ONE book. How many hands does she need to hold her cell phone?

You had time to squeeze someones arm, but not ask a favor? And I dont know about you, but ol Vic may be getting a big head about his PA success, as he remarks about his fan mail. Who the hell is sending a high school PA announcer fan mail? And he sits with the boys because theyre gonna read it? He cant?

Enough of that nonsense– on a personal note, tomorrow I’m heading to Muskegon Michigan for my 3rd annual weekend luging trip, once again trying to bring home a medal after finishing 5th last year in my division, 2 seconds from the bronze. Practice makes perfect, hoping to stand on the podium this year and have a blast as always regardless. I’ll report on my efforts next week.

Finally a song by the Who back when they could hear what they were singing: Tessi’s got a squeeze box in her locker apparently.

January 16, 2021

Throw some ketchup on that hot dog

****THIS IS THE FRIDAY POST*** SATURDAY POST WILL BE LATER TODAY BY THE ONE AND ONLY JOAN RIVERS!! ***** THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!!***

I’m assuming Vic has a tutor for some of his classes as in P2 (after studying and prepping for the game like ALL announcers do, even though he’s only a PA announcer) he’s walking on an ice rink past a sign that says READ. Did anyone ever see a sign that says READ?? The whole idea is to READ the sign, right? Reading a sign that says READ is,, superfluous, to put it mildly.

Hope they dont slip on the ice while skating to their next class, which may require reading.

Maumee High School http://www.maumee.k12.oh.us/ is located in Maumee, Ohio, and its enrollment was 693 students in 2017, so they only count head every 4 years or so when a new crop of kids come in. Why count every year when its the same old kids?

Does Vic do road games too? PA announcers only do home games in my world, so looks like we found the first hole in the plot. He’ll need an upgraded vehicle for all that driving. How many states does Milford need to go to for non-conference games for crying out loud? Perrysburg is also in Ohio, and only 6 miles from Maumee, but I thought they played Rogers last game? Theyre from (holy) Toledo Ohio, so either everyones coming to Milford from the Buckeye State or Gil won free gas from Speedway for a year. Hard to believe you play 3 straight games against new opponents. I’m needing some Goshen in my soup pretty soon.

December 19, 2020

Once more unto the geek, dear friends, once more;

Or close the wall up with our Milford dead.
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of hoops blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the Howry;
Stiffen the hoodie, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d sycophantry;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the lenses on the head
Like the brass thumbtack; let the… brow… o… ne’er mind

Another bearded English or English Lit teacher will serve as a springboard for a Milford kid’s encounter with Gil Thorp. Prestwick here must have heard about the backlash against Rooney after the butter knife incident. That would explain why he’s giving Vic Doucette such wide berth to just up and leave his class. What, there was no backlash? Oh. Consider this tacit acknowledgement that Milford High is Thorp’s world and everyone else just lives in it.

Before I saw that Doucette was another Friend of Rubin, I thought for a moment we were gonna go down a musical path. Then I realized the leader of BeauSoleil spells his surname a bit less pretentiously. That notwithstanding, there’s the fact that the kid’s a dead ringer for Nick Lowe. His m.o. thus far is straight B/Robby Howry, and haven’t we gone to that well enough already? Ah well, if we’re gonna mix up Henry V and sports, let’s do it right, like the late great People’s Poet did.

December 18, 2020

Cars and glasses

Filed under: huge glasses, Milford Weirdos, oversize objects, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 10:59 pm

Doug Guthrie (no relation to singer Arlo Guthrie https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arlo_Guthrie or race car driver Janet Guthrie https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_Guthrie ) we meet the next Harry Carey, Vic Doucette, who is among other things, a writer for the Detroit Metro Times. He also looks like this..

Vic Doucette - Option for the Poor: Engaging the Social Tradition

Doug looks like this…

Doug Guthrie (@ProfGuthrie) | Twitter

As Cub fans are well aware, nobody had bigger glasses then Harry.

Pin on Chicago My Kind Of Town

But ol Vic is giving it a try, and looking in the mirror only doubles his pleasure as he sees his huge frames staring back at him. Which team needs help, Dougs racing team, or Gils basketball team? Is he filling in for Leonard while he recovers from his ankle injury, or is he Dougs tire changer in the pits? And why does he say “But…” if he’s starting a conversation with himself?

December 11, 2020

Aliens landing

Cant believe a whole week later and I’m AGAIN describing the last game of the season. Like shooting a dead horse to put it out of its misery, the Larks manage to run out the clock instead of risking a heroic pass like Dickhead Lineman suggests in the huddle. But they take so long to end the season that alien ships have time to get to earth and pull them all into orbit, never to be seen again.

If you think I’ll miss these morons, you got another one coming. Good riddance. Hope they took Gil with em too. Hows that Delaware T gonna look on Mars, Gildo??

November 25, 2020

“This Is Not Our Chance. Chance Macy Is Our Chance.”

Okay folks, I know I’ve been losing a couple of steps here and there but at what point did we see these two mooks actually encourage their teammates to take sides in their competition? Did they not start talking “Team Rapson” and “Team Thayer” of their own volition? And at what point did the fire hydrant-shaped Corina grow to be as tall as Rapson and nearly as tall as Thayer?

The wackiness of this setup just gets wackier when Corina suggest they go at it with chairs WWE style and just trash the place. Maybe this is how she really ended up at Valley Mod and all that talk of supporting her depressed mom was just a facade. Better they go at it with butter knives at five paces. There’s an ex-Mudlark at State U who could give ’em a few pointers.

November 24, 2020

Mudlarks with Filthy Souls

Well surprise, surprise, surprise! Rapson enters Casa Karenna only to find Thayer manspreading across Corina’s sofa. Didn’t realize Will had such enmity toward Rapp, but then again he might just be pissed that his quarterbacking rival has turned into a potential blocker. I’ve already used up my Fight Club references and I’m really hard pressed to come up with any explanation of what we’re seeing here that doesn’t quickly devolve into pornography. So have at it, ya filthy animals.

Being Milford, this is going to end in the most nonsexual way possible. Also being Milford, my money is on Gil putting up Mimi to put up Corina to do his job for free what he could not: get his quarterbacks – and, by extension, the rest of their teammates – to play nice with each other, again in the most nonsexual way possible.

November 21, 2020

A Shot in the Dark

Oh geez, here we go again with the volleyball girls who finish each other’s sentences. This schtick is getting old, just like everything else in this fall arc. (Don’t try getting your left hand and wrist that close to your face at that angle like the dark-haired girl in P2. We don’t have any chiropractors on staff here.) So what’s with the tiny crack in Corina’s “What football team? I don’t care about the football team” veneer? Does the idea of guys fighting get her all tingly and stuff?

Now for the mildly interesting cliffhanger that might answer that question. It’s been established that Corinna has zero interest in the quarterback boys. So why the h-e-double-hockey sticks is she inviting Rapp over to her place on a school night? Time for a “shot” to impress mama Karenna by sitting in on a hot game of Uno? Or is mama Karenna off to therapy and Rapp’s “shot” is to steal as many bases as possible off the catcher? Oh, it’s high ribaldry at its best! And it’s about to start – let’s watch!

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