This Week in Milford

January 27, 2023

Gil, would that be your starting pitcher?

Lots to get to as usual so lets get it on….this strip is resembling water in a toilet bowl swirling down after a flush…lets count all the mistakes shall we?

P1- I know of no basketball announcer who uses full names during the action. Especially a name like that! And whats the big ass deal about 6 rebounds?? Get to 20 and then we’re talking.. and the ceiling looks to be a foot above the rim… the ball could almost be stuck on the beam just above Atazhoons hands. The defender should have his hands up and his eyes open. Error total : 5

P2 – Nice to applaud your team after a win but isnt that the fans job?? Are the coaches watching the game or coaching it? Fellas are older people, not high school kids… and the winning score should be listed on top in a strip; this isnt a TV broadcast where the home team is shown on the bottom. Gil also looks like he’s attending a wedding, not coaching a basketball game. That suit looks like it came from Just For Men. Error total: 3

P3 – Yes Gil I know its a play on words, but geez, you just had a blind person on your fucking baseball team last year and you decided he could safely pitch. Hope he wasnt in earshot of that remark. And YOU DONT GIVE OUT GAME BALLS IN BASKETBALL. I HOPE YOU’RE IN EARSHOT OF THAT, DOPE! At least Leo was humble enough to admit he wasnt the whole reason they won. Good boy. Error total: 2

That makes a grand total of 9 errors in one 3-panel strip. If that wasnt a shitfest one doesnt exist.

Our song today is by someone who fits what Gil was referring to.

January 20, 2023

Falling further off the tracks

We switch from a non-Milford hoops contest to.. teens hanging out like they do in real life. I dunno, maybe Im selling todays kids short, but I must confess I didnt hang out like this when I was in high school. Most days after school I would get home, either by foot or by car, and after putting my books down in my room, I would head outside to shoot hoops in my driveway for a while, when my friend who lived 2 doors down came over we’d play one on one or shoot free throws, or otherwise I would head downstairs to the basement and play video games. Then maybe some TV shows either back upstairs in my room (I got a black and white TV for my confirmation in 7th grade, still remember watching Bucky Dents home run on it) or on the big TV in the basement after video games. Of course my friend would join me for the video games too, or we’d head over to his house to do similar stuff, or play chess or backgammon on the picnic table. Or Id go bike riding if it was nice out, and depending on the time of year, after dinner if it was still daylight I might do a little chipping in the front yard, using the lamppost in the middle of the lawn as my target, and going around the yard for various shot lengths etc. Or sometimes we’d do a little yardwork before dark or cut the grass if it needed it, although most grass cutting was done on Saturdays, like normal people did. I would generally do my homework after dinner, and quit in time for Monday Night Football or some other program I liked, (another show I really liked was Thats Incredible, which was on before MNF and I would stop my work to watch it, then go back to it if not finished, then catch what I could of the football game)

1 year me and dad joined a nearby gym and we got some weights at home and he would lift with me after he got home from work. I put on about 25 pounds in a year and decided to quit the weightlifting as it also entailed drinking this milkshake with bananas in it. No thanks. I just ate more instead. No more gyms after that year, save for a brief stint practicing for an indoor triathlon using the pool at another local gym.

So that was my after- high- school life. Plenty else to do besides what these characters are doing. I never smoked or did what these kids are doing, sitting on the ground against a building and getting offers to vape. Of course vaping is something new entirely and what I know about it, Im not interested. Sounds just as bad as smoking, although the flavors sound better.

Dont know why in P3 the 2 vape guys are walking away as theyre talking.. if its really free just let Sue have it if her hand is out.

Guess ol Henry has to show off his knowledge of vaping for us. Maybe tomorrow we’ll be back in Scottsdale for another golf lesson.

Finally, RIP David Crosby. I wasnt aware he started with the Byrds, and I believe if he stayed with them they’d be one of the alltime great bands instead of just another 60’s group with a funny name. He was an immense talent who made everyone around him better, and his incredible voice will be missed. Here’s a song performed 29 days after I was born:

…….And another on for good measure- he was so youthful you dont recognize him.

January 18, 2023

You Can Call Him “GilPa” But You Doesn’t Have to Call Him “Gil Exotic.”

Times are tough in Milford. Unspecified budget cuts have had some kind of unspecified effect on Mudlark sports. Kids are being forced to sell cheap substandard chocolate in front of grocery stores. Now Gil himself has stooped to debasing himself in, of all things, a spot for a used car dealer. Not just any used car dealer, mind you, but one whose appearance is explicitly based on Joe Exotic a/k/a The Tiger King. If Joe wasn’t behind bars I’d expect him to come after the Chief for appropriating his likeness.

Of course, GilPa* might not be doing this for the Mudlarks. Mimi’s little jaunt to Scottsdale hasn’t paid for itself yet! The fact that she’s been able to take it may imply that it was her job – and Milford girls’ hoops – that were the victims of the unspecified budget cuts. Then again, GilPa might need to pay a retainer to a divorce lawyer. He could be doing ads for the Foley Law Group before it’s all done. Maybe he could call in a favor from Hadley V. Baxendale.

*Gentle readers, never let it be said that your input falls on deaf ears. Today Gil refers to himself by a nickname used here and in just about every other Gil Thorp comments section known to man. (Me, I’m holding out for “Kaiser Gilhelm.”)

January 13, 2023

What I dont find attractive is that seaweed you’re eating

The girls are having a post practice lunch. Nonsense. Nobody in teaching golf does that. They just met. The writer knows nothing about golf its obvious. Or football or basketball. Why fly to Arizona for 1 lesson and complain to someone about that. Talk about your golf game. This is a teaching pro not A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.

This girl isnt David Leadbetter. Even so, Mimi cant afford his prices – $3,500 for 3 hours. Heh.

And Ericka, its Mimi. You were just calling her Mrs. Thorp 2 days ago. You dont just call her Emily.

I wrote much more but it got erased and I dont have the heart to do it all again.

November 11, 2022

“How not to advance the plot” for dummies

Filed under: ?, Chunky Bracelets, Gils kids, hands in the air, Keri Thorp, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 4:57 pm

I really thought today was gonna reveal something about Keri’s odd personality but no– we flip back to last Tuesday. The only problem with that is we dont even know what today is. I thought we had Marjie D AND football back too, but it was too good to be true. Back to the uneven nonsense that this new plot has become. I forgot all about the Linda Lindas until today. Their need to be in this strip is next to zero. Didnt we just look at 2 newspaper issues back to back, 1 telling a blatant lie and the next exagerating a high school football matchup before it happens? When did games have previews that warranted front page headlines, even in a rag like this one?

One thing that hasnt changed is this late season football. Its Veterans Day and we’re still in mid-season form. Get on the stick or we’ll have Frosty saying “Happy Birthday!” before the final gun is fired.

Hard to believe the Linda Lindas were at the school library so late that Keri cant get up the next morning. Cant they schedule this hoo-ha on a Friday or Saturday night?? Check another ‘makes no sense’ box.

In honor of Hurricane Nicole thats currently ravaging Florida our song today will be this rarely heard gem from Point Blank in 1983. I swear I’ve had Sirius radio for 12 years and havent heard this played once. Its way too good to be so off the map. Of course in high school I heard it all the time.

November 2, 2022

From Slash Damage to Slash Fiction, Just a Roll Away

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Jami Thorp, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 11:27 am

Before composing today’s post, just for S&Gs I decided to look at the “About” section for Gil Thorp on GoComics:

With sharp, contemporary storylines and concise artwork, “Gil Thorp” provides an important link between high school athletics and contemporary social issues, taking readers to the classrooms and playing fields of Milford High School, where Thorp continues to raise the bar for coaches at all levels. Henry Barajas and Rod Whigham are giving the classic strip an update, ensuring that Thorp continues his reign as coach of the funny pages.

Then, through the magic of the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine, I decided to look at the “About” section for Gil Thorp on GoComics from 2018:

Created by Neal Rubin and Rod Whigham for and about teenagers, Gil Thorp has developed an intensely loyal readership of all ages. It is a sports strip that is not just about sports, sometimes dealing with topical, teen-oriented issues.

Subtle change but a change nonetheless. I’m waiting to see how Gil “raise[s] the bar for coaches.” Making the rounds of the bars in the Valley, flirting with the barmaids and rating their Old Fashioned game, I reckon. As for “continuing his reign,” will it necessarily involve The Fall of the House of Martinez? Only time will tell.

Now that we’ve been put on notice that the strip is being written with compilation as a graphic novel in mind, I think it bears repeating that we’re gonna have to focus on the long game, not only in plot resolution but also in snark. How, then, does Jami Thorp’s involvement in an RPG with the Martinez brothers advance the plot? Will it open a window into the Thorps’ home life that Luke Sr. will inevitably exploit as he seeks to bring Gil down? Or will Jami’s “magic blast” lead to other games, as innuendoed by his hand gesture and t-shirt graphic?

October 15, 2022

Maybe it WAS a dream

Filed under: confusing dialogue, Keri Thorp, Milford Weirdos, They called it Puppy Love — robmize2013 @ 3:46 pm

I dont know about this storyline; I guess we have to suck it up until sports is more central to the plot.

Now we have our new kicker (who also plays soccer) having breakfast. Mom made it. When I was in high school I was making my own breakfast. Plus having coffee. That dish looks a bit complicated for a weekday school day. We only had bacon on weekends. Otherwise eggs sunny side up and a waffle, I can deal with. But teach Toby to cook Mom.

And isnt it a little early for a phone call from a kids friend? Wont they see each other at school in an hour or so? And why did Mom take the call? Toby still sleeping? Then its too early gang!

Football star my ass. He’s a freak show. Who joins a football team midstream just to kick? We still never really saw the whole play, just like the Immaculate Reception was never fully captured on TV. One thing that hasnt changed is the absurdity of the plot ideas. I know moms these days look way better then when I was a kid, but she looks awfully youthful for a high school mom. And “they” is plural. Keri is one person right? As my 3-year Spanish education would say, No comprende.

Figures more volleyball ahead. Lets enjoy the Immaculate Reception again. Lord knows we need it.

Well unfortunately the NFL wont let us show the video again, so here’s a re-enactment of the play in 2020. Pretty weak, just like this storyline. We need the real thing.

October 8, 2022

Its the Curly Shuffle (Thorp Special)

I have a feeling the Thorp Special is another reference to a long-ago play used before any of us were following the strip, and if not, I forgot about it. We may need a special (there’s that word!) category and/or department for old references from the archives. Perhaps our resident blogger who reports after the end of every season with the updated record book can assist us in this matter.

That all being said, the dialogue is ludicrous. Some kid who only learned the plays maybe a month ago is questioning the coaches instruction. “Do the Thorp Special”? Does that mean throw, catch, run, dance? All of the above??

Is Elias the passer or receiver? It merely looks like a pass play. Why give it such an official moniker? Evidently the play worked but its only the first half kids. Better concentrate on halftime adjustments. Every trick play only works once you know.

And obviously Marty knows what it is before the ball is snapped. How? Maybe the receiver signals to the QB? For what? Ive watched football for 45 years and I doubt this play is any different then the number of flea – flickers Ive seen in my day. My absolute favorite had to be the Dolphins-Chargers playoff game in 1981 when the Fins scored on the last play of the half on a sensational hook-and-ladder play after being down big early, then they carried the momentum into the 2nd half to tie the game and eventually lost in overtime on a field goal. Chargers TE Kellen Winslow turned into a folk hero for his performance in that game. Being a big Chargers fan I was thrilled at the outcome and I knew it was the best game I ever would see in my life that day. Nobody who saw that play will ever forget it.

I tried to upload the video of the play but the NFL wont let me. But here’s the Curly Shuffle.

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