This Week in Milford

May 16, 2022

Heather Burns Is Impressed

Filed under: actual action, baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp, New Thayer — nedryerson @ 8:35 pm

The Thorps are relaxing at home with some coffee and the morning paper. Hey Gil, your team is off to a ten and three start! Say, that’s pretty darn good. Yeah, Heather Burns thinks that’s hot! Oh no! My pinky is looking weird again and I can barely hold on to this supposed newspaper and neither one of us can focus our eyes, so let’s go back to bed until say, June. Sounds good. Wake me up when it’s time for lemonade.

Meanwhile, Half Blind Hamm is back on the bump against New Thayer. It’s a chopper to the left side. Is that good or bad for Hamm? As long as he’s not trying to field it, so what. Guys are going to hit choppers, and dribblers, and squibs, and grounders, and bloopers, and comebackers. It depends on what you do with them. We’ll find out what happens to the chopper later.

March 21, 2022

What Does Cressa Want?

Cathy still has the floor. She’s been filibustering all weekend, pleading the case for her bestie, The Captain with the dislocated hip. Tell ’em, Cathy. Hollis wants what’s best for everyone. She wants wins and for everyone to be better. Sheesh, Cressa, what don’t you get about that?

Mimi, on the way out the door for cocktail hour, picks up on Cathy’s inspiring defense of The Captain and she…makes a face. Maybe she’ll make Cathy co-captain for the last couple games. Maybe she’ll tell Cressa to hit the showers because she’s stinking up the place and the rest of the team is dressed and ready to go. Maybe she won’t do anything because why not, these girls will work it out. They always do. It’s the Milford way.

March 19, 2022

Cathy vs. Cressa

Filed under: Mimi Thorp — robmize2013 @ 3:55 pm

Time to fast forward through 2 games that should have been played last month–a loss to a good team and an easy win against a probable bad team. What does it prove? I dunno. I dont follow girls basketball enough to say that lineup changes midseason dramatically change a teams destiny, but this here is so staged it begs to look stupid. What evidence did we have that Cathy was hurting the team with ball-handling? Its only 1 side of the court anyway. Was she bad on defense? Guards have to stop the other guards too, not just look pretty setting up the front line. Again, it seems like they all play so whats the difference who plays where? And small sample sizes since we go weeks without seeing them because of Gambling Man Prannit.

Mimi’s crappy handling of the teams lineup is rearing its ugly head as we see friction between Cressa and Cathy, and I hope Cressa remembers she wasnt a starter all season either, so no sense getting into it with a recently deposed one. If Cathy is a real team player like they all should be, she’ll accept her role and see the coach about stuff like this if she has a problem with it.

Another thing here they havent even touched on is what the parents of these players think about the lineup changes. I was a youth coach, and believe me, parents notice stuff like this and they will definitely talk to the coach if they have a problem with their child getting less playing time then before for No Good Damn Reason. Whats sorely lacking in this strip is players going to the coach about stuff right away and instead gabbing about it to their friends/teammates and nothing gets done until things come to a head. It would sure save a lot of grief plus better explain why the hell the changes were made just like that. (Exception was Muscle Man telling Thorp about Prannit)

As far as reality, I was 23-9 in the first round of the NCAA tourney, and my team out of the East, Murray State, is looking better every day with the top 2 seeds now out. So many games in so little time, good luck to everyone who’s playing these games and wagering on brackets. I’m sure Prannit has at least 4 of them. (Brackets I mean)

Poke Sallet Cressa*

Late in the day and I don’t see Rob’s Friday post so I will double up here. Apologies if I’m stepping on toes.

March 18, 2022

We’ve reached the point where Rubin realizes he didn’t pace the plot very well, so he crams multiple games into a single strip and makes it clear that no Milford team will make the playdowns. We’ve also reached a point where we realize that Whigham can’t draw lower body parts very well. Mimi has a case of the gone-ass while Central’s coach has stovepipes for legs and earrings that can be seen from orbit.

Knowing her team is playing out the string, Mimi has decided to play musical guards, with the previously maligned Maddie Bloom now taking the place of Cathy Sasaki in the backcourt. Cathy, ever the team snitch player, isn’t bothered by this. The only person this doesn’t seem to sit well with is…

March 19, 2022

… Cressa Baxter, who’s lucky Gil isn’t the Thorp coaching her team. That whole hard seltzer fiasco would’ve had her expelled and banished to Valley Mod, where she could’ve replaced Corina as the girl with a chip on her shoulder. And what exactly is the source of that chip? Did Cressa get passed over for a service academy appointment? Does she feel she should’ve been made captain over Hollis? Come on, Rubin, don’t leave us hangin’. Did Hollis ignore her when she was being bullied or something?

BTW, I know the song is “Polk Salad Annie” but the plant it’s made from is pokeweed and the actual dish is poke sallet. Learn more about preparing it without killing yourself here.

March 16, 2022

“Coaching”? Bwahahahaha! >snort<

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to post today’s strip but I can’t stop laughing at it. Will update directly. >snort<

Phew! That took longer than I thought.

Of all Milford’s rivals Valley Tech is always the chippiest, and the girl with the blue ponytail does her best to keep up that tradition. First with the reach-in, which begs the question: If someone fouls Hollis, does that make her a Talley whacker? Then, having heard all the on-court talk about Hollis being a selfish, bossy snitch, VT girl fires off a sarcastic fascist salute. Heil Hollis!

All that pales in comparison to the chef’s kiss that is the last panel. Acquiescing to a player’s request to change positions and, well, letting her succeed there is considered “coaching”? Pretty low bar to clear in Milford to be sure, but that’s no bar at all. Maybe Gil agrees and he’s the one being sarcastic.

Oh, and when was the last time you saw anyone play racquetball? For me, I think it was during Poppy Bush’s administration. Even then, everybody’s racquets had strings.

March 12, 2022

Even a Broken Coach Is Right Twice a Day

Filed under: basketball, Brown Hair, Heather Burns, High Five Fail, Madison Time, Mimi Thorp — teenchy @ 2:59 pm

Today’s post title originally had something to do with hogs or squirrels, but I was informed that using that language is considered ableist. Suffice it to say that Mimi got lucky in Madison when Hollis stepped up and into the guard slot with some success. So what if some of her teammates are yapping about her cutting in on someone else’s playing time? That’s part of Mimi’s job – not the job of some first-year zoomie-in-waiting – to nip dissension in the ranks in the bud.

Besides lucky Mimi, everyone else in today’s strip appears to be some kind of rando. These two Lady Mudlarks in the foreground aren’t any we’ve been introduced to by name. They don’t seem too pissy about Hollis’ playing time or lack thereof; they just seem happy to have beaten Madison, even if their handclasp/high five/whatever seems a bit awkward.

This dark blonde/light brown-haired woman Mimi’s chatting to about Hollis’ game: gotta be Heather Burns, right? Who else would give a rat’s about how Hollis played and, what’s more, who else would Mimi give a rat’s to share her thoughts on Hollis’ game with? Hollis’ mom?

Not much else to add today since this is sort of an anti-cliffhanger. Nice set of posts by my fellow bloggers and nice, insightful comments by you gentle readers this week. Hope your team gets selected on Selection Sunday tomorrow. If not, hope they get selected for the NIT. If not, hope they find a decent replacement for their canned coach (at least that’s what I’m hoping).

March 11, 2022

Who wants some playing time?

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Colorist Error, Madison Time, Mimi Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:24 pm

Oh I just knew there’d be unrest on the team over a Coaches Decision. Playing time is dictated by ability and matchups. You play more when you face a team that cant handle your skill set. Doh.

But number 40 is worried about 3 other girls PT instead of worrying about Her game. Even better, she does it while she’s playing. P2 is weird to begin with, 2 players arent even looking at the ball as its being passed to someone off-panel, and Hollis’ arms are oddly placed as if she’s waiting for the Madison player to jump into them to lift her up like a cheerleader mount. And that basket right behind 40 better be Milfords, otherwise she’s passing up a chippie, and Hollis should be running the other way down the court instead of doing the cheerleader thing.

Then in P3 Hollis turns back into the forward she really is by going to the basket and (see above) using her skill set to make a play. Yeah I know guards go to the rim too (Exhibit A: Michael Jordan) but any defense with a brain would quickly switch assignments near the basket and defend Hollis more easily then this little guard is.

I read a book years ago about how girls basketball used to be played. It seems they used to play 6 on 6, but the guards could only play defense, and the game was basically a series of 3 on 3 matchups, with the half-court line being a divider that couldnt be crossed by anyone; you stayed on your side of the court the whole game, and a guard in those days would graduate with a lifetime scoring average of 0.0. It was in the days where it was thought too much exercise was bad for girls, so they mimimized running that way. Such primitive thinking that I’m glad has long been abolished. Anyone else remember that? Or was it just in certain states? Just some food for thought..

So we’ll see how Madison adjusts to the big guard going to the hole, and if Hollis isnt a forward, whoever is in her old position has to be shorter right? Then go at Milfords weakness.

March 7, 2022

Careful With That Sub, Talley

Filed under: huge earrings, Mimi Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:29 am

Hollis Talley wants to try and play guard. Cathy, Hollis’ bestie, will see if they can make room for her. Coach Thorp is game because why not. She doesn’t care if Hollis has never shown her any particular propensity for ball handling, but what could it hurt, right?

Let’s check out some odd body language. Why is Hollis Talley holding her Joe’s Sub sandwich that way. It looks like she going to throw it across the room or smash it into the table? That is just weird. Also, why is Hollis Talley invading Mimi’s space like that? Is there no room to stand on the other side of the desk? Does she want Coach Thorp to get a good look at her vintage leather pants?

eta: Who doesn’t like a little Floyd on Kasmir Pulaski Day?

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