This Week in Milford

December 12, 2018

In Milford, Some of Us All Look Alike

gt12122018

Wow, feels nice to free myself from the constraints of the haiku form.  Wish I had more to say today.  Bet it would feel nice for Whigham to free himself from the constraints of using the same facial features and hairstyles for all of his Mudlarks.  Let’s take a closer look at that first panel, shall we?

gt121218a

Do these two not have identical noses?  I leave it to you, gentle readers, to draw your own conclusions.  Guessing Marcell doesn’t use his first name, Duwan.

I reckon after multiple seasons Rubin has decided to imbue Man of a Thousand Faces and Hairstyles “Marginal” Mike Filion with a personality and backstory.  He’s been quiet ever since we’ve been introduced to him, speaking only when spoken to by Gil or Kaz.  But Neal needs another extroverted look-at-me guy to make his plots go, so Filion it is.

Meanwhile Bobby Howry plots his revenge via billboard…

Advertisements

December 5, 2018

But Did Milford Beat Tilden?

Remember football?

Pepperidge Farm remembers

But Milford doesn’t

 

“VT P-U”? Is

Valley Tech playing Dover

Boys from Pimento?

 

Rough year for Techies

Old Dominion beat VT

Now it’s Milford’s turn

 

Milford not used to

Being number one for a while

Sign guy broke his wrist

 

Hiawatha James

Remember him from baseball?

Great name but no lines

 

Know what else is an

Uncharacteristic romp?

No Jansen and no Bolek

 

Also no cheap shots

Express or implied

Where’s the burial?

 

 

metapost: Trying to learn to use the new WordPress Gutenberg editor on the fly.  Hope this doesn’t look too wonky.

September 26, 2018

Save Filion

gt09262018

Today’s missing panel 4:

Kaz (chasing Andre Ruffin down the hall because, unlike Gil, he doesn’t have the power to pull kids out of class): Who’s this punter Mike Filion told me you know about?

Andre Ruffin: Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw him pass out at Schultz’s Polynesian Garden last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Who is this imposter claiming to be Mike Filion, anyway? Whigham needs to find a model for Filion and stick with it.  No matter how he looks, Filion has smarts enough to throw Kaz off his scent.  He saw that shitshow unfold in Oakwood and wants no part of it. Maybe he’s no unicorn in football cleats but he knows that one roughing the kicker call (and I wouldn’t put it past Valley Tech to try it) and Milford’s out a starting QB.

Anyone wanna bet that the kid who used to be pretty good at punting is movie buff Joe Bolek? Yeah, didn’t think so.

 

September 19, 2018

Freddy Got Fingered – No, Really

gt09192018

I was looking for a Freddy Got Fingered reference in the archives and sure enough I found one.  Still it wasn’t a post title, so…

Freddy’s form looks to be a bit off, but not as far off as the Oakwood ballcarrier in P2 who appears to be running parallel to the goal line, not towards it.  Could be because he’s dislocated his head, or that he’s distracted by Gil’s withered monkey’s paw on his shoulder. Maybe he needs to watch Sam Koch do it.  Better still, maybe he needs to find Sam’s golf bag.  (Seriously, if you have a few minutes to spare, read that golf bag link.  Pretty interesting stuff if you’re a football fan.)  Even better still, after this game take a practice teaching some other schmoe how to long snap and get Sam Finn back there to punt.  Then Freddy can get back to the business of placekicking, working at the family auto mall and dreaming of soccer.

Speaking of soccer [read in Andy Rooney’s voice]: Did you ever notice that Neal Rubin holds a not-so-secret grudge against soccer?  Earlier this week, Freddy uses soccer as an excuse for his lack of punting ability. (Okay, I can buy that, since we’re talking about two entirely different approaches toward putting foot to ball.)  In our last arc, Gil’s Golfing Gallants had turned to golf as an escape from soccer concussions (well, at least one of them; the other just went along for the ride).  Before that, we had the whole Heather Burns saga with mediocre girl soccer player turned backup tight end via the training room. Going back further still we had Milford’s soccer players and coach portrayed as villains for not doing Gil’s bidding and placekicking for him*, which in turn led to the Brody Abro Era. Why does Rubin hate the beautiful game? [Andy Rooney voice off, Linda Richman voice on].  Talk amongst yourselves.

 

*BTW, note in that link that I once had a different screen name. I don’t recall what made me change it.  Note also that the comments section was about triple of what we have now.  Wha’ happen’?

September 15, 2018

Oh Snap!

gt09152018

Since we’ve dropped the non sequitur about student film buffs and Chekov’s crosswalk for the moment, let’s turn our attention to the practice field where Gil and his staff are turning their attention to special teams.  Let’s break down what we’re seeing here:

  1. Steve Boone is looking younger every year. Must be all that blood going to his cheeks that doesn’t have to go to his left arm anymore.  Oops, did I just say that out loud?
  2. Speaking of left arms, what the hell is going on with Gil’s? Is he supposed to be cupping his hand to his mouth or his ear? Is he signaling for a first down or is that one of those once-innocuous hand gestures that’s now some kind of secret white supremacist code signal?
  3. Sam Finn was a backup at guard for a certain greasy-haired Mudlark who shall remain nameless last season. He’ll probably get more touches than said greasy-haired player this season which leads me to…
  4. Do kids really start specializing as long snappers in high school?  Does Milford, which had to play a female ex-trainer at tight end last season, really have the kind of depth for that?  They apparently don’t have anyone who knows how to punt, which does occasionally happen on high school teams. Can Gil still not convince any soccer players to come out for the team?
  5. Why has Gil yet to retire  the jersey number of his unicorn in football cleats?

metapost: If any of you TWIMers out there live in the path of Hurricane/Tropical Storm Florence, please check in and let us know you’re okay.  Most of teenchy’s friends and fam in Bakst country are doing fine, some without power but none with major property damage or yet displaced from their homes.  Fingers crossed…

September 12, 2018

Frank Gehry’s Fast Food Masterpiece

091218

If you’re not knocked off balance by panels one and two, in which the architect of The Bucket tells Euclid to piss off, then the shifting narrative and stilted dialogue (plus mystery girl in panel two) shouldn’t present too much more of a challenge to parse.

For myself, I can confess nothing but disappointment that we aren’t getting another chance to continue talking about the shitty cars we drove in high school (and/or are driving presently). As it stands, I suppose we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to understand why these characters are being introduced.

Bonus question: Why is the strip’s date inserted front and center of panel two?

September 5, 2018

In the Opener, I’ll Take the Mudlarks and 8 1/2

gt09052018

Man, the last thing I want to read in Gil Thorp is Kaz talking about Kelly’s sexual proclivities.  Oh, wait, he said Fellini. Never mind.

Does an awkward fist bump qualify as a “High Five Fail”?  Today, I’m calling that it does.

Quick cut to the practice field and there’s Marjie with her canister of pepper spray. Mouseketeer Roll Call will begin tomorrow and Joe Bolek will get namechecked along with a few other of Rubin’s friends.  Something tells me Bolek will flop as a ballplayer, or suffer a season-ending injury, and replace Kaz as the “film guru” on the Mudlark coaching staff.  Then he can tell Gil what kind of wacky leather-helmet era formation he can spring on the Valley Conference to make up for the usual fundamental shortcomings that plague the Milford football program.

Hold up: is that Marty standing next to Gil and Marjie?  Looks like he’s still taking hits from that tall can of STFU Gil gave him at the end of basketball season.  Let’s see how long that lasts.

August 29, 2018

Oh, Belvedere! Come Heah, Boy!

Filed under: CC's, freak hands, Gil Thorp, golf, Neal's friends — teenchy @ 6:11 am

gt08292018

Fifteen-to-seventeen-year-olds?  Stroke play?  Haven’t heard a single “no”?  TMI, Gil.  Way TMI.

I’m supposing that today is another jump around from CC to CC: after yesterday’s call on Bad Kerning Birch River CC we go to a Bantam Chef masquerading as Belvedere Golf Course then back to Mu Gamma Delta House – er, Milford CC and John Jawor reporting in on the number of invitees he’s groomed.  In between we get a closeup of a young Horatio Caine,  least I think that’s who he is since he sure ain’t that guy standing in front of Belvedere’s clubhouse.

If Horatio et al. were so appalled by what happened at the Valley Juniors Qualifier, why didn’t they have independent scorekeepers with each foursome, as the TWIM hive mind has commented ad nauseam here? If they really wanted to stand up for integrity, why didn’t they call bullshit on the cheating kids right there on the spot?  Would’ve saved Gil all this work.  Maybe he was looking for an excuse to get away from Mimi and her goo-goo eyes and wine breath.

You know who’d be having a field day with this?  Marty Moon, that’s who!  It’s not like he has hasn’t (edit: grammar, oops) had experience with golf cheats or anything.  The whole Participation Trophy angle of the Milford Invitational would rub his anti-PC self just the wrong way.  Too bad he’s in self-imposed exile this summer.  Probably brushing up on his Spanish.

Older Posts »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.