This Week in Milford

July 20, 2022

Are these guys all gonna go join John Pascoe at State?

A little over a week in and Barajas has run out of dialogue? Five straight panels of nothin’ but action? How are we supposed to respond to this?

I suppose by nitpicking the artwork to begin with. It’s an “unforgiving Milford night” that looks like daytime. That’s another one that’s on Whigham and/or the colorists. Ditto with the Milford and Oakwood uniforms. As I’ve often railed on in the past, color-on-color games are rare at any level with only a few exceptions. Finally, if this is a flashback, when did this game occur? (I think a call to TWIM SID billytheskink may be in order.) Did Milford’s uniforms canonically look like that that season? Take a look at these examples from the Berrill and McLaughlin eras – or, heck, from the earlier Rubin & Whigham era. Canon is important in the Thorpiverse, except when the matter of the Thorp kids comes up.

The next thing to nitpick is the lingo. “It’s good!” usually refers to a kick attempt for a field goal or PAT, not a touchdown. Since the Mudlarks were down by six, presumably Tays’ TD catch tied the score and it was the point after kick that was good. But what’s this “State” thing? It’s “playdowns” around the Valley and don’t you fergit it!

Call it whatever you will, we come away from today’s strip knowing that Milford made the football postseason in whatever season this represents. Why does Gil look so pissy, then? Is it because the player behind him has started bonking him on the head, or is it his typical response when he figures out he’s gonna have to do more coaching that he thought would be necessary during a season?

June 1, 2022

Bunts, Flubs, Fakes, Haiku

“Some kind of blind spot?

Let’s drop some bunts and find out.”

That’s called “coaching,” Gil!

Finally, it’s the

Approach we’ve been waiting for:

“Hit ’em where they ain’t”

Wee Willie Keeler

Used that batting strategy

And so will Oakwood

Old school? Yeah, makes sense

since Oakwood’s coach kinda looks

like the Reds’ mascot

It’ll work better

Than Gil’s played out old chestnut

Delaware Wing-T

Scooter! Wanna lead

the Valley in perfect bunts?

Transfer to Oakwood!

March 19, 2022

Poke Sallet Cressa*

Late in the day and I don’t see Rob’s Friday post so I will double up here. Apologies if I’m stepping on toes.

March 18, 2022

We’ve reached the point where Rubin realizes he didn’t pace the plot very well, so he crams multiple games into a single strip and makes it clear that no Milford team will make the playdowns. We’ve also reached a point where we realize that Whigham can’t draw lower body parts very well. Mimi has a case of the gone-ass while Central’s coach has stovepipes for legs and earrings that can be seen from orbit.

Knowing her team is playing out the string, Mimi has decided to play musical guards, with the previously maligned Maddie Bloom now taking the place of Cathy Sasaki in the backcourt. Cathy, ever the team snitch player, isn’t bothered by this. The only person this doesn’t seem to sit well with is…

March 19, 2022

… Cressa Baxter, who’s lucky Gil isn’t the Thorp coaching her team. That whole hard seltzer fiasco would’ve had her expelled and banished to Valley Mod, where she could’ve replaced Corina as the girl with a chip on her shoulder. And what exactly is the source of that chip? Did Cressa get passed over for a service academy appointment? Does she feel she should’ve been made captain over Hollis? Come on, Rubin, don’t leave us hangin’. Did Hollis ignore her when she was being bullied or something?

BTW, I know the song is “Polk Salad Annie” but the plant it’s made from is pokeweed and the actual dish is poke sallet. Learn more about preparing it without killing yourself here.

September 22, 2021

#blownoffthorp

So much for that breather! The Mudlarks slow things down so much that night turned into day. Milford scores 13 more points after switching from the vaunted Delaware Wing-T and hangs half a hundred on Oakwood. It’s a wonder Tod Andrews (that is Tod, innit?) isn’t giving Gil a piece of his mind for running up the score on his hapless Owls.

Up in his crate, Evil Spock Marty gleefully calls the game. No doubt he believes Marjie Ducey’s departure to warmer pastures has cemented Milford’s status as his town. Marty had better keep his head on a swivel, though, since Heather Burns is on the scene quicker than you can tweet #radioisadyingmedium.

Heather’s thumbs are quicker than Marty’s lungs, and her approach to sports reporting is fresher than Shane Beamer’s postgame presser after the Georgia-South Carolina game. She’s got no time for Gil’s old man football coachspeak; she’s off to track down the man of the hour, Chance “Don’t Call Me Blowtop” Macy, and give him a squeeze.

Careful where you grab Chance, Heather: five years’ age difference might not mean much to the cruisers at Barney’s Pub (speaking of Evil Spock Marty) but when it’s a recent high school graduate and a high school senior, well, let’s just say it’s not always looked upon kindly.

September 20, 2021

Call It Milford Blue

Filed under: actual action, Colorist Error, football, Oakwood — nedryerson @ 3:20 am

More Oakwood action!

Tevin Claxton’s throwing motion looks a little odd. The Milford helmet behind him is also odd. It turned Oakwood Blue. I guess someone defected because they didn’t like sloppy joes and cleaning up after massive bonfires (of inanity).

As Gil predicted, it’s turning into the Chance Macy Show. He’s got a receiving touchdown and is breaking loose for a long punt return. It’s probably a score, but we’ll find out more tomorrow.

This blistering pace is wearing me out. I think I’ll go back to bed.

September 18, 2021

Minor Threat?

Filed under: actual action, big arms, football, Highlight reel, Oakwood — teenchy @ 6:53 pm

All action today with little dialogue to snark, so let’s get all Heather Burns-y and study the film.

P1: Where is #32’s thumb? It’s possible to carry the ball without one, but it’s a little awkward. Oakwood’s defender has Kaiser Wilhelm arms.

P2: Is the Mudlark blocker holding? Looks like he’s got a hand on that Tarheel Owl’s shoulder. The ballcarrier looks to be running into the block just the same.

P3: Chance Macy’s mailbag’s gonna get a lot smaller – and his calls to the office fewer – if he keeps toting that rock like that. Even those scrawny defenders will be able to strip that.

Today’s post title a nod not only to Chance Macy but to a longtime fixture on the DC punk scene.

June 28, 2021

Lukewarm? All The Heat Has Escaped By Now

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Oakwood, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 3:47 am

There was another baseball game against Oakwood. All we are shown is victorious fist bumping after a win. That’s actual action…of a sort.

There isn’t time or space to give us a glimpse at the post game festivities at The Bucket. The narration box suggests that Zane Clark attended the festivities at The Bucket before heading to the library for more studying. I wonder if Mr. Brito drives by to see how late the library stays open and counts cars in the parking lot.

Well, look who’s bringing Zane some of that (tepid) Coffee Cantina brew. It’s Katie Brito! So things are good between these two. Zane references his coffee idea for the library*. Ha ha ha. Can we freeze and roll credits on these lamoids now.

*Yeah, the library should be operating and staffing a coffee stand that will be open just in case Zane (or the homeless guy who sleeps behind the unplugged microfiche reader) needs a caffeine fix. That’s a great use of community resources.

March 14, 2021

Time for Some Whompin’ Action!

**THIS IS THE SATURDAY POST**

The Lady Mudlarks go all West Virginia Ninja on Oakwood…

… but not before dropping some heavy hints on now-designated Shallow Girl Tessi Milton.

I’ve admired Whigham’s shot-blocking artwork in the past and here again, he delivers. I gotta say Becca’s stuff on that Oakwood girl is pretty sweet but how high is she that she can make that block with her arm out almost horizontally? Maybe the Oak is just that low – more like an acorn, amirite? In any event Milford gets the W though I wouldn’t exactly call six points a whompin’.

Minus the Contessa (hey, that’d make a good band name!), the Lady Mudlarks corral Vic at the announcer’s table. What’s next for young Mr. Doucette may be best left to the imagination, or at least until Monday. Will he roll up to the prom in his GMC Safari with a harem posse? Stay tuned…

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