This Week in Milford

March 27, 2019

“And we care because?” could be this blog’s motto

gt03272019

Well, that explains everything, doesn’t it?  The big “RIN” in the sign behind Andre’s head yesterday was short for “RINK,” which Milford has one of, apparently.  (Of course it does. How else could kids practice for skating at the Winter Blast in Central City? And why hasn’t ice hockey ever been a thing in Milford?)  Andre watched his little sister – odd hand gesture meant to signify “little” – skate and saw a group of synchronized skaters perform*. On his way home he got his cheek pierced and had that shark tooth he found at the beach on summer vacation mounted on a stud.

Oh, yeah, one of the synchronized skaters is also one of Mimi’s softball players.  Heaven forbid she prioritize something else over Milford High sportsball!  Prepare for multiple strips shaming poor Molly Hatchet off the ice and onto the diamond.

*I’m sorry, but every time I read “synchronized skating” I thought “synchronized swimming” and could only picture Harry Shearer and Martin Short in that old SNL skit.  Skate away, that’s all.

March 13, 2019

Your 2019 Lady Mudlarks: Flirtin’ With Disaster

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey, Mimi Thorp, Neal's friends, Pantheon of Hair, softball — teenchy @ 5:41 am

gt03132019

The jokes will write themselves.

It’s only a matter of what kind of disaster will befall them.

I’m running with the B&W version of the strip ’cause I believe Mimi’s brunette locks to be a colorist’s anomaly, not an indication that she’s given up dyeing her hair in an effort to gain more attention for Milford girls’ sports or to fulfill Gil’s Kenzie Hanley fantasy.  Also pulling the Pantheon of Hair tag for Molly’s kinda sorta pixie cut.

January 28, 2019

Perfect Kaz

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Pantheon of Hair — nedryerson @ 4:56 am

01282019

The Mudlarks are not pleased with the ripping they receive from Robby Howry and they want revenge! We’re not sure which clever boy suggests the swirly (for the uninitiated, a swirly is holding somebody’s head in the toilet and flushing) but a more level headed boy rightly points out that it’s hard to give some random civilian a swirly without being in the same bathroom with him. Extra points for that sharp tack!

Of course the ever vigilant amateur detective Coach Kaz sniffs out this plan to exact revenge on Robby before it can go any further than the logistics of how to get Robby’s head in a toilet. He levels stern steely blues at the boys and establishes a Hands Off Robby rule.

The real star of this strip is Coach Kaz’s hair. We’re all very familiar with Kaz’s coiffure, but it really pops in all three panels today. It’s stacked up nicely on top, it cascades down the back, it fans out nicely around his collar and is accented by precise, geometrically manicured sideburns. As Warren Zevon said of his famous werewolf, “his hair was perfect!”

The title is inspired by Perfect Tommy from Buckaroo Banzai. Kaz’s do isn’t exactly the same as Tommy’s but they share a certain essence.

January 26, 2019

Getting Ripped Every Day

gt01262019

In typical Gil Thorp Saturday cliffhanger fashion, none of the Mudlark seniors come right out and give rando underclassman the straight dope on B/Robby.  Just some passive-aggressive reasons they didn’t like him.  Could it be that none of them actually know what went down?

I’m having a difficult time figuring out what’s on Andre’s locker shelf.  The rectangular object with the “12” on top I figure to be a shoebox with a genericized Nike logo, unless Andre’s gone super retro with a pair of Batas like Magic Johnson used to wear.  But what’s that next to the shoebox?  Pack of Luckies?  Some Gold Bond?

Also having a difficult time figuring out how B/Robby is sustaining himself such that he can go on Marty’s show every day.  I can’t imagine he’s on the WDIG payroll… yet… but as soon as station manager LBJ figures out Howry will cost him relative peanuts, Marty will be on the streets and dumpster diving behind Schultz’s Polynesian quicker than you can say “Clumsy Amy Lange.”

November 14, 2018

Gil’s Next Trick Play: The Tiki Eligible

gt11142018

Kaz can’t conclude that

Tiki eligible, so

Off to the weight room

 

Then while bench pressing

Bet Kaz wasn’t expecting

Gil to teabag him

 

There’s no clear-cut call

On eligibility

To keep us guessing

 

Gil Thorp logic:

“What would our opponents think?”

They don’t have to know

 

No Urban Meyer

More like Kirby Not-so-Smart

Or next Petrino

 

Andre Ruffin sez:

“Wish you were playing tonight.”

“The jury’s still out.”

 

Benched Tiki again?

Didn’t even dress him out?

Why did he show up?

 

Surely Marty Moon

Has noticed. He should be on

This like white on rice

 

Through all this shitshow

Where’s the movie buff punter?

Off watching game film?

 

Is he reviewing

This travesty of a plot?

Give it the finger

October 24, 2018

Same Shirt, Different Day

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos, Pantheon of Hair — teenchy @ 6:14 am

gt10242018

He’s a cornerback!

He’s a safety!

He’s a floor wax!

He’s a dessert topping!

What isn’t he? Nosy, like you bastiges.

Since having read timbuys’ comment yesterday to the effect that Gil Thorp may be a constrained comic, I can’t shake that idea out of my head. So much so, in fact, that I’m sorely tempted to constrain my TWIM posts for the remainder of this arc to haiku form. What say ye?

October 20, 2018

Let’s Hope Gil Doesn’t Bring In Social Services Again

gt10202018

We’ve been down this road before, a little over a year and a half ago to be exact. Nosy classmates stick their noses where they don’t belong, Gil gets wind and the next thing you know another Milford High kid’s getting his family busted up like…uh, well, another family that got busted up.  And what’s up with Andre and Movie Boy Weird Joe Bolek getting so chummy so quickly? (I thought Andre’s first word balloon had an extraneous comma.) Are they gonna turn into this year’s Ken Brown and Mike Granger?

Why should Gil know about Tiki’s excessive tardiness? Is there some unwritten rule that Milford athletes who are chronically late to school get kicked off the team, or suspended for the first half against a cupcake non-conference opponent, or something?  Gil suspended Barry Bader for getting ejected but made him travel with the team; maybe there’s some similar obscure punishment in Tiki’s future. (Sorry, I left this sentence unfinished last night.)

Stranger things have happened, so if this ends with a GoFundMe to replace Tiki’s beater Plymouth with something newer so he can get his sister to school on time, then I’m cool with it. Sorry to keep y’all waiting on today’s post.

 

 

October 8, 2018

Excuse Me? I’m Marginal Mike Filion Now?

Filed under: actual action, football, Pantheon of Hair — nedryerson @ 6:36 am

10082018

Mike Filion has to do a lot of scutwork in Milford. He’s the quarterback who Gil’s stuck with because unicorns like True “Not Tru” Standish only wander into Milford once in a century. He gave Kaz a lead on Joe Bolek, but there’s no sense of urgency to do anything right away. So Marginal Mike Filion gets to punt this week.

Joe Bolek and his film club decide to swing by and see if Joe might deign to consider punting for the Mudlarks. Will he or won’t he? We’re on the edge of our seats.

Joe and his entourage are really getting on my nerves, especially from a hair standpoint. That one guy or girl has the Slim Chance/Dafne Dafonte/Kevin Pelwecki hair strands which I’d be happy to never see again. Joe’s hair isn’t consistent. I think at some point last week while Kaz was looking for a punter, Joe and Marginal Mike’s hair got switched around. Let’s not even talk about coloring.

What’s up with the dude sitting in front of Bolek and friends? He’s aggressively splayed out all over the bleachers while Joe’s crew also seem to be encroaching on the seats in front of them with their feet. It looks like somebody wants to start something here. We could use a good brawl. I’ll bet Mr. Man Spreader could hold his own against Joe & The Film Crew.

« Newer PostsOlder Posts »

Blog at WordPress.com.