This Week in Milford

June 14, 2018

Correction: Orange Is the New Dafonte*

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*and how many times have I relied on the “Orange Is the New Black” trope? Don’t ask.

Does anyone know how to lay the bases out at Valley Tech?  The outside edge of the bag goes along the baseline with the rest of the bag in fair territory, not the inside of the bag with the rest in foul territory.  Never mind that: does that field have no foul territory or what?  I wonder how many kids hurt themselves chasing after foul balls and falling over that parapet in front of the dugout.  No matter, visiting players shouldn’t swing from the dugout roof.

Valley Tech’s messed up ball field pales in comparison to today’s big reveal: Dafne Dafonte was the second driver!  How else would she be going to prison and seeing Del?   Oh wait, prisons aren’t co-ed?  Never mind.  My head spins with the crazy schemes Dafne could’ve cooked up to make this happen.  Maybe she secretly lusted after True Standish, wanted Boo Radley killed off and, disguised as Shelly from Selasky’s Supper Club, got Del Bader drunk so he would cause death.  Hey, it’s not that much more far-fetched than the idea of Del agreeing to speak to some nosy kid from his son’s high school’s newspaper in order to somehow clear his name.

Meanwhile, another Trumpet staffer, having picked up one of Holly Dobbs’ left-behind wigs, amuses herself with some newfound gadgetry.  Photography/videography buffs, help me out please: isn’t she wearing a steadicam harness?  Are those designed to work with 1960s-era film cameras like the one she’s holding?

metapost: Ned, Tim and the rest of the TWIM community have taken this blog to another level this week.  Here’s hoping I can keep it up.  Thanks to all for keeping this a going concern.

 

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March 12, 2018

Is That A Grundig?

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Happy Monday! We have sprung forward and it seems waaay to early to be doing this. Thankfully there is much to chew on in today’s installment, so let’s jump in!

Yes, indeed, Marty Moon just walked off the job when the kids turned up the heat. This prompts SO many questions about WDIG’s sports broadcasts as well as the nature of Marty’s job. Those kids were getting on Marty’s nerves so he just strolls out? Did the station have something ready to throw on the air? (An old episode of the Joe Morgan Show?*) Will Marty face any heat from management about walking away from an assignment? (“Well, we can’t really fire him. We don’t actually pay him to do the games.”)

So, Marty takes to the airwaves from his studio safe space to rant about “a few ingrates and malcontents, fueled by Gil Thorp’s indifference”. Oh, that is so delicious. Actually, I think that quote should probably be included on the masthead of This Week In Milford!

The icing on the cake is that Gil is actually at home, listening to Marty, live on the radio! Gil, has it come to this? This is your Saturday? If Marty finds out that you’re actually listening to him, you know you’re gonna unleash the beast! Choose your words carefully when Marty comes to see you on Monday. (Is this Monday, I forget.)

Speaking of radio, I spent more than a few minutes trying to identify Gil’s radio, or at least something close enough that might have served as Whigham’s inspiration. I’m kind of fascinated by radios and the evolution of design. I didn’t really find a good match. Do any of you other malcontents have any ideas?

*The absolute worse thing I’ve ever heard on sports radio. I actually reached out the program director of a local sports radio station and begged him to put anything else on.

December 18, 2017

All Wet

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Goshen won the slugfest in the rain. We had one panel of action in said slugfest, so it wasn’t exactly clear who wore what unis, but I believe Goshen was in the dark jerseys. So that would be the Goshen guys standing miserably in the rain waiting until the coach finishes up his handshake before they can get to the visitors locker room and get out of their waterlogged gear. (I was pondering that situation last night watching the conclusion of the Patriots vs. Steelers game and wondering about the logistics of dealing with tons of soaking wet uniforms, pads, shoes, etc. In the NFL and even big time college football, of course there’s considerable staff and resources for such things, but it can’t be too pleasant in high school.)

If you look even deeper into the first panel, you’ll also see some very devoted fans who are still parked in the stands. One has a comically small umbrella and another appears to be holding a folded piece of paper or cardboard over his head. They certainly got soaked. Maybe they have to wait to ride back to Goshen with the team.

Marjie Ducey looks like she got pretty soaked. That might be an early Christmas present for robmize, at least in concept.

What’s left to chew on here? Puddles on Steve Luhm’s shiny floors, more shiny floors, and more Ricky Soto/UG drama.

December 4, 2017

Such A Fine Head

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Prince Valiant stops by to fill in for Connie Soto in the first panel. Rick doesn’t notice. Is this a concussion symptom, when a comic strip character pretends to be your mom and you don’t notice? I tried calling the Mayo Clinic to see if their neurology department would weigh in, but they keep hanging up on me.

There’s a semi-mysterious object on top of the Soto refrigerator. It reminds me of the folded towels that can sometimes be spotted on the top of the lockers in the Milford locker room. Maybe it’s a sad cookie jar. When I was a kid, our refrigerator was out in the open like that and all sorts of stuff got stowed up there, e.g. the phone book. I guess it made sense because the phone was in the kitchen. I digress because I don’t really want to address…

the second panel. Okay, so Connie is back and now she’s giving Ricky a mysterious look. It’s not really a mother concerned about son’s concussion look, but I’m not sure what it is. As to what Connie means by second opinion, well, that’s not clear either. No doubt, UG is standing just outside of frame waiting to give his opinion, which is no doubt medically sound and unbiased. Thankfully, we were spared from UG tipping down his glasses again.

The subtext of the last panel is Gil’s pissiness because he thought he and Kaz were both going to dress up today, but Kaz  just went with the traditional black t-shirt. “No, you know I can’t wear dress shirts, Gil. My arms are too big and my waist in so narrow, but purple is a great color on you.”

November 30, 2017

All Hands On Rick!

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In the forest of hands found in today’s strip Rick Scott’s speaks the loudest, as it tells pissy Uncle Gary to talk to it. We could have fun all day coming up with witty retorts to Uncle Gary’s question but I think Rick does well enough making the point that he needs to stfu when grown folks is talkin’.

Meanwhile I dunno what Connie Soto’s doing with hers: checking out the results of her facial/wax job, maybe. She’s managed to pop her ear out from under her hairdo, giving her that Middle Earth look that pops up in Milford from time to time.

November 14, 2017

Play Misty For Me

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Metapost: There’s no way I can follow that masterpiece by Ned yesterday. Simply magnificent. That said, much like dealing with a recalcitrant whitehead, let’s squeeze out a post today and be done with it.

Panel 1: I am simultaneously comforted that Little Ricky appears to have a crappier cellphone than I do and then I remember that these are just drawings and am discomfited by having taken comfort in imagining that. Hey, did someone say something about concussions? Awesome.

Panel 2: We give Rick a hard time around here but, to be completely fair to him*, his reactions to his Uncle are the most reasonable depicted behavior by practically any citizen of Milford and/or the broader Valley region.

Panel 3: If I have to look at another panel of Uncle Gary touching his face, I am out. This is not negotiable.

Inspiration for today’s post title**:

* As one ought while, again, bearing in mind that we’re talking about fictional characters.

** I’ve seen, I dunno, maybe half of Clint Eastwood’s films which he’s directed and appeared. This is not one of them. I originally was going for something like this, but decided that trailer was more fun/insane.

 

November 3, 2017

Just when you thought it was safe….

….to miss Rick singing at a game, here it comes. But first we have to look at his foot with a pumpkin on top of it. Oh yeah, that supposed to be an icebag. Last time I was that close to a foot I walked into the tiny  pro shop at a golf course and the female employee was standing on a chair barefoot dusting the ceiling fan. I told her I almost ran into her feet, and resisted a sudden urge to tickle them. Lol. If I ever write about my golf career this story would definitely make the list. Life has those unique moments you always remember.

P2 – really, how many trainers at a high school have pictures of leg bones on their wall? This isnt a doctors office for chrissake. And the diagrams have boxes pointing to them containing 4 straight lines, which are supposed to be words but shit they dont even look close to it. And no way is anyones kneecap THAT big compared to their leg bones. Jeez. F for artwork today.

And in P3 we have Uncle Dickwad on his PC lining up Ricks singing gig in front of millions of YouTube fans. I have a feeling now its not before a game, but somewhere else. Hey, as long as its not on this strip I’m fine with it.

October 5, 2017

Soto’s Escort Service

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Three days to finish one play, and the first game will be finished by the end of the first week of October. Something tells me at least three games will be told and not shown in a single strip in about a week or two. Rick Soto’s exploding head tips us to his imminent concussion, so while we’re waiting for that reveal let’s focus on the little details:

(1) Whigham’s shout-out to his mom via Milford’s and Oakwood’s glow-in-the-dark helmet decals, ’cause working it into a shirt collar like they did at Wendy’s just isn’t as dramatic.

(b) Again with the confusing numbers: Filllllllllion has been shown as #9 to date but the guy carrying the big croissant behind Soto is wearing a double-digit number. The Oakwood player Soto’s blocking is pretty big to be wearing #14, don’tchathink? Maybe he’s a former lineman who wants to be a ball carrier, too. Maybe he’s the son of The Battleship Lorenzen.

(iii) Marty’s scar face is particularly nightmare-inducing today. The dried hooch crust in his beard is a nice touch, as are the slats in the lid of his crate. At least he trims his nose hair.

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