This Week in Milford

August 14, 2017

Radical Grilling

Filed under: google nonsense, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects — nedryerson @ 6:03 am

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Oh boy! So now Jaquan and Trey are hanging out in the backyard grilling and enjoying a brew? I think these two are just looking to settle down together in Milford. C’mon guys, it’s 2017! You don’t need to construct an elaborate personal trainer/injury rehabbing NBA player scenario as cover. Milford may be a tank town, but it is a diverse and accepting environment for all.

Now, let’s talk about that giant chunk of steak and the grilling implement Trey is using to flip it over. How is he lifting the meat with that thing? It looks like a metal spatula that is just jammed into the meat. Does that instrument have sharpened tines on the end? Perhaps it’s a barbeque spatulork*?

Also, it looks like Jaquan is now interested in trying to break into PRO FOOTBALL. This notion was inspired by how well he caught footballs from Art Burns while working out with Heather Burns and The Secret Pelwecki. Also, Heather’s inspirational ad hoc coaching of 7-on-7 summer league football played a role.

*I thought I invented the notion of the spatulork as I was writing this post. Given the propensity for my mind to wander while creating posts for this blog, I felt compelled to google spatulork to see if the concept was already in existence. Not only is the spatulork a preexisting thing, it was also the subject of a short film. I stopped short of embedding the clip. It’s not that great. Heck, the spatulork is merely a McGuffin in the narrative. (If you make it to the end of the video, you can watch Spatulork II. I couldn’t stick with it. I was emotionally drained from watching the first one.)

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June 22, 2017

Gil Gets His Dig(g)s In

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One of our Central City protestors (the Tommie Smith/John Carlos descendant) gets a name and becomes as central to the plot as any Milford girl.  The “other item” Gil was shaking Skip down for must have been her name and digits. I leave it to the readership to discuss the propriety of what Skip and Gil have done. Suffice it to say it doesn’t leave a very good taste in my mouth.

I’m assuming Gil’s convo with, I’m assuming, Ryan will pick up tomorrow with, I’m assuming, what Gil said to Ms. Diggs after appreciating her “taking a stand” that wasn’t written here.  Odds are it will involve some gentle variation on “keep your ****in’ mouth shut.”  I’ll be surprised if her response isn’t some variation on the “HA” behind her head.

From the Pantheon of Mysterious Objects Dept.: Diagonally striped thing above and to the right of the GIL mug (or is it below and to the right? I can’t tell); backdrop of P3 (they’re standing outdoors, presumably; is it a huge backstop, more Prairie Style Windows, or what?).

June 20, 2017

Good News Is Trouble-Free

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Well, the mystery of Skip Farrow wrapped up pretty quickly. Speaking of, Skip sure does have an interesting take on the situation. Since everybody except the Cane is graduating, there shouldn’t be any issues… And, since graduation should’ve happened about a month ago, we really should be in the clear.

Bonus points:

The ‘leader’ of the ‘protest’ is almost as tall as Skip.

I love the clock on the window in panel one.

Bonus questions:

What is on the back of that student’s shirt?

Why does Skip have to call Gil from a wall phone?

What is supposed to be displayed over the window in panel two? I’m thinking worst drawing of the solar system ever.

June 17, 2017

Blooper Reel

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Daftpunk can’t run her precious little hit piece on Ryan, so she quits the school paper.  Ryan gets rattled when Central girls troll him about an event that (according to his parents) wasn’t all that, so he loses his mojo and quits on the mound. Now the rest of the Milford baseball team quits all around him and the season goes down the crapper. Gil’s quit on his team too: relying on hope and working on his grilling technique, he could give two shits about the rest of the season. Yo Gil, out here in the real world, winners eat steaks, losers eat franks and beans. (By the way, what the hell is Gil wearing on his wrist? Is he talking to Dick Tracy on that thing? Maybe he’s talking with that talking baseball with EES in P1. And what the complete hell is with his hand with integrated spatula?)

Even the color monkeys phoned it in on this one: they didn’t color the Jefferson player or whatever it is Mimi’s got in that pitcher (and don’t tell me it’s straight Everclear). I’m beginning to get the idea that the Whigrub brain trust has run out of ideas on how to wrap this arc up; not saying they’ve quit on it yet, but it’s starting to feel that way.

I’ve been on the road all day to Bakst country and just arrived only a few minutes ago.  I almost quit on this post for today, so I hope you’ll forgive me for its brusque nature.

 

May 6, 2017

Chill, ‘Cane! You still got the W

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Having been yanked from the game by Gil, Ryan Van Auken looks startled as he trudges into the Milford dugout.  And no wonder: judging from the motion lines Whigham drew in, Ryan’s glove arced over his left shoulder before hitting the back of the bench in front of him.  He must have thrown that shit before he walked in the dugout!

Bobby Mitchell (not the one who integrated the Redskins) earns the save when a levitating Barry Bader wills the ball to rise vertically into his outstretched glove.  Awful nice of Gil to put stripes down the sides of the Mudlark unis; gives Barry a way to relate to his old man. But what is that leaf-like object hovering over Barry’s rear end?  An actual tobacco leaf?  An indicator of his preferred kinks?  Or something else?  Talk amongst yourselves.

April 20, 2017

Saved by the ‘Cane

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Maybe Wellington batters could make contact with Ryan Van Auken’s stuff if they weren’t using cricket bats.  Maybe CB Bucknor has found an umpiring job closer to his level and called that a foul tip.  Maybe Wellington’s first base coach (if they have one) shouldn’t let his baserunners get such a huge lead trailing by three runs.  Maybe Wellington shouldn’t channel the early 1980s Phillies by wearing powder blues at home. Maybe I should go back to using the black & white version of this strip for my posts.

In any event, much less drama than we were expecting out of the new kid who, from this angle, is looking an awful lot like the old new kid.  Guess we’ll have to wait a bit for his first meltdown. Maybe on the bus ride back to Milford?

August 29, 2016

That’s Your Memorial?

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Wow, six days from concept to completion! It’s a stunning achievement in folk art cabinetry. Is that what it is, some kind of display cabinet? The scale is kind of hard to accurately gauge, but the shelves might accommodate six inch high objects, like softballs or troll dolls. It might have the same inner dimensions as a hollowed out tree.

August 13, 2016

Not Somebody Else’s Best Work, Either

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“Some of your teammates” = True Standish, the only one of your teammates I can be bothered to talk to.

I’m sure alert TWIMers have noticed during this arc that True has been periodically breaking the fourth wall with side eye, most recently yesterday.  It’s almost as if he’s begging to be taken away from Milford so he can get on with his life.  Now it’s Gil’s turn to break the fourth wall with a veiled cry for help: “Not my best work.”  Prisoner to this five-month-long baseball/softball/death and DUI arc, with not even so much as single pool- or patioside adult beverage break with Mimi?  Is Gil’s statement a reference to his usual lack of coaching coaching job, or the seeming inability of his creator to move things forward in this strip?  Talk amongst yourselves.

From the Pantheon of Mysterious Objects Dept.: Have we seen Kaz’s “BOB” mug before? Or is that a “BOO” Radley memorial mug? Is he playing blackjack with Gil, or guzzling moo shu pork straight from the takeout box without pancakes?

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