This Week in Milford

June 5, 2019

Going Dutch at the Coffee Cantina?

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Here at TWIM we’ve pretty much concluded Milford is in Michigan. While it’s true Michigan has some Dutch influences, I totally did not expect the Coffee Cantina to turn into a full-blown Amsterdam coffeeshop overnight. Had to run with the color version to confirm that the brownie was indeed a brownie. You know it’s a great brownie when you haven’t even taken a bite out of it. Contact high much?

Everyone (including myself) who had written Linda off as a loser who was willing to turn down a volley scholly because she wasn’t yet Olympian material can just hold that thought, at least for today. Skipping practice doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve given up on your sport (remember Allen Iverson?).

The less said about Mimi’s heavy-handed Animal Farm assignment, the better. I’m also disappointed that Mimi didn’t run ’em till they puked before convening Book Club, but if it leads to Molly and Nancy giving Linda a TCFS button for skipping volleyball practice to eat a hash brownie at the Coffee Cantina, I can live with it.

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May 11, 2019

TCFS Goes To Eleven

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Well it doesn’t stand for Top Cat or Twin Cities, that much is certain. Then again, maybe Molly’s related to Mickey. But what the hell kind of thing is she placing in Jamila’s enormous, Ernie Lombardi-like hand as she stands on a classic Nelson bench?  Is it some kind of challenge coin? The equivalent of a merit decal? They put those on batting helmets now, dontchaknow. Or is it a merit decal in pog form?

You know how I know Rubin sees this blog? Yesterday’s Molly Hatchet joke would be a big clue, but he could’ve been planning that from the get-go. No, it’s his response to our steady complaints about the lack of strong female characters in this strip and of story arcs that focus on girls’ sports. What do we get in return? Several months of this drivel. This had potential: internal team strife between girls who have varied outside interests and girls who are monomaniacally focused on the game gets ironed out as the girls come together and start winning. By turning them into unintentional mean girls who form a clique by beating an already dead horse of a phrase even deader (five times in the past week, eleven total in the arc to date), Rubin is flirtin’ with making a mockery of the whole concept.

May 9, 2019

Rocki Works In Mysterious (And Quick!) Ways

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P1: Either we skipped a few days, or Graphic Goddess Rocki whipped up some original design in just a few minutes. Perhaps she used lots of copy and paste art.

P2: That word, you keep using it…

P3: Oooooh! Thursday cliffhanger! Could they have included the proper noun along with the pronoun? Sure looks like there’s space in for a larger dialogue balloon. Truly great pacing to use the last bit of dialogue to reestablish Molly’s name.

Bonus question: What is that thing that maybe could be the back of a CRT monitor in panel three?

Minus point: I am so committed to posting these things that I can confirm that the logo in panel three is likely not that of Skyborne Advertising, erstwhile enabler of B/Robby Howry’s mass media anti-Gil ad campaign.

January 26, 2019

Getting Ripped Every Day

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In typical Gil Thorp Saturday cliffhanger fashion, none of the Mudlark seniors come right out and give rando underclassman the straight dope on B/Robby.  Just some passive-aggressive reasons they didn’t like him.  Could it be that none of them actually know what went down?

I’m having a difficult time figuring out what’s on Andre’s locker shelf.  The rectangular object with the “12” on top I figure to be a shoebox with a genericized Nike logo, unless Andre’s gone super retro with a pair of Batas like Magic Johnson used to wear.  But what’s that next to the shoebox?  Pack of Luckies?  Some Gold Bond?

Also having a difficult time figuring out how B/Robby is sustaining himself such that he can go on Marty’s show every day.  I can’t imagine he’s on the WDIG payroll… yet… but as soon as station manager LBJ figures out Howry will cost him relative peanuts, Marty will be on the streets and dumpster diving behind Schultz’s Polynesian quicker than you can say “Clumsy Amy Lange.”

January 25, 2019

An Echo Chamber Does Not a Groundswell Make

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We’re being asked to fill in a lot of blanks here today.  Other than the one caller who called bullshit on their short-term memory loss yesterday, it’s just been Marty and B/Robby taking turns getting their digs in on Gil.  (You notice no one ever calls for Kaz’s head?  They know he’s liable to track them down and put his fist through theirs.)  Do those two take turns running out of the studio and calling in?  I suppose between calls Marty can get a bite to eat from the automat that has magically appeared behind his head.  Or do Wildcat Maris, Hobart, Barry Bader et al. just have WDIG on speed dial?

WDIG’s station manager seems vaguely aware that this whole kerfuffle is purely Marty’s and The Boy Who Would Be Coach’s doing, but as long as the ad revenue is coming in and he can keep shuffling those invoices, it’s all gravy.  Then again he may be waxing nostalgic about how he earned that trophy behind him for being the best Studebaker salesman in the Valley, or planning to order some Haggar slacks to go with that shawl-collared jacket of his while remembering how he used to hold meetings while he was on the can.

Meanwhile, in the Mudlark locker room, the real wheels get set in motion when rando underclassman asks rando seniors to dish the dirt on B/Robby.  Howry’s placebo-dealing, Bacon-manipulating backstory will be shared, rando underclassman will call Marty to expose B/Robby on air, WDIG’s engineer will again lose his mind, and Gil’s reputation will be saved without any action on his part.  This had better be good.

January 4, 2019

Levee Song

I’ve been slipping in the claaaaasssroom

All the live-long daaaaay…

I’ve been slipping in the claaaasssroom

Just to pass the time awaaaaay….

Cant you hear the whistle blowing

Rise up so early in the morn

Cant you hear the Kazman shouting…

Howry blow your hoooorn!

Howry wont you blow

Howry wont you blow?

Howry wont you blow your hooooorn?

Howry wont you blow

Howry wont you blow

Howry wont you blow your horn!

Fee fi fiddly I oh

Fee fi fiddly I ohhhhhh

Fee fi FIDDLY I OH???\

Strumming on Gils old banjo.

Someones at the Bucket with Kettlehead

Someones at the Bucket I knooow

Someones in the kitchen with Marjie

Strummin on her old Tape -Oh.

 

And in P3 Bobby Howry is inviting the man on the other end to fart over the phone.

 

December 28, 2018

The ceiling is falling

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Gil Thorp, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects — robmize2013 @ 7:51 pm

Nice D in P2– anyone teach Danbury how to put their hand up to contest a jumper? Nope– we’ll just stare at Mike Filion until he blinks. Gil has rare coaching advice in P3, and it wont matter whatsoever. Danbury could use that advice however in P2.

Time for a late Christmas song:

You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout I’m telling you why…

Derrick Rose is coming to towwwwn.

 

He’s making a J

And checking in twice

He’s gonna make MVP chants sound so nice.

Derrick Rose is coming to towwwwwwwwwn….

 

The fans in UC Chi-town

Will make a raucous plea

Theyre gonna tell John Paxson now

To re-bag this guy for free.

So—-

they better sell out

and trade some old guys

cause Rose can still play I’m telling you why

Too big too fast too strooooong………………

TOO GOOD!

 

 

 

 

November 28, 2018

Less Thinking, More Action!

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At Joe Bolek’s house –

“Okay guys, here comes the world

Premiere!” Almost haiku

 

Speaking of the world:

In Milford, five guys is not

A chain burger joint

 

Bolek’s screening room

Should rotate ninety degrees

Screen too close to seats

 

Shape shifting Bolek

Man of a thousand faces

Today looks like Biden

 

Give Joe some credit:

He knows YouTube watchers have

Short attention spans

 

But Tiki gets it

The footage needs to be raw

Like those punks’ knuckles

 

Clark kept shooting to

Erase pain of Milford life

Oh, wait, just video

 

Who else missing point?

Rubin. This is a sports strip

Not Scooby-Doo

 

It’s meddling you want?

Try to replace Karen Moy

Write for Mary Worth

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