This Week in Milford

October 23, 2019

A Shot of MYOB With a Cup of STFU Chaser

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Something tells me Chet Ballard strikes out with his wife on a regular basis. Probably why we haven’t seen any siblings for Charlie. Maybe he’ll get lucky at school.

I’m not sure if this unnamed school board lady is the same one Ballard went to when he wanted to make a test case out of Tiki Jansen (in which case her name is Carol), but for the sake of today’s post let’s assume she is. Carol’s seen enough of Chet’s crap to know this needs to be nipped in the bud. This being mid-October, however, it’s too early for Chet to let this go.

So who does Ballard turn to next? Marty Moon? He has been known to let Milfordians (Milfordites?) go on the air and put their feet in their mouths. Seeing as it’s his town, Marty might decide there’s only room for one bearded blowhard. That leaves Marjie Ducey, Gil himself, or a billboard outside Milford.

August 31, 2019

The Milford Playbook: Student Body Left

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Just when we think we’re getting a deeper dive into the blended Ballard/Roh family dynamic, quick cut to Marjie in Gil’s office getting the roster rundown she should’ve been getting last week when everyone was stuffing their face with sloppy joes. What’s up with Marjie’s manicure? Did she tell the nail technician to paint everything but her lunulae? And how many left elbows does she have such that she can line that notepad up directly under her right hand?

That Finn kid getting sick gave Gil enough time to think up witty repostes to divert attention from the fact his team’s gonna suck and he can’t coach them to play any better. Maybe the Mudlarks need a motivational speaker to come talk to them. One like “Teen Expert and Motivational Speaker” Gabe Salazar. After namedropping Salazar, Gil spouts doublespeak and practically dares Marjie to write anything negative. At least he doesn’t outright insult Marjie the way he did Marty; maybe those sloppy joes were insult enough.

Added new tag “Peering Over Eyeglasses” since that’s what everybody in the Thorpiverse who wears them does with them. It may take a while before we can retroactively tag every instance.

August 10, 2019

“She told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then she said the facts had no meaning.”

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“Ladies and gentlemen, members of the school board, my dad, we’ve just heard from Mr. Ballard a rather lurid description of a truly despicable young man.”

“I had to hand it to her. She tossed a lot of sand in their eyes. She talked about how I’d lost my place in the universe. How I was too ordinary to be the perpetrator of fraud the school board made me out to be, how there was some greater scheme at work that the school district had yet to unravel… She told them to look at me, look at me close. That the closer they looked, the less sense it would all make.”

“Look closely at him. This human, this barber. Oops – wrong Tiki.”

“That I wasn’t the kind of guy to game the system, that I was the safety, for Christ’s sake. I was just like them, an ordinary man. Guilty of living in a school district that had no place for me, yeah. Guilty of wanting to be a Mudlark, sure. But not of fraud.”

“But most specifically, this is a safety’s dilemma. For he is modern man.”

“She said I was modern man.”

“He is your reflection.”

“And if they voted to keep me out of Milford, they’d be practically cinching the noose around their own necks. She told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. And then she said the facts had no meaning.”

Here’s hoping Hadley V. does a better job representing Tiki than Freddy did representing Ed.

July 24, 2019

Are We Going There?

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Here I was thinking that the summer subplot was going to be “The Case of Hadley V. Baxendale’s Disappearing and Reappearing Mole*,” but I was wrong. It’s shaping up to be more along of the lines of “Lou Grant Ed V. Baxendale is a Racist But It Could Just Be the Wine Talking.” (There has been a lot of wine drinking in this arc, hasn’t there?). Race has been a relatively benign factor in the strip since I’ve been blogging here, unless you count Marty Moon’s attitude toward the Padillas winter before last.

Jaquan has been consistently portrayed as a fairly savvy guy, not lacking for brains as well as for talent. The less said about his flirtation with football, the better. He also had a fair grip on his future plans as far back as high school, for some of which he apparently has Hadley to thank until death do they part. If he’s been as good a pro hoopster as he’s been made out to be, then his financial worries should be relatively few for years to come. So what’s not to like?

It remains to be seen whether Rubin tackles this head-on or comes at it obliquely, the way he does so many other hot topics. For now, let’s just see how many dog whistles Ed blows over the rest of the summer.

*We do need the “peering over glasses” tag; I’ll try to add that if one of my fellow TWIMers doesn’t beat me to it.

METAPOST: How about it TWIM community? Please submit your suggestions for an eyeglasses tag in the comments below! Eyeglass Antics? Peering Over Peepers? -TimP

July 15, 2019

Careful With That Pizza, You Could Put Somebody’s Eye Out

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Brief observations:

The pizza at Ricozzi’s is nice and stiff. It has dry, yellow cheese. Yes, color is at the mercy of some hacks at the syndicate, so that’s not all on Whigham. (The colorist used Zippy the Pinhead‘s mumu for reference when doing the pizza.)

The colorist is also not sure what to do with Hadley’s hair.

Yes, Hadley wants to do some lawyering while she’s hanging in Milford.

Panel 3 appears to be a scrimmage. Maybe a seven on seven. I don’t think we’ve seen schools competing in scrimmages.

March 11, 2019

Let’s Hear It For The Girls

Filed under: Marjie Ducey, Mimi Thorp, Peering Over Eyeglasses, softball — nedryerson @ 6:52 am

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Spring is in the air! It’s time to kick off our new plot. (What’s that? The last plot was an unsatisfying mess that barely limped over the finish line while puking its guts out all over the spectators? Welcome to Milford!)

For the purposes of today’s strip (colorized version) Mimi Thorp will be sporting chestnut hair. It looks nice on her, coordinates nicely with her similarly colored  bat and batting gloves and the all red uni. I’m going to assume that the colorist made this choice to keep from flooding the strip with blonde due to Marjie’s appearance.

Since we’re starting out with softball practice, can we expect to spend some time with Milford Girls Sports and some female student athletes? Nothing is guaranteed (except disappointment, mostly).

If we are going to focus on a female Mudlark this season, it will be our infielder who makes diving stops on sharp grounders in the hole. (If you are taking grounders, do you wear a batting glove? I never thought about it, but I guess it makes sense from an injury prevention standpoint.) Do we know her? Probably not. But Marjie Ducey appreciates her skill so we will be hearing a lot about her (until focus is pulled away by some nimrod on the baseball team).

February 25, 2019

Hello, Ladies

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Hey, check out Mimi’s gal pal who’s throwing shade at Marty as his beer foam drips all over her. It’s a middle aged version of Velma from Scooby Doo!

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I hope she doesn’t lose her glasses, forcing her to crawl around in the puddles of beer and ketchup on the floor of Barney’s!

So Marty needs a minute of Mimi’s time. Whatever for? Does he want to convene an impromptu focus group consisting of Mimi’s circle of friends? He could be fishing around for a new audience niche in the Milford’s media landscape. He must sense that he could be once again in danger of being replaced by younger talent in local sports talk on AM radio. Does Marty have anything to offer middle age women who like wine and chunky earrings (as a media property or just in general)?

 

 

*If you do a google image search for Velma, you get about 10% cartoon images from various Scooby Doo iterations, 20% images of that actress from Freaks & Geeks playing the cute live action Velma from the Scooby Doo movie and the other 70% is women doing totally sexed up Velma cosplay.

December 2, 2017

We’re that Much Closer to Giving Up This Silly Plot

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Know what else needs to be given up? Whigham’s obsession with goatees, sidelong glances, elf hair on women and whipping down the glasses Horatio Caine style. It’s already a comic strip; it doesn’t need to be any more cartoonish. Maybe a cameo from Tank McNamara‘s Dr. Tszap would help.

Going with the color version of the strip today so we can all see that Uncle Gary is so full of shit his eyes are brown. Neither he nor Connie Soto are doctors; how would they know better than Rick Scott that Rick Soto needs medical attention? Of course, UG could be one of those ambulance chasing kind of lawyers who knows just enough about personal injury to have made it big on contingencies to sit around at his sister’s house all fall and play Svengali.

There are four NCAA FBS conference championship games being played this afternoon and evening. What says Milford will lose that many games in that many days over the next two weeks?

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