This Week in Milford

August 31, 2018

These Are All Terrible People, Even The Kids


P1: A story from TimP’s own life: Person A did me wrong some time ago. Person B, an erstwhile associate of Person A, learned of this and, while he couldn’t undo the wrong, mitigated some of it. Some weeks later Person B called me up out of the blue and told me all of the terrible things that had lately happened to Person A, thinking I would enjoy hearing about it. I did not. It was all rather sad when taking all of the circumstances into consideration.

P2: Fear of failure can be a hell of a motivator. The problem is that it motivates all kinds of bad behavior. Gil is almost being a good coach by asking an open ended question to such a shitty thing to say.

P3: Feeling like you have to perform especially well because you have to ‘prove’ yourself after getting jobbed can be a hell of a motivator. The problem is…

Cripes, what is in the water in Milford? [Checks notes.] Milford is most likely in the Midwest, probably Central Michigan or Northwest Ohio, so lead. Lead is in the water in Milford. This is why Gil drinks naught but distilled rotgut. He may be stupid, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to get much stupider.

Edited to add: I can’t believe I went back and looked this up but the Milford in Ohio is near Cincinnati, a town I once almost lived in but then got lucky and didn’t. Also, there is a real life Milford Country Club. It is in the vicinity of Boston and has a nine hole par 3 course. Although I’ve visited Boston many times, I’ve never had the opportunity to live there. The last time I visited, it was zero degrees Fahrenheit with 45 mile per hour winds seemingly coming from every direction.

August 21, 2018

Don’t complain to me now.

Hey gang – I’m on vacation all this week and I know nobody likes writing about golf except me so why not y’all take a much needed vacation from this strip and let me handle this golf story? Any objections please let me know but I think its a fine idea.

75, 79, 78. That’s it? Writing scores on a board is the official way to post in a tourney qualifier? No questions asked huh? I never played in a tourney like this so who am I to criticize but man, this is just so.. fishy.

Its not out of the question to go from 80’s to high 70’s in a week. If the course fits your game and your making putts, that’s all it takes. The rest of the game is tee to green. Once you have that down, it all comes down to strokes around the green. This apparently was a 1-round qualifier, and anything can happen. You can go low anytime for 1 round. I know I can, so they can too.

But we all know what really happened, and why they’re complaining to Gil about it is beyond me. He isn’t involved in this in any way except as a ‘coach’ to his guys at Milford. They need to discuss this with the rules officials or tourney officials.

It looks like the case is closed the way the time between P2 and P3 is framed, but methinks Gil will do the boys a favor and complain to the officials, although how he’s gonna convince them of anything is hard to figure, since there again wasnt any rules official with each group to supervise the scores.

Another thing– how do the boys know what the other boys shot last week anyway? Musta had some casual conversation, but why show your hand if your planning to cheat? Tell the Milford boys you shot in the high 70’s . Or, even dumber, why the hell did the scores get accurately counted last week when it didn’t matter at all? And now when it counts, no tight control over anything. Just take a magic marker and write whatever the kids tell you they shot.  Typical dumb Thorp comic strip logic.

So I’m off to play golf now, played 15 holes yesterday until a downpour stopped me.

Shot 72.

For 15 holes.

Thanks again for letting me run the show this week. You guys relax and have a cold one on me.

Edited to add a picture from a recent hike I took while on my own vacation! – TimP

Holly trails somewhere inbetween


Create a free website or blog at