This Week in Milford

August 10, 2017

Just Who Is Heather Helping?

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Here’s an example of why I don’t like the color version of the strip. For comparison:

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There’s no universe – not even in Eugene, Oregon – where all the components of a football helmet are monochromatic.  But I nitpick.

The bigger question is the one I alluded to in the post title. Who is Heather really helping here? Who else is coaching Milford’s 7-on-7 team? Sure as hell ain’t Gil or Kaz, and there’s no sign of Tim and Jay Forbes. The only thing she appears to have learned about coaching is how to be pushy, to the point that one of her seven resorts to the tired classic Milfordian catchphrase “Ease up.”

It doesn’t look like pet project Pelwecki has benefited from all of her coaching, either. After last week he must think you need to be at least 6’8″ to catch a pass.  All I can imagine is that everybody involved with Milford football is looking forward to her shipping off to Iowa or wherever.

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June 29, 2017

Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dafne

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It’s been over a month and a half since the Milford softball girls have seen any action, so at least one of them is hoping to see some off the field.  Turns out Carrie had better save that sliding for the softball diamond, if she ever gets back there. Pissy faced Gary is just not into her.

Meanwhile in the kitchen the unwanted advances are fixin’ to swap genders. Dafne raises a dainty pinky and flashes some midriff as she reaches for the pause that refreshes, whilst Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso tries to figure out when and where to put his shot. Unlike poor misguided Carrie, Dafne has the journalistic talent to turn the episode into something print-worthy.  Her grand return to the Trumpet will read along the lines of “I got hit on last week. You know who else got hit on, too? Ryan Van Auken’s ex-girlfriend!” Naw, it’ll be more like “I almost gave someone at Milford High unwanted attention, and now that I’ve gotten unwanted attention too, I can empathize and will now shut my trap.”

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