This Week in Milford

March 3, 2018

Mo’ Better Lady Mudlarks


And what happened, then? Well, in Milford they say – that Karina’s small nose grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Milford came through, and Karina found strength of *ten* Marties, plus two!

Come on, Chief, stay on model! Saturday’s cliffhanger leaves us wondering how the Lady Mudlarks will protest Marty Moon at the Milford boys’ game and how of-of-sync with today’s realities that protest will be. Rather than speculate on that, I’ll focus on the little details that keep us coming back for more:

P1: Paloma’s super freaky giant left hand (no wonder that phone looked so tiny when she held it) is par for the course, but I must say I appreciate how Whigham has drawn the girls’ hair. Such shine and volume! Breck Girl Darwin would be proud.

P2: Karina comes not only with a giant schnozz but also with pre-skinned knuckles.

P3: We never saw the end of the Milford @ Jefferson game but we know now that the Mudlarks lost. No burritos for Jorge, then?  That might explain the fridge raid and the fridge-side pizza menu.

PP2-3: Karina’s and Paloma’s upper lips remind me of the top half of the old Hartford Whalers logo. Gives me a great excuse to fire up some “Brass Bonanza.”

†Happy belated birthday T. S. Geisel!


March 1, 2018

¿Por qué Marty?


Ya know, Rubin could be selling this “Marty drops Mexican references into his broadcast to woo That New Mexican Restaurant as a sponsor” thing a little better if he wove the name drops into Marty’s play-by-play a little better. For example, Wednesday’s strip would’ve been more convincing if he had Marty say “Padilla earned his burritos with that one. He’ll love the burritos at Los Morenos – and you will too!” It’d work a little better still if his Mexican references were about things that people actually ate.

Between the bracelets, earrings, pissy faces, enormous freak hand, and use of the term “ease up,” P2 nearly achieves Peak Milford solely through its visuals.  What puts it over the top is the assumption that Paloma is using her tiny pack of Virginia Slims phone to dial up WDIG at night to complain about Marty rather than to light up social media (which, again, only Golden Child True Standish and his QB posse had any inkling of how to use). If this resembled reality in any way, shape or form, by the end of the game Marty would be subject to a tweetstorm of hurricane-like proportions. This arc would resemble reality a bit more closely if the Padilla sibs hadn’t assimilated so smoothly, too. Milford isn’t Amish country; it only seems that way sometimes.



February 10, 2018

I tried to sing along, But damn that radio guy


Alright alright alright! Let’s settle in and get ready for the write-in/call-in/March on WDIG to get Marty Moon canned! I’m a little surprised Knit Cap Girl hasn’t traded in her black knit cap for a pink one with ears. Maybe it’s actually a ski mask and she’s gonna roll it down over her face, tuck her hair up in it, march over to the station and take Marty hostage. Maybe she can cover that foam pointy finger (no way that’s a real finger, it has no joints) with it and pretend it’s a gun. Maybe her face will be rendered in three dimensions by the time we’re done with this scene.

Now, where’s that Dafne Dafoe when you need her?

Post title inspiration from these guys, whose name we were tossing around day before yesterday. (BTW, shout out to TWIMer Jive Turkey for hipping me to Local H.)

January 31, 2018

La Junta Is Hanging A Few Banners Themselves


As we from time to time should mention, it seems like it would be a real bad idea to mess with the real life Pete DeWindt. Dude seems like a really cool guy. Honestly, if I were to happen to turn up in Camarillo (FZ reference time? Nah.), I might make an effort to drop by just to say hi.

Meanwhile, I’m thankful for the narration box across panels two and three because, like Gil, I couldn’t bother to remember Mike’s first name either.

Bonus points: Is Marty wearing French cuffs under his Jim Tresselian garb? Is Gil really wearing a solid black tie over a white shirt with no jacket? That’s kinda bad assed in a New Wavey sortof way.

Minus points: Although it is Actual Action, I am not seeing how panel three is in any way related to anything described in that aforementioned narration box.

Metapost: Today’s late post brought to you, in part, by an overachieving FunRun participant.


January 24, 2018

The Girly-Girl Basketball The Guys Play Around Here.


Reading back from panels two and three, it’s really difficult to imagine the foul being committed mid-shot by Paloma in panel one, but I suppose she might have pushed off in panel zero.

Speaking of panel two, kudos to the chief on all of the details he’s included. And take those kudos back when the ref gains fifty pounds between panels two and three.

Bonus Points: Three straight panels of actual action including Paloma Padilla giving the zebra guff. I like it!

December 14, 2017

Takes One to Know One… or Two


Y’know, it’s been hard to make light of this fall’s subject matter, especially since Rubin’s done the legwork to pull in “Dr.” Joanne Gerstner and give cred where cred’s due. (I’d pat myself on the back for calling out the caveats in the BU study that Dr. Gerstner called out yesterday but that feels like piling on.) By now the TWIM faithful has no doubt seen what happened to the Texans’ Tom Savage and the aftermath last weekend (and no, I’m not gonna link to it) or read about ex-Chief Larry Johnson’s trials and tribulations with what he suspects might be CTE. No, none of this is a laughing matter, and again credit to Rubin for at least trying to approach the subject from a reasonable POV. High school kid has a potential talent outside of a sport that could be negatively impacted by certain injuries that could be sustained in that sport? Concerned parents seek to dissuade their child from participation in that sport for that reason? Sure, it all checks out.

We’re left with snarking on the usual shortcomings of this strip: the need to contrive a villainous adult with bad intentions as a plot device; the continual parade of weak, underdeveloped female characters who consistently fail the Bechdel Test; and the haphazard pacing that seldom reflects the actual pace of the season of the sport being played. All of those come to a head today as Rick finally calls bullshit on Uncle Gary’s little charade. Uncle Snidely Whiplash falls back on the “I’mma tell yo’ mama!” defense and it’s up to the reader to connect the dots between a Central City parking lot and Gil’s cushy office. Gil exposes Uncle Gary tomorrow, gets to spout some pithy platitudes on Saturday, and next week will be a mad rush of strips telling but not showing us how Milford misses the playdowns.

If you told me that Uncle Gary and Mama Soto were in some kind of incestuous, mind-controlling relationship and that Mama gets propped up in front of the monitor like one of Saddam Hussein’s human shields on Skype calls to Daddy Soto, I wouldn’t blink. It’d at least offer some explanation for the adult interpersonal relationships in the Soto household.

metapost: In the roar of so many other things going on this week I completely missed the obituary for “Mr. Falcon,” Tommy Nobis. The face of that franchise in its early years – and a force for good in and around Atlanta after his playing career – Nobis was another player haunted by injury to his body and mind.

November 29, 2017

Worst Maternal Instinct Ever


Alternate title to today’s post: Milford! Drive Away From Here And Never Come Back!

We give Rubin a lot of well deserved grief for poor plot construction and characterization, but I think Connie (is that her name? Can’t be bothered to look it up…) Soto takes the cake. It’s amazing, we know more about Rick’s dad’s story and he’s been in Dubai this whole time!

Bonus Question: Is Uncle Gary wearing the jacket I think he’s wearing?

November 7, 2017

Oh Goody. More Waiting.


Amazing. So, Gil’s brilliant strategy of implementing a new offense mid-season was based on, among other very dubious assumptions, the notion that it keys entirely off of one and only one player. That’s some coaching.

Panel 1: I had a job with a guy from the midwest who used ‘gents’ frequently. A recent development was that I had to work with/for him a lot more. I don’t work at that job anymore.

Panel 2: Should I recognize this guy? I sure should. He’s the dynamo who is driving the plot, Andre! Here he is as part of the crowd and here is where we confirm his name. We also see him here being kind of a jerk about supporting Little Ricky’s fledgling singing career. Way to go, Andre! That can-do spirit is exactly what the team will need while they are getting pounded into the turf at Tilden.

Panel 3: Speaking of jerks… Jeeze guys. Maybe save that talk for after practice. Are coaches Shaw and Boone the shadowy figures lurking in panel two? Guys! Gil and Andre can totally hear you.

Bonus Question: What is the purpose of that card Steve is holding? I checked the color version of the strip which shows that it’s a white, blank card.

Bonus Bonus Question: Speaking of, by what means is Steve’s towel suspended?

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