This Week in Milford

January 30, 2023

I Thought Gil’s Tongue Was Frozen To The Flagpole Again

Filed under: Cami Ochoa, Dr. Pearl, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:27 am

Check it out. Gil, Dr. Pearl and Coach Cami all have flag duty. Maybe Gil and Cami have flag duty and Dr. Pearl supervises all flag duty? At any rate, all are assembled by the flagpole to discuss the dire fiscal situation which has been hanging over the basketball season.

Coach Cami has a plan to raise money by having sponsors pledge money to have student athletes lift stuff. Like any stuff? Like here’s ten dollars, can you lift this economy sized bag of kitty litter into the back of my Pacer? I suppose what Cami has in mind is something more organized, but the odds are we’ll never really get the fleshed-out scheme fully explained, but we will see lifting. Maybe they’ll raise enough money to pay the legal fees when this vaping thing blows up in their faces. Ever mindful Dr. Pearl wants waivers signed. She’s got enough process servers hanging around outside her office as it is.

Isn’t panel three a thing of beauty? Canada geese flying over Old Glory while Dr. Pearl angles for minimal legal liability for the latest hairbrained scheme to endanger the students.

January 21, 2023

They seem confident, but Toby’s looking a little jaundiced tbh

Second day in a row and third of six this past week on Rod and Tobe selling vapes. That’s practically a complete story arc in the nu-look Thorpiverse. Still some dots to connect, as usual. Where are they getting the vapes? Where is the chocolate going? Is it straight up barter or are there additional steps in between? Are tattoos and legit DVDs doctored to look fake somehow involved?

Coach Ochoa* is playing bag lady for these two and she’s probably better off not knowing where the money came from. Plausible deniability could go a long way for her and Gil when this racket gets busted and Dr. Pearl comes headhunting.

Chief Lind’s officers will have no problem picking these two miscreants out in that blaze orange shitbox that must’ve come off Foxy’s lot. No problem hauling them in either, as long as they stay away from the trunk. What’s in there with the candy bars that has the power to change the color of clothing and skin? J. Frank Parnell’s aliens? Marsellus Wallace’s briefcase? Bitcoin?

*Who is Coach Ochoa coaching, exactly? The only strips we’ve seen in this season had her holding Gil’s balls in a sack or running the Milford boys through a dribbling two balls at once drill. Is there no Milford girls’ team this season? Some confirmation would be nice (hint, hint).

January 2, 2023

New Year, More Balls

Filed under: basketball, Coach Ochoa, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 7:41 pm

Can someone remind me if we’ve learned who this assistant coach is who is doing the actual coaching. Can MHS afford her, what with the budget cuts and all? Also, are there enough basketballs for everyone to be handling two at a time?

Let’s ring in the new year as we find out that Toby and other guy are going out for basketball as a way to get back at Valley Tech. That’s a big commitment even before you factor in all the car washes and bake sales they’ll need to do just to keep the coaching staff in jorts.

December 26, 2022

Part Two (No Gil, Don’t Read That Part!)

Filed under: Dr. Pearl, Gil Thorp, Pissy faced Gil, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 12:59 pm

Something is out of Dr. Pearl’s hands. It’s some aspect of the budget. Gil understands. Dr. Pearl manages to avoid spilling coffee on herself despite her awkward coffee cup handling. Whatever is happening to the budget, Dr. Pearl seems sure she can make up the shortfall through fundraising.

Gil doesn’t look like he wants any part of fundraising, even though it would seem that Gil will be somehow affected by the budgetary shortfall. Why else would Dr. Pearl bring him the news in person? Who knows. Gil is thinking about basketball season and doesn’t care. It’s all cryptic.

Finally, Gil picks up his cue card. Part Two “The Only Game in Town.” Ah, so that’s why it’s cryptic. Expect to see all sorts of info dumped on us this week as “The Only Game In Town” is slowly introduced through a series of thinly connected plot elements.

Happy Holidays!

November 14, 2022

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

We’re back in Orville Redenbacher’s classroom where Keri is falling asleep. She’s losing sleep due to PTSD from the flat-out stupid mass (sic) shooter drill/community theater production she witnessed right here in Mr. Redenbacher’s class. Maybe we will eventually explore what a shitshow that “drill” was and see some of the MHS administration face consequences for staging a theme park stunt show in a high school class. Yeah, the whole thing still bugs me.

Moving on, maybe another way to read this is that Keri is getting sleepy because listening to Mr. Reddenbacher is utterly boring compared to watching him go Herk the Mauler on an armed intruder. Seriously, how are you supposed to follow that. The least Mr. R can do is maybe tear a phonebook in half or demonstrate how to correctly swing a folding chair.

Kids do fall asleep in class. It can be embarrassing. I don’t know that Mr. R did anything especially provocative in waking Keri up that caused all the laughter. (Is it laughter, or did he just write HA all over the blackboard?) Either way, Keri’s now got a new traumatic event to deal with. Maybe she should just transfer to a different class. I think her dad has some pull. Or better yet, she can just transfer to Valley Tech and we can really get our West Side Story reboot in gear.

metapost: tdrew, I’ll cover for you on Thursday.

October 29, 2022

Gil Says What Everyone’s Thinking

A week’s worth of active shooter drill comes to an end and with it, more questions than answers. For example:

How long is Gil’s neck? Where does it attach to his body?

Was Gil’s line in P2 written by Barajas or did Whigham ad lib it?

Will Marty refer to the people in P2 as “crisis actors” on his podcast? Will he lose sponsors as a result?

Will Gil press the teacher who waylaid the active shooter into duty as his defensive coordinator?

Will Gil let Keri go home or will he make them stay in class lest he be accused of playing favorites? If he makes them stay, will they go to Mimi for a pass?

Which of the many plot lines, if any, will move to the forefront as factors in the Mudlark football season?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Oh, yeah, almost forgot: It wasn’t Gil Thorp but I passed through Jim Thorpe, PA, this morning. Here’s a pic from the car window.

October 24, 2022

Ducking And Covering With Gil

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Pissy faced Gil, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:14 am

We join Gil Thorp in Madame Yonkers’ French class in the middle of a “Mass Shooter Drill”. (If you had told me a year ago I would be writing that sentence to start off a TWIM post, I would have said, “You’re crazy…and how did you know I write TWIM posts, did you hack into my laptop??”) But here we are crouching in Madame Yonkers’ class, where Gil was just about to wing in and tell the kids about Bon Jovi…oh wait, he wrote Bon Jour on the board in a jaunty font because it’s French class. I think the kids would be better off with a lesson on Bon Jovi, but instead they have the benefit of Gil’s wisdom about “The Cold War“.

I could put myself in Gil’s place easily here, even if I’m not nearly as ancient. That kid could be asking me the same question. Did you have to do stuff like this when you were kids? My answer would be a bit more nuanced. I don’t recall ever doing any kind of hide under the desk exercise, as I think by the mid to late 70s, we probably all realize how pointless that was as we learned more about the realities of nuclear weapons. We didn’t take it lightly. On the contrary, we were scared to death of the destructive power and were told constantly that the threat was real and imminent, but the stance on being prepared for it had evolved from “duck and cover” to “kiss your ass goodbye”. In terms of drills, I think we did tornado drills sometimes, because you can’t grow up in this country without multiple existential threats. I’m sure everyone’s experiences varied based on your school(s) and the era you attended.

I suppose I’m somewhat in agreement with Gil’s final analysis here. Having “Mass Shooter Drills” be part of your life seems more terrifying, but I’m not sure if I feel that way because of the collective trauma we’ve all seen with school shootings (and the media coverage of them) in recent years. IS it worse, Gil? Can your perspective as a kid crouching under a desk in your Converse high tops in the 50s help contextualize our culture of fear for “kids today”? We could pontificate about this here, because there’s probably no room for this to happen in the bursting at the seams plotlines of Gil Thorp.

As a person who really has no idea what is happening on a modern high school campus, I’m not sure what to make of this “Mass Shooter Drill”. (I keep using quotes because I think “Mass Shooter” sounds wrong. I know personally about “Active Shooter” drills and awareness. I think the wording of “Mass Shooting” right in the name of the exercise is dark as hell. I may just be blowing smoke as I will repeat again, I have no idea what happens in schools.*) Also, I’m not sure if a guy in body armor with a military style weapon necessarily has to be part of such a drill. Maybe that’s just me. I’d be curious to hear what younger people have experienced along these lines, but I think it’s more likely that TWIM readers are mostly my age and older, so maybe the perspectives are more likely to be that of parents, but that’s still more than I can bring to the table.

*I wanted to acknowledge that we had a few comments in a recent post about substitute teaching and I wanted to out myself as a one-time substitute teacher. It was back in the early 90s and I only did it for one school year. I can definitely share some stories, but I didn’t gain any perspective then about the current situation. I think most of the fear I experienced was my own sheer terror of being in charge of 20-30 kids who were all out to get me. The one thing I did learn though was a thorough respect for school teachers and the complexity of the job. I already knew this having grown up with one parent who spent over forty years as a teacher but being there really brought it all home. I salute our educators and you will never hear me begrudge them that “summer off” as if it’s nearly enough compensation. Sorry to get soapbox-y. Take it away commenters!

October 17, 2022

The Snacks Are On Pedro

Filed under: Jami Thorp, Prairie Style Windows, Volleyball — nedryerson @ 3:37 am

We’re at a volleyball game. Jami Thorp is there with his friend, the Lightning Bolt Kid. They are both enjoying their phones when someone who is already sitting next to them asks if he can sit with them. Of course, Jami knows this guy, it’s Toby, the new football wunderkind who has a backstory with the Thorps.

Jami, almost uses Toby’s old name, Oh, no! But, it’s cool. Phew. Close one.

What’s this? There’s another member of Jami and the LBK’s party. He’s tall, dark and bearing snacks. It’s Pedro!* He’s making Thorp connections all of the place. The Lightning Bolt Kid might just slink away now that this group has so much more star power.

*I didn’t realize it was Pedro and might have played the “who’s this guy” angle had I not glanced down at the top comment on the GoComics site from Henry Barajas identify snacks guy as Pedro.

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