This Week in Milford

December 13, 2017

As Vaganova Can Attest, There Is Basically No Risk Of Concussion From Skiing.

Filed under: Central City Cretins, lessons learned, premature baldness — timbuys @ 9:50 am

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Panel 1: “Signs of trouble” is going to become my new euphemism for impending disaster.

[boss with grating accent]: ‘Hey TimP, how’s going der Mega Proposal due Friday to GiantCo?’

TimP: ‘Gee boss, the lead architect is out sick with stage 4 cancer of the everything, his wife just died and his daughter’s wedding in Tahiti is Saturday so he’s got that going on too. Meanwhile, our offshore support team is celebrating a week long major national holiday and are legally forbidden from working*, and our key relationship manager at the account just left us to join our competitor. Also, too, one of their subsidiaries just announced they’re suing us for breach of contract at Tiny Project where the long gone sales guy over promised and we under delivered.  So, you could say there are some Signs of Trouble.’

* The government will occasionally send state security officers to the offices to check that they are closed. No joke!

Panel 2: “What we mostly know about [tobacco and cancer, leaded gasoline, asbestos, etc.] for now is that we need to know more.” (emphasis added)

Panel 3: So, I am a big believer in not letting my fears determine my decisions. Too often in my life, and as I’ve observed in many other’s lives, some element of fear constrained me from reaching further than I could have. Conversely, even when I’ve taken risks and failed, I’ve always made my greatest strides when I’ve managed my fears and charged ahead.

Inspiring or insipid as that might sound, after living in my home for eleven years without it, I bought flood insurance three months before Hurricane Harvey hit and didn’t flood. The point being, I guess I could’ve saved $450 (although I’m happy that money will help to pay out claims to other insureds), but I was a lot more comfortable the night of landfall and the days that followed.

Had I been fearful of flooding? Sure.

Did I mitigate the risks underlying that fear? Yes.

Did I make the right decision?

 

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December 6, 2017

Game, Set and Match? Match Point? I Dunno; Help Me Out Here…

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A Match Made In Tanktown?

I’ll give Uncle Gary credit that it is an odd turn of phrase. And, really, would you trust a doctor with a cookie duster like that?

Bonus point: I am digging that lamp.

Minus point: As Rowdyman noted, Whigham could’ve saved himself a lot of grief just omitting the stethoscope…

December 5, 2017

With Or Without You (Rick Soto)

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So, is Rick Soto good enough that there should (not to give Rubin even more to juggle) be an element of him being recruited? All of a sudden, it seems that everything hinges on him so you would think that he must have some D1 interest…

Meanwhile, Connie Soto (nee Gary) and her brother, Uncle, are becoming one of the most annoying brother and sister combos since Wynn and Wendy Wiley.*

Metapost: Inspiration for today’s post title was released over thirty years ago! Please excuse me while I go take my hypertension medication and look into transitional bifocals…

* For those that don’t recall, Wendy wasn’t too bad in that she behaved relatively inoffensively even though, as is typically the case with this strip, she mostly had things happen to her. Meanwhile, Wynn was a paternalistic nut-job with serious anger issues… (Also, too, he was the protagonist.)

November 15, 2017

Sing Some Spanish

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Uncle Gary came so close to touching his face and springing me from having to write today’s post…

Panel 1: Great, so we’re adding in some racial condescension to Uncle Gary’s shtick. That’s just what we needed.

Panel 2: I’ll say it again, Ricky is being awfully tolerant of his uncle’s delusional maneuvering. As has been suggested by others, it seems we’re well past the point where he would’ve told UG to stuff it.

Panel 3: Worst episode of Entourage ever. (I dunno; I never saw the movie.)

Please note that posts from me next week will be delayed as, instead of rehashing this dreck, I will hopefully be taking in views from the Tortolita mountains.

November 8, 2017

The Impossible Turd And Other Unanswered Questions

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Panel 1: Is Little Ricky wearing pads? Cargo pants? Why are his feet splayed like that and where are his crutches? What the hell is going on here?

Panel 2:  Isn’t Rick supposed to be a big guy? Tall, at least? Is he sitting down here? How much does anyone want to bet that balancing an open umbrella on the top of his bald spot goes viral ten times faster than a video of some random tank town high schooler singing the national anthem?

Panel 3: How many editors does it take to cut this thing together? Who the hell is paying for any of this and why? Is Uncle Gary going to drink that entire bottle of ketchup?

October 11, 2017

For Those Of You Curious About The Milford Fight Song…

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I’m afraid I have bad news.

Panel 1: Gary’s pop star aspirations for Ricky might take a hit if that is Milford Pattern Balding syndrome that we’re seeing here. Also, too, spoon? WTH?

Panel 2: Idiots or Weirdos? Idiots it is.

Panel 3: I wouldn’t even know who Ed Sheeran is if not for online discussion of his recent appearance in a certain popular fantasy TV show. That aside, I have absolutely no clue who these two young Lady Mudlarks are, but their appearance today does lend support to my theory that Alison Bechdel really ticked Rubin off at some point.

September 22, 2017

The only tight end I care about is Marjies

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Marjie Ducey, premature baldness — robmize2013 @ 6:03 pm

Well look who’s back – – its Marjie Ducey, who we havent seen since probably last football season. I dont think they played enough baseball to warrant her presence, and I dont feel like combing through the archives to find her talking hoops either. (Need our trusty Thorpian researcher to do that job. Thanks)

How the hell does any football team have so many former tight ends at wide receiver, and no former linebackers? ( Calling Kevin Pelwicki) If thats the case, who’s playing tight end now? Oh yeah, maybe Kevin. And it really makes sense to have your fastest player at QB instead of WR or RB. Can tell by the way Marjie looks at Gil that she thinks he’s full of crap too.

I dont give a crap about Panel 1 by the way;  whenever that storyline wants to blow itself up is fine with me. The Glee Club and football havent been connected since the Brady Bunch with Peter Brady.

One more thing– how does Marjie know whos playing quarterback before Gil tells her? She’s done this before; instead of Gil telling her she tells him about someone. Kind of reverse psychology.

Love her earrings by the way. Marjie we’ve missed you…

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