This Week in Milford

August 2, 2018

Remember When Concussions Were A Big Deal In Milford?

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Here’s the exposition strip we’ve all come to know and love.  To say Gil isn’t up for this is an understatement, as evidenced by his half-hearted attempt to slit his own throat.

Alright, let’s get down to it.  Nobody’s heard of these two jabronis before because they were soccer players.  As we know in the Thorpiverse, playing soccer gets you nowhere and gives you ideas that you can do other things.  Then again, maybe that’s the concussions talking.  Maybe Heather Burns took one too many balls to the head and that made her think she could be a trainer a tight end The Quarterback Whisperer.  I seem to recall a whole story arc revolving around concussions and their impact.  Oh yeah, that was a football arc.  Since we’re talking soccer here it’s only worth one panel.

The Real Wilson Casey was a star tennis player. This could easily have been a summer tennis arc but that would have warped our fragile little minds.

There have been many Tony Pauls.  I’d like to think this one is a shout-out to the industrial designer, but more than likely it’s to the Detroit News sportswriter, given the Michigancentricity of Rubin’s world.

John Jawor wears the same middle-aged white guy face that Del Bader, Wildcat Maris, Father of True Standish, and countless other middle-aged white guys in Milford have worn.  Wouldn’t it have been more interesting if Whigham had drawn him to look more like the real John Jawor?

On that note, here’s an interview with The Real John Jawor.  Maybe it’ll be more interesting than this August plot. One thing’s for sure: The Real John Jawor would’ve told those kids to keep their elbows straight by now.

 

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June 22, 2018

Yeah Del, you’d still be here..

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 8:00 pm

Cant believe theyre making a summer plot out of a story that we thought was over 2 years ago

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As we revisit the horrific events of June 7 2016, we’re reminded that the impact Del made didnt kill Boo Radley, it was the 2nd collision by the other driver that proved to be fatal. We never heard who this driver was, his/her name, and where he /she is as far as prison location or legal charges. But Del was more involved in the comic strip, so he’s stuck in jail 2 years later for what in hindsight is an accident that only involved him marginally. Clearly the 2nd driver killed Boo, and there’s no way Del should still be in the clink for this. Suspend his license, make him go to driver school, and pass a probation time of around 6- 10 months before he can re-apply for his license. I dont know the laws specifically, but that sounds about right. And meanwhile the real ‘killer’ is somewhere else and if Dafne was a real journalist it would be THIS person she should be interviewing in jail, because theyre the ones that need to be in jail. And that story would Definitely be appropriate for the school paper as there are still plenty of students there who either knew Boo or were attending the school when the accident happened. If Dafne’s slant is that Del is in jail unfairly, fine, but bacause he’s a dad of one of the students it really shouldnt be in the school paper unless the entire Bader family approved of it.

But I guess anything that keeps us from seeing Pelwecki and his pursuit of college way later then he should’ve started, is a better alternative.

P2 – Do Not …. what? Chime in with your ideas. I say ..Enter. I still dont know what DOC means.

 

June 14, 2018

Correction: Orange Is the New Dafonte*

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*and how many times have I relied on the “Orange Is the New Black” trope? Don’t ask.

Does anyone know how to lay the bases out at Valley Tech?  The outside edge of the bag goes along the baseline with the rest of the bag in fair territory, not the inside of the bag with the rest in foul territory.  Never mind that: does that field have no foul territory or what?  I wonder how many kids hurt themselves chasing after foul balls and falling over that parapet in front of the dugout.  No matter, visiting players shouldn’t swing from the dugout roof.

Valley Tech’s messed up ball field pales in comparison to today’s big reveal: Dafne Dafonte was the second driver!  How else would she be going to prison and seeing Del?   Oh wait, prisons aren’t co-ed?  Never mind.  My head spins with the crazy schemes Dafne could’ve cooked up to make this happen.  Maybe she secretly lusted after True Standish, wanted Boo Radley killed off and, disguised as Shelly from Selasky’s Supper Club, got Del Bader drunk so he would cause death.  Hey, it’s not that much more far-fetched than the idea of Del agreeing to speak to some nosy kid from his son’s high school’s newspaper in order to somehow clear his name.

Meanwhile, another Trumpet staffer, having picked up one of Holly Dobbs’ left-behind wigs, amuses herself with some newfound gadgetry.  Photography/videography buffs, help me out please: isn’t she wearing a steadicam harness?  Are those designed to work with 1960s-era film cameras like the one she’s holding?

metapost: Ned, Tim and the rest of the TWIM community have taken this blog to another level this week.  Here’s hoping I can keep it up.  Thanks to all for keeping this a going concern.

 

May 28, 2018

You’re a difference maker all right…

Filed under: actual action, Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Pissy Faced Barry Bader, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 10:22 am

What did I say about all the pitches being straight as a string? I used to visit a place where they had pitching machines and the balls wern’t this straight. There was a shed behind one of the cages and I hit one ball so hard it went through the protective net behind the cage and bounced off the roof of the shed. I felt like I hit the batting cage jackpot. Try that at home folks!

It was 97 out here yesterday, and Bader is sporting long sleeves. Must be afraid of mosquitos or skin cancer, one or the other. What a royal pain in the ass to have in your dugout. I’ll take the mosquitos over this mope.

Feel free to add on-  I’m heading to my local pool for a swim. Happy holiday!

May 25, 2018

Bader could play for Tilden…

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, Pissy Faced Barry Bader, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 5:06 pm

 

Well here it is Memorial Day weekend, and graduations are going on this weekend plus a co-worker has her sons on Tuesday night, and in Milford its… the Conference Opener?? Another example of slow play thats not on the golf course. Bader looks like the saddest kid on earth as he ponders when Dafne will grill him about his dad like so many burgers and brats. Maybe he’s thinking .. if I could sneak over to the other bench and don a helmet, nobody will notice I’m playing for the other team! Hey, the way that Tildenite swung and missed by a mile even with the ball being straight as a string ( why is every pitch straight as a string?) Why dont we see ONE human being behind the Tilden batter? No fan, player, on-deck hitter, dugout shot, umpire out of position, announcer ( hey Marty  Moon, your suspension has ended) or reporter ( hey Marjie Ducey, would be nice to see you more then 3 times a year)?

Pelwecki goes yard in P2, and he’s quietly fading into the background in this storyline, (thank goodness. If I hear any more launch angle crap I’m running on the field myself and tackling him before he gets home.)

So maybe Bader will see the field again before summer starts. Or maybe he’ll graduate like everyone else and leave the team and this dreadful scene behind as he moves on to a college career as a wine taster. Sorry, a whine taster. Cheers!

 

 

March 17, 2018

Look Out Marty, ‘Cause I’m Using Technology

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As has been pointed out in yesterday’s comments, this arc is becoming less and less about two Puerto Rican high schoolers’ adjustments to life post-Hurricane Maria and more and more about how the people around them react to them.  Ernie from My Three Sons Duncan and Karina are getting more character development than Jorge and Paloma at this point. Duncan is suddenly becoming a broadcaster and Karina is growing a ginormous man hand. I’m calling recycled art on that paw.

Meanwhile Marty finally gets confronted by someone at WDIG other than the sales guy. Is he the station manager or somebody else in a position of authority over Marty? If so, why is he just now calling Marty out about his mouth when he’s been doing his derogatory schtick for several games now? And why would Marty assume (a) he has any listeners (b) those listeners love him (c) that objecting to his schtick is somehow “P.C.”?

I still maintain that if Milford was anything other than 1959 with cell phones, Marty would have been buried in a tweetstorm as soon as he overpronounced Jorge’s name during the game after Karina and Duncan visited him and would’ve been at least suspended and more than likely fired.  Whatevs; I’m looking forward to the first installment of Mudlark hoops starring Duncan Levin, livestreamed over tin cans and sponsored by Los Morenos (who boycotted WDIG).

I had to scrap my first draft title for today’s post because I used it once already. Here’s the inspiration for its replacement:

February 1, 2018

In Control, Until They’re Not

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Okay, nothing too out of the ordinary to start off with today.  New Small Mudlark Jorge Padilla gets vertical and grabs a board. Gil sticks with his hyphenated game plan and Milford gets the W.  Playing at higher altitudes didn’t give La Junta the advantage at presumably closer to sea level and oxygen richer Milford. Maybe it was the size-shifting basketball that gave them trouble.  They have a long train ride ahead of them.

Panel 3 provides us our Whisky Tango Foxtrot moments of the day. This was a home game, and Milford has banners. How long have they been there? When was the last time we saw a Milford hoops team win the Valley, or anything more? And what’s with that out-of-control, writhing mass of humanity? I need to post up the color version to try to sort them out.

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Who are these people? Is that Jorge doing the jazz hands thing in the back? Where’s Aaaaron Aaaagard? Being so much taller than the rest you’d think he’d stand out. Is that Big Ken Brown, still with the team front and center? Who is this freakishly large guy at front right, and what is he doing to front-and-center guy’s left arm? Looks like he’s trying to break it. I’m throwing the Recycled Art tag on him; his profile looks an awful lot like the generic Whigham everyguy profile. Heck, the whole panel just looks like Whigham cut and pasted every rando player he’s drawn for the past few years, with no regard for scale, proportion and perspective.

December 2, 2017

We’re that Much Closer to Giving Up This Silly Plot

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Know what else needs to be given up? Whigham’s obsession with goatees, sidelong glances, elf hair on women and whipping down the glasses Horatio Caine style. It’s already a comic strip; it doesn’t need to be any more cartoonish. Maybe a cameo from Tank McNamara‘s Dr. Tszap would help.

Going with the color version of the strip today so we can all see that Uncle Gary is so full of shit his eyes are brown. Neither he nor Connie Soto are doctors; how would they know better than Rick Scott that Rick Soto needs medical attention? Of course, UG could be one of those ambulance chasing kind of lawyers who knows just enough about personal injury to have made it big on contingencies to sit around at his sister’s house all fall and play Svengali.

There are four NCAA FBS conference championship games being played this afternoon and evening. What says Milford will lose that many games in that many days over the next two weeks?

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