This Week in Milford

August 31, 2017

Not-so-fast Times at Milf High

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Oh snap! You mean a 30-year-old is able to give an 18-year-old some career advice for once? Is the Thorpiverse becoming less parallel? Somebody pinch me!

When did Heather and softball ever appear in the same sentence in this strip to date? Did the fact that, in Milford, you can ditch softball practice for “journalism” with no ill effects influence her decision? Or is it her understanding that softball and soccer are the only coaching options for women in this country? What about, you know, basketball? You can coach that in Milford without experience; just ask Steve Luhm and Bobby Howry. Maybe Jaquan wants her to coach him.

We’ve had a field day with the badly drawn vehicles in the strip this week. Today Heather’s car looks like the love child of a last-generation Ford Focus and a Subaru Baja.  I’m never quite sure if this is cartoonists’ way of avoiding IP infringement claims, but Rex Morgan‘s Terry Beatty seems to be able to draw a reasonable facsimile of a Mercedes-Benz GL-Class SUV, so take that however you will.

Enough for today; I need to find a sports bar with ACC Network Extra so I can watch True Standish’s Demon Deacons host the mighty Blue Hose this evening.

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July 8, 2017

That’s “Dafne.” “Hello” is my kitty’s name.

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I will refrain from falling back on my go-to “Who saw that coming?” from Black Dynamite except to say, well, I saw that coming.

Now that that’s out of the way, hey, sports! Well, sorta. Not only did laissez-faire Mimi let Daffy back onto the field after that fiasco, she let her take infield. Some of the other Lady Mudlarks must have run off from practice after being distracted by something or other.

I notice Drafty has a soccer ball in her room. Maybe Heather Burns left it behind for her. Anyhoo, while we await a week of hand-waving at Milford losses and Dafonte’s print mea culpa, we can at least have fun speculating on what misogynistic fun and games await us for the next eight weeks thereafter.

 

September 15, 2016

I Felt Like Skipping, Too, But I Posted This Anyway

Filed under: bizarre cameos, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, soccer — teenchy @ 4:29 am

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Say goodbye to the brutally honest Coach Dawes. Nice knowin’ ya.

Back to the gridiron where three unidentifiable lumps* converse. Maybe the lump in shoulder pads and shorts is our newfound Friend of TWIM Kevin Pelwecki, based on his size and dark mullet. Not sure what the other two are supposed to be laughing or not laughing about but it might be that already marked 40-yard line, which is put down 90 degrees off from any I’ve ever seen.  When Gil needs help getting the chalk down on the field, you know it’s gonna be a long season – figuratively, that is; I don’t see this one lasting five and a half months in real time myself.

* TWIMer Max points out that unidentifiable lump nearest the reader is one-armed Coach Steve Boone. Perhaps I should not have assumed that he could have had an arm obscured in shadow.

September 14, 2016

Those Soccer Balls Seem Very Large

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, exposition comics, freak hands, soccer — timbuys @ 6:21 am

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I mean, I guess they’re in the foreground?

Anyway, Heather kind of sucks at soccer and Coach Dawes is finally opening up about it. It’s definitely a different flavor of Milford jerkiness…

September 13, 2016

It’s Kind Of Like Logan’s Run But The Setting Is A High School Girls Soccer Team

Filed under: Prairie Style Windows, soccer, Trainer Rick Scott — timbuys @ 6:30 am

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Coach Dawes is truly inspiring here. I’m going to go out on a limb and suppose that she is a salaried employee of Milford (or The District) and not some hobo that Gil or Mimi cajoled into coaching the team for free.

September 10, 2016

As Burns Heather, So Burns Heather Burns

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows, soccer — teenchy @ 11:21 am

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Milford girls’ soccer drills appear to involve running figure-eights around giant outdoor Cooties. Oh wait – those are the football players doing push-ups. By “at least we have it better than the football players,” bun-wearing soccer girl must be referring to the fact that the soccer players don’t have to do push-ups.

But newly-identified Heather Burns knows better. Who won the state championship two seasons ago? Who was the focus of last year’s reality-show flop hit, Welcome Back Carter? Who’s been the focus of every fall story arc in Milford? When has there ever been a soccer arc in Gil Thorp? Tired of toiling in obscurity, Heather will soon be trying out for the football team, which will be in desperate need of an offensive spark with the departure of The Golden Ticket Child Who Shall Not Be Named. Ready to settle in for an autumn of blatant sexism, stalled drives and the WHUD! of footballs clanging off goalposts?

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