This Week in Milford

September 15, 2018

Oh Snap!

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Since we’ve dropped the non sequitur about student film buffs and Chekov’s crosswalk for the moment, let’s turn our attention to the practice field where Gil and his staff are turning their attention to special teams.  Let’s break down what we’re seeing here:

  1. Steve Boone is looking younger every year. Must be all that blood going to his cheeks that doesn’t have to go to his left arm anymore.  Oops, did I just say that out loud?
  2. Speaking of left arms, what the hell is going on with Gil’s? Is he supposed to be cupping his hand to his mouth or his ear? Is he signaling for a first down or is that one of those once-innocuous hand gestures that’s now some kind of secret white supremacist code signal?
  3. Sam Finn was a backup at guard for a certain greasy-haired Mudlark who shall remain nameless last season. He’ll probably get more touches than said greasy-haired player this season which leads me to…
  4. Do kids really start specializing as long snappers in high school?  Does Milford, which had to play a female ex-trainer at tight end last season, really have the kind of depth for that?  They apparently don’t have anyone who knows how to punt, which does occasionally happen on high school teams. Can Gil still not convince any soccer players to come out for the team?
  5. Why has Gil yet to retire  the jersey number of his unicorn in football cleats?

metapost: If any of you TWIMers out there live in the path of Hurricane/Tropical Storm Florence, please check in and let us know you’re okay.  Most of teenchy’s friends and fam in Bakst country are doing fine, some without power but none with major property damage or yet displaced from their homes.  Fingers crossed…

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September 14, 2018

Oh buddy you’ve got more then 2 problems

Panel 1 features 2 guys talking to each other while not looking at each other. And the paint scheme didnt go too well, so why the HELL are we wasting panel space on it?? 10 minutes of watching kids paint. Really scintilating television. I’m signing up for the Milford Channel asap. Then the cops show up. Boy thats a surprise. Blocking off a street for say, a block party, requires written approval from your local authorities. You cant just take a horse and stick it in the middle of a street. Hey, maybe I’ll block off Michigan Avenue for a protest tomorrow. How you think that’ll go? 10 minutes? Maybe 5.

Aaand back at football, the boys are stretching while Big Yellow Hair Guy finishes Gils sentence. They do that a lot in this strip. One person says something and the other one finishes the thought. How often does that happen in real life? My guess is –no kicker, and no punter, and the solution is– use a lineman to do both. They used to do that all the time in the pros. Paul Hornung was a punter as well as a halfback. Who was Joe Recichar? He held the NFL record for the longest field goal made, at 58 yards, until Tom Dempsey broke it with a 63-yarder. Recichar was a lineman for the Colts. (Dempseys record has since been broken) I once answered a trivia contest in the local newspaper regarding that fact, and had my name in the paper. Cool.

 

November 18, 2017

Life-Changing Foreshadowing

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Wow. Take away the dialogue from today’s first panel and you’d be hard pressed not to think Uncle Gary was fixing to slap the hell out of his sister Connie. I’m sure it’s really meant to be more of a “talk to the hand” gesture, as in “What Rick thinks (or you think) of my grand scheme to make him famous is of no consequence to me.” Or, in the words of someone I alluded to in my last post:

The only person’s life in need of obvious change here is Uncle Gary, but not in the way he thinks.  What does dad in Dubai think of this? Why haven’t we seen or heard diddly from him? Wouldn’t Connie or Rick have mentioned Gary’s scheme to him already? Wouldn’t he be back on the next Emirates nonstop into Milford International Airport to beat creepy uncle to a pulp? Meanwhile…

“We’re here at Milford High School, where we’ve secretly replaced Rick Soto’s head with one off a broken Rock’em Sock’em Robot. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!”

Rick is not getting the gist of veer blocking from Coach Steve Boone. Maybe Uncle Gary’s little scheme is proving too much of a distraction. Maybe the fake concussion Uncle Gary claimed Rick had will turn into a real concussion next week. Then the real life changing may begin.

 

 

November 7, 2017

Oh Goody. More Waiting.

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Amazing. So, Gil’s brilliant strategy of implementing a new offense mid-season was based on, among other very dubious assumptions, the notion that it keys entirely off of one and only one player. That’s some coaching.

Panel 1: I had a job with a guy from the midwest who used ‘gents’ frequently. A recent development was that I had to work with/for him a lot more. I don’t work at that job anymore.

Panel 2: Should I recognize this guy? I sure should. He’s the dynamo who is driving the plot, Andre! Here he is as part of the crowd and here is where we confirm his name. We also see him here being kind of a jerk about supporting Little Ricky’s fledgling singing career. Way to go, Andre! That can-do spirit is exactly what the team will need while they are getting pounded into the turf at Tilden.

Panel 3: Speaking of jerks… Jeeze guys. Maybe save that talk for after practice. Are coaches Shaw and Boone the shadowy figures lurking in panel two? Guys! Gil and Andre can totally hear you.

Bonus Question: What is the purpose of that card Steve is holding? I checked the color version of the strip which shows that it’s a white, blank card.

Bonus Bonus Question: Speaking of, by what means is Steve’s towel suspended?

March 15, 2017

You Want Gil’s Attention? Hit Him In His Wallet.

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos, Pissy faced Gil, Steve Boone — timbuys @ 12:32 pm

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It’s great how things rapidly drew to a head the second time Gil had to cover another $3.50 slice of banana cream pie. You can practically see him wince as the order goes in. Never mind all of that hypothetical checking in with counselors or social workers, Gil is just going to cut to the chase and straight up talk Tina out of her opioid addiction.

Bonus point:

Hey, it’s Steve Boone! Nice to see him picking up a paycheck during the football off-season.

 

November 10, 2016

Undersized Hog

Filed under: actual action, football, Steve Boone — nedryerson @ 7:35 am

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Check it out, it’s Steve Boone, Milford’s line coach making his second appearance this fall. He was yelling at sloppy hogs a few weeks ago when we thought The Secret Pelwecki was going to be all the rage. Now that we’re embroiled in the adventures of H.E. Burns, all catch/no block TE, it is great timing that Steve makes another appearance. Steve is a voice of reason within the Milford coaching brain trust. What are we doing with this undersized TE who can’t support our ground game, Steve asks. We’re right there with you, buddy.

October 17, 2016

Pete De Windt: Sloppy Hog

Filed under: actual action, football, Steve Boone — nedryerson @ 3:41 am

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The rain soaked game continues. It’s all ponchos and slop. Is that line coach Steve Boone barking out to his lineman, aka hogs, to slug it out in the slop? Hogs do enjoy slop. You know who really loves him some slop? TE Pete De Windt! He loves slippin’ and slidin’ in the slop and throwing big, explosive blocks so that Milford can move, sloppily. Stay sloppy, Pete!

Edited to add: I can’t believe I missed the chance to throw in a few obscure pop culture references. First, I could have used the Devo song Sloppy (I Saw My Baby Getting) and second, the Frank Zappa line: Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho? Oh well, I still get paid the same. (Also, there is really no decent video for the Devo song. They didn’t make a proper video for the song and all of the live ones on Youtube look and/or sound like crap.)

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