This Week in Milford

November 17, 2022

Wait Until Mike Knapp Hears About This!

Filed under: Dr. Pearl, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Keri Thorp, talking doors, Water Fountains — nedryerson @ 6:32 am

What a great opener, a water fountain and a talking door! The talking door indicates that Dr. Pearl will fold like a cheap suit and the “zero tolerance” policy on violence has some wiggle room. Why does Dr. Pearl owe Gil one? Did we miss the part where Gil raised hell about the shenanigans in Mr. Reddenbacher’s class during the “drill” that freaked Keri out in the first place? I don’t want to speculate on what other favors Gil might have done, but I guess they made it worth Dr. Pearl’s while to have to answer to Dorothy’s parents about why Keri “Clubber” Thorp is still attending MHS.

The Mandatory Counselor is certainly going to get an earful from Keri Thorp, and Keri’s gigantic gap of memory could be very troubling. I think Gil and Mimi should go along and Mandatory Counselor will cancel his contract with the Valley School System and move somewhere less fraught with dysfunction, like Beirut.

Yes, Keri, it’s fine…we’re all fine here now (pending input from Mimi). You’ve learned an important lesson from your dad, whose role model in half-assed parenting is Homer Simpson:

February 14, 2022

Up With (Ridiculous) People

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects, talking doors — nedryerson @ 4:25 am

Oh no! Hollis Talley is up with a conundrum. Should she rat out her friends who threw a party where six girls shared a Zima or keep mum and run the risk that the USAF Academy secret police will uncover her malfeasance? Oh yeah, what a conundrum.

Speaking of conundrums, what are those polka dotted things behind Hollis? Furniture? Misshapen hat boxes?

Meanwhile, Pranit Smith is up with the Clippers. Oh no! He was up but now he’s down. This sports wagering is not for the faint of heart, Pranit. Especially when you’re also covering Jimmy’s and who knows who else’s action. Uh oh, Pranit’s parents are concerned. Just tell ’em you lost at Donkey Kong and ask for a Pepsi. Now get back on the horse and you can bet your way out of this mess. That’s the ticket.

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