This Week in Milford

May 6, 2022

A Hamm Hmph

Filed under: baseball, Pantheon of Hair, Pissy faced minor character, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 7:50 pm

Im not sure who the girl is, perhaps the tennis player? Scooters girlfriend.. Anyhoo- they take the whole meal to discuss what we already have known for 2 weeks- Mr. Hamm doesnt like his picture shown. Curtis surmises he may be in the Witness Protection Program. Here’s more on exactly what that is:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Federal_Witness_Protection_Program

I think its way simpler then that, but we dont have enough facts to make a call just yet. All we have is him finishing something on his PC and his wife commenting about it:

Which brings us to P3 and the Hamms enjoying a glass of wine on the porch. I read the Gocomics comments and someone remarked that Mrs. Hamm had changed her hairstyle the same day from ponytail to bobcut. I disagree- she merely removed the rubberband that made the ponytail and let it hang down when she got home: Many women do that..

She also had clips in her hair in the panel from April 1 as an alternative to rubberbands to hold her long hair in place. (See 2 panels above)

But this is my favorite look for her: Looking good indeed.

The artist musta forgot how hot she was in this panel and went back to her other color, to my dismay. Ponytails always make you look fun.

So she doesnt seem too keen on her hubby hiding behind the cameras, for whatever reason, and I really hope the whole baseball season doesnt take a back seat to this. We have bigger fish to fry, like their sons eyes not working.

I’m sure Mrs Hamm approves of my song choice today:

May 4, 2022

From a Slick Stop to a Meal Stop

Time for a break from the Milford Witness Protection Program for some actual action.

Central tries to mount a late rally against the Mudlarks by putting on Milford’s uniforms and crowding the plate. This ruse fails as Gonzo Aceves gets the batter in disguise to ground into a game-ending double play. Surprising that Gil and Kaz left Gonzo in to pitch a complete game; maybe they were also too busy watching Mama Hamm take a bullet for Papa Hamm to pay attention to the action on the field.

Menawhile Marty’s in his crate, calling the game using the CB radio he pulled from under the dash of his car and taking notes using a carpenter’s pencil. Guess Marty got it from Heather that everyone’s calling Aceves “Gonzo” now. Though he and his butter knife are long gone The Mayor has left his mark, at least for the rest of this season.

Now it’s off for postgame junk food, either at Ricozzi’s or The Bucket. Will the Hammmmer walk into a pane of glass as he joins the rest of the team? Will Papa Hamm be stuffed in the trunk of the Hammmobile when Mama Hamm comes to pick Gregg up? Will Scooter be too busy bragging about the twin killing he turned to bore everyone to tears with baseball trivia? So much to anticipate for the rest of the week!

March 14, 2022

Maybe He’s On The Potato And Grease Diet

Filed under: Colorist Error, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 4:14 am

Pranit Smith is spending his post basketball free time hanging around basketball games, loitering near the locker room. I guess he’s addicted to the smell of sweaty socks. I’m surprised Captain Talley (if that’s her, lots of assumptions about who’s who today) would allow herself to be seen talking to the deposed shooter Smith. Isn’t the Air Force Academy Secret Police watching her to make sure she doesn’t fraternize with the wrong element? She could just say she was shoving him out of the way so he didn’t get trampled by the squad of giant hoopsters.

Haha, Pranit said BET instead of BED! Oh boy, this suspension and expulsion from the team have got Pranit seriously confused.

Speaking of serious confusion. I don’t know who is at the bucket ordering water and French fries. I guess it’s supposed to be Pranit, being grilled by Tevin (probably) about his lack of cash. Um, Tevin, have you been keeping up with the story. Pranit was really BAD at funding his betting endeavors because he was taking everybody’s bets with no cash upfront. Sheesh, kid, we spent two months hammering that home.

January 5, 2022

Today’s Special at The Bucket: Sausage Biscuits

Filed under: Bad Jokes, basketball, freak hands, High Five Fail, The Bucket — teenchy @ 9:49 am

Today’s strip is a Gil Thorp classic: an example of how Rubin makes the sausage in Milford.

  1. Give character a seemingly random name that lends itself to fairly obvious nicknames.
  2. Give character a seemingly innocuous extracurricular activity that lends itself to abuse.
  3. Give character an extracurricular situation that could potentially benefit from character’s abuses of the extracurricular activity.*
  4. Give character lines that would seem to imply that character is engaging in said extracurricular activity in a manner that could address said extracurricular situation.
  5. ?
  6. Profit!

Step 4 is taking place at The Bucket; at least I assume that’s The Bucket, from the outward-leaning pillar of a type found nowhere else in Milford and the non-institutional table. Now that he has mouthed off about point spreads in games he’s playing in, it’s only a matter of time before Pranit gets cold, clanks a couple of shots and is immediately accused of tanking. Pranit will offer a weak explanation but not before word of his mouthing spreads like omicron around Milford and the Valley and the Mudlarks are out of playdown contention, either via actual losses or games they’re forced to forfeit because of said mouthing. Someone will step up to defend Pranit but not before his reputation is sullied and his bones broken by the Valley Mob the Mudlarks win a now meaningless season finale.

Now then, what’s going on with the Lady Mudlarks and that Air Force cadet-in-waiting?

*edit: Bonus points if said extracurricular activity impinges on said character’s ability to play for the Mudlarks to the fullest of their potential.

September 25, 2021

Where Were You the Day The Bucket Got Its Liquor License?

teenchy here. Dunno where robmize is. I’ve got a busy afternoon and evening ahead of me so I’m not gonna wait any longer and put up a double post. I’ll be traveling next weekend so hopefully rob, or Ned, or tdrew can cover for me then. Heck, maybe even timbuys could pop back in for a cameo. (Tim, you out there bud? Miss you here in the rotation.) Anyhoo, on with the show.

September 24, 2021

No clue who Chance’s blocker Gordon Achebe is IRL (any relation to the famed author of Things Fall Apart?) but Kimberly Gordon-Achebe is Program Director of the University of Maryland Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Fellowship and consultant of the Programs for Assertive Community Treatment (PACT)-child division.  There was a Gordon Achebe on the team last year, but he looked a little different back then. This year’s Gordon isn’t about picking sides in a QB controversy but more about covering for his triple-threat backfield teammate, Chance Macy.

Chance has been around since 2019 so we really shouldn’t be learning much of anything new about him. He lives with his grandparents; his parents haven’t been in the picture and he doesn’t hold them in high regard. He has (or at least had) anger management issues. He got plenty of exposition during that season while Chet Ballard tried to smear him to win his stepson some playing time and his love.

Heather was in Iowa while all this was happening, so it’s news to her. Maybe she should take that superfluous finger off her temple and use it to Google some of Marjie’s old articles from the past two seasons before she decides it’s news for Star readers. Off to The Bucket for postgame festivities…

September 25, 2021

… and a surprise appearance from Kianna Bello, who apparently had back-to-back sports practices but got to catch the Mudlark football game. Guessing volleyball practice came first; there’s no way Mimi would schedule an event that conflicted with Gil’s! No, Mudlark sports reign supreme, and Mudlark football reigns the supremest. It doesn’t take an Alexa Watson to figure out that Kianna will be dropping gymnastics quicker than you can say “I’ll take my Bucket Daiquiri in a go-cup, please and thank you.”

Passed out face-down in a booth isn’t a good look on a star athlete. Either learn to hold your liquor or stop burning the candle at both ends. All that’s missing from this amusing scene is a puddle of drool coming from Kianna’s mouth.

June 28, 2021

Lukewarm? All The Heat Has Escaped By Now

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Oakwood, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 3:47 am

There was another baseball game against Oakwood. All we are shown is victorious fist bumping after a win. That’s actual action…of a sort.

There isn’t time or space to give us a glimpse at the post game festivities at The Bucket. The narration box suggests that Zane Clark attended the festivities at The Bucket before heading to the library for more studying. I wonder if Mr. Brito drives by to see how late the library stays open and counts cars in the parking lot.

Well, look who’s bringing Zane some of that (tepid) Coffee Cantina brew. It’s Katie Brito! So things are good between these two. Zane references his coffee idea for the library*. Ha ha ha. Can we freeze and roll credits on these lamoids now.

*Yeah, the library should be operating and staffing a coffee stand that will be open just in case Zane (or the homeless guy who sleeps behind the unplugged microfiche reader) needs a caffeine fix. That’s a great use of community resources.

April 21, 2021

Off the Road, On to Home Cooking

As Ned alluded to in his comment to his Monday post, GoComics has switched to the color version of the strip, so we’ll be in living color from now on, most likely.

This of course will allow us to snark on inconsistencies in hair or skin color as well as the on the absurdity of coloring an already dark uniform red. Low hanging fruit. I preferred the b&w version myself as it left more to the imagination.

We start today’s strip with some exposition. Presumably Zane Clark got through another inning and “Gonzo” Gonzales closed the door on Nottingham and got the save. Zane then gets the hold and gets to hold Katy’s hand before she’s off to the Milford Activity Bus for a road trip.

The Lady Mudlarks have traveled to Syracuse, NY to face Henninger, a team whose home unis look a lot like the Padres’ road uniforms of the early 2000s. Maybe that’s not “sand” but “khaki” and, along with the nickname, a nod to the Black Knights of the Hudson. In any event, the colorists actually got it close to right on this one.

Tomorrow will bring us another Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? moment, one that will probably revolve around the use or lack thereof of the Milford Public Library. In the meantime, let’s just appreciate that today’s strip answers the question “Which Corina is best Corina?”: the one that is neither seen nor heard.

March 22, 2021

One And Done

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Mimi Thorp, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 11:00 am

The Lady Mudlarks were no match for Burr and Burton Academy. Burr and Burton are moving on and the Milford squad has to take a morose bus ride back to Tank Town (but not before Mimi Thorp has to plaster a smile on her face to shake hands with the smug faced coach of B&B).

Mimi is adamant that the team must celebrate at The Bucket because they had a great season. (Did they? I didn’t notice. billy can fill us in later.) So Mimi can’t be bothered to go to The Bucket, but she will drive by after she picks up a couple boxes of wine and a carton of Ring Dings from Costco.

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