This Week in Milford

January 11, 2021

Let’s Talk Accessibility Vehicles

Filed under: huge glasses, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 10:40 am

I think Rod Whigham really wanted to draw some cars, but not just muscle cars like Doug Guthrie’s GTO. He lovingly recreated a GMC Safari, a sexy wheelchair-accessible light-duty vehicle for the ages. Look at it parked under the bright lights of The Bucket, gleaming like a pearl. Nice.

Gearhead Doug Guthrie is not just into high performance vehicles, but he also seems to have an interest in wheelchair-accessible vehicles. He’s up on the latest trends in such vehicles so he wonders if Vic has considered the MV-1. That’s a wheelchair-accessible light-duty vehicle from Mobility Ventures, which isn’t currently in production but must have caught Doug’s eye in Car and Driver a few years back. I don’t know Doug, the base price on those was around 40K and Vic, who couldn’t have been driving for too long, is cruisin’ around in a sixteen year old van. I’d say he didn’t consider the MV-1.

The boys in The Bucket are ready to move on from this fascinating topic. No, wait, someone wants more details on the MV-1. Fasten your seatbelts and swivel your seats. This is really going to get interesting.

January 9, 2021

It’s Not the One Marked “Free Candy”

Today let’s be anoraks and go down the rabbit hole of passenger vans. The Chevy Astro and its GMC Safari sibling were mid-size vans sold by GM from the mid-1980s until the mid-2000s. They were sold in both cargo and passenger van configurations. Even though they haven’t been made in over a decade and a half, you still see them on the road once in a while. I’m guessing in Vic’s case he doesn’t live in his down by the river, so the conversion isn’t of the camper kind but of the kind that helps him accommodate his CP. It should then look something like this:

What’s the point of all this? A point of connection between distracted kartboy Guthrie and overzealous PA boy Doucette. Maybe a few poor showings on the track will convince Doug that racing’s not his future but wrenching is. We can fast forward a few years to find Vic doing PA work for the Detroit Pistons while Doug is swapping actual pistons in the last few internal combustion-engined vehicles in town at the Milford Garage and Auto Body.

Tune in Monday when Vic fills us in on the van and the rest of the Mudlarks finally eat those burgers.

January 8, 2021

Now thats a f-f-f-freak hand

Filed under: basketball, freak hands, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 8:34 pm

Well its fine and dandy that Vic made it through the game without getting assaulted either by the opposing team or his own, by making up nicknames that may or may not have been approved beforehand. Whats Marty Moon gonna do for an encore now that nobodys listening to him anymore?

See you there? How do they know Vic doesnt have some postgame work to do adding up stats etc, or heck, doing homework? Maybe its Friday night anyway. A little camaraderie with the PA announcer doesnt hurt any, but I KNOW I never saw a PA announcer who fraternized with the team.

Ever see a hand so big it could unscrew the ceiling lights all by itself? Now you have.

Nice that they already ordered food before Vic strolled in. I’m sure he was busy doing what I said in the last paragraph. I imagine they’ll come up with some more nicknames for other players for the next game. The fly in the ointment is coming though, and Rubin is doing a good job of disguising it so far. But so far this plot is rather painless.

Finally, my video will feature a guy we lost last night, Tommy Lasorda, former manager of the Dodgers who ate at every restaurant in Chicago, and then some. Probably hadnt paid for a meal there in who knows how long, what with all the people he knew and who he was; a true baseball ambassador who was the first manager I really cheered for when his Dodgers played the Yankees in the World Series. I still remember this bullshit call by the umps involving Reggie Jackson. I was as mad as Tommy.

December 18, 2020

Cars and glasses

Filed under: huge glasses, Milford Weirdos, oversize objects, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 10:59 pm

Doug Guthrie (no relation to singer Arlo Guthrie or race car driver Janet Guthrie ) we meet the next Harry Carey, Vic Doucette, who is among other things, a writer for the Detroit Metro Times. He also looks like this..

Vic Doucette - Option for the Poor: Engaging the Social Tradition

Doug looks like this…

Doug Guthrie (@ProfGuthrie) | Twitter

As Cub fans are well aware, nobody had bigger glasses then Harry.

Pin on Chicago My Kind Of Town

But ol Vic is giving it a try, and looking in the mirror only doubles his pleasure as he sees his huge frames staring back at him. Which team needs help, Dougs racing team, or Gils basketball team? Is he filling in for Leonard while he recovers from his ankle injury, or is he Dougs tire changer in the pits? And why does he say “But…” if he’s starting a conversation with himself?

December 16, 2020

Make Vrooom for Dougie

Boy, that was a great move by Gil, benching his first- and second-string QBs out of spite to let his emergency QB play out the string and get injured so he can’t play basketball. Stroke of genius there, Arschloch.

That walking boot isn’t enough to keep poor Fleming from hobbling to The Bucket for a beverage and a communal basket of fries. (The heat must not be working well there since yet another kid with keyhole bangs won’t take his toque off. Then again, that may be a watch cap and pea coat he’s wearing and he’s soon off to take first watch. Does Milford High have a JNROTC?) Doug Guthrie, on the other hand, isn’t hobbling or walking to The Bucket but announcing his arrival with a VROOOM! Could this be shades of 1958, when Gil’s biggest challenges to Mudlark success weren’t his shitty coaching ability and dim-witted players Milford’s rivals in the Valley but hot rods and jobs to pay for hot rods? We’ll know for sure when Gil tells his players to start taking more set shots and underhanded free throws. A call (and another shout-out of thanks) to TWIM‘s Sports Information Director billytheskink may be in order.

October 7, 2020

Alternative Facts Come to the Milford Locker Room

Well, not necessarily alternative, nor revised. Let’s just call them edited and leave it at that.

Of course lineman boy and whoever else was dressed out for the game knows Gil was gonna cut Terry a new one when he called audibles not once but twice. What did he expect Rapson to say? That Gil recognized his inherent superiority over Thayer and intended to make him the permanent starter? If it’s hot gossip he wants, he should just go to the diner and hit up Maureen.

Speaking of Thayer, he’s pretty quiet there on the bench next to lineman boy. Basking in the knowledge that the starting job is his to lose for the rest of the season, and the only snaps Rapson’s gonna see are the ones at the receiving end of his teammates’ towels as he collects them for the laundry Gil will be making him do as punishment? Or plotting out his next smooth lines to lay on Corina and snappy comebacks to her inevitable wiseassery? Let’s go to The Bucket and find out. Corina’s not gonna be happy when she finds out the food there ain’t free, that’s for sure.

October 2, 2020

Who wants to have some fun??

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 8:56 pm

Down the stretch we come; the first game of the season is always like pulling teeth, 2 weeks of suspense for 3 hours of action. Then we zip through 3 games in 1 panel.

Do we have 2 qb’s here who only play until they mess up? I never saw one benched because of a poor handoff. Ive seen plenty of Bears quarterbacks, and one thing they all could do was hand off.

I understand giving both guys playing time (it IS high school) but as usual, Terry is gonna complicate things, instead of merely running out the clock. Of course, no one said anything about the defense rolling over after the turnover, but thats Gils coaching in a nutshell.

Methinks Terry is gonna unleash the bomb downfield in an effort not only to fatten his stats (see Bobby Howry for that) but perhaps to impress Corrinna Korrinna or whatever her name is. Why just run the clock out? And who is Gil for telling them where to go after the game? WTF they can go where they wanna go (see the Mamas and the Papas)

But lets see what Terry can pull out of his ass even as a psuedo-backup who probably doesnt know all the plays very well.

June 3, 2020

It Helps If You Chant “MEAN MACHINE” While You Read This


Once again Neal Rubin has driven the Milford High Activity Bus off the road and into the ditch. What was being set up as some kind of indictment of school zero-tolerance policies has morphed into some weird-ass pickup game challenge that’s equal parts The Sandlot and The Longest Yard. As farfetched as it is I have a hunch it will come to pass, since Gil’s Mudlarks will probably miss the playdowns as per usual.

This comes off as more ego gratification for the walking ego that is Mike Knappe, but I’m picking up broad hints that there’s a bigger message being sent here: don’t fight the system, accept the hand you’re dealt, and when life gives you lemons, suck on them. Not the best of timing there.

I’m sure Rubin’s got his reasons for going down this path but unlike the Caretaker, I ain’t got eight years to hear them.

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