This Week in Milford

March 22, 2021

One And Done

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Mimi Thorp, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 11:00 am

The Lady Mudlarks were no match for Burr and Burton Academy. Burr and Burton are moving on and the Milford squad has to take a morose bus ride back to Tank Town (but not before Mimi Thorp has to plaster a smile on her face to shake hands with the smug faced coach of B&B).

Mimi is adamant that the team must celebrate at The Bucket because they had a great season. (Did they? I didn’t notice. billy can fill us in later.) So Mimi can’t be bothered to go to The Bucket, but she will drive by after she picks up a couple boxes of wine and a carton of Ring Dings from Costco.

February 26, 2021

Tessi’s booked

Filed under: Milford Weirdos, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 11:10 pm

Tessi’s got a friend

You know she’s got a good friend of mine.

And lately somethings changed

It aint hard to define

Tessi’s got herself a friend and I wanna make him mine.

Cause she’s watching him with those eyes

And she’s dissing him with that family I just know it.

And I’m holding a wrench in my arms late late at night.

I know she dicks my friend cause she’s a girl

He wants her to give him a whirl

Where can you find a jacket like that??

Gil plays around with my charade

That doesnt seem to be a reason to change.

You know I feel so dirty when I play with my wheels

I wanna tell him I cant play hoops but the point is I’m a fool

Vic is watching her with his eyes

And his nicknames man are just cruddy I just know it

And he’s holding that mic in his arms during the fight.

You know he wants to have that Tessi girl

He wants to have that Tessi girl

Where can he find a nickname like that?

January 29, 2021

Dont stop now Tessi

Filed under: Milford Weirdos, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 5:54 pm

First of all, some digression– Nobody got elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame this year; however, last years ceremony that was cancelled was to feature (among others) Ken ‘Hawk’ Harrelson, who won the Ford Frick Award last year of course, and thus was denied opportunity to speak. As many know, Hawk was full of euphemisms, or Hawkisms, a lot of which refer to golf which he also played well. One of his sayings was “Dont stop now boys!” when the White Sox (which he broadcast for many years before retiring after 2019) were putting up crooked numbers on the board. I’m sure Hawk is looking forward to attending this years event with no new players and thus making up for lost time last year. He’s a true character of the game.

So Tessi is using a Hawkism here in P3, but didnt she just tell Vic what a great voice he had? Why not tell him then what we have to wait til tomorrow for? Sheesh. Guess one compliment at a time is her speed. This comic drags stuff out better then a hoarder pulling out his trash. Why not say – hey great voice! Can I borrow your notes from physics class for a day? Badda bing badda boom. And we move on. But AS SHE STOPS NOW SHE SAYS SHE CANT STOP NOW.

And if its that personal, why say it in front of 2 other mopes? And who holds ONE book as theyre scooting past? I always carried several items with me between classes (when I didnt have time to stop now). She needs TWO hands to hold ONE book. How many hands does she need to hold her cell phone?

You had time to squeeze someones arm, but not ask a favor? And I dont know about you, but ol Vic may be getting a big head about his PA success, as he remarks about his fan mail. Who the hell is sending a high school PA announcer fan mail? And he sits with the boys because theyre gonna read it? He cant?

Enough of that nonsense– on a personal note, tomorrow I’m heading to Muskegon Michigan for my 3rd annual weekend luging trip, once again trying to bring home a medal after finishing 5th last year in my division, 2 seconds from the bronze. Practice makes perfect, hoping to stand on the podium this year and have a blast as always regardless. I’ll report on my efforts next week.

Finally a song by the Who back when they could hear what they were singing: Tessi’s got a squeeze box in her locker apparently.

January 27, 2021

Jumping Into the Shallow End

Now we come to the part of a Gil Thorp season arc where the multiple plot lines come crashing together like a Jeep Compass and a pickup truck with a loose CD rolling around in the cab (or a GMC Safari and a Tri-Power Goat). It’s also the part where lines between protagonists and antagonists become a little less clear.

Take the case of Tessi. She’s a bit of a social butterfly, schmoozing it up in the locker room and at The Bucket. Kinda like one of those kids who start out running for student council and eventually end up in Congress. This somehow makes her “shallow” in the eyes of Corina (and maybe some others, if “some people” means “more people than the one person I’m talking to”), yet somehow the fact that the other girls are listening to Tessi recap a Kardashian show ep doesn’t make them equally shallow. Tessi’s less disputable flaw is an inability (or as Corina sees it, an unwillingness) to play defense, focusing more on her scoring and her stat line. Yo, Tessi, blocks and steals show up in the stats too!

About that Corina, then. She’s become Milford’s spunky righter of wrongs who, through the power of sheer snark and playing the new girl angle, managed to settle Gil’s quarterback controversy and increase turnout at Milford volleyball games concurrently. How’s it gonna play with her when Tessi moves in on her turf by suggesting Vic Doucette work the PA system for the girls’ games? Dare anyone else suggest a way to draw more attention to Lady Mudlark hoops? Not even Paloma Padilla and the Milford Pirate Network could do that!

meta: I’m a bit relieved to find out that it’s been reported that Henry Aaron’s death (see Saturday night’s soapbox) was due to natural causes. This, sadly and unsurprisingly, has not stopped numerous people from running with rumor.

meta2: Sorry so late with this post; lost my first draft and got caught up with work.

January 25, 2021

Sign My Bruise?

Filed under: huge earrings, metapost, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 7:15 pm

It’s Bucket time. Let’s drink milkshakes out of the highball glasses like ones in Mr. and Mrs. Robinson’s groovy drinkware collection. I get lost in all the lines and angles of The Bucket. Do those windows lean out or lean in? If you wear a wide check pattern you might blend into the background. Can I get a seat where I can stare out the window with my back to the room so everyone can stare at my bald spot? All this thinking is making me thirsty. Another round of rum & chocolate malteds here, my good man!

Okay, let’s get down to it. Corina thinks Tessi doesn’t work hard enough on defense. Her friends (are these the girls she got all her intel from on the volleyball team?) listen to her break down Tessi Milton’s tale of the tape. Hey what’s this? Corina is aware of Tessi’s deficiencies, but what really grinds her gears is the way Tessi presents herself as an achiever! Poor Corina. Mimi isn’t invested in developing well rounded players, nor does she care if anybody on the team needs an attitude adjustment. Looks like you’ll just need to get creative to take down big headed Tessi. Perhaps you should just tease her about her weight until she develops an eating disorder. (Yes I stole that joke straight from a Seinfeld episode. It’s not the first time.)

eta: I’ve added Mopped Up Thorp over in the links lists. You’ll see it under Comics Mockage Posse and Mudlarkish links. All hail Mopman!

January 11, 2021

Let’s Talk Accessibility Vehicles

Filed under: huge glasses, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 10:40 am

I think Rod Whigham really wanted to draw some cars, but not just muscle cars like Doug Guthrie’s GTO. He lovingly recreated a GMC Safari, a sexy wheelchair-accessible light-duty vehicle for the ages. Look at it parked under the bright lights of The Bucket, gleaming like a pearl. Nice.

Gearhead Doug Guthrie is not just into high performance vehicles, but he also seems to have an interest in wheelchair-accessible vehicles. He’s up on the latest trends in such vehicles so he wonders if Vic has considered the MV-1. That’s a wheelchair-accessible light-duty vehicle from Mobility Ventures, which isn’t currently in production but must have caught Doug’s eye in Car and Driver a few years back. I don’t know Doug, the base price on those was around 40K and Vic, who couldn’t have been driving for too long, is cruisin’ around in a sixteen year old van. I’d say he didn’t consider the MV-1.

The boys in The Bucket are ready to move on from this fascinating topic. No, wait, someone wants more details on the MV-1. Fasten your seatbelts and swivel your seats. This is really going to get interesting.

January 9, 2021

It’s Not the One Marked “Free Candy”

Today let’s be anoraks and go down the rabbit hole of passenger vans. The Chevy Astro and its GMC Safari sibling were mid-size vans sold by GM from the mid-1980s until the mid-2000s. They were sold in both cargo and passenger van configurations. Even though they haven’t been made in over a decade and a half, you still see them on the road once in a while. I’m guessing in Vic’s case he doesn’t live in his down by the river, so the conversion isn’t of the camper kind but of the kind that helps him accommodate his CP. It should then look something like this:

What’s the point of all this? A point of connection between distracted kartboy Guthrie and overzealous PA boy Doucette. Maybe a few poor showings on the track will convince Doug that racing’s not his future but wrenching is. We can fast forward a few years to find Vic doing PA work for the Detroit Pistons while Doug is swapping actual pistons in the last few internal combustion-engined vehicles in town at the Milford Garage and Auto Body.

Tune in Monday when Vic fills us in on the van and the rest of the Mudlarks finally eat those burgers.

January 8, 2021

Now thats a f-f-f-freak hand

Filed under: basketball, freak hands, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 8:34 pm

Well its fine and dandy that Vic made it through the game without getting assaulted either by the opposing team or his own, by making up nicknames that may or may not have been approved beforehand. Whats Marty Moon gonna do for an encore now that nobodys listening to him anymore?

See you there? How do they know Vic doesnt have some postgame work to do adding up stats etc, or heck, doing homework? Maybe its Friday night anyway. A little camaraderie with the PA announcer doesnt hurt any, but I KNOW I never saw a PA announcer who fraternized with the team.

Ever see a hand so big it could unscrew the ceiling lights all by itself? Now you have.

Nice that they already ordered food before Vic strolled in. I’m sure he was busy doing what I said in the last paragraph. I imagine they’ll come up with some more nicknames for other players for the next game. The fly in the ointment is coming though, and Rubin is doing a good job of disguising it so far. But so far this plot is rather painless.

Finally, my video will feature a guy we lost last night, Tommy Lasorda, former manager of the Dodgers who ate at every restaurant in Chicago, and then some. Probably hadnt paid for a meal there in who knows how long, what with all the people he knew and who he was; a true baseball ambassador who was the first manager I really cheered for when his Dodgers played the Yankees in the World Series. I still remember this bullshit call by the umps involving Reggie Jackson. I was as mad as Tommy.

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