Steamed Gams

“I was so steamed, I didn’t even feel it. Those little green pills you gave me before the game helped, too, Mr. Scott.”

Yeah, I couldn’t figure out why Chance’s grandparents were looking up either. I figured from the way his helmet was popping up Rock’em Sock’em Robots style, Chance might’ve started his transformation into The Hulk. Maybe they were transfixed by the sight of Marty Moon rising up from his crate to deliver a benediction. (Mighty nice of Marty’s mom to put a vanity mirror in there; makes it easier for Marty to shave.)

Good thing Chance sprained his ankle. Now Gil won’t make him run bleachers as punishment for retaliating for Tilden’s Bill Romanowski wannabe’s personal foul. Macy will miss next week’s game, either because his sprain won’t have healed in time or because Gil will bench him for the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. It’ll be interesting to see the role Chance’s anger management problems play in this arc (compared to, oh say, Barry Bader’s).

Looks like Rick Scott didn’t get the memo: this season it’s not “Uh-Oh,” it’s “Rut-Roh!” – and it’s Charlie’s cue to get into the lineup and finish the drill.

 

From dark to light

What the hell is the ref wearing pants with back pockets for? They look like his regular Dockers he wears to church on Sunday. Surprised his wallet isnt showing in back. In the stands his father laments Gils poor coaching; yes he’s right, however fumbling on one play doesnt have any connection with frequency of carrying the bread. Otherwise why would Gil need to change ballcarriers at all, according to Mr. Roh? There has to be a first carry for everyone Mister. His logic in P2 is a lot like the chicken and the egg theory. Which came first, the carry or the fumble?

And in P3 we have a sudden return to daylight, and Chance consoles Charlie for his fumble on the 2 yard line. Charlie also has turned yellow. He may have a circulation disorder that the trainer needs to diagnose. At least in daylight its more visible. Good thing this game is taking 15 hours. Hey when’s halftime? I need a hotdog.

Man up! No, man down.

Those good ol sloppy Joes really made a difference in conditioning. I would suggest a truck of Gatorade next time. Ever see a trainer wearing blue jeans? They usually sport athletic pants or shorts. EMS would be Emergency Medical Services. Of course they arent here now like they should be and of course good ol .. Tiki, who HVB just allowed to play for these dopes after farting away our summer, is the one who is down and insisting he’s ok, just like in 2008 when the doctor Milford alum ran on the field to tend to Jeff Ponczak, who said he was ok. And he wasnt. This will be a similar conclusion methinks.

Walk-throughs with gloves on?  As they said in the show Hee Haw— “Veeervy intervesting.”

All Hands On Rick!

In the forest of hands found in today’s strip Rick Scott’s speaks the loudest, as it tells pissy Uncle Gary to talk to it. We could have fun all day coming up with witty retorts to Uncle Gary’s question but I think Rick does well enough making the point that he needs to stfu when grown folks is talkin’.

Meanwhile I dunno what Connie Soto’s doing with hers: checking out the results of her facial/wax job, maybe. She’s managed to pop her ear out from under her hairdo, giving her that Middle Earth look that pops up in Milford from time to time.

Worst Maternal Instinct Ever

Alternate title to today’s post: Milford! Drive Away From Here And Never Come Back!

We give Rubin a lot of well deserved grief for poor plot construction and characterization, but I think Connie (is that her name? Can’t be bothered to look it up…) Soto takes the cake. It’s amazing, we know more about Rick’s dad’s story and he’s been in Dubai this whole time!

Bonus Question: Is Uncle Gary wearing the jacket I think he’s wearing?

That’s Using Your Head! Or, The Other Guy.

Ugh. Well, here we are.

Uncle Gary should actually be quite satisfied with this outcome. Little Ricky’s golden throat appears uninjured (a blow to the larynx would delay if not derail his future crooning career at the Central City Copacabana) and, even if Ricky drops a few points off the ol’ IQ metric, it’s not exactly like singers are paid to think.

Tune in tomorrow to see if we get to find out what happened to the other guy.

Nice to Know Somebody Likes Something About All of This

There’s an underlying aura of creepiness that I can’t exactly put my finger on about today’s strip. Is it Trainer Rick Scott’s “I like what I see here” as he lovingly cradles Rick’s bare foot and calf? Is it that Uncle Gary (and his enormously oversized Bluetooth earbud) has a posse of the equally underemployed to roll out YouTube videos at his command? Is it Rick waving his arm like Evita Peron* as he sings the national anthem? Or is it the idea of rando Milfordian’s grandpa’s browser history that led him to Rick’s performance?

*It doesn’t take much to imagine Rick singing “Don’t cry for me, Milford High School…”

metapost: Weird double post this morning. Hopefully I fixed it.

Just when you thought it was safe….

….to miss Rick singing at a game, here it comes. But first we have to look at his foot with a pumpkin on top of it. Oh yeah, that supposed to be an icebag. Last time I was that close to a foot I walked into the tiny  pro shop at a golf course and the female employee was standing on a chair barefoot dusting the ceiling fan. I told her I almost ran into her feet, and resisted a sudden urge to tickle them. Lol. If I ever write about my golf career this story would definitely make the list. Life has those unique moments you always remember.

P2 – really, how many trainers at a high school have pictures of leg bones on their wall? This isnt a doctors office for chrissake. And the diagrams have boxes pointing to them containing 4 straight lines, which are supposed to be words but shit they dont even look close to it. And no way is anyones kneecap THAT big compared to their leg bones. Jeez. F for artwork today.

And in P3 we have Uncle Dickwad on his PC lining up Ricks singing gig in front of millions of YouTube fans. I have a feeling now its not before a game, but somewhere else. Hey, as long as its not on this strip I’m fine with it.