Dang! The Dude’s Actually Good!

P1: I shall not disparage the Elks Club, but I would question taking my date there. Unless that is supposed to be Gil and Mimi, in which case carry on.

P2: This is not original with me but, dang!, creepy uncle sure is a mulleted ringer for Lester Moore.

P3: Mike… doesn’t look too much better in profile than he does head on, does he?

Bonus point: I really, really hope that Rick’s got a cowbell or something and he literally is going ta-tata-ta. Playing with that kind of syncopated feel can be pretty tricky.

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How I wasted my summer, by Jaquan Case.

Well its now all over but the shouting – a few more tosses of the flatbread loaf, and not only does Case talk about the book he isn’t gonna write, but he finally decides that this whole exercise was a waste of time because he announces to Trey (who Did shout) that his future is …. hold it… BASKETBALL. Just like it was when we started this whole pointless plot. Thanks a lot Heather. I have officially rejected both your football knowledge and all your phone calls lining me up to go to college and be a history teacher. Cripes.

Not only that, he wasted Treys time both losing practice time for hoops but making Trey go home and stew at his house.  Only one whose time wasn’t wasted was Gil. He’s over at Milford GC teaching golf as usual.

Boy, its one thing to do a stupid plot for 2 months, its quite another to do the whole thing and then end up in EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE YOU STARTED!!!!

What does Heather do now? Case made her late for fall semester and all he has to say is ‘ Time for basketball.’ !!

Hope they toss all these characters into the pre-season football bonfire.

 

NBA Swingman, History Professor, NFL Wide Receiver, These Are All Merely Branches On The Career Tree.

Josh Fruhlinger had some pretty hilarious commentary on pursuing graduate education in History the other day. I myself hold a degree in history but went to many too many professional graduate schools thereafter. (Like Vaganova and concussions, after your first one or two, you really don’t remember the third and fourth).

I don’t have much to say about today’s strip other than I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow for Jaquan’s next stunning reveal.

Master’s In Inanity

Great! We get to find out about those calls Heather and Jaquan have been making! Heather’s calls have been finding schools where Jaquan can get a Master’s degree while he continues to play basketball. Sheesh, that’s pretty presumptuous on Heather’s part. Seriously, graduate school is not likely to help anybody through an existential crisis.

So, we’ll see what Jaquan’s calls have been about. Is he about to unleash his own unsolicited plan for Heather’s future? He found a college where she can pursue a double major of journalism and coaching football, but she’ll have to pretend to be a guy! Or maybe Jaquan was just making calls on his own behalf, like a believable person would.

 

So Did Heather Just Totally Bail On Freshman Orientation Or What?

P1: Shaq retired in 2011. Just saying.

P2: So, one of the highlights of following my local collegiate basketball team when I was a kid (I am now an old man with kids of my own) is that they beat a visiting LSU team featuring Shaquille O’Neal.  Just saying.

P3: Seriously, we’ve all kind of skirted around this but he is a thirty year old NBA veteran and she is nineteen, maybe eighteen. Not just saying…

Bonus point:

Each panel has a hilarious depiction of a car. I would even argue that panel three is actually showing a golf cart that Gil drove from Milford CC and abandoned at Milford HS.

Or Is the NBA Tired of You?

“Must be nice. When I was 18 I was fending off ‘consulting’ from washed-up 30-year-old hoopsters. At least you might’ve made some money off the deal.”

I really feel like something’s been missing from this whole arc: the arc of Jaquan’s NBA career. We know he had star potential BITD, but is he going from 10-day contract to 10-day contract now?  Do the Sixers Trust the Process enough to not even touch him?

Since when did Heather get a set of delts like Jaquan’s?  They weren’t there yesterday.  Did they pop out when her neck got longer?  Stay on model, Whig!

 

When Your Own Characters Are Calling Out The Plot…

Perhaps it is time to concede that you have lost the thread.

P1: Lest we forget, this brainfart of Jaquan’s just occurred to him the other day or perhaps just earlier in the day.

Also, all hail Trey’s Spatulork resplendent in its oblong glory.

P2: About time someone started talking some sense around here…

P3: That didn’t last long…

Just Who Is Heather Helping?

Here’s an example of why I don’t like the color version of the strip. For comparison:

There’s no universe – not even in Eugene, Oregon – where all the components of a football helmet are monochromatic.  But I nitpick.

The bigger question is the one I alluded to in the post title. Who is Heather really helping here? Who else is coaching Milford’s 7-on-7 team? Sure as hell ain’t Gil or Kaz, and there’s no sign of Tim and Jay Forbes. The only thing she appears to have learned about coaching is how to be pushy, to the point that one of her seven resorts to the tired classic Milfordian catchphrase “Ease up.”

It doesn’t look like pet project Pelwecki has benefited from all of her coaching, either. After last week he must think you need to be at least 6’8″ to catch a pass.  All I can imagine is that everybody involved with Milford football is looking forward to her shipping off to Iowa or wherever.