Color Me Inconsistent

Yesterday and Thursday it was Zane changing outfits from one panel to the next (not to mention Katy’s eyes changing from blue to brown). Before that, it was Mama Brito’s constantly color-changing hair. Today it’s the always-red Mudlarks in black and chartreuse. There’s a lack of institutional control in the Thorpiverse and it’s throwing everyone for a loop. Hell, even Marty’s so pissed that his notebook is bleeding out onto his shirt and he’s karate chopping his pencil. Then again, his sippy cup’s nowhere to be seen so he might just be having a case of the DTs.

The Mudlarks have apparently traveled to Austin, Texas, to face Crockett. (There are no doubt other Crockett Highs; as this one hasn’t been identified by nickname yet, I reserve the right to come back and edit this post.) After his shaky bullpen outing, Zane Clark has somehow earned a right to a start, and he almost immediately goes all Robin Roberts Max Scherzer and gives up a gopher ball. He’s not throwing strikeouts like Mad Max, unfortunately.

Gil and Kaz laugh this off Bull Durham style. Surprised Kaz didn’t make a crack about the ball having a stewardess.

They must figure if Zane digs a hole early, he can’t blow a lead.

Seriously, though. There has got to be someplace that still runs this strip in black and white, doesn’t there?

Very Pointedly Not Looking

Zane Clark’s relief appearance is off to a bad start. He walked Nottingham’s first batter and now he has given up a sharp single to right. The tension is rising in the Milford dugout! Kaz’s sideburn thinks maybe Gil should stroll out to the mound and settle Zane Clark down. Gil’s forehead wrinkles dismiss Kaz’s sideburn’s notion. Gil’s turkey neck adds that Gil is not even going to look in Zane Clark’s direction. It’s way too early in the season to start coaching. Everybody knows that showing up for a game and filling out a lineup card is really the most Gil can expect to contribute. To be fair, and we’re always fair here, Gil could be playing it casually because he doesn’t want to coddle Zane or because he doesn’t want to hit the panic button too soon and rattle Zane. Whatever the case, this game is The Zane Show and we are all along for the ride.

We see that Zane is giving himself his own talking to. Maybe Gil is playing this right. Maybe Zane has a good head on his shoulders and despite his disheveled home life, he has the mental fortitude to pull his own head out of his ass.

Here’s a pointed question for our readership: Do pitchers typically have the index finger sticking out of their glove? I did a quick search and looked at some images, but that was boring. It does look like the artwork has Zane’s index finger sticking out of his glove but the colorist colored over it with the brown of the glove. Maybe I’m just seeing it wrong or maybe Zane has a discolored finger. Maybe it will fall off.

While we’re talking Gil Thorp in color, I’ll report that today’s strip image is from the GoComics site, which has typically always used the non-colored strips, but today surprised dozens of people by using a colored strip. What the hell is going on here?!

Don’t Worry, Luhm, Zane Isn’t Horning In on Your Turf

Okay, so the young lady with the tendrils hanging down isn’t a teacher but a fellow student, Priya (no last name yet), and this isn’t an academic class but a senior class meeting. I don’t recall what gets done in these meetings: cap and gown ordering, picking a class song or theme, deciding who’s “most likely to succeed” or “wittiest” or some other “superlative,” choosing a class trip and a prom theme, etc., usw. Really, just a bunch of stuff to pad your resume when applying to colleges, and there’s always that kid who takes it just a little too seriously and makes it uncomfortable for most everyone else involved. Here, Priya is that kid.

Among the suddenly dumped upon us exposition is that Zane has somehow managed to get himself elected senior class vice president. With everything that’s going on at home it’s hard to imagine how he would’ve run for and, if he won, agreed to serve in that role. Maybe that it serves as another form of therapy is what kept Zane from going all General Sherman on the Milford High Class of 2021.

Obviously Katy Brito doesn’t care if Priya’s nose is out of joint. Nor does Zane for that matter. Only When Abel Brito Charlie Delta sticks his nose in will things get truly snippy.

Newbie trumps vet? Bull.

Just when we thought we were over the Corinna Karenna era in the Thorpoverse, here she comes again, spinning out of the turn….

How the FUCKKKKKK does Gil know who should start on Mimi’s team??? When you’ve been the Starting catcher for 2 years, a position that most players dont want, but the ones that do are worth their weight in gold, — its YOUR job to lose. You dont let some newbie from another school just walk in and take your job.

Then in P2 we have Mimi breaking the news to Brown– and she knows what Mimi will say before she says it. Whaaat?? We have mind readers here? Not only does JB happily agree to the position switch, she already knows Corinna is better then her, without really seeing her play a Game! What does that say about Mimi’s talent evaluation? Hey, I’ve held down this job since I was a Sophomore. How damn good do you have to be in the first place to start on the varsity as a sophomore?? Pretty damn good, my friend. But I’ll gladly turn over the job to basically a rookie at the school and better yet, my fielders glove is in my locker. Wait a minute, how do I have a fielders glove when Ive been catching for 2 years? What kinda shape is that thing in? Probably hard as a rock since its been rotting away since maybe when I was a freshman, and I moonlighted in the outfield. Its gonna need a ton of oil.

Then we have the question of — where will JB play now, and if she starts, who else gets the bad news about a position change? ” Are you kidding? Jocelynn is the best right fielder Ive ever seen! My first basemans mitt is in my locker.”

We just got a pile of fresh manure dumped on us.

And the stench is powerful.

Another Library Monday

The internet outage at the Britos’ is the source of much drama. Mrs. Brito did call about it, so keep your pants on, Abel. It’s going to be a couple days until The Internet Repairman can come out and take a look at the router.

Abel Brito has work to do now, he laments to Mrs. Brito. It’s important internet work and he’s been staring at his screen for hours wondering why it doesn’t work, but he didn’t try to fix it or even seek help from tech support. That’s Mrs. Brito’s domain. Abel sits and scowls.

Mrs. Brito does offer a useful suggestion. Abel should go to the library and use the internet there. Lots of people do this. Lots of people with very important internet work to do go and sit in the library and use publicly funded computers and publicly funded internet to do their important internet work. (The library also strongly suggests you keep your pants on.)

It’s hard to say for sure, but it looks like Abel Brito is using a desktop PC. If he had a laptop, he could go to the Coffee Cantina and use their WiFi. (They are a little looser with their pants policy, or so I’ve heard.)

Congratulations, Debbie

…and we’re moving on.

We open on the lovely porticoed entrance to Milford’s Library where the Library Board is meeting. (The Library Board is comprised of the Library Board, get it? See, the Library Board can both refer to the board as an entity as well as the members of the board collectively. Panel one has a little fun with that. Isn’t that fun? C’mon folks, help me out. I’ve got nothing to work with here. Actually, this is less than nothing, but I digress.)

The Board has just concluded one piece of business (probably a resolution to torch all those little free libraries springing up all over town that are “very bad for business”) and our chair, Linda, is throwing open the floor for other business. Now look at Karen, seated next to Linda. She’s leaning forward because she’s about to launch into one of her frequent interruptions about Linda’s lax adherence to Robert’s Rules of Order and insist on a vote on something or other, but before she can get a word out…

Joe, who has been waiting through numerous boring agenda items that he clearly hasn’t been following, drops a bombshell on the Library Board. Debbie has been offered a great job in Denver…and they’re moving! So suck it, fools. Joe will miss working with the Board but he’s outta heeeeere (like Doug from when the strip was kinda sorta trying to be about sports).

Two Douches and a Four-speed and a 389

What have we learned today, TWIMers?

1. Doug Guthrie’s favorite NASCAR racing family? The Pettys.
2. Vic Doucette was seen by drove a Plymouth Satellite faster than the speed of light.
3. When it comes to teaching your kids how to drive, Doug’s dad got it all wrong. Kid sits on dad’s lap, steers and shifts while dad works the pedals and takes hold of the steering wheel as necessary.
4. Thanks to #3, Gil Thorp is the strip that has come the closest to a depiction of road head since For Better or for Worse introduced the bizarre term “going roadside.”
5. A girl rejecting a guy for his grandpa van? Bad. Said guy catcalling said girl? A-OK!

I guess this wack-ass approach to putting Vic behind the wheel of a cool ride is cheaper than pimping out Vic’s van or fitting hand controls to Doug’s GTO. Style points to Whigham for getting the ’66 Goat interior close to correct, adding a column-mounted tach even if he defaulted to the cliched 8-ball gearshift knob.

Honestly this strip doesn’t feel like any kind of arc-ender, much as we might want it to be. If it is, a metapost might be in order.

meta: Well I’ll be darned; it is the arc-ender. Can you say “anticlimactic”? Sure, I knew you could. The post title is, of course, an homage to the second line of “Little GTO.”

Wrenching to Conclusions

Tonight I feel like the Rolling Stones going on after James Brown and the Famous Flames at The T.A.M.I. Show. Here goes nothing.

Like a well-executed heel-and-toe shift of your favorite manual gearbox, you expected a segue of Quick Vic Doucette coming over to Doug Guthrie to ask for pointers on making time with Tessi Milton. Instead, like the sickening sound of an over-rev and bent pushrods after a missed shift, you got Vic unloading a barrage of automotive references on an only slightly nonplussed Doug. You’d feel dinged up between the ears, too, if your hair kept changing back and forth between blond and brunette at random. (Now I remember why I usually stick to the B&W version of the strip.)

Things only get worse from there. In a tank town like Milford, it doesn’t take much to connect the dots from Tom and Doug being late for practice because Doug got pulled over, to Gil making Tom and Doug run laps for being late for practice, to Tom spraining his knee while running laps for being late for practice, to Doug feeling guilty because if he hadn’t gotten pulled over neither Tom nor he would’ve been late for practice and Gil wouldn’t have made them run laps. If Doug hadn’t mentioned it before now, maybe Tom did. Or maybe Rick Scott. Or maybe it’s just one of those things that leaked out of the locker room, like a bad case of jock itch.

What doesn’t naturally follow is Vic’s assumption that, rather than feeling guilty about Tom’s injury, Doug now fears he too will get injured. Neither does it follow that that fear extends to Doug’s not being able to race his kart. Doug’s blowing off a race for the Oakwood game suggests that karting isn’t gonna be a stepping stone in his career; we’ve never seen mention of any success of his behind the wheel. I now have no idea how Rubin’s gonna tie the Guthrie part of this arc together. I’m just glad we haven’t seen Co-co-rina in this strip since February 9, though I suspect that streak will come to an end soon.