This Week in Milford

August 7, 2017

Too Valuable To Too Many People

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 5:46 am

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Today, we’re digging into the Jaquan Case’s backstory. His basketball talents were so considerable that he was recognized as a commodity and  playing football became a liability. A decision was made for him by whoever was pegging him as a big earner even in high school. It’s possible that the powers at Bishop Tardy  just wanted him healthy for basketball and they made the decision, but that sounds a little implausible. More likely, family members or other “handlers” were looking to cash in on Jaquan’s talent.

Being that Jaquan’s story was just a blip on the radar of Gil Thorp back in the day, I guess now we have nothing better to do than get the details.

I briefly looked into the archives, starting on that momentous basketball game between Bishop Tardy and Milford. There’s one strip that appears right after that game that is just wildly out of context. Jaquan is on a plane with some guy asking him if he’s interesting in skipping college to go straight to the NBA. Was that the last we heard from Jaquan before this current appearance?

August 5, 2017

Return to Janet’s Diner?

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We have left the
Field in Milford
for the diner
Named for Janet
‘Least I think it’s
Janet’s Diner
‘Cause it don’t
Look like The Bucket

Who is in this
Bunch of losers?
Now we’ll learn
Of their backstories
Or as Gilda’s
Baba Wawa
Might say,
“Wet’s wisten in”

Let’s start out with
The big hoopster
He once played
for Bishop Tardy
He’s rehabbing
After knee work
So he’s hooked up
With Eight Elbows

And I think
It kinda odd
That he’s eating
Diner food
And I’m thinking
A pro athlete
Could spring
For healthy grub

He’s working
With Trey Davis
But they keep it
On the down low
Is Trey more
Than just a trainer?
Jaquan said
He was “full-service”

And I’m thinking
Of perversities
That go on
In Trey’s folks’ house
Has he filled it
Full of Muscle Marys?
How I
Wish I had brain bleach

‘Cross from Jaquan
Sits this geezer
All his shirts
Are labeled “Monmouth”
He’s indulging
Daughter Heather
But he
Sucks at throwing footballs

And I couldn’t
Help but notice
That Heather’s now stuck
In the corner
How did this
Turn into mansplaining?
How did
This go so wrong?

What about
The kid Pelwecki?
Oh, I didn’t
see him still here
Do you think
He’ll play at fullback?
Only if Gil’s
Passed out drunk…

And if all the rest are hurt…
And if Milford’s out
Of the playdown hunt…

To the Milford Country Club
Let’s watch Gil berate some kids

August 4, 2017

Um, who’s trying to make the football team?

Filed under: big arms, football, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 5:28 pm

 

 

 

Nothing like teaching someone a skill and then having some dude who isnt there for that purpose steal the show and waste your valuable practice time by showing off how he can perform what you’re teaching to someone else, who is the one who needs the practice.

 

I thought Heather was gonna bang her head on the goalpost she was so excited. After the group gathers and Trey expresses his natural concern that Mister “I can still play pro ball but cant decide which league” will get injured demonstrating an unnecessary skill (for him)  to a mope whose ego cant be satisfied til he gets the glory heaped on the skill-position players, unaware that the real heros in football are the linemen, the gruntwork guys who open the holes and block so the ego maniacs can strut their stuff on Friday nights.

P3 is a real bro-hug, but Trey looks a bit uncomfortable, no?

August 3, 2017

Kevin Pelwecki, Blank Canvas

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As predicted, Heather has turned Pelwecki into Tom Sawyer’s picket fence: a blank canvas onto which everyone involved can project some aspect of their personality.

Heather can indulge her little coaching fantasy, except for that part where fullbacks have to block. That was never her strong suit and besides, Kevin is a guard so he should already know how to do that, amirite?

Pop Burns can indulge his Uncle Rico QB fantasy, and I expect he’ll be telling us how he coulda been a contender at some point.

Jaquan can make this into a first step toward reinventing himself as Antonio Gates.  After all, he’s not entirely confident he can rehab himself back into the NBA.

Eight Elbows, well, he can make some bucks off the whole scheme.

 

August 2, 2017

Pretty Sure They Could Have Worked Something Into Panel Two About Not Waiting For The Ball…

Filed under: big arms, Boredom in Milford, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 6:27 am

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P1: Don’t Wait For The Ball.

P2: For our members of the audience suffering from Memento disease.

P3: Don’t Wait For The Ball.

August 1, 2017

The Longest Drill

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, freak hands, general nonsense, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 7:34 am

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Has it really only been two weeks since we started this scene? In that time, we’ve been reintroduced to two old characters and…

P1: I think Kevin is starting to internalize all of the abuse he’s constantly receiving. Heather’s dad doesn’t need to puff his chest out that much. If he really wants to intimidate the Secret Pelwecki, all he needs to do is…

P2: AAAAUUUUIGGGHHHGGHHhh!!!!1!!! What is that… that… thing on her shoulder??

P3: Why is she telling him good effort? He appears to have caught the rugby ball.

July 31, 2017

Ingrain It

Filed under: general nonsense — nedryerson @ 5:41 am

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Looks like we’re back around to showing the track/football field workouts of Davis, Case, Pelwecki and Burns. I’m glad that Milford keeps its fields open and available for any randos that need a place to work out during the summer. There’s probably a couple of old guys too cheap to pay a driving range fee working on their golf swings off panel. Maybe a guy who wants to train his dog in frisbee catching is nearby. Several drone pilots are working on their craft as well. Hot damn, summer in a tank town. Badminton, anyone?

July 29, 2017

Eight Elbows to Hold You

July 28, 2017

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Now it’s Trey’s turn to fill in his backstory. We know he went to the College of Charleston (where Hofstra is a conference rival; thanks for the refresher, billytheskink!) but not if he went straight from there to playing pro ball in the Europe. I’m guessing he got the finance degree while playing college ball, because there’s no way a Gil Thorp-coached player has the skills (maybe the raw talent, but not the skills) to jump straight from Milford to any professional level, much less to be able to…

July 29, 2017

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… “[coach] kids to play above their talent level. Don’t get any ideas about hornin’ in on my biz, Coach Thorp. It’s not like you know how to do that, anyway.” Looking at Trey from behind in P2, do you wonder if he’s been moonlighting as they mysterious Milford Fist Pump Man for the past few years?

We still don’t know what Jaquan’s been doing since UVa, but whatever it is it’s put him in need of rehab (not the Tina Aagard kind) and back in touch with Mister Eight Elbows himself. Since we’ve been wont to look back in history with this arc, here’s a shot of Trey roughing up Jaquan in the gym BITD:

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