This Week in Milford

October 7, 2017

Rick, You’re No Ingrid Bergman

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Lens Flare, Milford Weirdos, The Bucket — teenchy @ 1:03 pm

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For that matter, neither is your mom, and Uncle Gary sure as hell is no Charles Boyer. Yet that’s how Rubin has chosen to address the serious up-to-the-minute issue of concussions in football: by lifting the plot of the famous 1944 thriller that lent its name to the behavior Boyer displayed. Gaslighting has been charged many times this year in reference to the current US political climate, and that’s all I have to say about that. It’ll be on Turner Classic Movies next Sunday morning, so you insomniacs can check it then and see if we’re still tracking the plot. I guess this will make Gil Joseph Cotten, but if that makes Kaz Angela Lansbury I’m all for it.

Kudos to Connie Soto for driving a four-door sedan, especially since driving a Jeep Compass or pickup at night in Milford has had some unpleasant consequences. I think she has more to worry about than Rick’s cloudy eyes, like her severed left hand that still grips the steering wheel.  Hmm, bad paper cut?

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October 6, 2017

Cloudy eyes

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:59 pm

Have at it boys – had a long day and watched the Cubs knock off the Nats who only know one way to play in the postseason-  not well.

October 5, 2017

Soto’s Escort Service

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Three days to finish one play, and the first game will be finished by the end of the first week of October. Something tells me at least three games will be told and not shown in a single strip in about a week or two. Rick Soto’s exploding head tips us to his imminent concussion, so while we’re waiting for that reveal let’s focus on the little details:

(1) Whigham’s shout-out to his mom via Milford’s and Oakwood’s glow-in-the-dark helmet decals, ’cause working it into a shirt collar like they did at Wendy’s just isn’t as dramatic.

(b) Again with the confusing numbers: Filllllllllion has been shown as #9 to date but the guy carrying the big croissant behind Soto is wearing a double-digit number. The Oakwood player Soto’s blocking is pretty big to be wearing #14, don’tchathink? Maybe he’s a former lineman who wants to be a ball carrier, too. Maybe he’s the son of The Battleship Lorenzen.

(iii) Marty’s scar face is particularly nightmare-inducing today. The dried hooch crust in his beard is a nice touch, as are the slats in the lid of his crate. At least he trims his nose hair.

October 4, 2017

Open A Hole And/Or Go Over The Top!

Filed under: actual action, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, football, Highlight reel — timbuys @ 10:14 am

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I infer from Nick’s acrobatics that, although Kevin tried to open a hole, he’s worn out from that carry for three yards and a cloud of dust and is no longer able to block effectively. Well done, Gil.

This, however, is immaterial as Nick is the real decoy. Indeed, it’s looking grim for Oakwood as, not only were they focused on the secret Pelwecki, now they are eyeball explodingly shocked by this additional dissimulation. Well done, Gil.

October 3, 2017

Watch 55!

Filed under: actual action, Fontastic, football, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 6:56 am

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Panel 1: I thought Fillion was supposed to be small. He’s taller than Gil.

Panel 2: Wanna bet that this mistaken Oakwood player is their local equivalent to the obnoxious/precocious Milfordian adolescent?

Panel 3: Either Nick Hawker is carrying a grapefruit or Milford is passing the ball.

Minus points: Yesterday.

October 2, 2017

It’s All On The Ground!

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 6:19 am

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The color edition of today’s strip indicates that we’re playing the opener on a beautiful summer day. Is that just a coloring issue? We will find out if the spaceship with the blinding lights lands on the field later on. If it’s daytime, maybe the bonfire will be after the game.

On the field, we find that Kevin Pelwecki picked up a first down and then displayed that patented Pelwecki versatility by going right back to the line to block on a sweep play. We could talk about Kevin’s blocking in panel 2, I guess. Hands outside the shoulders is problematic, but #28 seems to be giving ground and clearly got beat to the spot.

Marty is already in midseason form. His goatee is nicely trimmed and he’s got exclamation points at the ready.

I love those single fans with raised arms, as seen in the periphery of panel 3. That guy is a huge fan of the ground game and he wants everybody to know it.

September 30, 2017

Before the Concussion Protocol, the Tackle-Eligible Protocol

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If you watched last Thursday night’s Packers-Bears game you no doubt saw one of the  dirtiest hits in recent memory. Even if you disagree with that assessment Danny Trevathan’s hit on Davante Adams did not separate Adams’ head from his body, as Oakwood #24’s head appears to have been done by his own teammate. I reckon if I my head separated from my body I’d stiffen eventually, too. Gil’s left palm has also stiffened as he shouts out instructions to his team and introduces us to another of his players. The backup guard may be named for a character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any number of people but is not a member of Split Enz or Crowded House. You’d think he might not want Oakwood to hear that, wouldn’t you?

Downpuppy, you called it! Three yards and a cloud of hair grease as The No Longer So Secret Pelwecki pounds it up the middle.  But wait: wasn’t Pelwecki wearing #11 in practice just a few days ago? Gil should know that players with uniform numbers between 50 and 79 are ineligible receivers in US high school football. They can, however, run or pass the ball so Pelwecki’s okay wearing the same #55 he wore last season (yay continuity!), at least on this play. Will Gil’s brand of smashmouth football win the game and send his players home? And will any of them get a concussion in the process? Stay tuned!

September 29, 2017

Uh Gil, you’re already at home

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:01 pm

Gil gives an impassioned speech intended to fire up the line so they can block Oakwoods defense and run the ball down their throats for the win. If only it was that simple.

If they score they still have to play defense, which may require another short pep talk. Also, what took so long for Gil to figure out how to win this game? Where was all this coaching before?
And being tougher then the guy across from you means dipshit if you dont have strength and technique.

Panel 3 has one play, a gain of seven yards. Good start, but how many more panels do we need for this game to end? October is Sunday. My area teams are in Week 6 tonight. One stinkin game all of September, mostly because we were still dickin around with Chief Jaquan Case and his merry men and woman.

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