This Week in Milford

July 17, 2017

Fullbacking For Dummies

Filed under: football, What the hell is going on here? — nedryerson @ 5:42 am


Okay. Maybe we’re done with baseball? At least, for today, we’re talking about football. At least we’re preparing for football. Somebody is preparing for football. Is it Heather Burns and The Secret Pelwecki? Heather tried to coach Pelwecki into a QB last year. Maybe he’s got different ambitions this year. Was Pelwecki bigger than 220? Maybe it’s a new project for Heather. Maybe these are two other people with hair of similar configuration.

All those questions may or may not be answered in the coming days. But who are these two tall men? Is one of the crushing on maybe Heather Burns? If we’re repeating Heather coaching Kevin from last Fall, why not revisit the stupid who’s crushing on who from Spring (liberally defined to include July)? “Crushing on”….ick.

ETA: Observant commenter Downpuppy just pointed out that the Pelwecki at fullback scheme was revealed at the conclusion of last years fall plot. Thanks Downpuppy.


May 4, 2017

Aw, Bucket! Let’s Regroup

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, The Bucket — teenchy @ 6:55 am


The sign says what Van Auken thinks. Oh wait – maybe it’s for The Bucket. This is a Milford home game (and a G-rated comic strip) after all.

So has C.B. Bucknor finally been assigned to games on his umpiring level?  To be fair I can see how the pitch may not have actually been a strike.  Granger’s white catcher’s mitt makes for a difficult target. (C’mon, color monkeys, if you’re gonna color the gloves, color ’em all!)  The batter, the catcher, the ball, and the base line all seem to be drawn in different planes and our POV doesn’t give us any clue as to where the corner actually is.

Artwork aside, suffice it to say that many umps would toss a pitcher after making a pissy expression like ‘Cane did.  Case in point (one of many):

Maybe Van Auken gets off with a warning this time, but I guarantee that by game’s end he’ll have acted pissy again and gotten ejected. In the Thorpiverse, that leads to an immediate benching for the next game by Gil – a game in which, inevitably, the Mudlarks will lose because of the benched player being unavailable.  Gil will probably make Bader or Pelwecki pitch in relief and get shelled, then lay a guilt trip on Van Auken.

All this could be avoided if Granger calls Ken Brown over from first for a conference. The three of them could discuss finding another family to break up and the lousy strike zone would be forgotten.

December 9, 2016

Next plane to Iowa now boarding

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:33 pm

I know when I was a senior in high school, not only did I not give a rats f**k what anybody that was Still There next year would be doing, I certainly wasnt Telling them what position to play on the football team! But here we are…

Pelwecki looks like he cant believe a senior is predicting that he should give up on his dream of being a QB and settle for the dirty work of FB, a position that is almost extinct in the NFL, and depending on the style of offense used in the many high schools, perhaps is a non-active role, but certainly can be useful given certain circumstances. In other words, there’s hope for him yet. Hey, he’s even gonna score touchdowns. Even though he has a coach that doesnt coach blockers to block so he can get thru the line etc..

I think Heather’s gone far far beyond her boundaries in this storyline; remember when she was a bored soccer player? She’s getting like a piece of clay, molded into whatever the day calls for. Trainer, check. QB coach, check. New TE? Check. OC? Check. Dont tell me Gil’s already planning next years offense when he couldnt be bothered to train enough tight ends to get thru half a season. Who else can play fullback besides a guy who wont be a lineman next year?  And who will replace Kevin on that line? Your move Gil. And he’ll still be jonesing to play QB.



December 3, 2016

Take That, Jerks!

Filed under: actual action, football — nedryerson @ 9:28 am


The Secret Pelwecki sniffed out the screen. We can’t see the whole formation, but we’ll presume that there were some Valley Techsters in place over there somewhere to block for the receiver. Like Austin Shuford, The Secret Pelwecki can make magic happen and he just juked his way into the backfield. We get it. Heather Burns strategies imbue the Mudlarks with otherworldly gifts. This is our story.


November 28, 2016

What’s The Big Idea?

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:28 am


Remember how we haven’t seen The Secret Pelwecki in ages? Well, there he is on the way to Valley Tech. He must play a role in Heather’s idea. I hope it’s a good idea. Gil and Kaz can’t generate ideas themselves.

November 10, 2016

Undersized Hog

Filed under: actual action, football, Steve Boone — nedryerson @ 7:35 am


Check it out, it’s Steve Boone, Milford’s line coach making his second appearance this fall. He was yelling at sloppy hogs a few weeks ago when we thought The Secret Pelwecki was going to be all the rage. Now that we’re embroiled in the adventures of H.E. Burns, all catch/no block TE, it is great timing that Steve makes another appearance. Steve is a voice of reason within the Milford coaching brain trust. What are we doing with this undersized TE who can’t support our ground game, Steve asks. We’re right there with you, buddy.

October 28, 2016

Tight end time

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 5:57 pm

As I prepare to watch the Cubs take the field at Wrigley for the World Series for the first time in my life, (yes, I’m still alive to see it!) Heather Burns is added to the boys football roster. Oh yeah, just sign the permission slip Dad! Who cares if I get a concussion, or worse, break my neck and spend the rest of my days in a wheelchair just so the dimwit Pelwecki can be 5th string QB and maybe throw me a pass in a real game, dammit. I know he’s a loser but I had to appeal to his inner Johnny Unitas, a guy who didnt even get drafted and wound up in the Hall of Fame. (My dad attended his first game, against the Bears at, yes, Wrigley Field. His first pass was intercepted for a touchdown and my dad told me he thought this guy was a washout after that game. Time proved much different.) We dont see if Milford is playing defense in this practice, but when the real game begins, and she gets knocked on her ass a few times by a real opponent, she may wish she was back on the pitch playing soccer, and moonlighting as a trainer on her off days.



October 27, 2016

Playing Around with Kaz and Dad

Filed under: Coach Kaz, exposition comics, football, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — teenchy @ 4:35 am


More exposition (and a whole bunch of double entendres) implying that Daddy Burns has been teaching Heather to catch as well as throw.  I agree with the TWIM hive mind that if the Mudlark braintrust is considering her as TE Pete DeWindt’s replacement they should be finding out if she can block as well. As has also been postulated, maybe Gil will introduce the spread. Can Hakeem or The Secret Pelwecki execute the Mouse Davis run and shoot?

There’s a possible backstory to this father/daughter relationship (besides the usual sports parent living vicariously through his children angle we’re treated to in this strip) that merits exploring but I doubt we’ll get much of it. Instead I’m going to focus on the little things in today’s installment:

1) Our beloved Prairie Style Windows make an appearance in P1, but the oddly proportioned football has my attention. Doesn’t it look like it’s made of milk chocolate and wrapped in tinfoil?

b) Damn them’s some big apples in the Burns kitchen. What kind do you reckon they are?

iii) I’m getting a bit of an Uncle Charley vibe from Daddy Burns in P3. You?

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