This Week in Milford

October 28, 2017

The Mudlarks Won’t Play on Astroturf

Filed under: Dr. Pearl, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces — teenchy @ 10:52 am


Nope nope no nuh-uh. Not if ol’ Gildeaux has his way. Five emails from Uncle Gary’s spoof email accounts aren’t gonna convince him in the least. Kudos to Gil for not giving in to the Astroturfing. Players – especially skilled players – will be at a premium over the next couple of weeks as Gil introduces a totally new offensive scheme that promises to expose his ballcarriers to significant injury. Fifth-string QB Pelwecki might finally get his chance to go under center after all.

An obvious response from Gil, absent from this convo: “Because he hasn’t asked me to.” Maybe he’s saving that for Monday.


October 23, 2017

You Pulled Me Out Of Class For This?

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 3:24 am


It looks like Gil is overhauling his offense now that he’s gotten around to evaluating the skills of his team. He’s installing The Veer. Like the installation of the Wing-T from several years ago, this is Coach Thorp at his innovative best. On paper, at least, or on that tiny laptop, this is a can’t miss plan. A couple of games into the season is a great time to start plugging in new schemes.

Rick Soto is definitely jazzed about the Veer. It’s so cool! I’m sure Uncle Gary is googling “the veer and concussions”.

Metapost: I had told Ed after I didnt have time to do the post Friday that I’ll do Monday, and its up, but I have some thoughts: (Sorry Ned)

Here we are 3 days after my alma mater went 0-9 for the first time in school history, so the seasons OVA, I’m reading the playoff pairings in the paper today, and what do I see but Gil is putting in a new offense NOW??? What the fuck did he do all summer besides sit on the sidelines and watch Jaquan Case take up his freakin field for 2 months to practice catching passes from a Girl, and then decide to pursue hoops?? Where the hell was all this shit in July and August?? THERE”S YOUR SUMMER STORYLINE DAMMIT!

We couldve watched the progression of the offense learning a system that I actually like, as its a read-option attack that doesnt have to conform to the defense but rather adjusts on the fly to what the D shows them. Run well with the right personnel, it not only will gain yards but chew up the clock for a team that (apparantly) has a weak defense, keeping them off the field.

Now we’re gonna watch the team learn on the fly, as usual, and take its lumps while they do it, and maybe by the end of the season in December they’ll be halfway competent. As long as they dont use Butterfingers Pelwecki at QB.

Oh by the way, whats Kevin gonna play now? Before he was switching from lineman to fullback mid-game. Heck, mid-drive.

And Hey Gil, what about the defense? Any massive changes? How about the 46, popularized by Buddy Ryan and the Bears in the 80’s. Why not overhaul both sides of the ball; of course after you lose 31-7 you fix the offense. Makes perfect sense. Now.


October 21, 2017

They’ve Got Prairie Style Windows in Omaha, Too?

October 20, 2017


I got the spirit (Hey!)

It’s in my locker (Hey!)

A bottle of vodka (Hey!)

And if we win (Hey!)

We get some gin (Hey!)

And if we lose (What?)

We get no booze (Aww!)

And if we tie… (Yeah?)

We still get high! (Woo!)

— an actual chant by teenchy’s high school football team, long ago and far away

Uncle Gary just doesn’t get it. Win or lose, shared goals and camaraderie are two important lessons that can be learned from playing team sports.  In recognizing that, the teenaged Rick Soto shows himself to be far more mentally mature than his cardboard cutout shyster of an uncle. We haven’t seen team player behavior like that from a Milford athlete since True Standish, The Golden Child, let Jarrod Hale score the winning touchdown in the state championship game. So ease up, Uncle Gary; Rick might just be lining up his future roadies for when he hits it big on the Midwestern fraternal organization open mike night tour. He hasn’t even been concussed yet.  That dubious honor looks like it might fall to…

October 21, 2017


… Mike “Don’t call Me Castle” Fillllllllllllion. Well here’s a surprise – a strip featuring neither Rick Soto nor Uncle Gary but Gil flexing his old school jockocrat muscles (and his right arm with two elbows) by pulling his QB out of this unknown teacher’s class.  I can see Filion’s eyes clouding up already – oh, wait, they’re just exploding.  Making a kid nervous by yanking him out of class then telling him to relax is just the kind of mind game you’d expect from a coach whose one trick on the season is putting a linebacker in at fullback. Wonder if Gil’s gonna tell Mike that Pelwecki’s getting some reps under center next week?

October 12, 2017

The Best Singer (Or So We’re Told)


So this is the song Rick Soto purportedly just sang*. I’m sure today’s strip just gave it dozens more hits on YouTube.

In true Rubin fashion we never get to read the lyrics coming from Rick’s mouth. Another tease, just like the tease that we may finally know the lyrics to Milford High’s fight song (and there were some good stabs at it in yesterday’s comments). Just another reminder of the weird pacing of this strip, in which the Mudlarks have played one game while high schools in the real world have mostly played at least six or seven.

In true Whigham fashion we get a Milford girl festooned with chunky bracelets and big earrings in the way no teenage girl accessorizes today. We also get Rick’s unnaturally flat palms facing the speaker in best back off ease up fashion, another Whigham hallmark. Finally, from the Pantheon of Hair Department it’s sideburns: Rick’s oddly shaggy ones and Pelwecki’s greasy strands that threaten to clump together as sideburns.

Wait – did someone mention the dozens? Maybe it’s time for a game.

“Pelwecki’s hair is so greasy, he could fry chicken in it.”

“Uncle Gary’s such a crap lawyer he’s trying to hitch a ride on his nephew’s back as an agent.”

*Were you as disappointed as I was that it wasn’t a George Harrison cover? If so, this should help you get over it.

October 4, 2017

Open A Hole And/Or Go Over The Top!

Filed under: actual action, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, football, Highlight reel — timbuys @ 10:14 am


I infer from Nick’s acrobatics that, although Kevin tried to open a hole, he’s worn out from that carry for three yards and a cloud of dust and is no longer able to block effectively. Well done, Gil.

This, however, is immaterial as Nick is the real decoy. Indeed, it’s looking grim for Oakwood as, not only were they focused on the secret Pelwecki, now they are eyeball explodingly shocked by this additional dissimulation. Well done, Gil.

October 2, 2017

It’s All On The Ground!

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 6:19 am


The color edition of today’s strip indicates that we’re playing the opener on a beautiful summer day. Is that just a coloring issue? We will find out if the spaceship with the blinding lights lands on the field later on. If it’s daytime, maybe the bonfire will be after the game.

On the field, we find that Kevin Pelwecki picked up a first down and then displayed that patented Pelwecki versatility by going right back to the line to block on a sweep play. We could talk about Kevin’s blocking in panel 2, I guess. Hands outside the shoulders is problematic, but #28 seems to be giving ground and clearly got beat to the spot.

Marty is already in midseason form. His goatee is nicely trimmed and he’s got exclamation points at the ready.

I love those single fans with raised arms, as seen in the periphery of panel 3. That guy is a huge fan of the ground game and he wants everybody to know it.

September 30, 2017

Before the Concussion Protocol, the Tackle-Eligible Protocol


If you watched last Thursday night’s Packers-Bears game you no doubt saw one of the  dirtiest hits in recent memory. Even if you disagree with that assessment Danny Trevathan’s hit on Davante Adams did not separate Adams’ head from his body, as Oakwood #24’s head appears to have been done by his own teammate. I reckon if I my head separated from my body I’d stiffen eventually, too. Gil’s left palm has also stiffened as he shouts out instructions to his team and introduces us to another of his players. The backup guard may be named for a character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any number of people but is not a member of Split Enz or Crowded House. You’d think he might not want Oakwood to hear that, wouldn’t you?

Downpuppy, you called it! Three yards and a cloud of hair grease as The No Longer So Secret Pelwecki pounds it up the middle.  But wait: wasn’t Pelwecki wearing #11 in practice just a few days ago? Gil should know that players with uniform numbers between 50 and 79 are ineligible receivers in US high school football. They can, however, run or pass the ball so Pelwecki’s okay wearing the same #55 he wore last season (yay continuity!), at least on this play. Will Gil’s brand of smashmouth football win the game and send his players home? And will any of them get a concussion in the process? Stay tuned!

September 25, 2017

The Real Deal!

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:00 am


P1: Scrapper Fillion is working on an interesting release. That’s probably not the kind of work the passing game needs. Pelwecki’s been drilling all summer on catching the ball. Maybe he could get in on this. Oh yeah, Gil thinks fullbacks are horseshit.

P2: Uncle Gary continues to play impresario to the reputedly talented Rick Soto. He believes wholeheartedly that Rick’s got the goods. He even called Jackie! Jackie! Can you believe it?! Uncle Gary called Jackie. It’s on now. Wait until Jackie shows up and hears what Rick can do. This will be epic.

P3: The opening game is drawing near. LT Rick Soto is excited. He’s gonna be protecting the scrappy QB. Mom is whipping up something mushy…..aaaand it’s time to squeeze in one more plot point. Dad can’t be here. Why not? Is it important or did he just have a business trip that he couldn’t reschedule? Will this matter? Maybe we’ll find out or maybe we’ll still be wondering about it in months. This is Gil Thorp. We’re pretty used to this stuff.

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