This Week in Milford

December 22, 2014

There’s Never Enough Bacon

Filed under: basketball, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 4:46 am


Maxwell Bacon (a name which has surely been used on the State Fair Pig Racing Circuit) shines in practice, but Gil and Kaz are underwhelmed by their overall roster. There is no size on this squad. Gil has already dismissed True Standish’s basketball overture. Will he rethink it? Will he chase Omari Troy down the hall and ask him to rethink his decision to back out of basketball? Those options sound like work (and also require that Gil relinquish the moral high ground). Tradition dictates that Gil will stand pat and wait for something random and improbable to either improve his squad or at least distract us from his pee wee squad’s dismal prospects (unless there is a basketball version of the Wing T).



  1. There is a basketball version of the Wing T; it’s called the Princeton Offense. Methinks Gil will be name-dropping Pete Carril before very long.

    Comment by teenchy — December 22, 2014 @ 5:21 am

  2. I foresee a tall, skinny center showing up – or John Pascoe joins the team. Then Milford becomes the fast, outside shooting team. Of course, Bobby will figure this out and Gil will go along with it. Maybe Steve Lumm, janitor extraordinaire, will show up again as well.

    And since we haven’t seen the girls lately, a Mimi basketball story seems logical this year. Maybe the girls will have a big, bruising team and humiliate the smaller boys – until they all come together in peace and with school spirit.

    Speaking of peace, et al, will the annual Gildo holiday greeting strip show up on the 25th? Anyone want to bet on who’s in it? I’m pretty sure the kids won’t be! Will Kaz and Kelly be there?

    Comment by Milfordian — December 22, 2014 @ 6:07 am

  3. The scrawny kid will surely take a beating according to Gil. Will Gil make him sit out half way through the season since he’s not alowing True to play because of the beating he took during football season? What a hypocrite! Gil will be as wasted as Mr Gower from Its a Wonderful Life come Dec 25.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 22, 2014 @ 9:52 am

  4. Just what kind of alternative universe is Milford anyway? Here in my world, we always put the well-being of the child above any athletic demands or expectations. Allow me to quote from the official pediatric BMI calculator provided by our benevolent government:

    “Based on the height and weight entered, the BMI is 22.3, placing the BMI-for-age at the 71st percentile for boys aged 16 years 0 months. This child has a healthy weight.

    Comment by g2design — December 22, 2014 @ 10:06 am

  5. g2design, that was my hipshot reaction, that 5-11, 160 is not scrawny by any means, but is in fact a pretty typical size for a successful small town high school player. Maybe not at Boys and GIrls over in Brooklyn, where you have a thousand students per grade and can assemble a team with the size of a small college squad, but at little Mfnrd it’s hardly deficient.

    It may be the influence of a two season story about a recruiting non-scandal and the mention of Wynn Wiley, but I am suddenly wondering– and hoping against– some sort of rumpus involving St Feeb’s. Wouldn’t we love that, another season of Wynn Wanker acting out his neurotic obsession with his sister?

    Comment by vaganova — December 22, 2014 @ 7:54 pm

  6. […] maybe that’s no surprise as Kenzie has been ID’d at 6’0″ while Max was 5’11” a year ago. Never […]

    Pingback by They’re Called “Placebos” | This Week in Milford — January 28, 2016 @ 5:38 am

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