This Week in Milford

May 11, 2017

Shakes, the Clown


So Jimmy Caruso has eyes on Dafne Dafonte and Carrie Hobson has eyes on Rex Hudler Hurdler Gary Meola, who doesn’t have eyes on her but is gonna pretend to have eyes on her to help Caruso out in true wingman fashion, or something like that.  If we didn’t have all that exposition leading up to today, we might be led to believe that Dafne and Carrie only have eyes for each other.  Dafne has already made her disdain for track and field well known, so why is she going along with this ruse?  To play wingwoman for Carrie, of course, and to mooch a free post-game milkshake off Caruso at The Bucket.

Ah, post-game milkshakes at The Bucket: not just for no-hitter batteries anymore! Then again, were they ever? Considering the last time that happened one of the batterymates got killed, I doubt that’s a tradition that will be revived in Milford anytime soon.  Gotta find the silver linings in the cloud that hovers over Milford softball in the post-Boo Radley era where you can, and if they come in the form of budding romance I guess that’ll have to do.


  1. I do believe that’s Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso.

    BTW, Shakes the Clown has been called the Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies.

    Comment by nedryerson — May 11, 2017 @ 8:08 am

  2. The home plate-shaped table at the Bucket is reserved for milkshake imbibing Mudlark baseball and softball players, I reckon.

    Comment by billytheskink — May 11, 2017 @ 11:28 am

  3. billy is right. Notice that the edges of the table align with the back of the booth about as well as a Mfnrd home plate does with the foul lines.

    Comment by vaganova's geometry teacher — May 11, 2017 @ 11:41 am

  4. A close loss for Milford, and a close save, as Gary Meola and Jimmy Caruso get there in the nick of time to stop Dafne from strangling Carrie.

    Comment by drewfunk — May 11, 2017 @ 1:33 pm

  5. OK, Carrie has set her sails for Gary Meola, but since Daffy Dafonte keeps reappearing and promises to remain a central character, I am thinking “shot putter Jimmy” Caruso will outshine Meola (why do three central characters all have Italian surnames?) And I’m wondering what Daffy’s main scoop for the season will be (Casper Heenan was a clay pigeon, included simply to establish that Daffy is a real journalist.)

    Comment by vaganova's geometry teacher — May 11, 2017 @ 1:53 pm

  6. I’m really not seeing the smiles in panel three. Carrie seems to be absolutely glowering at her shake.

    Comment by timbuys — May 11, 2017 @ 3:42 pm

  7. They’re all happy for their own reasons

    Carrie is using her psychic powerz to bend Gary to her will.
    Dafne is secure tn her superior haircut.
    Gary is happy to have grown 8 inches without turning into Aardvark
    Frottage is enough for Jiimy

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — May 11, 2017 @ 5:13 pm

  8. I still don’t know who is who. When will Marty and Casper collaborate ?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — May 11, 2017 @ 6:55 pm

  9. I liked the observations on the table in P3. Take your average high school geometry class, skim through the first, oh, 20 pages of your average geometry textbook until you get to the section on polygons and THAT’S the shape you’re looking at. And it’s hard for me to imagine a corner booth at a Denny’s or a Frisch’s Big Boy with a table containing a couple of obtuse angles, not to mention a set-up in proving triangles within the table congruent, using, say, the Angle-Side-Angle theorem. Yeah, corresponding parts of Denny’s tables are congruent. I’ll get an A and still enjoy the Bacon-and-Eggs(sunny side up) Combo.
    And what the Hell are Bob & Ted doing in the dugout so soon after the game with Carol & Alice??? Mimi’s that loose with fraternization, especially after a loss? Are Bob & Ted going to give the post-game lecture too?
    “A couple of errors killed us. We also need to hunker down at the plate. Now let’s go get a burger and a shake before The Bucket closes.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — May 11, 2017 @ 7:05 pm

  10. Try putting a tablecloth on that thing in P3. There might be a pentagonal/home-plate(depending on the angle you’re perceiving it) specimen sold at a reasonable cost at a rare antique store in some quaint town which one of our Signers of the Declaration of Independence owned while debating the merits of going to war with Britain. And embroidering this work of art would require needles, straightedge, and a compass. Thank God Betsy Ross never got wind of this pattern.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — May 11, 2017 @ 9:13 pm

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