This Week in Milford

September 1, 2021

Kianna Bello? Che bella!

The Chief starts us off today with a little fanservice in the form of a gymnast in a crop top holding a hose. Phwoar!

Kiana Prince-Bello has an Insta. Kiana Bello has a rag. Whigrub taking no chances with the readership by spelling “chamois” phonetically.

To borrow a trope from my colleague tdrew:

Gene Rayburn: “Kiana Bello is so tall…”

Match Game audience: “HOW TALL IS SHE?”

Gene Rayburn: Kiana Bello is so tall, she’s at eye level with the roof of an SUV.”

Seriously, does this look like the body of a gymnast? It’s certainly not the body of a libero. We’re expected to believe she’s competitive in both sports? The safe money says she drops gymnastics for volleyball since the latter is a Milford team sport and everything takes a backseat to Mudlark sportsball. Gymnastics hasn’t been a thing in the Thorpiverse since the days of Milford Airborne and another Thorp. Both Keri and Airborne have been banished to the retcon dustbin, so expect the same fate to befall the Flipstars.

Oh, yeah, and Tevin is a horndog. But you already knew that.


  1. Day 2 of the exciting car wash event! Only 5 more days of this to go….

    Comment by franku2016 — September 1, 2021 @ 11:44 am

  2. OK, it’s Wednesday and we’ve got to the chamoys, so we have two more days to fill out this latter day Saga um þrif Körfunnar, the little known Icelandic tale from the Settlement Days, about the feud between Thorfinn Haraldsson and Freydis Eiriksdottir, triggered by their son’s failure to clean the mud from his parents’ cart. The parents took sides, and then– ah, well– it got ugly. I say “two days” because a premonition is tickling me about Saturday– I anticipate something truly memorable, but… naah. Maybe we will by then settle the ambiguity of panel 2. Is Tevin talking through a closed window, or is Kianna about to suds him in the face?

    Comment by vaganova — September 1, 2021 @ 1:30 pm

  3. Yeah, I’m 6’4″ and that’s about how I look next to an SUV. So she is one big ass gymnast!

    Comment by MopMan — September 1, 2021 @ 2:39 pm

  4. The girl in panel one looks a lot like the cover girl from National Lampoon’s famous ‘adolescence” issue, the cover with the teenage girl offering the viewer a cherry.
    (Had to track that one down for the readership, Moon! – t)

    Comment by Moon Mullins — September 1, 2021 @ 2:59 pm

  5. Is dude going to try and hit it, or is he content to just continue his contrived PG-13 flirting??

    It’s weird that for all the time we spent on volleyball last year, I don’t recall this Bello girlie at all, and Peppermint Patty didn’t once mention her name… But maybe she can remind us once again what a “libero” does?

    Comment by Hitorque — September 1, 2021 @ 3:59 pm

  6. hitorque, “libero” is a borrowing from the Italian revamping of soccer around 1960. Earlier versions of the game involved more attackers than defenders and were more high scoring than today’s game. There were usually two, sometimes three, full time defenders, compared to four today, with a fifth player, a defensive midfielder, often involved in today’s game. The libero is one of two central defenders. The other, the contennachio (door bolt) is known in the English speaking world as the stopper, who is assigned to mark the opponent’s most dangerous attacker. The libero, or “libero de marcador,” or sweeper, is free of man to man defensive responsibilities. He goes where he is needed, and manages the transition game. The stopper attacks the ball, and the sweeper, or libero, distributes the ball forward to begin the counterattack. An English coach describes the ideal football team as consisting of “four concert violinists and seven road sweepers,” and the libero is definitely in the former class. The volleyball libero is similar, not restricted to a rigid role but expected to “do what is necessary.”

    Comment by vaganova — September 1, 2021 @ 5:26 pm

  7. Thanks, Teenchy, for the kind reference. And the Gene Rayburn piece worked to perfection.

    As Frank mentioned, are we going to fart around at car washes before something kicks into gear? Besides Tevin’s horniness, of course.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — September 1, 2021 @ 7:55 pm

  8. […] who watched Kianna blow him off a few days ago. How tall is she supposed to be anyway? She was tall enough to stare into the window of Tevin’s mom’s SUV at the gymnastics car wash a couple of […]

    Pingback by This Is Not a Fire Drill | This Week in Milford — September 15, 2021 @ 4:19 pm

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