March 12, 2014
A nothingburger… a big fat nothingburger. Well, for today at least. Seriously, two panels of absolute plot stasis, wherein all that is revealed is that the Mudlarks won a meaningless game and we see one step in the Valley Tech Girls Basketball coaches’ secret handshake.
So, we turn to panel three for our big reveal and… well, I guess we’re going to have to wait until tomorrow. And, with that, I got nothing more. Here, have a little culture:
I leave it as an exercise for the commenters to pull out the most appropriate lines from the poem to describe various aspects of Gil Thorp.
March 11, 2014
So, I guess that when I was speculating yesterday about the wisdom of wasting practices on whatever shenanigans Mimi has planned, I shouldn’t have worried as it makes no difference if they win or lose.
But remember, just because Mimi gives a series of the worst pre-game speeches conceivable, she’s still a slightly better coach than Gil. But remember, even though this is a team effort, we’re all going to focus on one player who only joined the team this year. But remember, it’s been a great season – one of our players was relentlessly taunted, another was suspended for a flagrant foul and we’re not going to the playdowns. But remember, let’s plan on losing tonight so we can ‘scrub the mission’.
Wait a second… The Mission? Whaaat? I almost titled this post Call of Mimi: Black Ops. Seriously, there is a mission? A mission which is contingent on them winning? Oh my goodness. Well, here’s hoping that it is sufficiently whacky to make up for the fact that this storyline has introduced some of the most unlikeable characters yet. I mean, Wynn and Keegan make me wish we still had the likes of Knox Foley and Doyle Dane to kick around…
March 10, 2014
“Give people something else to find on the internet!” Wow. That is some classic Sun-Tzu strategery right there. Much like many of Sun-Tzu’s oft quoted aphorisms, Gil’s admonition seems simple but seriously falls down in the ‘how’ department.* Regardless, Mimi seems to have come up with something – oh the suspense! – else for people to find on the internet involving her highschool girls basketball team. Frankly, given the content of Wendy’s videos, the mind boggles at the skeevy implications of how they are going to top that.
It is reassuring that the Thorps are demonstrating their typical coaching acumen in panel three as Mimi reveals that, with the season winding down and playdown implications surely hanging in the balance, she is willing to throw away several days of practice on this inanity.
Bonus point: That spoon in panel one and the way Gil is holding it as a drop of glop precariously dangles sure is something, isn’t it?
* I pulled up a couple of The Art of War quotes looking for inspiration and a great example of what I’m talking about went something like: ‘When you are strong, appear weak; when you are weak, appear strong’. I’m not even sure if that’s a real quote but I love it because it sure sounds like compelling advice but gives no clue as to how you would actually go about doing that. Maybe it’s explained in the book but, of course, I’ve never bothered to read it…
So 2 days after the great date that wasnt, we have discussions about Wendys psyche and more analysis of that video. If Wendy didnt see this coming, she’s as foggy as London. Mimi discusses it with Gil, who is forgetting he needs a potholder to grab the handle-less pot. Something different to look at, Gil? What are there, 10 million other videos already? I’m seeing a Gil-produced video on the way, hopefully starring Omari and Shelby Hunter in a tag-team cracking Hershey’s skull. That I would pay to see.
Let’s see… Panel one, Keegan defensively demonstrates that he’s dumber than a bag of hair. I get that the kid is a kid – even I have to see that – but I think if you’re old enough to drive you probably have the emotional facility necessary to figure out what you’ve done wrong here. Speaking of hair, would someone please buy Keegan a comb?
Panel two: Yep, that’s the chicken dance with an exploding eyeball thrown in for good measure. In the last two days, Wendy has gone through more eyeballs than I think we’ve previously seen. Someone send a note to Billy that we need to track this in the spreadsheet. I’d hate to let a record breaking performance like this be forgotten.
Panel three: Wendy wants you! …to know that her brother is hostile. Hostile? I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use. Maybe we ought to let her rephrase that. In any case, she should know by now that if she needs backup, the person to call is Shelby Hunter and it isn’t even close. Regardless, dumb as he is, Keegan better get with it. Wendy’s menacing left index finger resembles a one inch drill bit and Keegan is lucky his Adam’s apple is still intact after yesterday.
March 5, 2014
It appears we’re about to get our big payoff as a season’s worth of taunting induced rage is being brought into focus on the person of the hilariously stupid Keegan Hershey.
Oh, you didn’t know Wendy is a ninja? Check out panel three where she’s about to administer a death strike by crushing Keegan’s larynx with just her index finger. The lesson? Don’t mess with a hungry ninja.
I’m gonna have to declare a push on my bet that yesterday’s panel three would be repeated as today’s panel one nearly verbatim. It was close – hence my use of the weasel word ‘nearly’ – but Wendy’s vocalization of her surprise kinda sorta did actually move things forward a bit.
March 4, 2014
OK, folks. Today’s challenge is not for the faint hearted: Take a good long look at panel one. Now, can anyone explain to me what the heck is going on with Wendy’s lips? This strip is famous for its rather suggestive and/or bizarre depictions of many different parts of the human anatomy, but I don’t think we’ve seen this triple lipped phenomenon before.
Things don’t get any better in panel two, either. I think what we’re seeing there is supposed to be her lips somewhat puckered in frustration but I really can’t be sure as the rest of the drawing makes it look like Wendy has put on twenty pounds all in her face.
Panel three is fairly unremarkable. I bet thirty TWIM credits that it gets rehashed nearly verbatim tomorrow. Well, wait, is the guy on the far right trying to cop a feel? Now that I’ve seen it, I can’t un-see it…
March 3, 2014
P1: “I’m Hungry.” That, my friends, is what the cool kids in the literary arts refer to as foreshadowing. It’s a subtle detail that we might otherwise have missed but for the bolded and italicized emphasis on the word hungry.
P2: More foreshadowing!!! What wild twist is this leading up to? How will we be able to keep our nerves when the suspense this is creating is thicker than molasses gravy?
P3: And there it is! Wendy is going to continue to be hungry! Man, that is some first rate storytelling. Of course, there are still mysteries to be resolved such as whether this party is really just a screening of a montage of Wendy’s greatest ‘malfunctions’ and, perhaps most intriguing, who is driving the car as Keegan is clearly sitting in the middle seat.
Remaining mysteries? Why is Keegan manically grinning with his gaze fixed in the middle distance? What do all of those buttons and knobs on the dashboard do? Why didn’t Wendy eat anything all day and how badly has Wynn mangled her self esteem to the extent she can’t simply say that they need to eat something before going to this stupid party? Did the Milford basketball teams get eliminated from the playdowns? OK, for that last one I think we all know the answer.
Hopefully, at least one or two of these questions gets partially addressed in the days and weeks to come.