This Week in Milford

July 22, 2014

Bonus Pizza

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, freak hands, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 5:00 am

July 22, 2014


Extra practice? It’s a good thing that 7-on-7 football is completely beyond the purview of the NCAA or the coaches would be in for all kinds of trouble with these extra practices. Of course, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Sponsor-Hustler Kaz or the middle school guys (not gonna bother looking up their names) so it’s not like the coaches are really in control of anything here.

No, that would be Jarrod. Sure, his Gil-style flattop may be prematurely graying, but he sure is organizing the heck out of this team. And, while his mediocre results are also reminiscent of Gil, I think we have to give him credit for throwing a pizza party after the inevitable beatdown, even if his choice of marshmallow and blackeyed pea pizza is an unconventional topping combination.

As for panel 3? ZZZZzzzzzzz…. Interesting font choice for the JHS sign though.

July 21, 2014

We’re Talking About Practice?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford — nedryerson @ 5:45 am


Panel 1 shows us the marked improvement in Milford’s 7-on-7 game in the form of this dude in yoga pants cradling a football in a unique fashion. Previously, most of the players were trying to carry the ball using only their wrists, but this guy is getting his fingers involved to some extent.

Impovement on the scoreboard is not keeping pace with the gains in manual dexterity. Also, a basic understanding of scorekeeping and competitive ranking systems is lagging behind, but a few more sitting on mangled legs sessions should help bring everybody up to speed by the end of summer.

It’s like Jarrod Hale says, eventually we’ll figure this out. C’mon guys, what else have you got to do this summer?

July 19, 2014

Et tu, Standish?

Filed under: Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 7:25 am

July 19, 2014


Gil may not bargain for prospects but Virginia Valley Tech’s coach is an easier mark for Art Standish. Sporting a Roman emperor’s ‘do, VT coach seals a deal over a pyramid (symbolizing his conquest of Egypt) to hand over his game films to Art in exchange for – what? Does this mean The Truman Show will be playing at Valley Tech this fall? Will Art, True and Octavian there form a triumverate to divide up the Valley Conference? If this isn’t a done deal Gaius Valleius Technologus will come out looking kinda dumb.

Meanwhile Jarrod Hale attempts to shame a teammate into extra 7-on-7 practice. Unstated assumption: that unidentified teammate cares as much about this as Jarrod.

“Of course it’s optional, but so is me throwing you the ball.”

“Yeah, just as optional as me throwing blocks for you in the fall. Lookout!”

July 18, 2014

Now we know why Gil cant win

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 5:39 pm

As a lot of you may know, the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908, and havent played in one since 1945. There are several reasons why, but the main one is for many of those years the owner didnt care about winning. When that happens, everything else is flawed, be it hiring of coaches, scouts, drafting of minor-leaguers, and facility upkeep. Now that the owner does care, the fans can see the difference in the way the organization is run from top to bottom.

So what we have here is Gil revealing that he is not interested in acquiring top-notch talent from outside the area that would put his team over the top with other areas of the team squared away. Yes education comes first, but I’ll bet most of the Parade top 100 high school football players also are fine students in their own right, if not also honors-level. You need difference-makers to win titles, and Gil hasnt had one in so long I’ve forgotton his name(s). And in this day and age with everything on video, for him to not even know who this kid is is a glaring oversight. The frontman of a sports program has to be on top of all talent acquisition avenues, continually reloading every season at all levels, frosh, soph, jv and varsity. Until Gil makes that kind of commitment, get ready for more playoff-less campaigns my friends.

July 17, 2014

Guess Who’s Coming to Milford

July 17, 2014


So Kaz suggests that by not offering The Truman Show a “package” to play at Milford he’s somehow chasing them away? Milford High an SEC school or something now? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the presumably private, parochial St. Fabian’s to do something like that?

Nice form by Gil, even three sheets into the wind, BTW. Kaz doesn’t even carry a club but needs a golf glove to use his smartphone. Its superior screen resolution shows a player stiff-arming his way through a pile of watermelons but Kaz is already sold. The tension between Kaz (so tired of Gil’s underachieving Mudlark squads) and Gil (principled or lazy?) is so thick you could cut it with a knife…

… which is what Mimi’s prepared to do! As Gil uncorks the wine, Mimi chops up enough cabbage and potatoes to feed a small army (or those kids the Thorps have locked away in the basement). Gil only has two wine glasses out; is all that for just them?

Mimi’s practically begging for us to Google Truman Standish, so let’s do it, okay? Okay! Well, it’s not an exit sign on an Interstate highway in Ohio. The most we get is that it’s the maiden and married name of a woman who died in Missouri in 1894 – but also the first and middle names of a man from Pennsylvania who died in Michigan in 1904. That’s Rubin country and that’s good enough for me.

July 16, 2014

Don’t Really Want To Think About Gil’s Two Part Package

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, golf — timbuys @ 4:41 am

July 16,2014


Today we learn that, yes, the Standishes are indeed terrible awful people who have come to the conclusion that if others are to benefit from True’s talent and effort, then they might as well get some tangible rewards as well. Or, just as likely, we learn that while Gil may be drunk six ways to Sunday all Summer, he can smell a grifter from a mile away and is holding off on offering these two anything based solely upon Art’s word that his kid is highly rated on the ‘coast’. Notice that Standish pere never specified which coast he meant. Sure, could be the East Coast, maybe the West Coast, of heck even the Gulf Coast. For all the context we’ve been given it could just be the coast of Lake Erie or the Cote d’Ivoire.

Bonus points: Hey, gratuitous golf scene! I’m sure the golfers in the audience will know exactly what that, to me, mysterious implement Gil is wielding in panel three is, so no Pantheon for it.

Also, after having to contemplate Gil’s package, aren’t we all glad we only had to get a profile shot of him bending over in his tight, tight shorts?

July 15, 2014

Where Or When?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 4:52 am

July 15, 2014


Let’s run through today’s panels so I can post a video related to the title neither of which are related all that much to the content of the strip…

Panel one: Gil is only one fourth of the way through his Long Island Iced Tea so – even though he already pounded a sixer of PBR earlier this morning – he hasn’t started slurring his words yet. Instead, he is in the ‘pontificating’ stage of his drunk and at least trying to maintain a semblance of some sort of authority figure who offers guidance here and there before disappearing from his namesake strip for weeks at a time on epic benders.

Panel two: Ah yes, now we get True telling us the truth. How many awful play on words will the creators come up with? How many awful play on words can we the commenters respond with? Much like any arms race, this battle will pivot upon the fulcrum of the MAD principle, Mutually Assured Disdain.

Panel three: Art sure does cut to the chase. I suppose that where this is really going is something along the lines of Johnny Football and his rich dad. Unfortunately, we won’t find out more until tomorrow as that ellipsis keeps us all on tenterhooks.

There you have it folks, another rushed post squeezed in between a six am meeting to discuss variances in our root beer sales and distribution forecast, that will be followed by facilitating an all day workshop on root beer processes and then diagramming numerous root beer related flow charts so as to reflect recent changes in root beer distribution processes and policies! I guess what I’m trying to say is that at some point while I was staring at today’s strip hoping for something to hit me (figuratively if not literally), I looked at panel two and thought of the song Where or When and, as something is better than nothing to work with, I went from there even if I never quite got back to that. Why? Because the following is a quite nice rendition of the tune!

Bonus points: Someone pointed out in comments yesterday that the Coffee Cantina is misnamed as a cantina sells booze. I humbly submit that the reason the CC is Gil’s favorite place for a morning pick me up is that it’s one of those trendy new coffee shops that sell liquor and coffee and that they do in fact Irish up his coffee and put the Long Island in his iced tea. I’ll leave the details of Milford liquor licensing to another post though.

I think if True lets his hair grow out, he could be a Pantheon candidate. This development just might be the most interesting aspect of this summer’s plot. I will say that I am almost positive that the resolution of the plot will result in Jarrod Hale being the unquestioned starter come Fall.

July 14, 2014

Gotta Be A Do Right Program

Filed under: exposition comics — nedryerson @ 7:35 am


Well, here we go. All the cards are on the table now. Art Standish is an overbearing douche. His son, Truman, is mostly embarrassed by his father’s arrogant and presumptuous manner. Yeah, we pretty much already picked up on all of this. The added exposition now adds a little more fuel to the thematic fire of this summer’s exploration of the over-importance of high school football as expressed by delusional douches.

Now’s the part where we sit back and watch Gil peer over his Long Island ice tea and let Art Standish know that Gil doesn’t put any stock in national rankings (or coastal rankings), recruiting in general, or any of the other variations on long range planning of high school football programs. Nope, Gil coaches by feel and recruits by circumstance, so the True train might as well just pull out of this tank town and move on down the line (unless they want to wrestle or work with golf kids for a couple months).


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