So the reason for True’s quick exit from the pizza party was to tell Gil about Max Ortiz. Who is Max Ortiz you say? Ask and you shall receive:
From his headshot he appears to weigh way more then 60 pounds, and he also knows how to control artificial limbs, suggesting his own limbs may only weigh 60 pounds, but goshdarnit those fake ones are what enable him to stretch out and catch those bombs, and also to fly down the field at supernatural speeds past any defense.
Again, the players tell Gil about good players rather then vice-versa, and I love how True is upsetting the applecart by promoting a player at the position Gil has in mind for Jarrod. I know you cant have too many good players with football being the way it is and such, but there’s only 1 ball, and only so many players can handle the ball. I suppose Jarrod can be the possession receiver and Max the deep threat, but we’re getting way ahead of ourselves.
The basic question is how on earth a 60 pound high schooler makes the JV football team, let alone get PROMOTED to the varsity in a New York minute. I last weighed 60 pounds in 4th grade, was up to 100 by high school, and put on 50 in four years, so I was twice Max’s size by his age, and I was still fairly thin even then being tall. Remember Ira ‘Brick’ House? How much did he weigh? And his football career was cut short by being run over by Bigger players. But he was useful by suggesting plays to Gil (inmates running the asylum, see my post from a few weeks back) So please answer that one for me, and one other thing: All else being equal, True needs to bring the ball down, or Max will need a full-body cast from getting drilled in the backside.
October 23, 2014
Well that didn’t take long now, did it? Jarrod’s now eager to learn all the fine points of receiving from Knox.
“How did you overrun the ball then turn back to make it look like it came up just short, causing me to lose my dream job?”
“With the game on the line, how did you slow down when you were wide open to make it look like True overthrew you? I’m really more interested in that, since if I make True look bad enough, I’ll get my dream job back!”
Speaking of technique: in P3 we fast forward to the following week’s practice where Gil praises True’s
skills in the showers ability to take some mustard off the ball when he throws it to Jarrod. Then we’re left hanging for a punchline, probably about something else that’s delicate…
October 22, 2014
Well, Dale was right in the comments yesterday. As unlikely as I had thought it would be that kids born just before the turn of the century would be making callouts to Our Gang, that’s apparently exactly what just happened yesterday. I’m not sure that this really counts as ‘learning something new every day’ but I’ll file it under that category for now.
Oh hey, I almost missed that True’s interlocutor in panels one and two is Saad Shamoun. You remember him, right? Who could ever forget that pulse pounding dramatic arc? Anyway, yeah, I guess Saad is back but for what purposes, we can only guess. (My guess: this is probably the last we see of Saad for another two months…)
Finally, somewhat upending the old phrase ‘takes one to know one’, we see that Knox and company have mis-underestimated True’s character. But who could blame them? If I lived in Milford (as opposed to commuting there weekly), I’d probably just go into every personal interaction ready for them to be jerks.
Gotta love those tiny cans everyone has. Are they Red Bull as suggested by Teenchy or tiny Perrier cans?
If True’s hair gets any more voluminous, I may have to nominate him for the pantheon. Let’s keep a close eye on this going forward.
October 21, 2014
Lot of confusing stuff today, but in the interests of (my) time, let’s just focus in on the panel three horror show.
Freak hand? – Check.
Bizarre facial hair? – Check.
Exploding eyeball? – that’s a big Check!
Unbuttoned shirt over black t-shirt? – Check.
Weird details? (The same artist who couldn’t put a G on Gil’s mug manages to cram in ‘izz’ on the pizza box? – Check.
Utter non sequitur induced confusion? – Checkmate! I have no clue what the hell is going on here.
Hey Jarrod, Omari’s not done moving you in the right direction. Why are you looking over this way? Now pay attention to Omari’s little speech, or he’ll slap you with that big freaky finger. (Say, what is going on in the foreground? Is Austin Shuford handing out adderall?)
Pizza party at Knox Foley’s! Pizza, pals, Playstation, Pall Malls, prostitutes, Pokemon cards, Polk Salad, pumpkin scones, parcheesi…and college football!
So those pals on the couch are playing video games, so where is this college football? I guess it’s on Knox Foley’s phone. Some party.
October 18, 2014
Riding the bench for one game has so disturbed young Jarrod that he’s prematurely aging: gone gray at the temples and freckles turned to huge pores. Ease up, Dorian Gray!
Fortunately Omari is there to offer him a bottle of Just for Men. No, wait – this is his interpretation of Gil’s directive to “move [Jarrod] in the right direction.” If that direction isn’t toward becoming more of a team player, then hopefully it will be toward the inside of those lockers, as FoolyRain suggested on Thursday. Omari has a valid point: everybody has their reasons for joining a team, but as that team they have a common goal. This is usually the time of the season that the coaching staff has motivational t-shirts printed up for the players – “ONE TEAM, ONE DREAM” or some such.
I’m sure Jarrod will get the chance to redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates; whether it’s by accepting his role and playing it or by some deus ex machina harm to True remains to be seen. Either way, I imagine it will lead to another second place finish in the Valley Conference.
EDIT: Question for today: If you were Coach Shaw (or one of Gil’s other lackeys) and Gil charged you to come up with a motivational t-shirt slogan for this season’s Mudlark squad, what would it be?
Another 1-panel game plus a pouting Jarrod means he isnt interested in being a receiver, yet. Good to see True finding his game shape after some obvious rust the first time out. I knew a full week of practice with the 1st-teamers would make the difference. At the high school level the coaches primary job is player development for the next level, knowing that most of the team will quit the sport after high school. They will just enjoy the experience and learn to be good teammates. Jarrod needs to know that a lot of good players change positions during their football life, and maybe if he tries to play the receiver position he may like it and wind up playing it in college, and beyond.
As far as the panels go, we have nobody in view in P1 save for the WR dancing into the end zone. He cant be that open. P2 has the cheering fans and a sunburst indicating a day game for a change. P3 has an unknown coach talking to Jarrod, and if thats True walking toward us, he sure has a shit-eating grin on his face.
October 16, 2014
At the end of a hard day of bursting self-entitled high school boys’ bubbles, there’s nothing like untucking, unbuttoning and unwinding on the couch with the missus. Why do I get the feeling that the Thorps are watching Whose Line Is It Anyway?
“Let’s call it ‘less than wild enthusiasm,’ if you know what I mean.“
“But I’m planning to enlist some counselors to steer him along, if you know what I mean.“
Gil’s “counselors” take the form of the mouthy Troys. Hard to recognize Milford’s Omari Troy (not the Georgia criminal) and Troy Costello (must’ve bleached his hair since we last saw him); why Silent John Pascoe isn’t part of this posse is beyond me. Gil is no doubt aware of the seeds of dissent a petulant Jarrod has already sown, and wants to nip that in the bud. So he’s getting the Troys to “move him in the right direction, if you know what I mean.” Remember, it’s just a bad dream, freckle face.