This Week in Milford

October 22, 2014

A Good Dude

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 4:55 am

buOctober 22, 2014

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Well, Dale was right in the comments yesterday. As unlikely as I had thought it would be that kids born just before the turn of the century would be making callouts to Our Gang, that’s apparently exactly what just happened yesterday. I’m not sure that this really counts as ‘learning something new every day’ but I’ll file it under that category for now.

Oh hey, I almost missed that True’s interlocutor in panels one and two is Saad Shamoun. You remember him, right? Who could ever forget that pulse pounding dramatic arc? Anyway, yeah, I guess Saad is back but for what purposes, we can only guess. (My guess: this is probably the last we see of Saad for another two months…)

Finally, somewhat upending the old phrase ‘takes one to know one’, we see that Knox and company have mis-underestimated True’s character. But who could blame them? If I lived in Milford (as opposed to commuting there weekly), I’d probably just go into every personal interaction ready for them to be jerks.

Bonus points:

Gotta love those tiny cans everyone has. Are they Red Bull as suggested by Teenchy or tiny Perrier cans?

If True’s hair gets any more voluminous, I may have to nominate him for the pantheon. Let’s keep a close eye on this going forward.

October 21, 2014

Mama’s Boy?

October 21, 2014

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Lot of confusing stuff today, but in the interests of (my) time, let’s just focus in on the panel three horror show.

Freak hand? – Check.
Bizarre facial hair? – Check.
Exploding eyeball? – that’s a big Check!
Unbuttoned shirt over black t-shirt? – Check.
Weird details? (The same artist who couldn’t put a G on Gil’s mug manages to cram in ‘izz’ on the pizza box? – Check.
Utter non sequitur induced confusion? – Checkmate! I have no clue what the hell is going on here.

October 20, 2014

Charge!…This Pizza to the Foley Law Group

Filed under: Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 4:11 am

10/20/14
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Hey Jarrod, Omari’s not done moving you in the right direction. Why are you looking over this way? Now pay attention to Omari’s little speech, or he’ll slap you with that big freaky finger. (Say, what is going on in the foreground? Is Austin Shuford handing out adderall?)

Pizza party at Knox Foley’s! Pizza, pals, Playstation, Pall Malls, prostitutes, Pokemon cards, Polk Salad, pumpkin scones, parcheesi…and college football!

So those pals on the couch are playing video games, so where is this college football? I guess it’s on Knox Foley’s phone. Some party.

October 18, 2014

We live, as we dream — alone.

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces — teenchy @ 6:17 am

October 18, 2014

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Riding the bench for one game has so disturbed young Jarrod that he’s prematurely aging: gone gray at the temples and freckles turned to huge pores. Ease up, Dorian Gray!

Fortunately Omari is there to offer him a bottle of Just for Men. No, wait – this is his interpretation of Gil’s directive to  “move [Jarrod] in the right direction.” If that direction isn’t toward becoming more of a team player, then hopefully it will be toward the inside of those lockers, as FoolyRain suggested on Thursday.  Omari has a valid point: everybody has their reasons for joining a team, but as that team they have a common goal. This is usually the time of the season that the coaching staff has motivational t-shirts printed up for the players – “ONE TEAM, ONE DREAM” or some such.

I’m sure Jarrod will get the chance to redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates; whether it’s by accepting his role and playing it or by some deus ex machina harm to True remains to be seen. Either way, I imagine it will lead to another second place finish in the Valley Conference.

EDIT: Question for today: If you were Coach Shaw (or one of Gil’s other lackeys) and Gil charged you to come up with a motivational t-shirt slogan for this season’s Mudlark squad, what would it be?

October 17, 2014

11 is always greater then 7

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 11:57 am

Another 1-panel game plus a pouting Jarrod means he isnt interested in being a receiver, yet. Good to see True finding his game shape after some obvious rust the first time out. I knew a full week of practice with the 1st-teamers would make the difference. At the high school level the coaches primary job is player development for the next level, knowing that most of the team will quit the sport after high school. They will just enjoy the experience and learn to be good teammates. Jarrod needs to know that a lot of good players change positions during their football life, and maybe if he tries to play the receiver position he may like it and wind up playing it in college, and beyond.
As far as the panels go, we have nobody in view in P1 save for the WR dancing into the end zone. He cant be that open. P2 has the cheering fans and a sunburst indicating a day game for a change. P3 has an unknown coach talking to Jarrod, and if thats True walking toward us, he sure has a shit-eating grin on his face.

October 16, 2014

Time for a Blanket Party, If You Know What I Mean

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Mimi Thorp — teenchy @ 5:26 am

October 16, 2014

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At the end of a hard day of bursting self-entitled high school boys’ bubbles, there’s nothing like untucking, unbuttoning and unwinding on the couch with the missus. Why do I get the feeling that the Thorps are watching Whose Line Is It Anyway?

“Let’s call it ‘less than wild enthusiasm,’ if you know what I mean.

“But I’m planning to enlist some counselors to steer him along, if you know what I mean.

Gil’s “counselors” take the form of the mouthy Troys. Hard to recognize Milford’s Omari Troy (not the Georgia criminal) and Troy Costello (must’ve bleached his hair since we last saw him); why Silent John Pascoe isn’t part of this posse is beyond me. Gil is no doubt aware of the seeds of dissent a petulant Jarrod has already sown, and wants to nip that in the bud. So he’s getting the Troys to “move him in the right direction, if you know what I mean.” Remember, it’s just a bad dream, freckle face.

October 15, 2014

Guys, I Don’t Think Jarrod Understands How This Football Stuff Works

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Just plain sad — timbuys @ 5:27 am

October 15, 2014

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“I’ve been quarterback since I was nine!” has to be one of the saddest bits of dialogue to come down the pike here in Milford. It’s interesting that Gil thinks Jarrod can be a valuable receiver (as opposed to all of those worthless receivers just lying around) despite the fact that he is supposedly undersized.

All that’s left to do is to pick the panel of the day:

Panel one is very artistic what with my favorite windows, the shadowy foreground tree and poignant symbolism of the leaves falling to the ground, much like Jarrod’s dreams of being QB.

Panel two displays the quintessence of the strip quite nicely – if you ever want to see what Gil looks like while not giving a shit about tearing down some deluded Milford adolescent’s worldview, this is the panel for you. How we didn’t get an exploding eyeball from Jarrod is beyond me.

Panel three takes the cake though. I think Jarrod is going to join the darkside. I mean, aside from his dialogue, he is actually baring his teeth at Gil! Frightening stuff!

Bonus point: what is going on with Gil’s mug? Is it really that hard to cram a G in there? I don’t see how a C really saves you any space….

October 14, 2014

Why Did The Armadillo Walk To The Middle Of The Road?

Filed under: Bad Jokes, Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 7:39 am

October 14, 2014

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Well, I mentioned in comments that I would actually have a decent amount of time today to write a post. Fortunately for me, I didn’t promise that the additional time would lead to a high quality post…

In panel one, we see Kaz (and Gil) illuminated while the disembodied legs in the foreground remain shrouded in darkness. This is a very interesting tableau: I’m not sure what the thought process was that led to framing the coaches like this, but it does… something. Yep, it sure does something.

It seems to me, based on the change in background, that we skipped ahead about five minutes or so from the beginning of Gil’s rendition of that beloved chestnut about the middle of the road. Fortunately, we come in right as he drops the kicker: Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos. Yessir, I do believe Gil might have taken that line directly from the b-side of Slim Chance and the Long Shots‘ first single.

Panel three is a jaw dropper in its own right: The insight and analysis on display here is so deep you couldn’t drown a flea in it. I do like how Coach Shaw – Hey, there guy! We haven’t seen you in a while – is just staring at Steve, probably giving him the stinkeye as his indignation at being leapfrogged by this one-armed moron in the Milford athletic department has him seriously questioning his life choices.

Given the copious amount of time to compose this post that I have, I would be remiss not to include a youtube clip as a soundtrack to listen to while reading this post. One of my earlier drafts of this post was going to include a joke based on p2 about not accepting offers to go to lunch with Gil because of how said lunch would include roadkill armadillo. Well, I couldn’t quite make that one match the unparalleled hilarity of the rest of my commentary but I am glad to see whoever wrote this song went to the same place.

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