Gil gets a job for the first time ever?

We now drop yesterday’s exciting mystery of “Where did that baseball come from?” to return to Gil’s boring lunch with Ted Pearse. While in school, Ted was known for wearing wacky nacho shirts and, well, being homeless. (Yes, the Random Amusing Panel o’ the Moment just happens to be from the time opposing fans dressed up like hobos to mock him. Good times.) Now he apparently wears boring shirts like everyone else, and even got his hair cut to be boring like everyone else. Way to sell out. Yawn.

So will Gil join Ted’s dumpster distribution business? One can only hope. It’s at least less lame than anything to do with stupid Elmer Vargas.

Kidnapping? Or just kids napping?

7/7/09

So here’s a perfect example of poor pacing: As I can skip from Monday’s comic to Wednesday’s without realizing I missed anything, there’s no point to this comic whatsoever. (Yes, even more than normal.) Just making a note of this for when Neal runs out of time at the end of this story…

7/8/09

Which is the most disturbing:

• The fact that there are no children in the Thorps’ neighborhood? (Wait, don’t Gil and Mimi have kids? Did Clambake lure them all away?)
• The fact that Gil didn’t even know this? (But aren’t you somehow glad about that?)
• The fact that Mimi did know this?

Where the hell is this going?

Cue the Wacky Summer Adventures Theme Music…

So this is the part where Gil claims he’s gonna hang around the house all summer for less than two months, then proceeds to wander off to PUB ’til September. Or maybe  pretends to teach a one-legged kid to box. In any case, he seems to be unable to recall that Gil Thorp Wacky Summer Adventures (TM) mostly happen to someone else.

You might think that Gil’s life looks pretty boring right now, (you know, off to visit Ted Pearse in whatever dumpster he now resides in…) but look closely, even before the foreshadowing of Shlep Flumbo getting shot on his front lawn, the summer excitement has already begun! Because in addition to shacking up with Molly Kinsella for some reason, Gil has had oars installed on his ceiling. Crazy!

Another reason for me to hate Twitter

7/3/09

7/4/09

…And now we know that Twittling Tweeting has officially jumped the shark. Yep, in a meta-moment for Milford, Neal Rubin has created this very account on Twitter, though as of posting time, no twattles from the Coach yet. Fortunately, he has the whole beautiful summer less than two months to figure it out.

Luckily for me, since I hate Twitter, I won’t need to keep up with his progress. But I’ll add the link to the sidebar for those of you who are less anti-Twitter than I am.

And now, just because I’m curious, a Twitter opinion poll!

Enjoy your July 4th, everyone. It’s your independence from any more of that spring plotline celebration day!

The merciless beating of Shep finally happens, right?

Due to space constraints and lazy pre-long weekend cartoonist writing, Gil’s dialogue appears as awkward words that no human would ever actually say (also known as “Mary Worth Syndrome.”) What Gil meant to say was:

“Yeah, they were pissed off! Shep’s dad took off his belt and whupped that punk’s as ’til he couldn’t sit for a month. Of course they’ve always hated him. I mean, who names their kid ‘Shep’? Probably why he’s always been such an asshole though. Doesn’t fall far from the asshole tree, right? But thank god we didn’t have to do anything besides essentially sweep a deeply troubled punk kid under the rug. In another couple month’s he’ll be the state’s problem. Holy crap, there’s a ball flying into my word balloon!”

Later, New Thayer is shocked when Paul Diehl hits the ball 932 feet.

And still later, forgettable Bill has a forgettable game and will hopefully wander into the forgettable sunset. Or maybe he’s named Jim. In any case, who cares? Bring on summer insanity!

Sounds to me like I have a problem.

6/30/09

7/1/09

So I am literally falling asleep as I write this.. Looks like these comics are as interesting as I am tired. On the plus side, this lame plot is finally limping to the finish, which means at least we’ll get something else soon. I’d write more but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Where’s a bus when you need one?

6/27/09

6/29/09

“So, wait…you decided to go home…and text me that you were gonna rat me out?”
“Yep, and now for some reason we’re talking face-to-face again.”
“Yeah that makes as much sense as everything else. Since when did you finally figure out I was a total asshole?”
“The 423rd time you did the salt shaker gag, I saw how deeply it affected sodium-intolerant Marjie Ducey. So now instead of being the guy who is friends with the biggest asshole in school and therefore kind of an asshole himself, I will be the guy who sold out his only friend to the coach who will be too drunk at 9AM to remember I told him anything at all.”
“Amazing. And pathetic. Can’t you just literally throw me under a bus? That would be much more satisfying for everyone. Even me.”
“So true. And if school continues past July 4th I’m throwing myself under there too.”

Normally he goes to the restroom to work on his shaker…

6/25/09

When your team only has one good player, when that player gets suspended for something nonsensical, it appears your team stinks. It stinks so bad it can get single-handedly beat by Braidy-Mc AwkwardBatHolder. (Seriously. Try swinging a bat while holding it like she does and hitting the ball more than three feet.) How the hell do you get a triple while doing that? Oh yeah. Because Milford is awful without Molly-kini.

6/26/09

Speaking of stupid, how long does it take to tell the story of “I found Bill’s phone and sent that picture myself.” Oh yeah, about as long a it takes to “work on the salt shaker.” Where’s Kaz when you need him to apply a massive beating?

Also, is there booze in those milkshakes? Why does Robbbbb care how many the softball team is drinking? Perhaps they’re Nutboy flavor and he’s horrified. Mmmmm, Nutboy milkshakes. They taste as good as this plot resolution!