July 26, 2014
Well the high-speed collision between True and Gil I was so hoping for yesterday did not materialize. It would’ve been a good one, too, as we pan out to see a 7-foot-tall Gil emerge from a stonking big SUV of some kind (which looks like an amalgam of a Mitsubishi Montero and Nissan Armada with the front clip from an FJ62 Toyota Land Cruiser).
We’re left to guess what it was about Milford that drew True back. The Coffee Cantina’s Peaberry? A chance at running into Wendy Wiley or Molly Kinsella, who he’s seen so much of online? Surely it wasn’t that sentient lamppost that woman is waving to down the street.
Wow – Gil has a bluetooth! This strip is just getting so modern I cant believe it. I have no idea who the woman in P2 is, but she looks like someone I could enjoy playing golf with. If its Mimi, why is she filling in for Gil? How does he get off not showing up at anything he’s supposed to be doing anymore? Where did she come from? The adult figure in P1 looks very male.
July 24, 2014
A Central City Hotel is, apparently, the Central City Hilt.
Also apparently Art’s full-time job is not shopping True around the Valley to the highest bidder.
We now join CSI: Central City, already in progress. Either that thought balloon should be written in sarcasm font, or the GPS in that tiny smartphone is really crappy. Maybe True is a just true dumbass, but no less dumb than the agent who rents a car to a high school kid. Anyway, free of Art, wind in his hair but a roof over his head, True sets off on a voyage of self-discovery. No doubt he’ll be led to a place that will appreciate him for who he is and not the “package” Art’s been pushing on Valley coaches all week. A place where he can compete, a place where he can shine, a place with a self-important incumbent starting QB who lacks talent but for his own chutzpah and bossiness disguised as leadership.
July 23, 2014
Let’s take stock of where we are… Oh, we’re in Jefferson High School just like the sign said in yesterday’s strip. What else? Well, Art is drinking a cup of swirly coffee and True is drinking a cup of pens and pencils while they meet with the presumable head coach of the Jeffs over the world’s smallest office desk – drawing perspective is hell I tell you: look how low Art has to slouch just to fit in panel.
Panel two is a bit of a stumper. Why is the Jeffs’ coach running down Milford? Gil already told the Standish’s what they could do with themselves if they expected him to lift a finger on their behalf so it’s hard to believe that Milford is somehow the front runner for True’s services. Regardless, with respect to this waxing business, insert mandatory Steve Luhm joke here.
Panel three promises us nothing but more sorrowful ennui as it seems that the unnamed Jeffs coach failed to close the deal and we are going to get more snippets of the Standish’s meeting with Valley conference coaches. (Sales tip coach: Your first instinct not to run the other guy down was correct. You need to convince the prospect why your school is the right one.) Speaking of which, assuming the Valley covers a fairly broad territory, wouldn’t the school True attends be dictated either by wherever the Standish’s live or however far they are willing to drive to a private school? Am I missing something here?
July 22, 2014
Extra practice? It’s a good thing that 7-on-7 football is completely beyond the purview of the NCAA or the coaches would be in for all kinds of trouble with these extra practices. Of course, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Sponsor-Hustler Kaz or the middle school guys (not gonna bother looking up their names) so it’s not like the coaches are really in control of anything here.
No, that would be Jarrod. Sure, his Gil-style flattop may be prematurely graying, but he sure is organizing the heck out of this team. And, while his mediocre results are also reminiscent of Gil, I think we have to give him credit for throwing a pizza party after the inevitable beatdown, even if his choice of marshmallow and blackeyed pea pizza is an unconventional topping combination.
As for panel 3? ZZZZzzzzzzz…. Interesting font choice for the JHS sign though.
Panel 1 shows us the marked improvement in Milford’s 7-on-7 game in the form of this dude in yoga pants cradling a football in a unique fashion. Previously, most of the players were trying to carry the ball using only their wrists, but this guy is getting his fingers involved to some extent.
Impovement on the scoreboard is not keeping pace with the gains in manual dexterity. Also, a basic understanding of scorekeeping and competitive ranking systems is lagging behind, but a few more sitting on mangled legs sessions should help bring everybody up to speed by the end of summer.
It’s like Jarrod Hale says, eventually we’ll figure this out. C’mon guys, what else have you got to do this summer?
July 19, 2014
Gil may not bargain for prospects but
Virginia Valley Tech’s coach is an easier mark for Art Standish. Sporting a Roman emperor’s ‘do, VT coach seals a deal over a pyramid (symbolizing his conquest of Egypt) to hand over his game films to Art in exchange for – what? Does this mean The Truman Show will be playing at Valley Tech this fall? Will Art, True and Octavian there form a triumverate to divide up the Valley Conference? If this isn’t a done deal Gaius Valleius Technologus will come out looking kinda dumb.
Meanwhile Jarrod Hale attempts to shame a teammate into extra 7-on-7 practice. Unstated assumption: that unidentified teammate cares as much about this as Jarrod.
“Of course it’s optional, but so is me throwing you the ball.”
“Yeah, just as optional as me throwing blocks for you in the fall. Lookout!”
As a lot of you may know, the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908, and havent played in one since 1945. There are several reasons why, but the main one is for many of those years the owner didnt care about winning. When that happens, everything else is flawed, be it hiring of coaches, scouts, drafting of minor-leaguers, and facility upkeep. Now that the owner does care, the fans can see the difference in the way the organization is run from top to bottom.
So what we have here is Gil revealing that he is not interested in acquiring top-notch talent from outside the area that would put his team over the top with other areas of the team squared away. Yes education comes first, but I’ll bet most of the Parade top 100 high school football players also are fine students in their own right, if not also honors-level. You need difference-makers to win titles, and Gil hasnt had one in so long I’ve forgotton his name(s). And in this day and age with everything on video, for him to not even know who this kid is is a glaring oversight. The frontman of a sports program has to be on top of all talent acquisition avenues, continually reloading every season at all levels, frosh, soph, jv and varsity. Until Gil makes that kind of commitment, get ready for more playoff-less campaigns my friends.