Well, holy crap biscuits, the whole day has gotten away from me, I’m staring down the barrel of a long weekend where I intend to probably go at least partially insane, and I haven’t come up with anything to say about this “court” for kangaroos with misshapen heads and weirdly parted hair.
I like Judge Gil: “Yeah, enough out of you, douche. Everybody here thinks you’re a douche so you pretty much know where this is going, so zip it. Jimmy, can you tell the court in your own words what kind of douchery this douche has been perpetrating?”
“But coach…”
“Shaddap! What part of Knox talks, then Jimmy talks did you not get?”
“I know coach, but I mean there’s not even the slightest hint of impartiality…”
“You can’t handle the truth!”
“What?”
“I said, ‘You can’t handle the truth!’”
“I heard you, but why?”
“I ask the questions. Over to you Jimmy. Is this the douche in question?”
“Uh yeah, coach, I thought I was going to tell my side….”
“I think we’ve heard enough. Jury, who here thinks this douche needs to shut his yap and play ball and if he ever mentions the SpeedCo or that yutz who slipped there last winter he should get stuffed in a locker until football season?”
“Huh? Sure, yeah. Uh huh, that’s what we’ve been saying! Yeah.”
“Alright, I’ve made my ruling. Rusty the Bailiff has some paperwork for you to sign. I’ll retire to my chambers to polish off some paperwork, then I’ll be be firing up the BBQ!”
Smell ya later!















